


Trial Run

by abo_trash



Category: Heathers: The Musical - Murphy & O'Keefe
Genre: Abusive Parents, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Autistic Heather McNamara, Bulimia, Bullying, Child Neglect, Coming Out, Demigirl Heather McNamara, Eating Disorders, F/F, Implied Childhood Sexual Abuse, Implied/Referenced Abortion, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Intersex Heather Chandler, Misgendering, Multi, Past Child Abuse, Rape Recovery, Self-Harm, Trans Female Character, Trans Heather Duke
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-15
Updated: 2017-10-11
Packaged: 2018-10-05 15:07:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 35
Words: 91,737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10310951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/abo_trash/pseuds/abo_trash
Summary: EDIT: previously discovering bisexuality: veronica sawyers story, i changed the name cause i felt it wasn't appropriate ¯\_(ツ)_/¯---Dear Diary,Heather kissed me today. Chandler, I mean. It was my first kiss, and I want to say I regret telling her I'd never kissed anyone, that it was really a mistake on her part being so gay, but... I have to say. I liked it. I really really liked it. Does that make me gay?---Heather kisses Veronica after a game of truth or dare the night before. Veronica doesn't know how to deal with it.





	1. Chapter 1

Lips pressed to her own, warm and soft and cherry-scented. Every nerve in her body lit up with fire, her gym bag gripped tightly in her hands. It all happened so fast, and before she could even begin to kiss back or pull away- she wasn't even sure which it would have been- Heather pulled away, straightened up just a little so her hair hung around them both, and _grinned_ down at her. The same grin she gave when Veronica had done exactly what she had wanted, when she had won. Predatory and sharp, all teeth and glinting in her eyes, and it made Veronica's knees go weak to see it up so close and personal.

“Wuh… Wh-what was that about?” she squeaked out after a moment of staring into those wonderful eyes that threatened to drag her into their dark and murky depths, swimming pools of grey that seemed to swallow her whole. She could feel something tacky on her lips, sticky and almost dry but not quite, but Heather's hand above her head kept her from moving to wipe it off and see what it was. Just having her above her like this, towering and smirking as she stared her down, was enough to have her stomach doing flips and keep her from doing anything more than stare up at the other girl.

“Last night, when we were playing truth or dare with Heather and Heather. You said you'd never kissed anyone before, right?” Heather Chandler said simply, as if Veronica was asking her a basic math problem meant for kindergartens instead of asking why she had kissed her in the hallway leading to the locker room just before gym, after everyone else had gone in to get dressed. Not quite understanding the connection, Veronica gave a short and jerky nod, her eyes never leaving Heather's, before there Heather gave a soft and almost devilish laugh that rung in her ears and sent her heart fluttering. “Now you have.”

She was still reeling, still trying to collect her thoughts, when Heather brought her free hand up to carefully cup her chin, her eyes focusing on her lips. She traced her thumb over Veronica's bottom lip, slow and careful, wiping up whatever she had left there. Instead of pulling her thumb away as Veronica had expected her to, she tapped it against her lips slowly. Once, twice, three times, before she got the hint and parted her lips on the fourth.

The salty taste of flesh pressed over her tongue, tinged with something else that was almost waxy and entirely unpleasant. Lipstick? Had Heather's lipstick smeared on her lips? She didn't try to ask, not Heather's thumb in her mouth, not with the way it ran so sensually over her tongue. She could feel it tracing along slowly as Heather stared down at her mouth, seeming captivated, and all Veronica could do was stare at her, watching her reaction and watching her stare. Still in shock from the absurdity of it all, she didn't realise what she was doing when Heather ran her thumb over her bottom lip, focusing on the spot just inside where her teeth normally worried and drew blood when she got nervous and had left a small white whelp, and her mouth closed around the digit, sucking on it lightly.

A light gasp slipped free from Heather as she towered over Veronica, her eyes half lidded and… Was that a blush, starting to form on her cheeks? Was Heather _flustered?_ She wanted to ask, wanted to kiss her again, wanted to moan at the way Heather's thumb felt against her lips, but instead settled for grabbing onto Heather's arm gently. Making sure she wouldn't pull away, Veronica let her eyes slip closed. She focused on running her tongue against Heather's thumb as she suckled on the digit, and Heather let out a glorious noise, one of almost shock and something else that Veronica couldn't quite place a finger to. Maybe arousal?

Before she could do more, could let out the moan that was bubbling in the back of her throat, Heather jerked her arm away. Pulled it from her grasp and made Veronica's eyes snap open. Heather suddenly straightened up, all jerky twitches and half made noises that were part flustered, part annoyance, before she rushed away. There wasn't a word more to be said between them as the locker room door slammed shut, and Veronica felt her chest swell, felt her lips tingle, and felt something else swell up in her chest, like a big balloon about to pop. It kept swelling and swelling until Veronica was almost certain her chest would burst open, and all she could do was touch her fingers to her lips, as if that would quell the buzzing in her skin. Instead, it made her realise exactly what had just happened, here in the dark hallway outside of the girl's locker room, when they should have been getting dressed for gym.

Heather Chandler had kissed her, and she had liked it.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dear Diary,  
> I just had a panic attack. Over Heather. I haven't had one of those in a while so it was… yeah, no, it was just as horrible as I remembered. I can't even bring myself to look at all the texts Heather sent me or listen to her voicemails. I'll tell her I forgot to tomorrow, if she doesn't murder me first.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> veronica has neko atsume on her phone and its all martha's fault for introducing her. also dont expect me to churn out two chapters every day, i was still inspired from earlier soooo. yeah.

Did kissing Heather Chandler make her gay? The way her lips had felt against her own had stuck with her, long after school had ended and they had spent some time together with the other Heathers at the mall. She had tried relentlessly since they had kissed to try and get Heather alone, to ask her about it, to talk to her, but no matter how hard she had tried… She just couldn't seem to get her by herself. Perhaps it was how Heather wanted it. Was it that she didn't want to talk about the kiss? Did she regret it? Maybe that was it, Heather regretted kissing her, and it was all her fault.

Laying back in her bed, her hair framed around her on her pillow, Veronica couldn't help but feel the balloon swelling back up in her chest the longer she thought about Heather's lips against her own. The longer she thought about it, the harder it got to breathe. The balloon felt like it was pressing against her lungs, against her ribs, and against her heart. Slowly expanding, filling with air, and bordering on pushing her over a cliff that she didn't know what was at the bottom of. She had a feeling that if she didn't calm down, then she'd end up throwing herself into a panic attack. God, that was the last thing she wanted. She just wanted to figure this out.

What if she was gay? Gay for Heather Chandler, of all the girls to pick from? The almighty bitch would tear her apart if she knew. She could see it now, laughing in her face the moment the words left her mouth. Proclaiming it to the school. She would even stand up on a cafeteria table during lunch, her hands cupped around her mouth as she yelled for everyone to listen up. Veronica Sawyer was a lesbian and had kissed her. What a laughing stock she would be. They'd tear her apart for kissing Heather Chandler.

But she hadn't kissed Heather. Heather had kissed her. Heather had kissed her, wiped the lipstick off her lips, and had her clean it off her thumb. But… She hadn't protested any of it. She had let her. She hadn't kissed her back, there hadn't been enough time for that, but she had sucked on her thumb, licked it all off, and made Heather… Was it a moan? Would that be the right way to describe it? A surprised moan? Thinking back on it, it very well could have been.

She had made the demon queen of highschool moan. How many people could even say that?

The thought made the balloon grow, pushing against her chest, and she sat up, trying to force the thoughts down. She had to think of something else, besides the kiss, but it consumed her thoughts. It was like something had been awakened inside of her, clawing at the back of her brain and making her think of only it. Because of that kiss, she couldn't stop wondering if she was gay, and because she couldn't stop thinking about being gay, she couldn't stop thinking about that kiss. It a vicious cycle that she desperately wanted to end, but didn't know how.

Maybe she could… Research it? Would there even be anything if she did? Online was her best bet, but what was she even going to type into the search bar? How to know if you're a lesbian for your best friend/worst enemy because she kissed you? Well, no. That was too much. Maybe just the first part would be good. How to know if you're a lesbian. Hah. It kind of sounded like a wikihow article, when she thought about it, and she could almost see the horrible drawings they would have to go along with the step by step way of diagnosing that you were indeed a lesbian. It humoured her enough to get her moving, anyways.

She sat up and searched around her room for where she had tossed her backpack when she had came in, and found it in her computer chair. It was quickly snatched up and she searched through it, digging out her diary while she was at it. She had wrote a short entry earlier in the day, just after school and before she had climbed in Heather Duke's Jeep with the Heathers, but that didn't mean she couldn't update it more after a quick research session.

Pulling her phone out from the piles of trash she had tossed uselessly into her bag, she felt triumph flood her, and quietly celebrated in her victory. Her bag really needed cleaned out, but she'd do that later. Maybe. If she remembered, anyways. Kicking her bag to the floor, she scrambled back up to the headboard, propping herself up as she unlocked her phone. She found her fingers hesitating over the browser app, her bottom lip tugged between teeth. It didn't take long for the slight taste of blood to touch against her tongue and she gnawed at the edge of the new wound.

Or… She could text Heather instead. Could ask her about the kiss. If she regretted it, if she had really meant to, or if it was supposed to be a dumb joke and she was the punchline. Instead of doing a dumb google search, she could actually talk to Heather, could see what the kiss was about… No! The thought alone had her almost hyperventilating, and she quickly hit the button for the browser to open, ignoring the burning in her chest. If she ignored it, it would eventually go away, right? It had to.

Without much thought, she went to google and typed into the little search bar, 'how to know if youre gay'. The results popped up, correcting her poor grammar, and she chose to ignore it. It took a lot of effort to string together the perfect soliloquy when it came to it, and she was allowed to slack on her grammar when she wanted to. Especially in the privacy of her own google searches. Fuck you google. Her grammar was fine. Clicking on the first link she saw without reading it, she was surprised when it came up to be, indeed, a wikihow article. With steps. And pictures.

A sigh escaped her as she went back, trying again for another link that wasn't so cringey. Most of the links appeared to be quizzes from popular newsites or social media outlets, so those were instantly ruled out. Youtube was instantly ruled out as well, but before long, she finally found a link that seemed promising and clicked it, settling in to read. Hopefully it wasn't too bad, but it couldn't be much worse than wikihow. Fingers crossed, anyways.

It seemed like hours past as she read over everything the internet had to offer about sexualities. It was a lot to take in all it once, and she was still struggling to understand what exactly she was when her phone buzzed, notifying her that she had a text message. She considered ignoring it. After all, she was still borderline panic attack, and if she stopped reading now, then she might loose track of where she was in the article she was reading. If she didn't though, there was a chance it would be one of the Heathers, and she'd have to face their wrath later… With a sigh, she closed the article and opened the text, seeing that it was from none other than Heather Chandler herself.

 

 **Demon Queen:** did u finish ur math hw i need 2 copy

 

Another sigh escaped her and she looked over the text. Of course Heather would ask to copy her math homework. Of course. She wouldn't dare broach the subject that had been gnawing Veronica alive like a piranha she had swallowed whole. No. It was about copying her homework. Well. At least she wasn't making her copy down the answers on a separate sheet in Heather's hand writing again, though at this point, she was starting to think that doing her own homework and Heather's at the same time would just be easier than waiting for her to ask for it. At least this way she had a foot in the door though.

 

 **Veronica Sawyer:** yeah ive got it done. do you want a pic or do you want me to give it to you tomorrow at school

 

There. That wasn't so bad. It didn't show she was flustered, didn't show she was still thinking about their kiss. It was good. All good. Things couldn't be much more good- er, better, she mentally corrected herself. Things couldn't have been better. Wow. Heather had her flustered enough by just asking for her homework that her grammar was failing her, and she wasn't even talking out loud. Or, maybe she was. She had a bad habit of thinking aloud sometimes, which always ended disastrously for her when she did. It was a bad habit she was trying to kick.

She waited for a few moments and focused instead on opening up one of the few games she had on her phone, though it wasn't really a game. It was an app to feed cats that visited and leave out toys for them to play with, so they would give you money for more food and toys. It was kind of a dumb game, but she only had one more cat until she had taken pictures of them all, and she was excited. Who wouldn't be? Sadly, the last cat wasn't there, though the outside bowl of food was empty. She refilled it and quietly cursed Tubbs, before another text came through and snapped her attention back to the issue at hand. However, the text was just one word, a simple response.

 

 **Demon Queen:** pic

 

Easy enough. She dug the notebook out of backpack and found the right assignment before snapping a picture. She made sure it was legible before sending it to Heather, and the response was almost instantaneous. Before she even got a chance to read the message, however, another one was sent in rapid succession, as if Heather had been waiting on her to respond this time. Shit. The thought alone made her more nervous than she was willing to admit.

 

 **Demon Queen:** thank u

 **Demon Queen:** we need 2 tlk abt earlier

 

Shit. Shit! Heather was talking about the kiss. She had to be. There was nothing else that she had done with just Heather during the day, and if she needed to address something they had all done, she would have probably used their group chat on skype or that new group chat app. She really wasn't looking forward to having this conversation, her head still reeling from everything she had read. She still wasn't sure what she was, and she wasn't ready to have this talk. Not now. But she knew that if she didn't answer, then Heather would call, and she couldn't face her. Not like that. Not now.

But if not now, when? When would there be a better time? At least now if they got it out of the way, then she wouldn't have to think about it anymore. She could actually focus on other things, could focus on the homework she hadn't done in class. She had to have this talk with Heather, and she couldn't ignore it. She could image her grabbing her chin tomorrow if she tried, jerking her around, and yelling in her face. No one ignored Heather Chandler, and especially not someone she had rose up to the top of the social ladder and given everything she had ever wanted when it came to popularity. She had to answer her.

 

 **Veronica Sawyer:** what are you talking about. earlier when you kissed me and I sucked on your thumb and you moaned? hahaha i had totally forgot about that. i wasnt thinking about it just now or anything. no. i was just. doing homework. yeah.

 

That… Could have gone better. A _lot_ better. God damn, she had really fucked up with that message, but she didn't know what to say! What was the right thing to say? She felt like she was going to cry, to scream, to throw up. She couldn't breathe. Everything seemed to spin and she tossed her phone down to the edge of her bed. No, no, she couldn't deal with this right now. She couldn't. It was a mistake answering her text. A horrible mistake.

Grabbing onto the nearest pillow and burying her face into it, Veronica ignored her phone as it buzzed. Then buzzed again. And again. She wasn't going to answer her, she couldn't. Couldn't even bring herself to read the messages. Tears pricked her eyes as she thought about how Heather was going to shut her down, was going to drag her through hell, and she bit down on her lip, feeling as if the world was collapsing on top of her. Everything was tight and small and surely everyone hated her. Martha had to hate her, because she had abandoned her to be popular. The Heathers had to hate her for suddenly joining in the friendship they had together for years. Everyone in the school had to hate her for climbing up the social ladder so easily.

So distracted by her crushing thoughts as she was, she didn't notice her phone's buzzing change as Heather called her phone. She simply kicked it from the bed, trying to catch her breath. It was like the world was on her chest, pushing down, and no matter how much she tried to breathe, it wasn't enough. Tears streamed her cheeks and she let out a muffled sob once she realised what was going on. A panic attack. The same one she'd been fighting all night. It had hit her, and hit her hard. She found herself sobbing into the pillow as she tried to breathe and collect herself, knowing from just the panic attack alone that it was going to be a long night.

 

 

_Dear Diary,_

_I just had a panic attack. Over Heather. I haven't had one of those in a while so it was… yeah, no, it was just as horrible as I remembered. I can't even bring myself to look at all the texts Heather sent me or listen to her voicemails. I'll tell her I forgot to tomorrow, if she doesn't murder me first._


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Veronica refuses to read Heather's text messages, and Heather makes sure she can't avoid her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> macaroni cloud - heather m  
> queen bee - heather c  
> Shut Up Heather/The Best Heather - heather d  
> im dying squirtle - veronica
> 
> if its confusing as to whos saying what, let me know, and ill try to edit it make it more understandable. same with misspellings, this chapter kind of broke my autocorrect because of heather chandler's text speak.

Veronica hardly slept a wink that night. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't stop thinking about the kiss. About Heather. About how she was going to murder her, about how her lips had felt, about the little noise she had made. Just that one kiss, that one noise, had given her enough material to ride her shower nozzle when she had retreated into the shower in an attempt to take her mind off of it. She had felt horibble about it afterwards though. It had been what eventually knocked her out, but it had made her stomach all weird the morning after. Like something was trying to claw it's way out of her, or eat her alive. It couldn't seem to decide which though.

Though the thing in her stomach hadn't quite decided, she had already decided that she didn't like the feeling. It made her nauseous, and her head felt like it was swimming. Though that very well could have been from her lack of sleep. With her stomach gnawing at her anxiously, she couldn't eat, not with the way it seemed to twist it the idea of food. She tried her hardest to push it down. She had to get through today, even if it meant Heather was going to murder her for ignoring her.

Though she had only woken up about an hour ago, it seemed an eternity ago. Every little thing she did, from brushing her hair, to carefully applying her makeup, seemed to take forever. Like she was never going to finish getting dressed. When she did finish, it would mean it was time to go to school, time to face the Heathers. Time to climb into Heather's jeep, and face them all. If Heather had told Heather and Heather what had happened…

She stomped on the thought. No. She would deal with that when it happened. If it happened. Flopping back onto her bed, she stared at where her phone sat on her nightstand. She didn't want to read the messages that Heather had sent her, knowing there was at least four of them, and didn't want to listen to her voicemails. It would only make the twisting monster in her gut worse, to open them. Then she would know how pissed Heather was at her. One of those texts probably details exactly how she was going to be torn apart too. After a moment, she sighed and grabbed her phone, unlocking it.

There was a little notification, telling her she had four unread messages, and three missed calls. But only one voicemail. She ignored them all, going instead to check their group chat. She had to see if Heather had said anything to the other two. She couldn't imagine how they would murder her if she did. Oh god. Maybe they were hoping she wouldn't read the group chat, that she'd be blindsided by it once she got in the jeep, that they would have the upper hand… No. She wasn't going to let them have that. Fuck no.

She tapped open the group chat, being assaulted by recent messages that showed they had actually been talking in it this morning. Just that thought alone had that damn balloon swelling again, but she tried to focus on something else. Focus on reading the messages, for now at least. Her eyes browsed over the messages carefully, scanning them and quirking a brow as she read what she had missed that morning.

 

**#squad**

>4 participants

_Today_

****queen bee:** **

chng of plans 4 2day

im pickin roni up

nd heather is gonna b w/ heather in the jeep

****Shut Up Heather:** **

Don’t I get a say in who rides with me?

****macaroni cloud:** **

AWWWW really heather??? :(i thought we were all gonna ride together today!! D: D: D:

****queen bee:** **

no 2 u both

need 2 copy ronis math hw b4 school so gotta b early

mayb tmrw

****macaroni cloud:** **

BUT TOMORROWS SATURDAY!!! DX T-T

****queen bee:** **

well go 2 mall or smtg idfk

talk abt it @ school ig

****Shut Up Heather:** **

What about going to that new scary movie that came out? Rings?

****macaroni cloud:** **

NO!!!!! NO SCARY MOVIES!!!!!! i couldnt sleep for a week last time!!!!!! T-T /)x(\ T-T

****Shut Up Heather:** **

That sounds like a you problem more than a me problem.

****queen bee:** **

stfu heather

****Shut Up Heather:** **

Sorry Heather…

 

Math homework? Hadn't that been what Heather had copied last night? Did that mean… She was lying to the other two Heathers? She didn't want them to know. She was hiding that she was mad at Veronica. What did that even mean? Trying to squash the developing panic attack before it hit, she tried to focus on the chat. She should say something, but all she could focus on was the fact Heather Duke's name was still Shut Up Heather. Why? Heather Chandler had changed it over a month ago when Heather Duke had left her phone alone when she went to the bathroom, but she would have expected her to have changed it by now. She decided, well, there was nothing wrong with asking.

 

**im dying squirtle:**

wait heather is your name seriously still shut up heather.

its been like, a month since heather changed it.

 

She wasn't expecting an instant response, but that's exactly what she got. Shit. She should have checked the timestamps before responding to the chat, now they were going to know she had seen their messages. Well. At least they weren't plotting against her. She just… Had to ride to school alone with Heather. Alone. With Heather. Ugh. She tried not to think about it, knowing it wouldn't be too long before Heather left her house anyways, so she tried to focus on the group chat. At least that would take her mind off things.

 

****Shut Up Heather:** **

Heather won’t tell me how she changed it so I can change it back.

****queen bee:** **

bc its perf and your not allod

****macaroni cloud:** **

why not look it up…? :?

****queen bee:** **

heather!!! no!

yyyyy i wntd 2 c how long b4 she made new 1

****Shut Up Heather:** **

I didn’t think of that… Thanks Heather!

****macaroni cloud:** **

sorry heather!!!!!! :x :x :x

****im dying squirtle:** **

i would like to point out the typo that you both ignored before we get too far past it here.

heather said allod

****macaroni cloud:** **

allod???

****The Best Heather:** **

Allod.

****im dying squirtle** ** **:**

heather is definitely not allod

****The Best Heather:** **

She did even say your. Who is Allod, Heather?

****macaroni cloud:** **

YEAH!!! whos allod heather?

****queen bee:** **

stfu all u

**The Best Heather:**

Not just me this time? I don't feel as special anymore.

**macaroni cloud:**

you dont mean that do you? :'( :'(

****im dying squirtle:** **

aww! it’s okay heather we still love you even for all your typos

heather is just being bitchy guys you know that

also heather wow, way to be conceited as fuck there with your new name.

****queen bee:** **

u btr chng it heather

we all kno im te best

****macaroni cloud:** **

and im the second best!!! right? :D :D :D :D :D

****queen bee:** **

yes ofc

****im dying squirtle:** **

id definitely say Heather is the best Heather…

****queen bee:** **

u btr b talkin abt me

****The Best Heather:** **

Maybe she means me.

****macaroni cloud:** **

it could be me…? maybe??????? :D

****im dying squirtle:** **

0:)

****queen bee:** **

roni u btr not b doin what i think u r

****macaroni cloud:** **

i think veronica is saying its obviously me who is the best heather!!! i mean i AM an angel...

****The Best Heather:** **

Like hell you are!

 

An ugly laugh escaped her as she watched the three bicker about who was the best, relaxing back on her bed. She had a feeling that Heather Chandler understood what she had done, but she wasn't about to go back and edit anything. Instead, she was content to watch them argue. Well, mostly Duke and McNamara. Heather had gone dark after her last message, and she had a feeling that it wouldn't be too much longer before she arrived. Before she had to deal with the repercussions of the last text she had sent.

Trying not to think about Heather at the moment, Veronica did her best to focus on something else. Anything else. Anything but Heather and their kiss. It took a moment to force the thoughts from her head, pushing them down so other ideas could surface, and she found herself thinking back to what had she had spent hours thinking about the day before.

Was she gay? Truly? She couldn't say that she had never thought about kissing a boy, about spending the rest of her life married to a man. She had crushes on male celebrities before, had thought about them while… Doing things. She thought Ram and Kurt were hot, even if they were complete assholes. But. She couldn't say she had never thought about kissing a girl before. Spending the rest of her life with them too, even. She had always thought that it was just how everyone thought, that it was normal. That those feelings had just meant that she really cared for that girl.

Thinking on it now, she realised what they really were. She had crushes on those girls. Had thought about kissing them just as much as kissing the boys. Why had it taken so long for her to realise? Had she really been pushing those thoughts down for this long? Had Heather kissing her really brought such a revelation to her life? So she wasn't straight, but… She wasn't gay either. Right? It made her head hurt to keep thinking about it. Was there a term for that? It felt like it was just on the tip of her tongue, lingering like a bad aftertaste she couldn't get rid of.

There had to be a word for it, and she just couldn't remember it. Of course. It was always like that. Every time she tried to think of the word she really wanted to use for the situation, it vanished. It was her luck. The definition stuck and buzzed and she scrambled to grab up her phone, about to start searching more on the subject in hopes of finding the word, when her phone buzzed. Her breath caught in her throat and she just about threw in it shock, before realising what it was. A text. From Heather. Oh god. She had to be here then. Waiting. With a groan, she grabbed her backpack and slung it over her shoulder, not reading the message. It would just open the rest of them up, after all, and she couldn't deal with that right now.

Dreading every step of the way, she dragged herself down the stairs, finding her feet sluggish and all of the energy she had from bothering the Heathers drained out of her. Before she even reached the bottom, there was a heavy knock at the door, impatient and annoyed. Heather had gotten out of her car. Oh fuck. She was really gonna pay for this. It took every fiber of her being not to run back upstairs and cower under her blankets until Heather went away, and all of her strength to go to the door, knowing who was on the other side. She took a moment to take a deep breath as she unlocked the front door, before jerking it open, her eyes squeezed shut.

“Hey, Heather...” Veronica started, weakly trailing off. She didn't know what to say. What could she say? Her eyes were still shut, she wasn't even looking at her face, and here she was, practically shaking. Maybe the memory of last night's shower was still too fresh, too recent, but she knew she had to do something. Had to… Say something more. Had to open her eyes. So, reluctantly, she did just that.

Heather stood before her, as amazing as ever. It seemed like her makeup was professionally done, perfect, and so much more beautiful than usual. Was it really though? Or was she just noticing it for the first time? Her lips were a beautiful cherry red, bright and wonderful, and Veronica wanted nothing more than to kiss them again. After a moment of staring up at her, staring at her lips, she looked into Heather's eyes, instantly finding herself lost in the murky pits. It took until Heather sneered for her to realise she hadn't said a word yet.

Oh god. What punishment awaited her? Was Heather going to string her up now? Slaughter her? She could practically slay with her looks as it was, and it wouldn't take too much for Veronica to be bowed over, to be on her knees and begging for Heather's forgiveness for ignoring her texts and calls. To beg her to kiss her again too, but that was a smaller part of her, the part that wasn't worried about repercussions from her insubordination. She tried her best to squash that part down, but focusing on it at least made her chest feel loose. Thinking about Heather's silence was just making her balloon swell and her stomach twist. Almost as if she was going to throw up, or have a panic attack. Or both.

Just as it got to be too much, Heather scoffed and turned away from the door, sauntering back towards her car. It was parked almost haphazardly by the road, as if Heather had been distracted when she had parked, and thinking so made Veronica nervous for another reason entirely. If Heather was really distracted, was it a good idea to get in the car with her? She had to though, the bus had already drove by and she had no other way to school, besides walking, and scorning Heather twice in twenty four hours was a death wish. She was almost certain that if she tried to start walking, then Heather would run her over with her car.

“Come on, Veronica. We have to get to school,” Heather snapped a moment later, not turning to make sure she was following, and Veronica gulped. She was going to be alone with Heather, in her car, for the rest of the ride to school and however long it took the other two to show up. Shit. She wasn't ready for this, she really wasn't, but she had no choice. With a resigned sigh, she followed after Heather, knowing that this car ride could very well be the death of her.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dear Diary,  
> I rode with Heather to school today, and I had another panic attack. She was yelling at me and I don't know what happened. I freaked I guess. Normally I'm pretty good at keeping these things under control, and it just… Slipped today, I guess. But she apologised- kinda? Never actually said sorry or I apologise- and well. I think I'm really starting to like the colour purple...

The car was quiet. Obnoxiously quiet, really. Suffocating and pushing and snapping at her, threatening to swallow her whole. Damn it. Veronica hated being like this. Panicky, flighty, and all around freaked out. It was stupid and she knew it, but she couldn’t stop herself from getting like this. She always got like this when she was really stressed. Sometimes, she could push the panic attacks off, could hide them well enough when she started crying and passing it off as just that, but people that knew her well enough… Who was she kidding? There wasn’t really people. There was mainly just Martha.

Her parents didn’t know about the panic attacks, because she didn’t tell them. There was no point. All they would do was drag her off to a doctor to get diagonosed and she didn’t want that, didn’t need that. She was coping fine. As long as the stress stayed to a minimum, as long as she didn’t focus on things, she was fine. They’d never know, if she could help it. The only reason Martha even knew was because they had been friends for as long as she could remember, as long as both of them could remember, and Martha had comforted her through quite a few.

She missed Martha. Martha would have helped her out last night, she would have let Veronica come over, had held her through her panic attack. Had kept her from having it, most likely. She always seemed to do that. When she saw her floundering, she had stroked her hair, reminded her that she had cared, had put on movies to distract her… God, she wished she could still hang out Martha without Heather crucifying her.

Speaking of Heather… She spared a glance at her, watching her drive. Heather’s face was twisted into one of concentration, her lips pursed and her brows furrowed. She was thinking hard on something. Veronica had seen her make that face before, when they were taking a test in pre-calc and she had refused to let Heather cheat. She had been concentrating hard on the question, cute little wrinkles forming around her eyes and on her forehead as she tried hard to figure it out, and damn it, it was just as cute now as it was then. Why did Heather have to be so… Adorable?

Wait. Since when had she thought Heather was adorable? Sure, she thought she was hot- she thought all the Heathers were hot, if she was honest with herself, but had never really thought of them as adorable. They were stone cold killers, ready to murder someone’s reputation because they scuffed their shoe. Solid Teflon, never bothered. Not really adorable. But, the longer she stared at Heather, the longer she watched her concentrated expression as she drove, not a word passing through her lips, the more it hit her. Heather was adorable. Smart as could be, sharp as whip, the queen of sass, and… A complete bitch. Despite the fear she felt in her heart, she knew that there was fondness there too. Maybe even a crush, if she was being honest with herself. She tried not to think too much on that, not wanting to delve into that topic. It was a topic for a later date, after they had arrived at school and were no longer trapped in the car together.

“You ignored me last night,” Heather said eventually, startling her from her brief zone out. It wasn’t a question, but a statement. A fact. And it was true. She could feel it burrowing into her bones, true as the fact that the sun rose in and set each day. She had ignored Heather last night, and Heather was pissed because of it. Even though her tone was neutral, was almost kind of quiet in a way, Veronica knew what it meant. Knew that she was dead. To hear her speak next, her tone sharp and to the point, sent chills down her spine. “Why?”

“Sorry… I just… I panicked. I freaked out after sending that last message and I…” she trailed off lamely, knowing she couldn’t admit weakness to Heather. She couldn’t admit she had a panic attack. She couldn’t. What would she even say if she did? Her panic attacks were personal, were private. Not something to share at the drop of the hat because she was scared of being eaten alive. However, as her silence continued, it grew obvious that wasn’t enough for Heather. Her obnoxiously bright red nails thrummed against the steering wheel, on edge as she waited for further explanation that never came.

“And? You panicked? That’s why you ignored me? That’s why you didn’t answer my calls or my texts or even fucking read them? You’ve got those damn read receipts on so I know you didn’t even look to see what I had to say,” Heather snapped, turning to look at her with a sneer that shook her to her core, before jerking to look back towards the road. Her nails, a little over an inch long, thrummed and tapped at the steering wheel cover, her jaw clenched. Heather was pissed. And it was all her fault. She had pissed Heather off and now had to face the brunt of her actions because of it. Heather seemed practically hysterical, her voice wavering and almost, but not quite, breaking. Fuck. She was so pissed her voice was breaking. Veronica had really messed up this time and could feel her breathing getting shorter just thinking about it. “Not to mention calling me bitchy in the group chat earlier. Don’t think I forgot about that.”

“I was just… Just playing, Heather. I was calling you that cause you told us all to shut up after we made fun of your typo. I don’t actually think you’re bitchy, at least not… Not most of the time. To me. Most of the time, you’re pretty cool, when it comes to me. Not really to anyone else, but… That’s okay. And I didn’t read them because… Of some personal reasons…” Heather’s laugh was sharp and barking, and it made her stomach sink. She didn’t want to admit to Heather why she hadn’t responded or even read the texts. The thought alone was grasping at her chest and squeezing, harder and harder with each passing moment, as if her chest was going to collapse. Fuck. Not now. She couldn’t have a panic attack now. This was the worst moment to have a panic attack.

“‘Personal reasons’,” Heather mocked, her voice a poor imitation of Veronica’s, before she scowled, gripping the steering wheel tight. “Personal reasons my ass. You’re not _allowed_ to ignore me, Sawyer. Not for shitty personal reasons you can’t even tell me. What, did you get your period? Did your cat die? Martha Dumptruck message you and you were so embarrassed you ignored all messages? Tell me now and I might decide to make your death painless.”

“I can’t,” she squeaked out, just barely pushing the air through her lungs enough to even say that. Anything else was beyond her range of speaking right then. Being on the receiving end of Heather’s anger was pushing her to her limit, especially with their kiss still so fresh in her mind. With last night’s panic attack so pressing. With the hand gripping her chest and squeezing and squeezing until it hurt. She couldn’t even begin to explain everything to Heather, not now. Not when her throat was closing and everything felt distant and weak and she just wanted to fucking breathe.

“Can’t fucking tell me? Did you go take a shower and ride your nozzle so hard you passed out? That’s the only thing I can think of that would keep you from-,” Heather cut herself off as she jerked to look at Veronica, who had finally taken to clutching her head in both hands as she gasped and shook, trying to get just one good breath in. It wasn’t even a beat that passed before Heather’s anger seemed to melt, her tone softening. “Jesus fucking Christ on a bike, are you okay? You’re… You sound like you’re dying. What’s wrong? Are you… Are you hyperventilating? Fuck. You _are_. I don’t have Heather’s emergency brown bag with me today, or Heather’s inhaler… Don’t fucking die. I’m gonna pull over. Just… Don’t fucking die before I get to punish you.”

Don’t die. She could try to not do that, hands tangling in her hair. She was already fighting hard against the edge of crying, knowing it would ruin her makeup, and she didn’t have it with her to reapply. Heather would crucify her if she found out. She was already on the track to being crucified anyways, so that thought didn’t alarm her as much as it would have normally. She barely felt the car slow, barely felt it park, trying so hard to breathe as she was. Each breath was a shaky little gasp that clawed at her lungs and left her more desperate for air than the last. God, she just had to break down in front of Heather, didn’t she? Beautiful and smart Heather. Heather, the one who was already planning her death. Heather, the one who had kissed her. Heather, the one who was letting out these distressed noises as she grabbed at Veronica’s hands and tugged them from her hair, careful and gentle.

Veronica didn’t know she could be gentle. But, she had a feeling there was a lot about Heather that she didn’t know. A few sides of her she had never seen before, and it was unlikely many had. Carefully, she let go of her hair thanks to Heather’s gentle grip on her wrists tugging her hands away, and lifted her eyes to carefully meet Heather’s own, tears shimmering and threatening to spill as she saw the worry in them reflecting back at her. Though she was sure she looked a mess, at least Heather was focused on her. Just her. Nothing else. No one else had rarely seen compassionate look on her face directed at them. Just her.

“Hey… Don’t do that. You’ll pull your hair out, and you don’t want that. Hell, I don’t want that. Just focus on me for now, okay? I’m here,” she said softly, her tone gentle and wonderfully calm. She gave a short and jerky nod before she wrapped her arms around Heather’s shoulders, squeezing her tight as she buried her face against her shoulder. Heather was there to ground her through the waves of panic roaring over her, and while she regretted breaking in front of her, this… This was nice. Having someone comfort her was something she had lost with Martha, and though Heather was stiff, her hands hovering at Veronica’s side and not quite touching her, it was more than she had the night before. Though she felt tears slipping free from her eyes and staining Heather’s blazer, she couldn’t care less about that at the moment, not when Heather’s arms finally wrapped around her and held her tight. She was just focused on the rock that was Heather Chandler in the storm of her panicked mind.

“Keep breathing. You’re okay. Everything’s okay. Focus on me. I’m right here and you’re not going anywhere. I don’t… I don’t know what you need to hear, just what Heather does when she gets like this, so I’m probably being a complete fuckhead right now. Shit. Was… Was this the personal reason you didn’t respond? I made you hyperventilate, didn’t I? A… A panic attack. That’s what this is, isn’t it? Holy fuck. It has to be. God, Veronica, you should have _told me_. Fuck. I feel like a real ass. I’m not the best Heather. I’m the worst Heather. I made you have two panic attacks in a day’s time because I wanted to talk about that dumb fucking kiss. I shouldn’t have kissed you. It was just… I wanted to be your first. K-kiss, I mean! I wanted to be your first kiss. Mine was just some dumb highschool senior when I was in ninth grade, I didn’t even know his name. And, and… And I wanted yours to be special. Please, fuck… Focus on me.”

Heather’s voice was enough to anchor Veronica, even if she was rambling a bit. It was enough to keep her floating in the see of endless crashing waves. It was… Calming, to hear her, so weak and trying so hard to calm her down. She didn’t know Heather cared so much. Not about her. Heather cared about her. About her first kiss. Fuck. That was still a thing they really needed to talk about, but she couldn’t do it now. Not after crying on her blazer and having a panic attack. They could face it later, maybe. If she had the choice, they’d never face it, because trying to was nerve wracking, but that was unrealistic. They had to face it. Eventually. For now, she could simply enjoy Heather’s embrace.

“Shit. Fuck. I shouldn’t have made you ride with me. Christ on a cracker, I should have just stuck with the plan. Ride with Heather and Heather and you. This wouldn’t have happened, or if it did, then… Then Heather would have known what to do. Heather probably would have called me a cunt but even would be better at this than me. I’m a horrible Heather. Like, fuck. Heather has been having panic attacks since like, fifth grade, I should know how to deal with them by now, but here I am. Floundering like someone decided to give me a list to why red was a shitty colour and I can’t even like, properly form a coherent sentence long enough to tell them to go fuck themselves. Shit. This doesn’t make any sense, does it? All of my composure is gone, out the god damn window. I’m really trying. I’m the worst Heather, God. Literally any of the others would have been better at this.”

She couldn’t help but sigh as she relaxed against Heather, slowly raising her head up to look at her. Heather was looking to the back seat, squeezing her close, and the worried look she wore was adorable. During her entire tyrade, Veronica had slowly calmed down, her breathing getting back to normal as she listened to Heather try her best to calm her down. Though she was a little breathless, she could breathe now.

“You’re… You’re wrong,” she mumbled a moment later, and Heather squeezed her tight, looking down at her. Their eyes met for a moment and Veronica felt her heart melt, before Heather quirked a warning brow. Even if she was awkwardly holding Veronica between the seats, she still didn’t appreciate being told she was wrong, and Veronica could tell just by her expression. She took a moment to simply breathe, nice and slow, before deciding to explain what she had meant. “You’re not the worst Heather. You’re the best Heather. I… I mean that. Like, last night… I thought you were going to be mad. That you regretted kissing me and hated me because of it. So I… I freaked out. I had a panic attack and just looking at all of your messages made me anxious, like it was gonna happen again. That’s why I didn’t respond. I was scared that you were going to out me to Heather and Heather and that you guys were all going to jump me when I got in her Jeep.”

There was a moment of silence as Heather stared down at her, and it made her stomach twist and clench. She started to pull away, ready to mumble an apology as she cast her eyes downward. However, Heather was having none of it. She grabbed her chin, tilting it back up, but Veronica refused to meet her eyes. She couldn’t bring herself to, for fear of rejection or that warning sign in her eyes again. Again, Heather was having none of it, clearing her throat.

“Veronica. Look at me.” Her tone was calm and stern, but not mean. Commanding, yes, but not meant to force her if she absolutely refused. She couldn’t deny her though, swallowing the lump in her throat as she looked Heather in the eye. Her own eyes felt misty and Heather’s were the same dark and broody they always were, but there was something else there under the surface. Something warm she hadn’t seen before. Neither of them said anything as Heather leaned closer, her grip on her chin weak enough to let her pull away. Just before their lips met, Heather paused, biting her lip nervously. “Is… Is this okay?”

A breathless laugh escaped her and she nodded, slow and careful. It was nice to have Heather ask, even if she wanted her to just shut up and kiss her. It made her realise that maybe her panic attack had scared her, had made her realise Veronica was more than a pawn to push around and twist to fit her needs. The thought made her heart swell and before Heather could lean in the rest of the way, she jerked up and met her lips.

The surprised noise that Heather made was worth it all. But before she could really revel in it, Heather nipped at her lips, her hands bawling up in Veronica’s shirt. She pressed as close to her as she could with the seat belt in the way, pulling Veronica as close as possible. Her own surprised squeak escaped her, and it reminded her of when Ms. Fleming had hit her with the bathroom door the day they had first met. Heather hadn’t even noticed she was there until then, but fuck, that had changed everything. Just like now. Between them, everything had changed since Heather had kissed her the first time, and this kiss wasn’t going to be any different. She did her best to reciprocate, her attempts clumsy and awkward, before Heather pulled back with a breathless laugh that stole her own away.

“God… Veronica… As much as I’d love to smear our lipsticks to make them some hideous shade of purple, we should… Really get to school. Fuck, I want to kiss you again, but Heather and Heather are going to wonder where we are if we don’t get there soon,” Heather breathed, her cheeks a wonderful bright blush that made Veronica’s heart beat funny. All she could do was nod, a jerky little twitch of one anyways, before Heather pulled back and let her go. She watched her straighten her clothes, pat at her hair, before focusing on the road before them as she pulled back onto it.

All the while, Veronica stared at her lips, barely even recognising what she was doing. Just as Heather had said, her lips were a weird shade of almost purple but mostly red, smudges of blue pressed amongst them all. She decided, as she looked back towards the window and felt over her own lips, she wasn’t going to say anything. Not until they got to the school at least. This moment stayed as long as her lipstick remained smudged, and Veronica wanted it to last as long as possible.

 

_Dear Diary,_

_I rode with Heather to school today, and I had another panic attack. She was yelling at me and I don't know what happened. I freaked. Normally I'm pretty good at keeping these things under control, and it just… Slipped today, I guess. But she apologised- kinda? Never actually said sorry or I apologise- and well. I think I'm really starting to like the colour purple..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter is actually gonna have the other heathers in it i swear. and normally I try to update tags per chapter but I'm not sure what to add to this one? if anyone has anything they know it needs, lemme know, pls.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dear Diary,  
> I am totally fucked.

The rest of the ride was almost as quiet as it had been at the beginning. The main difference between the two silences, however, was the lack of hostility. It was a comfortable silence, warm and wrapping around her carefully and smothering the panic she had been feeling. While before Veronica had been scared for her life and what Heather was going to do to her, now was different. Heather was relaxed and almost wore a smile, though her lips were still speckled blue and purple amongst her normal red. It was a nice colour on her, Veronica had to admit.

There was a lot about Heather she had to admit when she thought about her, though she would never say it out loud. That would only inflate her ego, and Heather’s head was big enough as it was without Veronica complimenting her because a little bit of purple looked nice on her. She could practically hear the gloating in her voice as she took in the compliment, could see her grin, and the thought of her grinning alone was almost worth knowing Heather would never let her live it down if she said it out loud.

Almost, but not quite. She decided she could write it in her diary instead.

After a messily scribbled and short diary entry that caused Heather to eye her cautiously, Veronica stared out the window and watched the town pass. She couldn’t believe how relaxed and quiet it was, in the car with Heather Chandler of all people. Though neither talked and no music played, it was still pleasant. It wasn't often that she got to enjoy silence like this with Heather, just her especially, as the other two were normally right beside her. This, sitting with her in the quiet of her care was nice, but she couldn't help thinking about their earlier kiss.

While their kiss hadn't answered the question of whether Veronica was gay or not- and only raised more on Heather’s sexuality- it did help calm her down, knowing that things were at least at ease between her and Heather. She was sure that, whatever she was, Heather wouldn’t ostracise her. Maybe the they could even… Date. The thought had alone had made her cheeks colour lightly and she wanted to smack her forehead. Heather probably wouldn’t date her, at least not publicly, and Veronica wasn’t even sure that it would work out if they did date. They had only known each other for a couple weeks now, and while she had been crushing on Heather since long before they’d been friends and she understood that it was a crush, that didn’t mean that they would work out. Still, the thought alone was nice. For now, she could at least allow herself to think of it. There was no harm in that, right?

She hoped so at least.

Veronica found she was almost asleep by the time they reached the school, still exhausted from the night before and her earlier panic attack. Her mind had wandered from thinking about dating Heather, to the wonderful feeling of her lips against her own, and it had relaxed her enough to allow her to doze, her head resting against the window. The peacefulness of it all had put her in a light daze. Her head was suddenly jerked forward when Heather came to an unexpected stop, almost slamming her forehead into the dashboard. The only thing that stopped her was her seatbelt. She let out a sharp gasp and put a hand on her chest in hopes of stilling her heart, looking to Heather and hating the grin she wore.

“God, Veronica, I wish I had my phone out so you could see your face. It’s so totally perfect,” she said, her tone twinkling in held back laughter that almost slipped free the longer Veronica glared at her, but all Veronica could think to do was glare. Damn it. She should have expected that. She really should have, but it still pissed her off, if only because Heather seemed to happy to have her so scared.

She decided then, she wasn’t going to tell Heather about her speckled lipstick after all. It would be her own petty attempt at revenge. Heather would find out later, whenever she looked at her reflection to check her makeup or someone said something to her about it, someone besides Veronica. She doubted it would be too long before Heather looked in the mirror, probably even before they left the car, knowing Heather as she did, but she could enjoy it while it lasted in her own petty revenge for scaring her back awake. Heather deserved it as far as she was concerned.

“You’re lucky I didn’t bust my head on the dashboard,” she huffed, her gaze cold and hard. She was more upset that Heather had done it than anything, but should have known something with coming, especially everything she pulled the night before. She had expected some retaliation for making Heather mad like she had, for ignoring her the night before, but really, she was hoping that things were better between them, that Heather had forgiven her for her panic attack, that things were fixed because of their kiss. Apparently not. They could work that out later. She hoped. Heather rolled her eyes, carefully parking the car in the same parking spot she always did, right next to Heather Duke’s jeep, with the other two were nowhere in sight.

“Oh, shut up. I made sure you had your seatbelt on,” Heather snapped as she turned the car off. Before she could do more than turn to look at Veronica and open her mouth to speak, there was a loud crash against the car door that startled them both and made their heads jerk around. If Veronica hadn’t been awake beforehand, she certainly was now, and shifted to look past Heather at her window, seeing Heather McNamara’s face pressed against it with a wide grin.

“There you guys are!” she squealed and Heather Chandler rolled her eyes, unlocking the doors so Heather would get off the glass. The door was quickly jerked open, and Veronica was almost worried Heather was going to rip the door off in her excitement. Her arms were wrapped around Heather Chandler's shoulders in moments, nuzzling into her neck and practically bouncing where she stood. “We were starting to get worried! What took you guys so long?”

“Sorry,” Heather Chandler hummed, putting a gentle hand over Heather McNamara's arm and leaning into her gentle grip. Veronica looked away to hide how jealous she was, knowing that it was stupid. She wasn't even dating Heather, and shouldn't have been jealous over Heather hugging her. “I decided to copy her homework before we left her house. That way, we wouldn't have to hide it from the teachers.” Well. Heather was a great liar, Veronica had to give her that. She certainly would have believed it. Heather McNamara's eyes crinkled slightly though, and she had to wonder if maybe Heather McNamara knew Heather Chandler better than she thought. There wasn't any time for either of them to say anything though, because Heather Chandler spared a quick glare around, then scowled. “Where's Heather?”

There was a quiet pause then that seemed like Heather McNamara was in thought and Veronica made sure her seatbelt was undone and her diary back in her bag before she slipped out of the car. As she shut the door, Heather spared a look around the car and stuck out her bottom lip in a way that made Veronica's heart flutter as much as Heather Chandler's smirk normally did. Shit. Was she crushing on Heather McNamara too? What had her life become?

“I'm not too sure. She was really quiet the whole ride here, but she always gets like that when you make her pick me up. I don't think she ever would if you didn't make her, ya know? I'd probably be stuck on the freaking bus again, or having to ride with Kurt or Ram… Wait, Heather, are you wearing some new lipstick? There's like… Purple and blue spots?”

That was her cue to leave, even though she wanted nothing more than to stick around the other two. She rushed away, not sticking around to hear Heather's response despite desperately wanting to more than anything else. It was easier that way, to get away while Heather McNamara had her distracted, even though she would have loved to hear the startled squawk she was sure was coming, or heard her attempt at a lie. She had to get away before Heather noticed the speckled red in her own blue, or before Heather Chandler bit her head off for letting this happen. She was sure it would happen later, but that would be later, after she had time to cool down and not be mad she didn't tell her.

Quickly and expertly dodging bodies as she navigated the halls, Veronica slipped to her locker, knowing that the Heathers would find her later when they wanted her. For now, she wanted time to put her book bag away and get ready for class before they dragged her off. Hopefully not to deal with what had happened in the car, but if it came to it later, then it came to it. She did have to wonder how Heather was going to get away with this one. Was she going to say it was a new lipstick? She wished she could have stuck around to see her reaction.

Would she have sputtered? Would she have blushed? Have blamed Veronica for kissing her? The possibilities were endless really, rushing through her mind like a tidal wave. She had wanted to stick around, to see Heather notice the colours on her lips, but she hadn't expected Heather to notice right away. Not that quickly. It was almost like Heather had been stared at Heather Chandler's lips enough to notice the small spots of lipstick that Veronica had left behind. Had she?

Her locker slammed shut as the thought crossed her mind, her bag slipping from her hand and landing on the ground. Well, fuck, good thing nothing valuable was in there. Her phone was at least tucked away in her bra for now. A quick glance up from the books that had spilled all over the floor and she found herself face to face with none other than Heather Duke, her hand on her locker as she glared at Veronica. Before Veronica could even summon up the courage to say a word, Heather spoke. “I know what happened outside the locker room yesterday.”

 

_Dear Diary,_

_I am totally fucked._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter didnt come as easily to me as the others did so... i apologise if its a little clunky. rip me.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dear Diary,  
> I am so fucked. Heather Duke saw me kissing Heather today, and led me into the janitor's closet to tell me more about it! Once we were in there, she kissed me! Can you believe it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thats the same diary entry from last time, im just slowly showing it all as the chapters get revealed. also two chapters in one day??????

Oh god. Oh god. Heather Duke knew. Heather Duke knew that Heather Chandler had kissed her yesterday, had cornered her about it, and had her alone. Oh god. She had to come up with something fast. A lie that Heather would be proud of. What could she say though? Nothing came to mind, not immediately, and she felt dumbstruck, staring at Heather with her mouth hanging slightly agape. Fuck. She had to say something, anything.

“I-I don't know what you're talking about,” Veronica sputtered as Heather Duke stared, a brow raised in disbelief. Shit. Shit. That was a horrible lie, she had even stuttered. She wasn't… What was she supposed to do? How did she even know? They had been alone, hadn't they? How had Heather seen them? Fuck, Heather Chandler obviously didn't know Heather knew, she couldn't have. Not with the way Heather Duke was acting. She had to be planning on using it as blackmail. That was it, wasn't it? She was going to blackmail Veronica into doing something dangerous or stupid. Probably something she could write about for the school yearbook, or leaving the school entirely. This couldn't have gotten much worse.

“Don't give me that crap, Veronica. I saw Heather kiss you, and I saw you suck on her thumb like the eager little slut you are. I have to say, I'm impressed you managed to hold your own so well, but that's not what's important right now,” Heather said simply, leaning against Veronica's locker and blocking her from getting anything she needed for class so she couldn't quite escape. She met Heather's eyes, finding them hard to stare into for too long, and fought the urge to look away as Heather gave her a smirk that made her stomach turn. It wasn't like Heather's smirk, that set her insides aflame. This one was dangerous, was meditated, and meant death if she took the wrong step. “I suggest you be honest with me now. Did you and Heather fuck this morning?”

“What!? No!” she shrieked, about to start protesting further, when a warm hand clamped over her mouth, effectively silencing her. What the fuck. What was up with Heather? Why did she even want to know if… No, she refused to think about it. She was having enough trouble with just thinking about Heather Chandler kissing her on the lips, let alone doing anything else, and Heather having the balls to ask… She felt her stomach forming in knots and could only glare at Heather, resisting the urge to lick her hand with every fibre of her being. That wouldn't help her situation at all, so she did her best to focus.

Why would Heather be doing this? Was she jealous of Veronica? Jealous of Heather? Just looking for a hot scoop? Surely there was other information in the school that would be more interesting and less risky than confronting Veronica at her locker because Heather had kissed her once- okay, twice, but Heather Due only knew of the first time, and she sure as hell wasn't going to admit to a second. Not with the way she was acting. That would stay between her and Heather Chandler, just like the first one had meant to. The cat was out of the bag for now, but at least they could do damage control. It would have been easier if Heather Chandler was around, but for now, she would have to settle for working on this on her own and seeing what Heather Duke wanted.

For a moment after she had covered Veronica's mouth with her hand, Heather simply looked around them to make sure no one was staring or listening in on their conversation, though it seemed no one was even giving them a passing glance. Heather Chandler wasn't around, so they weren't as interested in the two bookworms of the Heather group. It probably would have been different if it had been Heather McNamara there instead of Heather Duke, but she wasn't going to complain about the lack of attention on her for now. Why would she? If Heather kept up this line of conversation, she would want it to stay between them and the lockers, no one else.

Once Heather seemed satisfied that no one was paying attention to their conversation or staring at the two, she looked back to Veronica and narrowed her eyes. “I'm going to remove my hand now, but if you start screaming bloody murder or asking dumb questions, I'll cover your mouth again. So be good. Got it?” Veronica gave a slow and deliberate nod, her eyes narrowed in return, and Heather let out a small sigh that rang of relief and made her shoulders slump, before she dropped her hand and wiped it across Veronica's blazer, not caring if her fabric was stained, and ignoring the look of distaste that Veronica gave her for such a crude behaviour. “Good girl.”

The moment Heather's hand was off her mouth, Veronica wiped her sleeve across it furiously, trying to wipe off any germs she could have gotten. She had no clue where Heather's hand had been and was taking no chances, especially not with her acting so weird. She could have rubbed poison on her had for all she knew, though it seemed unlikely. Hat if she had gotten some in her own mouth? She just wanted to be safe. Content after a moment more of scrubbing her mouth with her sleeve, she glared at Heather and gave a soft grunt of irritation at being treated like a dog. “Why are you even asking if we did? It's none of your business. What we choose to do with our bodies is our choice.”

“Oh, shut it, won't you? Jesus Christ. Don't you think that if I really cared about you two doing that, I would have told the whole school by now?” she sneered, and Veronica could only frown, crossing her arms over her chest. That… didn't answer her question at all, though it at least put the fear that she would be outed to the whole school at ease. At least there was that as a silver lining in this mess of things. That didn't mean Heather was off the hook though, and she wasn't going to let her go without a fight. She had to answer the question, and she wasn't going to let her drop it just like that. She wanted answers.

“That doesn't answer my question.” The look Heather gave her could have killed, and had she been a weaker soul, she might have flinched. Instead, she focused on standing her ground and trying to give an equally hard glare back. Maybe if she stood tall, then Heather would buckle and tell her what was up. If nothing else, she would at least be aware that Veronica wasn't easily pushed around. She wasn't weak willed and could stand her ground, even without Heather and Heather backing her up right then. That's what she was going to keep telling herself anyways. It had to work somewhat. She hoped. Worse come to worse, she would just look stupid in front of Duke, trying to show she wasn't a scared freshman.

“God, can't you put two and two together and use that big brain of yours? Come on, you're pretty smart, right? Think about what Heather did to you, and what I said. You wouldn't be the first one that she's done it that to, Veronica. As far as I know, you'd actually be number three.” Did she mean kiss? Fuck? Had Heather meant that Heather Chandler had kissed two other people besides her, fucked them, or what? Surely Heather Chandler had kissed someone before and lost her virginity, she had admitted so at their last sleepover. So what did Heather mean? She didn't understand, and the confusion must have been written on her face, because Heather groaned and ran a hand through her hair. “Me and Heather. We were younger but...”

There was a pause as she watched Heather look around, paranoid that others were listening in again Veronica assumed, before groaning. Maybe she didn't see a way out, and Veronica was grateful for it. Then she could get some answers. What was she going on about? Was she saying Heather had kissed them before? Maybe that was why she was such an amazing kisser. Or maybe that was just Veronica's lack of experience showing through on her end. The hall must have been too crowded for Heather's taste, because she grabbed Veronica's hand before saying anything else and tugged her towards the janitor's closet. She wanted to protest, wanted to pick up her backpack from the ground and gather her stuff up, but Heather was surprisingly strong and had a good grip on her hand.

“Come on, if you really still don't get it. I'll tell you more in here, but you can't tell Heather, got it? If she finds out, she'll skin me alive and make me eat my own flesh as punishment for doing this.” She refrained the urge to say she deserved it. Just barely. She let Heather lead her on down the hall and away from her locker instead, wondering what it was that Heather was going on about and intended to tell her about in the janitor's closet, when the girl's bathroom probably would have worked just as well, as long as they kicked out any lingering freshman before they started to talk.

“Alright, alright. Calm down, Heather. I won't tell Heather, I guess,” she huffed and Heather gave a solemn nod, but otherwise not verbally responding. She watched Heather look up and down the hall and turned to look back at her own discarded backpack. The books were still spilled everywhere, a complete mess, and she desperately wanted to pick them up. As she stared, she watched a teenager about her age in a large black trench coat stop by the pile and look down, grabbing up her diary. He turned to look her in the eye and she could see him grin, just before Heather tugged her into the dark of the janitor's closet. Shit. She had to get that back from him later, she couldn't dare let him look through it. She had to get out of her quick to get it back. “Okay, Heather, hurry up and tell me what's going on. I got to go get my backpack before Kurt and Ram throw it on the roof again.”

“Shut up,” Heather hissed sharply, pushing her back against the wall, before they kissed. It was hard and rough and nothing like Heather Chandler's soft lips, but it still stole her breath away all the same. She hadn't been expecting this, not really, and wasn't sure what to do, her hands hanging at her sides limply. She felt like she was supposed to push Heather away, but she wasn't quite sure she wanted to. Heather's hands were clawing at her sides, nails pulling at her shirt in a way that made her want to tug it off, and could only let out a short little whimper when Heather nipped at her lip.

How had she gotten into this? How had she managed to have not one, but two of the Heather's in the span of a day? Her brain seemed to short circuit, unable to find the answer as it melted into the kiss that was still pressed to her lips. Teeth nipped none too gently against her, almost hard enough to draw blood, and Veronica wondered what Heather would say, if she caught them both now. Probably not something good, of that she was sure. For now, she did her best to focus on Heather, to focus on the way she grabbed at her and the way her lips felt against her own. She would have to tell Heather Chandler later, when Heather Duke wasn't pinning her to the wall with her lips and trying to tear through her blazer.

 

Dear Diary,  
I am so fucked. Heather Duke saw me kissing Heather today, and led me into the janitor's closet to tell me more about it! Once we were in there, she kissed me! Can you believe it?


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dear Diary,  
> I'm so fucked. Heather Duke saw me kissing Heather today, and led me into the janitor's closet to tell me more about it! Once we were in there, she kissed me! Can you believe it? Well, buckle in, cause that ain't all that happened. She ended up under my skirt, licking at me, and I wish I could have seen what she was doing. Before I finished though, Heather came in and pulled her off. It was so hot and I hate that I'm still so turned on by it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> again, same diary entry as last time, just expanded. i just wanted to expand on it more as i revealed what happened in the new chapters as they came out, didn't want to spoil. beware, ahead there be smut. not very graphic but smut all the same. if you don't want to read it, you're free to skip, you're not missing anything important.

She had to pull back. She had to. Having Heather kiss her had distracted her momentarily, but now that she had her wits about her, she realised that this couldn’t continue. She had to say something. If she didn’t, then she’d never be able to live this down. She couldn’t very well kiss Heather Chandler again with knowing that she had let Heather Duke pin her to the wall and kiss her without a fight. Even with the feeling of teeth against her lip, nipping hard enough to almost draw blood, she knew she couldn’t let this continue without at least saying something. _Anything_.

“Gunhhh,” she tried, as Heather pulled back, her bottom lip trapped between her teeth. Okay. Anything _coherent_ would be nice, and while that was a nice attempt, she had to try again. Heather tugged gently on her bottom lip for just a moment before letting go, her grin predatory, and Veronica swallowed, putting her hands on her shoulder to hold her back and keep her from kissing her again. She had to try again. “H-Heather,” was all she could mewl, and she hated how weak she sounded. How small her voice was. She didn’t like being so weak and small.

“Aw, saying my name already, ‘Ronica? We haven’t even really started yet,” Heather cooed, her hands grabbing onto the bottom of her blazer, and Veronica swallowed around the lump in her throat, trying to ignore her hands as they wormed under her shirt. This- trying to talk- wasn’t going as well as she had hoped. Her voice was weak and she felt almost like she was going to drown in the ocean that was Heather Duke. She was so overwhelming, but not quite in the same way as Heather Chandler. It was a different kind of overwhelming.

While Heather Chandler always made her feel like she was on the edge of something, overwhelming in the sense that Veronica was scared of her reactions and didn’t quite know why she did what she did, Heather Duke was different. Her overwhelming was simply that Veronica didn’t know what to think, didn’t know what to do. She didn’t know what to even say, not now. Not with the way her hands were slowly sliding up her sides, but knew that, if she didn’t say something, more than a few sputters or Heather’s name, then, this wasn’t going to get anywhere. She tried again, swallowing thickly as she found herself arching up into the gentle touch she hadn’t know that Heather was capable of. “Wh-what… What are you… Where is this going? I don’t understand why you’re…”

Heather tilted her head in a way that stole what ability to speak she had gotten back, before she leaned forward. Fully expecting her to kiss her, Veronica prepared to push against her shoulders, intent making sure that she wasn’t going to get close enough to do anything, but Heather stopped, inches away from her face, and let out a soft little chuckle that made something warm pool in her stomach. “Veronica, you’re sputtering. Listen, I told you I was going to explain why I asked about Heather fucking you, right?”

“Right,” she mumbled, feeling her chest seize up. She couldn’t stop herself from staring at Heather’s lips, at how there was a spot of red lipstick, mostly surrounded by blue, and wondered if Heater would even notice. She would probably just wipe her lipstick off after all of this and reapply it, so she wouldn’t have been surprised if she didn’t. Still, she wanted to kiss her again, to feel her teeth at her again, and instead had to look up at her eyes, trying to focus on her words instead of her lips.

“Well… This is why. Heather, she was my first kiss. Heather’s too. Don’t get me wrong, I could have had worst first kisses, and I’ve had worse kisses since then. I just don’t want you to end up being used by her,” Heather murmured, and Veronica felt her chest swell. Was… Was that true? Was Heather Chandler using her? Had she been kissing her for her own reasons? Why? So she could proudly tell everyone she had taken someone else’s first kiss? Confusion filled her heart to the point she was scared it was going to bust, and all strength left her limbs as she thought it over.

Just before she was about to collapse, before her arms were to slip free of Heather’s shoulders, Heather kissed her again. She focused on that, focused on the feeling of her lips, because it was solid. Pushing the thoughts from her head for now, because she would deal with those later, would add them to her diary entry to try and express what was eating her alive then, she focused on Heather’s lips against her own. On the teeth nipping her lips. On the tongue lapping at her gently, enough to make her lips part.

This, she could deal with. Could reciprocate. It was messy and sloppy, but it was something to focus on for now, to take her mind off of Heather Chandler. If what Heather had said was true, then she couldn’t do anything about it right then anyways. So why not enjoy this? It would be the perfect way to get back at Heather Chandler for kissing her, wouldn’t it? Kiss Heather Duke until their lips were a gross shade of teal, until she no longer thought about her using her, until her heart didn't sting anymore.

Instead, her lips stung as Heather nipped her lips harder, drawing little droplets of blood and a small gasp from her. A warm tongue was quick to lap up bubbling blood and almost drew a moan from her, pooling liquid fire in her gut. Hands slid up her sides and made her back arch up closer, pressing to the warm body so close to her. She wanted to do more than stand there and let Heather play with her, so without a second thought, she wrapped her arms around her neck and pulled her close, just as Heather’s tongue slipped into her mouth.

She found herself getting lost in Heather’s hands on her, in Heather’s tongue in her mouth, in the way her body felt against her own. It was easier to focus on than the events of the day before and that morning. Focusing on the warm tongue lapping at her and exploring her mouth, twisting and curling in a way that made her heart skip a beat, she could live in the moment. She could ignore the way her heart ached if she could just focus on Heather kissing her. On her hands, slipped under her bra. They were mending and squeezing her chest for the most part, though her thumbs circled around her nipples slowly. She could feel them hardening under her ministrations, and when Heather pinched one between her forefinger and thumb, Veronica couldn’t help but moan into their kiss. It was all so new and surreal, but easier to focus on than Heather using her.

She lost track of how long they stood there, lips locked and Heather’s hands up her shirt. Long enough for a fire to have built up in her stomach and her legs have squeezed together, trying to ease the ache that the build up of pressure had caused, she knew. It seemed like it had only been a few minutes, but the next thing she knew, the first bell for class was ringing, just as one of Heather’s knees was starting to nudge her thighs apart. Just as she started to pull back, wanting to protest to their continued kissing when they needed to get to class, the warm flesh of Heather's knee pressed under her skirt, against her aching core, and drew out a sharp whine instead of whatever words she had been trying to make.

“God, Veronica… You're so pretty like this,” Heather mumbled as she looked her over, grinding her knee against her slowly. It was enough to get her hips jerking, just slightly, and she wanted to beg for more, but instead restrained, biting her lip and throwing her head back against the wall. There was a dull thunk, and while it hurt, it only served to make her more excited, her hips jerking against Heather's knee as she pulled her close. She had never been this close to anyone else before, had never thought she would grind against Heather like this, had never felt the burning in her core quite as intensely before. She needed relief, and was glad to take whatever little bit of it Heather was going to offer.

“Hea-Heather,” she mewled after a moment, and felt lips against her neck. Her head tilted to the side, just enough to allow Heather better access to her neck, and she felt her breath catch in her throat when Heather pressed her knee a bit harder against her. She couldn't help but grind down on it in response, closing her eyes and enjoying the warmth of the body against her own. Of Heather against her. Of her knee as she tried to find the sweet spot against her core. It seemed impossible, for every position left some other part of her aching, but she did her best to focus on what felt better, on what felt relieved.

“Veronica… You're so wet… I can feel your cunt juices all over my leg. Do you need a little more?” Heather mumbled when Veronica's hips jerked a certain way, planting a kiss on her neck every time she paused. A whine was all she could think to give, and when Heather's hands slipped out of her blazer, another joined the first. She missed the contact already, her back arching closer to Heather, as if begging her to touch her again, but not quite able to get the words out. “Oh, don't worry, I'm not going anywhere. I promise I'll make it feel better.”

Her words were reassuring, able to dampen the whimper that threatened to tear from her throat when Heather grabbed her hips and dug her nails in through her skirt. She opened her mouth to beg, wanting more to focus on from Heather's touch, because it was intoxicating and distracting from everything that had been plaguing her for the past few days, but a sharp moan escaped in place of words as Heather bit down on her neck. Fuck. She felt the slightest bit of suction after a moment, teeth scraping and nipping the sensitive skin there. Was she… Trying to leave a hickey? Oh god, she was. Heather was marking her.

Veronica found her hips jerking forward of their own accord at the thought, imagining the mark Heather had left there on display for all to see. For Heather and Heather to see. Then they'd know what had happened. Or at least, would know someone had gotten to her. Had marked her as their own. The thought alone had her pulsing and she wanted nothing more than to have Heather mark her again and again. She seemed content to oblige, without her even asking. She felt her bite again, felt her sucking at the sensitive skin, and felt her hips jerk again. It was as if magma was coursing through her veins, warming her to the core, and she wanted nothing more than to buck against Heather, to ride her knee, to feel her hands gripping her hips and pulling her close.

Another bite and she had to bite her lip to hold back a scream. Heather held her close, helping her hips to find the right rhythm, as she sucked on the skin. It was a rush, to feel Heather so close, to feel her teeth scraping against her skin. She was almost light-headed, tugging Heather as close as she could, and trying to ride out the warm pulsing in her core, but no matter how much she rocked against Heather's knee, it didn't seem to be getting any better. If anything, it was worse, the grinding a slow sort of torture that made her almost want to cry. She could feel tears pricking up and squeezed her eyes shut that much tighter, refusing to let them out.

She wasn't going to cry. Not over this. Not if she could help it. Even if Heather biting on her neck again was enough to draw a shrill whimper from her that was almost painful, even if the grip on her hips was tight and keeping them rocking against her, she wasn't gong to cry. She would ride this out as long, wouldn't dare let a single tear drop fall. Not as long as she had her wits about her. She wasn't going to cry because Heather was letting her grind on her leg.

She lost track of the amount of times Heather bit her not too long after the fourth, lost track of the moans and whines she gave, lost track of her jerky rhythm. It was all a blur. Every time Heather bit down, her hips would jerk hard and she would whine, but Heather was quick to soothe the area with peppered kisses, gentle licks from her tongue, or sucking against the skin. Each little nip that she would give set her stomach on fire, curled the knot in her stomach tighter, and made her hips twitch against her knee. It was all over too soon though, Heather pulling back from her neck to look over from her handy work, and Veronica once again felt like she was going to cry as she cracked her eyes open to look desperately at the other girl.

“What are you giving me that look for?” Heather asked curiously, grinding her knee upwards, and the sharp cry Veronica gave drew a smirk to her lips. Instead of answering verbally, knowing that she couldn't, she pressed harder against Heather, squeezed her closer to her chest, and let out a small and weak mewl as she shook against her. A moment later, Heather pulled her knee away, and Veronica was worried that maybe she had taken things too far, that Heather was going to kick her out of the janitor's closet, and let out a distressed whimper. When she felt lips against her own for just a brief moment, she closed her eyes again, leaning closer to her touch, but found the kiss over too soon. “You need more, don't you? I can give it to you. Just tell me you want it.”

“Pl-please,” was all she could say, and it was enough to have Heather on her knees in seconds. Veronica's hands tangled in her hand, gentle enough to just brace herself and not pull, as Heather lifted up her skirt and slipped under it. She felt kisses leading up her thighs, nips placed here and there, and her tongue sliding up nice and slow. She wanted nothing more than to _see_ what Heather was doing at that moment. Sure, she could feel it, dragging against her skin nice and slow until Heather reached her panties, but it wasn't quite the same as seeing it. All she could see was her skirt over the top of her head, Heather's hands on her hips, and Heather's back. Nothing regarding what was going on under her skirt. Picking it up wouldn't have helped either, as her hands would have been in the way, and the position would have been awkward to try and watch.

She couldn't believe she wanted to watch, but she did. She wanted to watch Heather's tongue drag through her folds, wanted to watch her pull her panties down to her ankles, wanted to see it all, but instead, all she could see was her skirt. It drew a frustrated noise of her that Heather took to meant hurry up, but she didn't complain when Heather placed a kiss against her soaked panties. There's another pause before she felt her tongue again, dragging over the wet fabric, and she couldn't help but let out a shaky sigh. Fuck. Heather seemed to know what she was doing, and it made her wonder exactly how she did.

However, Veronica didn't have time to focus on it for more than a few seconds, before Heather had dragged her panties down her thighs, caught between her teeth. Maybe. She wasn't exactly sure how Heather did pull her panties down, but she knew that she had, could feel them sliding down slowly, and knew Heather's hands were on her hips, so it wasn't that. Teeth seemed to be the only option, but Veronica wasn't complaining. Especially not when she felt the warmth of the probing slide through her folds, slow and gentle, as hands grabbed her thighs and pulled them a little farther apart.

The simplest touch already had her knees weak, her face still a deep red from grinding on Heather's knee moments before. Maybe she should have been embarrassed, but for once, embarrassment was no where to be found, only the hot fire pooling in her stomach and the pulsing between her legs that the slow lick wasn't helping. She wanted to beg for more, but found her mouth dry, unable to swallow as she stared down at her skirt and felt Heather's tongue drag against her, in a sort of flat way that she wished she could have seen to get a better look at.

She tugged at Heather's hair after a moment, wishing more than anything else in the world that she could see Heather's face, could see what she was doing, could see _anything_ from under her skirt. Fuck. She wished she could have taken it off, because at least then, she would have been able to see Heather's face. She jerked her hips forward when Heather nipped against her in response to the tug and felt her nails digging into her thighs as she held her face close. Fuck. That probably shouldn't have been as hot as it was.

This entire thing shouldn't have been as hot as it was. Who could blame her though? Heather Duke was on her knees in front of her, her face buried under her skirt, and tongue moving against her in a way that made her insides twist and coil. Shit. She could feel a knot building inside her as her orgasm grew closer, and felt her hips jerking forward of their own accord, and hated that she was so close already. They had barely gotten to do anything, besides makeout, and it wasn't far. She didn't want to cum already.

Focusing on trying to hold herself back, her eyes squeezed shut and she leaned against the wall for support. She pushed down the feeling of her building climax, focused instead on how Heather seemed to methodical in her attempt to get her off, and how nice her tongue felt. She didn't know what to think about to stop herself from releasing, not without dredging up topics she was trying to ignore, not with the way tears were bubbling up from the pressure in her stomach again. She closed her eyes tight, trying not to let them leak free, and focused on that. It was easy to focus on not crying when her stomach twisted and her hips rolled, and it distracted her from the curling and rolling in her stomach as she got close. If Heather kept this up though, there was no way she was going to last long, not with the way her tongue had started to trace around her clit, though what she was tracing wasn't quite clear.

However, just as she focused on trying to figure it out, Heather was jerked away, all stimulation stopping. Her eyes fluttered open and she met Heather Chandler's eyes, burning and dark as they glared holes into Veronica, before jerking to look at Heather Duke. Heather Duke, who had been dragged from under Veronica's skirt by the back of her head. Heather Duke, who had Veronica's juices all over her face. Who's mouth was gaping and sitting half on her heels as Heather kept her pulled back, barely balancing.

But Heather Chandler was having none of it and let go, letting Heather Duke tumble back and land flat on her back with a grunt. Veronica tried to ignore the way her skirt was askew and almost tented, because it almost looked like- like there was something else there that Veronica hadn't been expecting- and instead glanced down at her own feet, seeing her soaked panties pooled there. There was just a moment, where the three sat in complete silence, before Heather Chandler snapped her fingers and jerked a thumb to the door.

“Get out, Veronica.” Her tone was cold and left no room for argument, and despite the fact that her stomach was twisting and her core burned from her climax that had been so close but had been dashed away, she gave a jerky nod and bent down to pick up her panties. Heather Chandler grabbed the back of her blazer when she did and jerked her back up right, still glaring at Heather Duke, but keeping Veronica from retrieving her panties. “Leave them. Maybe I'll give them back later, if I feel nice, but for now? Get the fuck out, before I change my mind. And don't you dare go to the bathroom either, fuckwit. Get to class.”

She hesitated, waiting until Heather Chandler released her blazer, before nodding, quick and without room for error. She didn't wait for further instructions, didn't wait to get yelled at, and only spared a glance at Heather Duke as she rushed to the door. Heather Duke wasn't even looking at her, staring up at Heather Chandler with a grin that made Veronica's pulse quicken, and she almost wondered what she would be missing, but knew there was no time to hang out, not unless she wanted to face Heather's wrath. Without another glance back, she hurried off to grab what remained of her backpack from the floor, hoping that Heather Chandler wouldn't murder Heather Duke in her absence.

 

_Dear Diary,  
I'_ _m so fucked. Heather Duke saw me kissing Heather today, and led me into the janitor's closet to tell me more about it! Once we were in there, she kissed me! Can you believe it? Well, buckle in, cause that ain't all that happened. She ended up under my skirt, licking at me, and I wish I could have seen what she was doing. Before I finished though, Heather came in and pulled her off. It was so hot and I hate that I'm still so turned on by it._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> would you guys be down for occasional interludes from other characters (mainly the heathers)? mostly just to switch it up and reveal stuff you're probably not gonna find out so explicitly otherwise?


	8. Heather McNamara's Interlude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We focus on Heather McNamara for a chapter, and explore a bit of her past relationship with Heather Chandler.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was mostly just a writing exercise but... it fits well as an interlude between the last chapter and the next one, with thoughts from heather mcnamara, of all the heathers. so. enjoy. tell me what you think about it, if i should remove it, etc.

The first kiss, they’re twelve. Just barely twelve really, sitting on Heather Chandler’s bedroom floor, and giggling. Heather Duke is sick, with the flu or a stomach bug or something gross that they’re not too sure of but she’s throwing up and running a fever, so she’s not invited to the sleepovers until she’s better. It leaves the two of them painting each other’s nails and giggling about how silly it is to wear each other’s colours. She thinks Heather looks good in yellow, and Heather tells her smoothly that she prefers red, but yellow is nice too. They’re cracking jokes and snickering at each other, leaning closer and closer like the best friends they are, until… Until there’s nothing left between them, because Heather is kissing her, her hand hesitating on her middle finger and leaving a dot of red that’s slowly drying between her nail and the brush.

Heather jerks back first, smears a line of red across her hand with the fingernail polish, and she’s nothing but confused. Her mouth opens and closes like a gaping fish, trying to get words out that she can’t even begin to form, before Heather has put the nail polish away so it doesn’t spill and ruin the carpet and begs her- with tears in Heather’s eyes and bits of her pretty pink lip gloss glittering on Heather’s lips- not to tell. “Please, Heather,” Heather says, and she can only stare. “I’ll never, ever do it again, as long as you promised not to tell! Please. It’ll stay between us and no one else will have to know.”

So, reluctantly, she agrees. Even though she kind of liked it. Even though she doesn’t understand why Heather is so upset just then, she promises not to tell.

 

* * *

 

Two years later, the first kiss but a distant memory that she isn’t even sure happened, Heather comes to her house unannounced a little before a big senior party that they planned on sneaking into. Heather’s limping, her eyes puffy and red, when the maid leads her to her room, where she’s sitting and reading the latest copy of some girly magazine that came in the mail. She wants to ask what happened, why Heather’s limping, but knows better than to ask questions she doesn’t want the answer to. Instead, she thanks the maid for letting Heather in, and invites her to check out the magazine with her. There’s no hesitation in her nod as Heather comes over and makes herself comfortable beside her, and she doesn’t ask any questions about why Heather’s here. She points out a pretty dress instead and they spend a thirty minutes gushing over everything they can, before they run out of pages to talk about, and Heather starts crying, fat ugly tears that bubble up and streak her cheeks.

She doesn’t even think about it, when she kisses Heather. It’s a quick one, a short peck that doesn’t linger for but a second, before she wraps Heather up in a tight hug and squeezes her against her chest. Though she doesn’t know what happened, besides that Heather probably snuck out to that dumb senior party a little early, she does her best to comfort her. She asks if she wants to stay the night, they can even invite Heather Duke over if she wants, and Heather simply shakes her head, hides her face against her, and begs to borrow some pajamas for the night. She asks her parents, and Heather is allowed to stay over.

She doesn’t mention the blood that Heather has on her panties or inner thighs, not to Heather or her parents, and instead tucks a clean pair in with the pajamas for Heather. When she finds the bloody ones in the trash later, she decides that, no, she didn’t see anything.

 

* * *

 

A couple months pass before they kiss again. Heather Chandler is sick, for the third time that week, and she’s holding her hair while Heather Duke gets a teacher. It’s strange and she doesn’t get it, because Heather Chandler doesn’t _get_ sick, especially not before school like this, but she rubs her back all the same. No questions that she can ask are going to make Heather any better, so she doesn’t ask any. They haven’t mentioned their kisses and she has to wonder if they’re forgotten, but doesn’t linger on it. Instead, she keeps Heather company when she finally sits back from the toilet she had been hugging, tears streaking her cheeks. She fetches a wet paper towel and carefully washes Heather’s mouth off for her, even dries her tears with the clean side, before Heather kisses her.

It’s gross but just for a brief moment, thankfully, because otherwise she might have gotten sick from the thought alone if it had lingered. Heather doesn’t say anything, hasn’t said too much in the past few weeks, and she isn’t sure what to say either. So she kisses her forehead and tosses the wet paper towel away, before she sits just outside the stall, knowing there isn’t enough room for them both inside. They chat quietly, not mentioning the kiss that they just shared, but focusing on other things. Less important things, like that Martha Dumptruck tripping in gym the week before, even though it’s an exhausted topic, because it’s better than kisses or sickness. Heather Duke returns with a teacher eventually, and the teacher takes Heather’s temperature, mumbling in confusion about the lack of fever. Heather is sent home regardless, leaving her with Heather Duke, and they don’t say another word about it to anyone.

A week later, when Heather misses a couple days without even telling them, they don’t ask about it when she comes back for fear of her answer. Heather stands up straighter, is a little meaner, but they both know something happened Heather doesn’t want to talk about, and she almost wishes she had gotten sick from their kiss, because at least that would have helped ease the nervous ache in her stomach.

 

* * *

  

When they’re fifteen, it happens again. It’s been over a year since they last kissed, since Heather came to her house limping, and they’re at another sleepover. Heather Duke is missing again, this time for a family vacation for the week, and that leaves just the two of them. Heather’s parents are distant, have been getting further and further away from their daughter in the last year, so when they leave on a trip and Heather stays behind, she isn’t surprised. Instead, she visits Heather’s house, stays the night with her parent’s permission. They stay up late playing board games until they can’t stand to even put the right fake money in the right box, and end up curled up on Heather’s bed, watching some silly teen movie with a convoluted plot that doesn’t even make that much sense, until it happens again. And again. And again.

She loses track of how many times it does, if she’s honest. They’re awkward at first but slowly figure things out, slowly relax together, and find that they fit together seamlessly. The kisses turn from pecks, to lingering presses, until Heather has her tongue in her mouth and everything is fuzzy and warm and she doesn’t want it to stop. The longer the kisses last, the more eager she is to press against Heather, until Heather’s hands are under her nightgown, and… Oh. It’s no longer just kisses or sloppy and inexperienced makeouts, turning into something more. They’re awkward together, but it doesn’t hurt, doesn’t make either of them bleed, and when Heather’s head is between her thighs and a sharp whine escapes her as her stomach twists in a weird new way that makes her hips jerk forward and makes Heather’s touch too much, she wants nothing more than to return it.

So she does. She loses track of kisses that night, and after that night, she loses track of time together with Heather. Not every sleep over is like that one, because there’s always Duke, who is a different story to tell entirely, one that they slowly integrate in after another year, but there’s enough of them to help her figure out that she wants nothing more in life than Heather and Heather.

 

* * *

 

And then, there’s Veronica. Heather Duke tells her that she caught Heather and Veronica kissing as soon as she finds out, and she wants to see, desperately, just like she watched Heather kiss Heather Duke for the first time. Before she gets the chance to let out more than a surprised gasp at the news though, Heather is rushing in the locker room. Heather’s a whirlwind of red cheeks and smudged lipstick, and a look that she knows. When her arm is grabbed up and she’s tugged away from everyone, she follows without a second thought. She lets Heather pin her against a wall, kiss her until Heather can’t stand it anymore, and slips under Heather’s skirt with practised ease. Heather bites her hand and rides her face until she cums with a whimper of their shared name, before mumbling an apology that she cuts off with a kiss.

The next day she isn’t as forgiving, when Veronica rushes away when she asks about Heather’s lipstick. She was kind enough to let Heather lie about the math homework, even though she gave her the look to let her know she didn’t believe a word Heather had said, but this is different. She knows what the weird lipstick half smudges means, and Heather is too flustered by her question to do more than sputter. Heather practically bolts away when she gets the chance, and when she finds out later that Duke had been caught with her head under Veronica’s skirt, having told Veronica that Heather was using her, she can’t help but feel a little jealous of everyone involved.

She wants a piece of the fun too, and she knows exactly how to get it. After all, she can’t let her girlfriends have it all if they’re going to share each other equally.


	9. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Veronica finds out someone broke into her locker, and plans a sleepover with Heather McNamara.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter did not want to be wrote, i swear. finally finished it, and i cant be more happy i did.

Despite what Heather had said, the bathroom was where Veronica went to first. She couldn't go to class with her hair a mess, lipstick all over her neck and smeared around her mouth, and fluids on her thighs. Thankfully, no one was around and she was allowed to clean up with ease, or at least, with as much ease as possible with a fire still burning in her stomach and the knot slowly loosening. By the time she had finally scrubbed all the lipstick off her sensitive neck, she found a hickeys scattered along her skin. It was a patchwork all over her neck, spotting up and down, and the longer she looked, the more there seemed to be. She knew there weren't actually that many, maybe six at most, but staring at them, there seemed to be so many more.

She knew she couldn't hide them, not with what everyone said about hickeys, so she did her best to ignore them. She focused on fixing her hair, straightening it out as much as possible, and tucking it back to where it belonged, in hopes that would hide a couple. It at least didn't make them as obvious, and for that, she was grateful. The bushiness of her hair did have a use after all, it seemed, but it didn't hide them all, and she hoped no one would say anything.

After her hair came fixing her lipstick, though the only way she could really do that was wipe it all off, and then cleaning herself up. She found herself frustrated and the paper towel too cold against her sensitive skin. She was almost tempted to try getting off by herself, but the risk of someone seeing, of Heather somehow _knowing_ kept her from doing anything but washing herself off, though that revealed a few more hickeys under her skirt. Those were at least hid by the fabric, so she wasn't too worried about those, not for now.

Besides. She had to get to class. Had to find her diary too. It was easy to have forgotten about in the moment of passion, but now that her head was clear and everything was clean, she found it filling her with a deep sense of panic, knowing it was gone. She hadn't even seen her backpack in her mad dash for the bathroom, and knew she needed to find that too. Hopefully Ram and Kurt hadn't tossed it in the trash, or on the roof again, or were holding it hostage. She had seen them do it the week before with Heather McNamara's purse. She had reluctantly agreed to their demands, had walked off with them, and Heather Chandler had sat fuming for the rest of lunch, though she hadn't understood entirely why.

Did they know that was her backpack though? Maybe they didn't, maybe they wouldn't extort her like that. She moved automatically to her locker, hoping for some clue, as the thoughts rushed through her head. If anything, they had probably just tossed it in the trash. That would be typical, though she quietly hoped that someone else had been nice enough to take it to the office for her. She doubted it, really, but maybe she could hope. It was the best case scenario after all, much better than any of the alternatives.

By the time she reached her locker, she found herself hoping, praying, that someone had been nice enough to turn it in to the lost and found. It was such a slim chance, really. It was probably gone, her diary was probably gone, and everyone would know the contents before lunch. Everyone would know what she thought of them, everyone would know she was an anxious mess, everyone would know that she had kissed Heather Chandler… She carefully unlocked her locker and pulled it open, intent on grabbing her spare notebook for class, and came face to face with her bag.

She blinked once. Twice. Then snatched it up and cradled it close to her chest, grinning in pure delight. She couldn't believe it. It was in her locker. No one had taken it. A quick glance through the contents revealed that even her diary was still in place, nothing missing, and she felt light-headed with the immense joy that flooded her. Someone had put her backpack back in her locker. They hadn't even taken anything. It was all still there, all in her bag, all perfect, and back in her locker where it belonged. She wanted to find them and thank them a million times over, before it really hit her.

Someone had gotten into her locker. Without her help. Someone had access to her locker. It made her throat dry and she glanced around despite herself. Surely they hadn't hung around, but it still made her nervous. A quick glance back at her locker, looking for anything that could be missing, revealed a note taped to the inside of the door. She yanked it off without a second thought, knowing that hadn't been there earlier that morning, and shut her locker as quietly as possible.

 _'YOURE WELCOME'_ was all it read. It was written in black pen and scratched violently into the page in a strange handwriting she had never seen before, and it made her heart flutter strangely. She couldn't think of a single student at Westerburg who would have done something like that, not without ulterior motives, and the note didn't even have a name. Who had left the note? Was there even anyone at Westerburg nice enough to do that?

Her thoughts were suddenly interrupted by a buzz from her phone. She scrambled to pull it out of her bra, glancing around to make sure no teachers were nearby, before starting towards her class. She would have to write a hall pass before going into the classroom, but she at least needed to get out of the hallway, away from the janitor's closet, before Heather and Heather came out. She wasn't quite ready to face the two of them yet, but then again, there wasn't a lot she was ready to face.

 

 **Head Bitch-leader:** hey!!! where are you guys???? heather and heather arent answering!!!!!!! i cant cover forever!!!!!! DX DX DX

 

Shit. Of course Heather Chandler had left Heather McNamara to cover for the three of them. She should have known, should have expected that. She almost felt bad for Heather, having been in her position quite frequently in the past couple weeks, but also knew that even if she was the nicest of the three, she was still a major bitch when it came to it. She had tossed her fair share of insults, had sweet talked herself out of enough bad situations, and could deal with things well enough on her own. Even if they got along pretty well, better than the other two Heathers most of the time, it didn't erase her past.

She paused to pull out her notebook from her bag, shifting to prop it up on the nearest wall as she scribbled a quick note that would pass as some sort of an excuse for where she had been with the other two, and hoped that it would get them out of trouble for being late to the first class of the day. She made sure that it said something about Heather Duke being sick in the bathroom and Heather Chandler helping her out, so at least they had an alibi, then quickly texted Heather back.

 

 **Veronica Sawyer:** im on my way dw. ive got a note about heather being sick and ill be there in like two

 **Head Bitch-leader:** okay!!! also um,,,, i know we just had a sleepover like two days ago with heather and heather at heathers but,,,,,,

 **Head Bitch-leader:** do you think that we could have another tonight at my house? im asking you first cause i want to make sure you dont have plans, i know the other two dont,,,,, not this week anyways,,,,

 

The immediate response made her speed up, not wanting to put Heather in too much more of a tight spot, as her mind raced over the question. Did she have any plans tonight? Her Friday nights were normally spent with Martha for movie night, but… They hadn't had any of those since school started back and she had joined the Heathers. That meant that tonight was indeed free, since she wasn't allowed to hang out with Martha anymore. Even though she really wanted to, the Heathers wouldn't allow it. If they found out, they'd skin her alive. With a resigned sigh, she shot a message back to Heather.

 

 **Veronica Sawyer:** yeah im free. what time? is heather chandelier or heather dick gonna pick me up? or what?

 **Veronica Sawyer:** i can ride my bike or have my mom take me if they cant

 

Well. She hadn't meant to call them chandelier or dick. She could tell that wasn't going to go well, and could only hope that Heather McNamara wasn't going to tell them. Even if she did try explaining it was her autocorrect acting up, she wasn't sure that they would believe her. Hell, she wasn't even sure that Heather would believe her when she said that it was her phone's fault. It wasn't like things could get much worse though, not with having been caught with Heather's head under her skirt. Shit. She was probably never going to live that down; she would be surprised if she lived to the end of the day, actually.

 

 **Head Bitch-leader:** dont call them that!!!!! jeez ron-ron thats so rude!!!!!!!!

 **Head Bitch-leader:** um. ill see if theyll give you a ride though? heather has yearbook stuff after school today til like 5 i think???????

 **Head Bitch-leader:** maybe six? we can talk to them and find out if thats okay

 

Six. Six sounded nice. She could do that. It would give her time to go home, pack a bag, and shower. Maybe get some homework in, write a diary entry, if she was lucky. She couldn't really be sure though, it really depended on how long Heather Chandler took to bring her home, since she was her only ride home. It would probably take her about twenty minutes to peddle to Heather's house if she rode her bike, or maybe five if her mom drove her… She would have to see what her mother would say. With a small sigh, she sent Heather a quick text to let her know she was outside the classroom, and that they would talk about it later. She had to get to class, and couldn't afford to waste any more time.


	10. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> eXTRA LONG CHAPTER TIME BITCHES. theres smut ahead, just a little bit after heather and veronica kiss, if youre interested in skipping it. this chapter has officially killed my hands.

The rest of the day went with relative ease. Heather and Heather eventually came to class, though neither seemed keen to talk about what had happened. Veronica was glad to let it drop, not caring to discuss what had happened. She didn't really want to talk about losing her virginity to Heather- if that's really what she was going to call what had happened anyways, and she was too scared to ask- and was glad to drop it for now. However, it still plagued her mind and had her drifting through the day, barely realising what was going on.

By the time she had set off for Heather McNamara's on her bike, the entire day had passed with her barely paying attention to much of anything. She couldn't remember much of the work she had done, or really any of the conversations she had with anyone, and could only hope that they hadn't been too important. She didn't think that they had been, didn't think she had done anything important, but honestly couldn't remember, and hoped the sleepover tonight would at least ease the panicked state she had been in the past two days.

Carefully parking her bike against the side of the garage, she spared a look around. Heather and Heather were no where to be seen, but she did vaguely remember agreeing to ride her bike here today, if only because Heather Chandler had complained about having to pick her up and take her home from school, and Heather Duke didn't want to go out of the way. She was fine with it, if only because the bike allowed her a quick escape when she needed it, but it still made her wonder where the other two were. Surely they would have beat her to Heather McNamara's house, since they had cars, right?

She tried not to focus on it as she went to the front door and rung the doorbell, fully expecting a maid to answer the door. It was what she had gotten used to when coming over to the richest house in Westerburg, but today seemed to be fully of anomalies. Instead of the cute maid Veronica had been expecting, she came face to face with none other than Heather McNamara herself, bouncing on the tip of her toes, and grinning in a way that made her heart clench. She had a bad feeling about that grin, but tried not to focus on it.

“Veronica! Hey! I was wondering when you were going to get here! Come in, come in!” Heather squealed, both hands grabbing onto Veronica's arm and tugging her inside. She almost lost her footing but managed to keep herself upright, stumbling into Heather's house. A quick glance around revealed no one in sight, not any of the staff, and certainly neither of the other Heathers. It made her a little nervous, even as she allowed Heather to tug her along, towards her bedroom.

“Um… Heather? Can I ask you a question?” she asked cautiously, and Heather gave an energetic nod, turning to look back at her with a warm and bright smile that made her heart skip a beat. Even though she was wary of Heather, she was adorable, without even trying to be. She had a way about her that made her heart flutter, just by simply being her.

“Sure thing, Ron-Ron! What is it?” Heather said, practically bouncing along. It was a little difficult to keep up with her when she did that, but Veronica wasn't about to tell her to stop. She enjoyed seeing Heather so happy, so carefree. Besides, she was so focused on looking ahead that she didn't seem to notice that Veronica was watching her bounce. Her skirt was slowly raising up slightly with every step, and while she would hate to have admitted it, Veronica couldn't help but watch it. She got a quick glance of Heather's panties as she started up the stairs, pastel yellow with cute little bees, before her eyes jerked up, trying not to stare and ignoring the blush starting on her own cheeks.

“Where is everyone? You never answer your own door, and I would have thought Heather and Heather would have been here by now.” Heather's shoulders stiffened, and it didn't go unnoticed. She had a bad feeling about that. While Heather McNamara was arguably the nicest of their friend group, Veronica didn't exactly trust her as far as she could throw the shorter girl- which wouldn't have been to hard to do, since she was the shortest in their class.

“Um… Heather is running a bit late, cause of the yearbook thing. A-and Heather is on her way, she'll be here shortly…”

“And the staff?” she questioned, not ignoring Heather's stutter, or the way she almost seemed to pause on the way up the steps. Was she hiding something? It wasn't like a Heather to stutter, let alone hesitate like she had. Heather turned to look at her after a moment, her eyes narrowed as she looked her over, before shrugging weakly and starting back up the stairs.

“I wanted it to just be us four. So I told the staff they could go home early for the night. My parents aren't gonna be home, so we'll have the house all to ourselves.” Of course her parents wouldn't be home. She couldn't remember actually ever seeing Mr. and Mrs. McNamara, besides a brief passing once on her way inside before school the first week she had been a part of the Heathers. They had ignored her and Heather Chandler as if they hadn't existed at all, had allowed the maid to lead them through the house. Mr. McNamara had only given a grunt in return to his daughter's enthusiastic goodbyes, and with that, they had been out the door. Since then, she hadn't seen them. It made her a bit worried, but she wasn't going to question it.

Quietly, she nodded, even though she knew Heather couldn't see her, and followed her up the rest of the stairs, tugged along by her arm. In no time at all, they had reached her bedroom. It was rather plain, with just a few posters of popular bands adorning the walls. One of the least lived in bedrooms Veronica had ever seen, if she was honest. Always clean and uncluttered, though still a bit childish. The frilly canopy bed and dresser were the only real pieces of furniture in the room, despite the fact that they were loaded. It made Veronica think of a room a child might stay in when their parents were divorced and they stayed with one parent every other weekend, instead of a bedroom of a typical teenage girl their age.

Heather lead her over to the bed and sat down, practically bouncing on the mattress, and she spared a quick glance around, noting that Heather's stuffed animals had been moved. Instead of their normal perch on the bed, they were on the dresser, facing the wall, and it made her a bit curious as to why. Why exactly were they turned around? Did Heather have something planned she didn't want them to see? The thought alone was enough to make her sit down and put her back to them, not sure she wanted the answer that Heather might give her if she asked. She simply looked to the other, seeing her stare, and swallowed down the lump forming.

“What?” she asked, while Heather simply shrugged, leaning a bit closer. She didn't pull away, knowing Heather was rather cuddly, and allowed her to lean against her and rest her head on her shoulder. There didn't appear to be any harm in doing so, and it wasn't like Heather was going to snap her neck or anything. She was just looking for affection, and Veronica was content to let her have it.

“Nothing,” she hummed in a way that made her more suspicious than she was willing to admit. Heather was up to something, and she knew it. She only used that tone when she was. What she was up to, she couldn't be sure, but it was _something_. Something nefarious. Something dastardly. Something… Something she wasn't sure she would enjoy. When Heather's arms wrapped around her arm loosely and she batted her eyelashes up at her, she knew for a fact that this wasn't innocent in the slightest. “You're just… Really pretty, Veronica.”

“Th-thanks?” she sputtered in confusion, blinking a few times as if it would clear away the fog away from her head. Heather let out a soft giggle, one that made her heart flutter, before she was kissing her. It was sudden enough to make her stiffen, inhaling sharply through her nose. Heather too? Really? What had her life become? How had she managed to kiss all three Heathers? In one day? Was this some game between them? To see who would get the most from her? Fine. She could play this game too.

Heather started to pull away, taking her stiffness as a lack of interest, before Veronica pushed back against her, kissing her almost eagerly in return as she wrapped her arms around her neck loosely and let her eyes slip closed. She felt Heather's grip tighten on her arm, before she pushed back, her attempt as full of energy as she always was. Her lips were soft, eager, and felt perfect against her own. It was a drastic change from Heather Chandler's warm and slow kisses, and the rough and sloppy of Heather Duke's. She tried not to think about them though, pushing them from her mind and focusing on Heather McNamara.

For a few moments, the two of them kissed, just pressing their lips together and enjoying the closeness of their bodies. It was a welcome change to the rush of her day and she was content to sit there, but Heather pushed against her before too long, back against the bed. She let her force her back, wondering exactly where she was going with this, before Heather broke the kiss. She scrambled on top of her and straddled her hips, before their lips met again.

Content to let Heather lead her through it all, she rested her hands on Heather's hips, if only to steady her and keep her from slipping off. She felt Heather relaxing under her touch, her lips moving slightly against her own, before she felt her tongue probing against her own. It was as eager as she expected her to be. She parted her lips, allowing her entrance to her mouth, and relaxing back against the bed. It was all soft and eager from Heather, her tongue exploring her eagerly, as if Veronica was going to push her off at any moment. However, she was happy with letting Heather have her way, wondering exactly where she was going with this.

The answer came in the form of warm hands slipping under her shirt a moment later, slipping up her sides and slowly exploring. They were warm and careful, tracing and trailing and leaving goosebumps in their wake. She can't help but let out a soft gasp into the kiss, if only because Heather was so gentle, much more so than Heather Duke had been, and it left her breathless. She found herself arching up into her touch, enjoying the way her soft hands felt against her skin. Just the touch alone had her stomach twisting and fire roaring through her veins, her legs squeezing together in an attempt as some form of relief.

Heather McNamara was so intoxicating. It didn't take anything at all to get lost in the way her mouth felt against her own, in the way her hands squeezed and mended, in the way she pressed against her. She was warm and gentle and being against her felt… Safe, in a way she couldn't explain. She hadn't quite realised she had been moaning into the kiss, whimpering into her mouth, until Heather pulled back, her cheeks a wonderful pink, and let out a beautiful laugh that rung in her bones. She felt her own cheeks burning in response, just from looking up at her, and gave her hips a gentle squeeze, pulling her against her as she felt fire pooling in her core.

“What are you laughing at?” she panted, and Heather grinned, leaning closer. Close enough that their lips were almost touching, but not quite, an inch or two separating them. She wanted to lean up and kiss her, but refrained, staring at Heather and how beautiful she looked, hovering over her. Her hair was slightly mused, her lipstick smeared, and her eyes sparkling wonderfully. She was breathtaking.

“You… You're so… So vibrant. Kinda like I'm gonna stop,” Heather hummed, shifting her position to press a knee against Veronica's thighs. She nudged them apart gently, pressing her knee between her legs and gasping at the wetness that met her knee. Veronica should have been embarrassed, but she couldn't find it in herself, not after everything that had occurred earlier that day. “God, Veronica… You're not wearing any panties?”

A moan slipped free and she pressed against Heather's knee, grinding against it with a slight whimper. She couldn't help but blush at the other's observation and gave a weak nod, closing her eyes and trying to take in all of Heather at once, from her squeezing and roaming hands, to the way she was straddling one of her legs, to the way her knee was pressed against her and moving, just enough to give her friction, but not enough to satisfy the pulsing between her legs.

“N-nngh… No… H-hah… Heather stole them,” she mewled, a pitiful mess, and she felt Heather jerk her knee against her, grinding it against her core in return to her own jerky thrusts, before she planted a kiss against the corner of her lips. It was a gentle kiss, enough to anchor her to it, to give her some rock to hold onto in the waves of fire roaring through her veins and the burning settling between her legs.

“Which Heather? The same one who gave you those hickeys?” Heather growled, almost predatory, and Veronica could only shake her head, a thick whine bubbling out as Heather pinched her nipples. She was surprised at how sensitive she was, how good it all felt, and wondered if it had anything to do with the denial from earlier that day, or if it was just Heather that had caused such a wonderful reaction in her, that had her chest heaving with each little squeeze, that had her breath catching each time she shifted her knee a certain way.

“No! Guhhhh... It was… H-hah… Heather Chandler stole my panties… She caught me with Heather under my skirt--” Her voice hitched as Heather twisted her sensitive nipples, before a squeaky and desperate whine escaped her and Heather stopped. “Nnn… She pulled Duke off of me and told me t-tuh… To get to class and to leave my panties behind… So I… I didn't...” She whined again as Heather kissed the other side of her mouth, closing her eyes and grinding harder against her knee, desperate for more than just the simple touch.

“Wow, Veronica… So you didn't get to cum earlier?” she cooed, and Veronica could only shake her head, fighting off every noise that wanted to bubble free. She had to be strong. Had to maintain some semblance of composure. Even if Heather had her grinding against her knee, even if she wanted to kiss her again until neither of them could breathe, she had to at least have something to rely on. If that was only stopping herself from moaning, then so be it. “Aww… That's no fun. Do you want to cum now? I can help you.”

“Oh god Heather, please!” It left her mouth in a rush and she hated how desperate she sounded, but really, she wasn't in much of a position to complain about being desperate. Heather had hardly touched her and she was already a weak mess under her, grinding on her knee and begging her to help her cum. She was pathetic, but Heather didn't seem to believe her, letting out a soft hum as she ran her thumbs around her chest slowly, teasing her with a gentle touch.

“Please what, Ron-Ron? You have to tell me what you want or I won't know,” she cooed, a mischievous glint in her tone that made Veronica's stomach knot. She cracked open her eyes, just enough to glare at the one straddling her, before she pressed her own leg forward, enough to press against Heather from where she had been straddling her. She found wetness there, pressing against her leg as Heather let out a startled groan, before she started to rock her hips, smearing her juices against Veronica's leg.

“Heather… If you let me cum, then I'll… I'll do whatever you want. I'll eat you out, fuck you in a- ah! Any way I can… Just, oh god…. Please let me cum,” she sputtered, more and more of her composure slipping away as Heather ground against her leg. There was a short and choppy nod, before her hands slipped out from under Veronica's shirt. Despite herself, she let out a whine at the loss of contact, before Heather kissed her. It was still warm, still soft, but there was a desperation behind it that there hadn't been before.

Just as her lips parted and she moaned into the kiss, she felt her knee shift away, though it was quickly replaced by Heather's soft hand. Her fingers slowly traced through her folds, slowly and calmly collecting her juices, before a single pressed into her, going slow. A gasping whine tore free as she felt Heather's finger spreading her walls apart, and she pressed her hips against her hand, eager for more, even when the kiss was broke and a breathy whimper escaped Heather as her eyes squeezed shut.

As Heather ground against her leg, she pressed against the finger invading her walls, getting used to having something in her for the first time. The most she had ever done before by herself was use the shower nozzle, so this was entirely knew, something she had never experienced before. It soothed the burning in her, made her stomach uncoil, and stretched her in a way she had never felt before. It left her sputtering, her hands digging into Heather's hips through her clothes, and tugging her against her, unintentionally controlling the way her hips jerked and ground against her leg. “H-Heather...”

“Ver-… Veronica,” was the breathless response, before Heather let out a moan that sent shivers down her spine. She leaned up slightly, her breath catching in her throat. She wanted to kiss Heather again. A pathetic whine escaped her and Heather took a moment to catch on, her eyes cracking open to look down at Veronica, before she met her the rest of the way, kissing her eagerly. The kiss coupled with the finger probing against her upper wall was enough to keep her sated for the moment, but when Heather hit a spot inside her, stars exploded behind her eyes and she cried out, tugging her hips down and jerking against her hand. She felt Heather's thumb rubbing against her clit a moment later, as if to soothe her twisting stomach, and she wanted to beg her to keep going.

It was all so much. She was so close, could feel it on her finger tips. She just needed a little more and she would fall over that edge. The knot in her stomach would snap and she'd be free. She arched up against Heather, and the other seemed to know, searching for that spot inside her again. She was getting closer with each passing second, just about there, and Veronica could only whimper into the kiss, begging her to find it, to press against it and make her vision go white. She was so close, it was right there, and then…

“Heather! Veronica!” came a shrill voice, and Heather's hand jerked away, just as she was almost there. She gave a weak whine and tried to squeeze her legs together, trying to get that last little bit of friction she needed… Instead, she felt her climax slipping away, just out of reach, and let out a choked sob, tossing her head back against the bed. Of course Heather Chandler would catch her again. Of course! She just couldn't win today, could she? “What the hell are you two doing!”

“Fucking,” Veronica grumbled, trying to catch her breath, while Heather McNamara whimpered and moved off her leg, flopping down beside her like a kicked puppy. Veronica tried to ignore the feeling in her stomach as everything she had been working towards faded away, letting out a weak sigh as she opened her eyes to lock up at Heather Chandler, who was a deep shade of red, almost red enough to match her signature scrunchie.

“Oh, come on Heather! I wanted a turn too! She was so close...” Wait, what? What was Heather McNamara talking about? Wanting a turn too? Was there something she was missing here? Were they actually talking about what she thought there were?

“Not without me, Heather. I showed you what I did to Duke today after I caught her, didn't I? How much of a mess she was when I was done? Do you think you're getting off the hook? You're getting it twice as bad when I'm done with you.” Oh god. They were. They were talking about fucking her, like it was some… Some game. The thought both disgusted her, and sent chills through her, rejuvenating the pulsing between her legs in a way that made her thighs twitch. “Now… If we're going to do this, we're waiting until Heather gets here too. Got it girls?”

“Got it,” Heather McNamara mumbled as she scooted back against the headboard. Veronica sat up on her elbows and turned to look at Heather Chandler, glaring at the Heather that had started this all. She wasn't sure how, but she knew that this was her fault, that somehow her kissing her had set off a chain of events that had led to this. And she wanted to know why.

“I'll agree to that if you tell me what the fuck is going on,” she grunted, sitting up slowly, and Heather Chandler gave her a predatory grin, one that made her stomach squeeze and fire rush through her again. God. All she had to do was grin, and Veronica was almost ready to drop to her knees and beg for whatever she had coming. She didn't though, instead glaring at her in return for the grin, hoping that her weakness hadn't shown as clear as it had felt. Heather didn't seem to notice, cocking a hip out as she stared at Veronica, practically undressing her with her eyes. She felt weak in front of her like this, but it was a good weak, a weak that made her core pulse and her thighs squeeze.

“Oh, of course Veronica. All in due time. Once Heather gets here, we can all talk about it together, and then, maybe I'll be nice and let everyone cum. But only if you guys act right. Okay?”

“Okay...”


	11. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heather and Heather comfort Veronica about her fears while they wait on Heather.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wrote this entire chapter on my phone bc my internet has been a complete fuckwit lately and wowie i apologise for that. pls tell me if theres anything you notice wrong grammatically or anything, cause i did my best, but... im not perfect.

For the next twenty minutes, Veronica did her best to be patient. She really did. Even though her thighs were sticky and her core ached, she tried to focus on other things. She tried playing on her phone, busying herself with the apps she had installed, tried writing on the notepad, but nothing came of it. It just seemed to make time tick by slower, and she was growing restless, shifting about every few moments. Finally, she gave up and flopped back against the bed, staring up at the ceiling with an annoyed groan.

“What?” Heather Chandler asked, from where she had perched herself against the headboard. Heather McNamara was practically in her lap, her head resting against her shoulder and both arms looped around one of Heather Chandler’s, legs thrown haphazardly over hers as Heather McNamara dozed. They were a mess, and while she was tempted to join them, she wanted them to know she was upset by their silence and lack of explanation, and refused to allow them the affection. They had to be taught a lesson somehow.

“Where’s Heather? She should have been here by now, right?” she groaned, throwing an arm over her face in what she hoped was dramatic enough to display her annoyance. She wasn’t really too good at dramatics like the Heathers, and only followed what she had seen of their previous examples. When she heard Heather scoff, she was almost certain it had failed miserably, and she had made a fool of herself, but didn’t move her arm away quite yet. Maybe it would be more convincing that way.

“No. She probably won’t be here for another ten, twenty minutes. Heather told us seven. I only dropped by early so we could… Discuss something important. I wasn’t expecting to find her under your skirt too, Roni.”

Her cheeks coloured darkly and she glanced to Heather, letting her arm fall back to her chest. She wanted to glare, but the smirk Heather was giving her made her stomach twist uneasily, and she found herself pouting instead, her bottom lip poking out almost pathetically. Heather knew exactly what buttons to push to get under her skin. She wasn’t even trying, of that Veronica was sure.

“She kissed me first,” was the first thing from her mouth, before she paused and redirected the conversation, towards something that would hopefully be less embarrassing and sound less childish. Anything probably would have been less childish than that though. “Why aren’t you mad? I would have expected you to have slaughtered me for kissing Heather and letting her under my skirt, but now you’ve caught me with Heather too, and you’re just… Waiting for Heather. Why? Why haven’t you skinned me alive?”

“Oh, I am mad, Roni. I’m fucking furious. But, not at you. Not really. You were just following their leads, right? A helpless pillowcase of a lamb, being led right in for the slaughter by two devious little slut farmers. They knew better, knew I was interested in you first, and yet… Here we are. Heather is all but asleep on me, like she always gets when she doesn’t get to cum, and Heather spent almost twenty minutes earlier today begging me to let her cum. They’re horrible little shitheads, but they at least know not to disobey me when it really comes to it, and… They’re my shitheads. I guess I should have made it more clear to them to not sleep with you, then maybe they wouldn’t have even tried,” Heather huffed, running her hands through Heather McNamara’s hair. The other let out a quiet murmur as she leaned into the touch, and Veronica felt a surge of jealously rush through her. Without much of a second thought, she moved closer to Heather Chandler, resting her head on her other shoulder and willing her not to say anything.

“Am I… Am I supposed to be a game to you guys? Is that why you let me join your group?” she asked softly, just as she knew Heather Chandler was starting to smirk at the contact. Instead, she felt her tense, her voice hitching in her throat, before she sighed, wrapping her free arm around Veronica and pulling her close. It was reassuring, even if it made her throat tighten and tears prick her eyes. She did her best to fight them off, not wanting to cry right then. She wasn’t going to cry because Heather Chandler was hugging her. No way.

“God, no. We let you in because we saw potential. If you were just a game, it wouldn’t have taken us two weeks to get to this point. We probably would have fucked and ducked on the first day if you were a game,” Heather snorted, and she gave a weak nod, swallowing against the lump in her throat.

Everything was starting to catch up to her from the day, and she felt like she was going to cry. While Heather’s touch was comforting in a way she wasn’t aware Heather could be, it still reminded her of that morning, of everything she had been pushing off all day. It was all bubbling up and she couldn’t force it down, not anymore. It broke forth in a choked little sob as she buried her face against Heather’s neck.

“S-sorry, I’m not… I’m not trying to be a pillowcase, I just… I’m-,” another sob slipped free and cut her off and she wrapped her arms around Heather, hating how weak she felt. Everything had caught up to her in a wave of emotions that she had been repressing all day. It left her shaken and hated that she had fallen apart on Heather. She was probably never going to let her live this down. Why would she? She was being weak, had started crying for practically no reason whatever, and that wasn’t behaviour fit for a Heather. But she wasn’t a Heather. She was Veronica.

“Shit,” Heather Chandler mumbled, soft enough she barely heard it at all. She felt her shaking Heather McNamara, though she barely registered it through her sobs. She had to be waking her up so she could see how weak she was. That was it, wasn’t it? They’d probably record her crying, use it against her, send it to the whole school…. The thought wretched another broken sob from her throat. She had really messed up now. “Heather, come on. Wake up. This is all your territory, not mine.”

“Huh? Five more minutes Mommy… I promise I'll be good...” she heard Heather McNamara mumble, before Heather Chandler gave a few mumbled curses that she didn’t quite understand all of. She felt her shake Heather again as she squeezed Veronica close, and Veronica wanted nothing more than to pull away, before anyone could record her or before she could do something else that she regretted, but she couldn’t bring herself to move from her position at Heather’s side.

“St-stop being a pillowcase, Heather! Wake up, come on. Veronica needs you. I can’t… I don’t know how to comfort people. I need you, Heather,” Heather Chandler whined, and she squeezed herself closer against her, unable to focus on what she had said. Sure, she had heard it, but it hadn’t quite registered as words. It was like someone had stuffed cotton into her ears, so everything was muffled and impossible to understand. Everything they said was distant, too far away to completely understand, and she wasn’t even sure who was talking or about what. She didn’t even realise that Heather McNamara was awake until her arms wrapped around her and her head was pulled against her chest.

“Veronica, hey… It’s okay. You’re okay,” Heather McNamara mumbled against the top of her head and she redirected her attention, wrapping her arms loosely around Heather McNamara’s waist. As the nicest of the Heathers, Veronica felt better hugging her, knowing that she was at least less likely to ridicule her for it and help her through it. She hoped. “Jeez Heather, what did you say to her? She wasn’t crying when I…” There was a pause and she felt Heather Chandler’s arms wrap around her as well, nuzzling into the back of her head. She was a bit stiff, as if unsure of what she was doing, but her presence was just as comforting as Heather McNamara’s.

“Now you admit you fell asleep. I’m telling you, you do that every time I say you can’t cum… Whatever. I didn’t say anything to her, okay? All I did was tell her I wasn’t mad at her. And then she started crying and asking if she was a game and damn it Heather, I’m not good at this shit,” Heather Chandler huffed and Veronica did her best to relax between the two. It felt nice to be hugged between them, and had she not been fighting off another sob, she might have blushed at realising her face was pressed between their chests. As it was, she simply pressed closer to Heather McNamara, feeling her fingers run through her hair.

“I so do not fall asleep! That’s… That’s besides the point though. Veronica, I promise you’re not a game to us. You’re like, really important. We care about you, even if we have a hard time showing it. Not really we, more like Heather and Heather… They’re not very good at showing their emotions… But! That doesn’t mean they don’t like you or anything! They’re just like… Emotionally constipated.”

“Should I be offended by that?” Heather Chandler grumbled softly, obviously not actually hurt, and it brought a small smile to Veronica’s lips, to hear them so… Casual with each other. They weren’t at each other’s throats like they often were in public, not really, and it was almost sweet the way they were acting towards her. Hugging her, making sure she understood that she important to them, talking her through it instead of berating her… She wouldn’t have believed that these were the same girls she had befriended two weeks before. She let herself fully relax in Heather McNamara’s embrace, the sobs that had been bubbling up long popped. In place of the wave of emotions that left her drowning, she was tired, and wondered if the two would object to a powernap.

“I don’t know, Heather. Do you think it’s not true? You did just wake me up because Ron-Ron started crying and you didn’t know what to do about it,” Heather McNamara cooed, sacrine poison dripping in her tone. Veronica almost expected Heather Chandler to start yelling at having Heather McNamara talk to her like that, but instead, she huffed and hid her face against the top of Veronica’s head.

“Oh, go fuck yourself with a rusty blade. Just because I don’t know how to deal with people when they’re blubbering messes doesn’t mean that I’m emotionally constipated. It means I don’t like pillowcases. Besides, I calmed Roni down from a panic attack this morning, I think that gives me some credit,” Heather Chandler retorted, squeezing Veronica close, and she relented rather easily, letting her pull her against her.

She felt almost like a teddy bear the two were fighting over, but wasn’t going to complain. Having their affection like this was nice. Comforting. She didn’t really think the Heathers could be nice, but there was a lot she didn’t know about them it seemed.

“Wait, really? She had a panic attack this morning? Was this before or after you stuffed panties in Duke’s–”

“Shh! That video stay between me, you, and Duke! It was before that, Heather. Before we got to school, actually. I yelled at her and she started freaking the fuck out, and we kissed a little, and then you scared the shit out of us. Seriously, you’re still wiping your greasy finger prints off my window, I’m not letting you off the hook for that,” Heather Chandler interrupted, and Veronica fell into a lull as Heather McNamara pulled her against her chest. Listening to them bicker, with no real acid in their tones, was adorable. She could listen to it for hours. Her heavy eyelids seemed to disagree on that though, slowly drifting shut the longer she snuggled against the two Heathers.

“I know, I know, I will later. After Duke gets here. But wait, you seriously just let her run off after you got to school? What if she had another panic attack? Why didn’t you tell me?” Heather McNamara asked, and Veronica could almost see the pout she was sure wearing. She wanted to kiss her lips to chase it away, but found her limbs too heavy to move. Her eyes slowly slipped shut as Heather Chandler let out a groan and squeezed Veronica closer to her chest.

“You were asking about my lipstick and giving me that look, like… ‘I know you’re lying, stop it right now’. And then she ran off, and you were so persistent for details about yesterday- I didn’t even know Duke had seen me kiss her until then, the little bitch… Next thing I know, I’m pulling Duke off of her cause she looks like she’s gonna cry or scream or both, and we’re all late for class, and you’re blowing up our phones because some fuckwit didn’t tell us what the hell she was doing when she went off and stole Roni…” Barely paying attention to Heather Chandler ramble, Veronica felt herself drifting off in their embrace, just as Heather McNamara tugged her against her breasts. She felt almost forgotten between them, but in a way that made her sleepy heart flutter, just as she slipped into unconsciousness.

 


	12. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Veronica wakes up, and she has a talk with Heather about her relationship with Heather and Heather.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter has a few lines that are more mature than normal, but its nothing too explicit. just a heads up.

Veronica shifted against the warm body that held her, barely registering that around her, people were making noises. Who and why they were making noises was a mystery, but she was slowly coming to conscious, wading through the fog of sleepiness over her mind. If she could just wake up a little more, than maybe she could understand them… But she wasn't ready to wake up. Dimly, she squeezed the warm body against her that much closer, as if they could ward the voices away or make them clearer, before she heard someone hiss. Able to focus more on the words now that she entirely wasn’t unconscious, she relaxed and heard them talk, fully understanding now that they were at least. “If you two wake her up, you’re gonna fucking pay.”

Was that… Heather Chandler talking? It sounded like her, but Veronica wasn’t sure. She wasn’t entirely awake, her eyes still closed and a fog over her brain. She wasn’t entirely interested in waking up enough to look and see who was talking or what about. Maybe if she ignored it, she could go back to sleep. Hell, she wasn’t actually sure why Heather would be in her room, let alone talking to someone else. It was probably just part of a dream that she wasn't too awake to ignore or asleep enough to be apart of.

“S-sorry He-Heather,” she heard someone else mumble. It sounded suspiciously like Heather Duke. So she had to be awake then. She was confused for just a moment, wondering why two of the Heathers would be in her room while she was asleep. They never had sleepovers at her house. They preferred to sleep in one of their own homes, and didn't even like coming over for her house for croquet. Unless… Shit, she was staying at one of their houses and had fallen asleep. She was supposed to be staying at Heather’s tonight, wasn't she? Heather McNamara’s. She was staying at Heather McNamara's. They were having a sleep over with the other two Heathers tonight after…

Oh. She felt her cheeks colouring just slightly as she remembered what all had happened during the day. She remembered Heather Duke’s mouth on her and Heather’ McNamara’s hand against her. Along with being caught by Heather Chandler both times. The memory of how the others had felt against her sent a rush of heat through her veins that pooled in her stomach, but she tried desperately to ignore it for now. She was tired, emotionally exhausted from the day, and wanted to sleep more. She wouldn’t really say she needed to, but she was still emotionally drained enough to not care if she needed it or not. Even if she risked getting her face drawn on, her hand put in warm water, or whatever asinine plot the Heathers may have had for the sleepover, she wanted to sleep more, and besides, whoever was holding her was so warm and felt wonderful against her. If she laid still enough then maybe she could just… drift back off…

“Hea-Heather! A-ah!” a voice that sounded suspiciously like Heather McNamara squeaked out, and she heard Heather Chandler hum above her for just a moment before she felt hands running through her hair. She leaned into the touch, not entirely wanting to wake up and face what remained of the day yet, but the touch was intoxicating, even if she wasn't too sure who was touching her quite yet.

How late even was it? She was almost scared to find out how long she had slept, knowing that the nap would probably throw her sleep schedule out of whack. Whatever. Ever since becoming one of the Heathers, her sleep schedule had been altered by their sleepovers and the massive amounts of homework from her AP classes. Why the three of them insisted on having sleepovers during the week, she would never understand, especially considering it was practically every other day. Maybe it was some kind of bonding exercise?

She thought about all that she had done with the Heathers since joining them two weeks before, and sleepovers seemed to be the most prominent activity. While they would often go to the mall or movies together, it was only when they were bored or couldn’t have a sleepover that night for whatever reason. They never really explained why on those days, always being particularly shifty about it when she asked, but she had accepted it without too many questions. It gave her time to do her homework and catch up on sleep that she had been missing because of staying up late during their sleepovers.

Maybe that was it? The three of them were catching up on homework? It didn’t sound right though, considering how often they cheated off of her, but… They did get into the same classes as her on their own, hadn’t they? They were in three of her AP classes, after all. She squeezed the warm body closer to her own, trying to wrap her mind around that fact. The Heathers had to have gotten into her AP classes somehow. They couldn’t have just cheated their way in, right? Why hadn't she thought about this before? She knew they were in her classes, but it hadn't occurred to her until then that they were actually capable of doing the coursework on their own.

“Veronica, do you think Heather should get to cum?” Heather Chandler whispered, almost right against her ear. She barely resisted the urge to jump at the interruption to her thoughts, burying her face against what she assumed to be Heather and letting out a soft sigh. She hadn’t known Heather knew she was awake, hadn't even really realised that it was Heather who was holding her. Slowly she shifted her face up to look in the direction of her voice, finding herself snuggled close to Heather’s chest, her arms wrapped around her waist, and Heather’s own wrapped around her loosely. Oh. She tried to ignore her cheeks starting to burn, staring up at Heather.

“How did you know I was awake?” she mumbled softly as she blinked up at, trying to clear the sleep from her eyes. Heather gave her a soft smirk, gentle for once instead of her normal sharp edges, but still as beautiful as ever. She felt one hand trail through her frizzy hair, untangling the hairs in its path, and she leaned into the touch without much of a second thought, before Heather planted a kiss on her forehead.

“I didn’t,” Heather murmured softly after her skin. She then squeezed Veronica closer and grinned as she pulled back to look at her again. “Gotcha.”

“Oh,” she squeaked in return, unable to completely stop the word from coming out of her mouth. Heather hadn't even known she was awake, but had been talking to her like she was. She had been holding her against her, running her hands through her hair, and letting her cuddle close. Her cheeks felt like they were burning at the realisation, and Heather seemed to notice, grinning all that much larger down at her. She loved the look on her face, even if it was smug, because it was certainly something that screamed Heather Chandler.

“Roni,” Heather started, then paused as a moan ripped through the room. Before Veronica could turn around to see exactly what was going on, Heather grabbed her chin, keeping her eyes focused on her. “Wait. Listen, you don't… You don't have to join this. This, meaning me and Heather and Heather, and this meaning what they're doing right now. You can just say no and walk out the door, and that'll be fine. We're not forcing you into anything that you don't want. You can still be our friend, even if you don't want to be part of us, or part of what they're doing. Okay?”

“I don't… I don't understand. I don't have to be a part of what?” Heather huffed softly, as if she had explained things well enough, before she let go of Veronica's chin. Heather waved a hand behind her, and with a confused noise bubbling in the back of her throat, Veronica turned around. For just a moment, she saw Heather McNamara completely naked and bouncing against Heather Duke, her face contorted and tears bubbling up, before Veronica jerked to look back at Heather Chandler, her cheeks burning. “Wh-what?”

“Jesus, do I have to spell it out for you?” Heather huffed, then paused, letting out a small sigh. “Sorry, fuck, I'm not trying to be an ass right now. Just… Okay. We, me and Heather and Heather, we're… We're a thing. Kind of? I mean, can you still really be a thing if there's three of you? Whatever. We've been this mess of a relationship for like, two years now, but we still date guys, cause we have an image to obtain, Heather's dad would kill her for being a dyke, and Heather's mom would be more pissed than the time she caught Heather and Heather and me watching. We want you to join us though. I want you to. I want you to be mine, but I don't want to give them up too, because I really do fucking love them, even if they're complete dipshits. Am I making sense?”

“Uh… Kind of. Are you saying that you and the other two Heathers are… Together? But you still date guys sometimes to keep up your image at school and with your parents?” Veronica asked, trying to make sure she understood right. Heather gave a short nod, seeming a little relieved that she was understanding that part at least. With that covered, Veronica trudged forward. “And you want me to be a part of your relationship?”

Heather hesitated, as if carefully thinking over her words, before she spoke, careful and slow. “Originally… I just wanted you for myself, but I didn't want to give them up. I thought that maybe I could keep what I had from them with you. But, you kind of already know now, and that was probably a shitty thing to want anyways. I want you to be with me, and I want to keep being with them too. And, if you want to be with just me, then we can work something out. Or if you want all three of us, we can all four work on this. Together. I mean, after what I've caught them doing with you today, I think it's pretty safe to say that they like you too. If… If you really like us. If you want to say no, that's okay too. We aren't forcing you into anything.”

Veronica gave a slow nod and glanced down, trying to take it all in. So the Heathers were in a weird relationship together, and apparently had been for a while now. They occasionally dated guys, for whatever reasons they each had, but didn't end the relationship with each other when they did. And they wanted her to join them. Heather Chandler did, at least. She wanted her to be a part of their relationship, of their mess. Thinking it over, she couldn't find a reason to say no. Sure, the Heathers could be mean, but they had proved that they had sides she hadn't seen before. She had seen a different side at their sleepovers than she saw in public, and all day she had been seeing different sides to them that they only showed in private. They had made her day hell, had turned it into complete emotional turmoil, but she didn't think they had really done it on purpose. Stumbling over each other maybe, but not really malicious, not as they could have been.

They made her feel happy. Accepted, in a weird way. They had been trying hard to make sure she was okay with everything, even if it had been a fumbled mess. If they could work something out together, then maybe the four of them could have something. Maybe they could really work something out. They just… Had to take time to work out the kinks. Sure, it would be messy, but it was a relationship. It wasn't going to be perfect.

Slowly, she glanced up at Heather Chandler, meeting her eye. Heather looked almost worried, her brows furrowed in an adorable way, and Veronica wanted to kiss the wrinkles away, so that she could see her smile again. She would even take her smug smirk to her worried little frown that she was trying desperately to hide. Worried didn't look good on Heather Chandler, and Veronica wanted it gone. To make it go away however, she had to let her know what she thought, and that was almost terrifying to think about.

“Heather,” she started, pausing for a moment as Heather McNamara cried out, before she started again, “I do want to… To try this. To be with you guys. I'm not saying that it'll be a permanent thing, but I do want to see if this will work out. I'm not really saying yes, because I don't know how well things between us will go, but I'm not saying no. Is… Is that okay for now?”

“That's… That's fair, Roni. We've been shitty to you. Today especially,” Heather said tiredly, as if owning up to her mistakes was physically paining her. She seemed to chew on the thought for a moment before she looked back at Veronica, giving her a bright smile that sent a shiver down her spine. “We can do a little trial run for you. At the end of whatever time period you want to set up, we can see what you want to do, and we'll do our best to respect your decision. Even if it is no.”

“Thank you, Heather,” she sighed, relaxing against her. She heard Heather McNamara let out a short and choppy whine, and turned to watch her move again, resting her head against Heather Chandler. She felt her cheeks colouring the longer she watched her energetic and needy bouncing, but didn't dare turn her gaze away. “Can we talk more about the trail run in the morning? With Heather and Heather? I want to… To… Um...”

“Fine, fine. We'll talk more about the trial run in the morning. For now, we can have some fun. Heather isn't going to last much longer, and Heather isn't going to get off without some help. You can sit back if you don't want to see this, but I do. So if you don't want to watch…” Heather trailed off, shifting to watch the other two a bit closer, before she squeezed Heather against her, swallowing thickly around the lump in her throat as she looked back up at her.

“I… I want to watch. I want to… To see Heather get off,” Veronica mumbled softly, her voice barely audible, and the grin that Heather gave her in return made her stomach knot and fire run through her veins. It pooled in her stomach and she squeezed her legs together, trying to ignore the pulsing that had returned down below.

“Oh, I think we can make that happen.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alright!!!! so!!!! next chapter can either be smut or the morning after guys. im allowing you to decide because??? i honestly could go either way.


	13. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Veronica watches Heather and Heather with Heather.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so. everyone wanted smut. heres the smut. nothing but. youre literally missing nothing if you skip this chapter.

“He-Heather!” Heather McNamara squealed, her hands gripping onto Heather Duke's shoulders. Though Veronica couldn't see exactly what was going on, she was at least see their faces, and she was content with that. She hadn't really got to see their faces earlier, not with Heather Duke's under her skirt and her eyes squeezed tight with Heather McNamara, so she was going to enjoy this for every second it was worth. She wanted to soak it all in, to see what all she had been missing, and to see exactly what she was getting herself in for. She took a couple minutes to look over each of their faces, finding herself almost wanting to memorise them.

Though she was bouncing almost eagerly against Heather Duke, Veronica was still able to get a good look at Heather McNamara's face. It was all scrunched up, tears brimming up and hanging on the edges of her lashes, while her mouth hung open. She seemed to be fighting closing her eyes, half lidded as they were, and Veronica found it was strangely adorable. She wanted to both watch her cry and kiss her tears away. Heather's squeaky little pants and whimpers kept her in place though as she watched her bare chest heave, sweat speckling her skin, her nails digging into Heather Duke's shoulder. With each downwards jerk, she let out a whimper that almost melted into a whine, and listening to her had Veronica's skin on fire. After a moment more of letting the image burn into her mind, she looked to Heather Duke, wanting to watch her as well.

Unlike Heather McNamara, Heather Duke had stopped fighting closing her eyes. They were squeezed shut in a way that almost looked painful, her bottom lip worried between her teeth, and one hand behind her to keep the two of them from sprawling back onto the carpet. Her other hand rested precariously on Heather McNamara's hip, seeming to keep her balanced and keeping herself grounded. Her hold appeared loose, enough to catch her if Heather went somewhere else. Doing her best to not stare at what she could see of where the two met- she wasn't sure if that would be considered rude, and didn't want to upset Heather Duke by staring- she glanced back up at Heather Duke's face, just in time to see her inhale sharply, throwing her head back as her hips rolled upwards.

“Heather,” Heather Chandler said suddenly, snapping Veronica's attention to her. Heather wasn't even looking at her, staring instead at the pair on the floor, but it didn't draw Veronica's attention back to them quite yet. She was more interested in the pink dusting Heather's cheeks, her eyes focused so intently on the other two. Heather had to be enjoying this too then. With that thought on her mind, she relaxed and let her attention fall back on Heather Duke and Heather McNamara, at the right time to catch Heather Duke let out a small keen that stole her breath away. “I know you're close, Heather. It's rude of you to not let Heather cum too. You're going to help her, aren't you?”

A jerky and sharp nod was the immediate response from Heather Duke, and Veronica watched her hand carefully slip from Heather's hip, between her legs. She couldn't quite tell what she was doing, but Heather McNamara's voice caught in her throat before bubbling out in high pitched squeal. She watched Heather Duke bite harder on her lip, swearing that it was hard enough to draw blood. Heather McNamara eagerly kissed her, messy and uneven, but enough to steal Heather's attention away from her lip.

Heather Duke kissed back twice as eager as Heather McNamara had been, and their kiss broke as a moan tumbled free from Heather McNamara's lips. Her arms wrapped around Heather Duke's neck, pulling her close, just as she moved in to bury her face against her throat. Veronica barely resisted the urge to whine, hating not being able to see Heather McNamara's face, and only stopped herself by biting on her bottom lip, intent on watching the two and not interrupting.

“Heather! I-I'm… I can't,” Heather Duke sputtered as she arched upwards, her muscles twitching, in the same instance that Veronica realised that Heather McNamara had stopped bouncing. She was pressed close to Heather Duke, a whimpering little mess, and her hips grinding on what Veronica presumed to be Heather's hand. Heather Chandler gave a soft huff above her, and she didn't bother to look at her this time, so interested in watching the two.

“Heather, come on. You can do it. Come on, cum for us. Cum for Roni. She wants to see you cum. You'll be a good girl and cum for her, won't you?” Heather Chandler asked, and Heather McNamara gave a choppy nod from where she had buried her head on Heather Duke's shoulder, before she let out a weak whine, almost sounding like a kicked puppy. She slowly turned her head away from Heather Duke's shoulder, looking to the two of them instead. She watched her hips roll once, then twice, and then Heather's face contorted and she let out a sharp squeal that bordered onto a scream.

Watching her, Veronica felt her breath get stolen away. Heather McNamara was a mess as she rode out her climax, rocking against Heather Duke, but doing her best to look over at the bed, letting them see her face. She could see the tears that had bubbled up streaking her cheek, trailing onto Heather Duke's skin and mixing with their sweat. She hadn't quite realised how much she actually enjoyed seeing someone cry until then, and quietly wondered if she should feel bad for that.

“Roni, you're grinding on me,” Heather Chandler murmured into her ear a moment later, and she froze. She hadn't quite realised she had been grinding on Heather, hadn't even realised that her thigh was touching her, until then, and felt her cheeks burn as she looked up at Heather, barely able to tear her gaze away from the near-sobbing Heather McNamara. Her mouth opened and closed as she tried to come up with a response, and instead found Heather's lips on her own. It was brief, just enough to keep her from saying anything, and she instantly missed the contact when Heather pulled away. “Shh, I didn't say you had to stop. I like feeling you grinding on me. Go ahead and keep going. It's okay.”

Heather grabbed her rear in both hands and dragged Veronica's hips up a little, then gave both cheeks a squeeze. A startled little whimper escaped her and it was chased with another kiss from Heather. She found her hips moving of their own accord after that, grinding on Heather's thigh, almost desperate for the little bit of friction she was allowed from her thrusts. The feeling of Heather's nails under her skirt and against her bare skin, not quite digging in but threatening, was enough to keep her moving, if only because she enjoyed the feeling more than she was willing to admit.

“Good girl,” Heather hummed softly, squeezing her again, then she turned to look back at Heather Duke and Heather McNamara. She followed her gaze and was disappointed to find Heather McNamara slumped on Heather Duke, panting and hiding her face from the two of them. Heather Duke's face was still scrunched up, almost like she was willing to cry now, and her hand had moved to rest on Heather McNamara's back, cradling her close and allowing her to lean on her. Heather Chandler seemed to be having none of it though. “Heather! That's no way to act after she was nice enough to let you cum. Aren't you going to return the favour?”

A pause followed, for the briefest of seconds, before Heather McNamara slowly moved her face from Heather Duke, looking up to Heather Chandler. Their eyes met and Veronica had to bite back a whimper at seeing how absolutely pathetic Heather McNamara looked. She watched her start to move again, letting out a small whimper as she rose up and slid back down. It reminded Veronica of how sensitive she would be after she came, and wondered if it was the same for Heather. She could feel Heather Chandler shaking her head and didn't even need to look at her to know that wasn't what she wanted, but did listen to what she had to say regardless.

“No no… Get off of her. There are other ways you can make it up to her,” Heather Chandler hummed, squeezing Veronica closer. She seemed to be in thought, and then le out a noise of realisation “Oh, I know… Heather always likes seeing your pretty little face covered in cum. I'm sure Roni would like to see if to. Why don't you show her what it looks like?”

There wasn't a second of hesitation from Heather McNamara as she moved off of Heather Duke, meeting her eye for the briefest of seconds. It was almost like they were exchanging thoughts, because they each gave a nod. Heather McNamara was on her knees in front of her in an instant. Veronica found her breath hitching and her hips jerking a little harder as she watched her get into the right position, wiggling her rear in the air once she was content.

Veronica tried not to stare. She really did. But watching Heather McNamara take Heather Duke's length into her mouth, her head starting to move like her hips had before, had her gaze locked on Heather. She seemed almost messy, still energetic as she always was as she moved. Her cheeks were hollowed out, her eyes half closed, and Heather Duke's hand moved to tangle in her hair as her hips rolled upwards. They were both letting out little noises now, with Heather Duke's being short little whines and gasps, and Heather McNamara's being squeaky moans across her skin. She wasn't exactly sure how long she watched them, but in no time at all, Heather Duke let out a short cry, almost a yelp, and tugged at Heather's hair.

“G-gonna… Fuck gonna cum, He-Heather,” she hissed after a moment, her hips rolling up and her head tossed back. Veronica watched her eyes squeeze shut and a gasping whine tear from her throat as she arched up. Just like with seeing Heather McNamara cum, Veronica found her breath missing, her hips jerking and writhing against Heather Chandler's thigh, but luckily, Heather didn't say anything, giving her rear a gentle squeeze and pulling her closer.

She spared a glance at Heather McNamara once Heather Duke slumped back on the floor, and found streaks of cum covering her face. She was doing her best to sit still, staring up at the two on the bed and one of her eyes squeezed shut so she wouldn't get anything in it. It was a lovely sight that made her bite her lip, thoroughly enjoying how Heather McNamara looked then, and Heather Chandler seemed to be enjoying it as well, letting out a soft hum that she heard ringing through her chest.

“Come over here,” Heather Chandler said after a few seconds more, and Heather McNamara obeyed rather eagerly, sitting on her knees by the bed in seconds. Now that she was up close, Veronica looked over her face, noticing a few stray ropes bordering on stringing into her hair, dripping off her chin, covering her lips… Before she could make a move to do anything, Heather Chandler leaned forward and licked at her cheek, wiping some of the cum away. As she watched, Heather did her best to clean off a blushing Heather McNamara's face, though she didn't get too close to her hair or her eyes. Once she was content with her work, she gave her a short kiss, for only a split second.

Heather Chandler pulled away from Heather McNamara, leaving her face sticky and sitting on her knees by the bed, once she was content. Veronica could do little more than look up at her, before she was being kissed. The feeling of Heather's lips on her own had her melting against her in seconds, and when she felt her tongue prodding her lips, she parted them almost eagerly. She felt a rush of something warm and salty as soon as her mouth opened. It took her a moment to catch what it was, and that was only after Heather Duke let out a groan from where she sat on the floor.

“Jesus, that's fucking hot,” Heather Duke panted, as Veronica broke the kiss and swallowed down the cum Heather had forced in her mouth. She fought off a desperate whine that was bubbling up, while Heather McNamara reached forward and ran her thumb over her bottom lip slowly. She couldn't resist the urge to part her lips, letting Heather McNamara's thumb trace over her lip, across her teeth, and against her tongue.

“She swallowed it all too… What a good girl she is. Maybe we can get her to try giving a blowjob sometime,” Heather McNamara cooed. Heather Chandler squeezed her rear, just as Heather's thumb ran over a part of her tongue that made her insides twist, and she couldn't stop herself. She moaned. It wasn't really that loud, but it was enough to make Heather McNamara smirk, tracing her thumb over that part of her tongue again and making her hips jerk on Heather Chandler's thigh. “Oh, maybe she'll even gag! I'd love to see her choke and cry.”

“You're one to talk,” Heather Chandler snorted, pressing her leg up harder and grinding with Veronica's jerky thrusts. Coupled with the dangerous glint in Heather McNamara's eyes and her thumb exploring her mouth, Veronica couldn't hold back another moan, her eyes falling shut. “You always cry when you cum. I'm sure Roni isn't as much of a pillowcase as you are. She'd probably be a real trooper about it. Wouldn't you, Roni?”

She felt her hair get tugged sharply and let out a whine, her mouth hanging open and drool starting to run down her chin as Heather played with her tongue. She hadn't even realised Heather Chandler had moved a hand from her backside until then, but was content with where it was now, especially since Heather's nails were digging into her skin, enough to sting and threaten further pain. She wanted to press against them further, but the hand tangled in her hair and pulling, sharp and rough, kept her from doing anything else.

“How about we find out then, huh? I bet Ron-Ron will cry when she cums too! I mean, look at her. Her face is all red and blotchy… I bet we can get her off like this, not even touching her clit,” Heather McNamara said, pulling her thumb from her mouth and replacing it with two probing fingers. They traced and twirled over her tongue and she left her mouth open, not minding the drool that seemed to be leaking free, since neither of the Heathers were saying anything about it.

“Oh, I'm sure she will. She almost cried today when I was eating her out. You should have seen her face, Heather. It was so precious. You would almost thing she'd never gotten off before,” Heather Duke added from somewhere behind her, and she felt the bed shift. Suddenly she felt hands reach around and start working at the buttons on her blazer. Though she hadn't been expecting it, she didn't protest, and even straightened up a little to make their job a little easier.

“Your face was pretty priceless when I stuffed her panties in your mouth,” Heather Chandler growled, her nails digging into Veronica and causing her hips to press harder against her thigh, desperate for the stimulation that grinding on her gave. “But I bet Roni's will be better once she cums. I can't wait to see what she looks like when she's under me and begging for me to let her cum on my fingers.”

“With those nails? You'd like, skewer her! Sorry but I don't want to ruin my sheets with blood. Not after last time. I mean, I had to lie to dad and tell him I got my period! God, that was so embarrassing. If he had found out that it was really because of what we did...” There was a small pause and she felt the fingers withdraw from her mouth, drawing out a whine that she desperately wanted to suppress. Before she could do more than crack her eyes open, Heather McNamara was kissing her, soft lips on her own, and she felt another pair of hands working at her blazer.

“Who's fault is that? I told you to go slow! And you hopped on Heather like it was no big deal! God, and you were such a bleeder too! I didn't bleed as much when… Fuck, come on guys! How long does it take to unbutton her damn blazer?” Heather Chandler let go of her hair and her rear at once, and she felt her hands join in as well, before Heather McNamara pulled away and her blazer was tugged off, almost viciously. She lost track of where the hands went after that, each working on undressing her, and she felt lost in their sea of limbs.

Slowly, she cracked open her eyes, watching the three of them work at her clothes as if they were an extremely difficult puzzle, and loved the expressions they wore. It was adorable to see them all concentrated, especially on something as simple as buttons, and when Heather McNamara got the last button of her blouse and let out an adorable victory cry at having her shirt open, she couldn't help but laugh. If this side of them was what she got to see, then she could see herself sticking around them for a long time to come.

Her laugh was cut short as the three all pulled away, just for a second, and then her back hit the mattress. Dazed, it took her a moment to realised they had pushed her away from Chandler, and even then it was only because they were tugging at her skirt, working at her bra, and tugging off her socks. They were almost ravenous, very clearly intent on getting her nude, and managed to do so in record time, leaving her laying back as the three beamed triumphantly.

Lips were on her own before she had time to think about it, soft, warm, and sloppy, and she felt hands on her, working at whatever part of her they could get. She tried to close her eyes and enjoy it, but it was quickly becoming overwhelming, and when she felt a mouth at her chest and another working kisses up her thighs. She let out a short cry against the lips that had her pinned to the mattress. They quickly drew back and she met Heather McNamara's eyes, seeing that she looked hurt. Damn it. That hadn't been her intention, but this was all too much at once.

“Guys,” she started, panting, and arched up towards the warm tongue that swiped across her core. She squirmed under their touch, trying hard to get them to listen to her. She could feel tears bubbling up, trying not to squeeze her eyes shut, so she could look at them, could know she had their attention. She didn't want to cry again if she could help it, but it was too much, too fast. “It's… It's too much... I ca-can't! Please. Just… Just one of you, I don't…. I don't know how to… Please.”

“Oh,” Heather McNamara mumbled, chewing on her bottom lip as she thought it over, before she tugged at Heather Duke's hair and pulled away from her chest. She hugged the other close, despite her groan of protest, and nuzzled her neck. “Heather… Roni can't do all three of us at once… Look at her, it's too much for her. Come on, let's let Heather have her turn with her, and we can cuddle until they get done. Is that okay?”

“Okay, okay,” Heather Duke whined, allowing Heather McNamara to pull her away from Veronica, at the same time as Heather Chandler's tongue swiped against her again. A jumbled apology that was half a moan left her mouth as the two backed off, and she glanced down at Heather Chandler, seeing her grin up at her from between her legs. Her breath hitched at the sight alone and it made her want to squirm, knowing she had the demon queen of highschool's face between her legs. She felt her tongue pause, pulling away, as Heather raised up to look at her.

“Is this okay? Not too much?” Heather asked. Veronica nodded, swallowing around the lump in her throat, and twitched her hips forward, almost begging Heather to touch her again. She wanted to beg her to keep going, but knew she had to let her know it was okay first.

“Y-yes. It's okay. It was just… Just too much when it was all three of you. You were going so fast I couldn't keep up. This should… I think this will be okay. Be better. Can we… Will you please to-touch… Touch me again?” she asked softly, finding her voice hitching. She hated the way it broke, but Heather didn't seem to mind too much, moving back between her legs. She felt her tongue against her and gave a whimper at the touch.

She moved to tangle her hands in her hair but she didn't pull, resting her hand there for now. She focused on the feeling of Heather's tongue on her folds, lapping at her slowly, and did her best to relax back on the bed, watching Heather work. Her tongue seemed to know exactly where to go, swirling and tracing across her skin in a way that made her stomach knot and curl. She had done this prior to now, Veronica knew that. She had told her that the three of them were in a relationship together, and she could figure out then that Heather Chandler had done this before with Heather McNamara.

The thought of Heather Chandler's face buried between Heather McNamara's thighs, working at her and making her make those adorable noises she had heard her make earlier, sent a rush of heat straight to her core. She imagined it well enough, the image of Heather McNamara crying during her climax still fresh on her mind, could hear her noises as she got close, could imagine her squirming and jerking under Heather's skilled tongue… Her hips jerked upwards as she imagined the scene, unable to help herself, and let out a desperate whine. A knot was twisting up in her stomach, one she knew well, and knew that if this kept up, then it wouldn't take her much longer at all to cum.

When Heather put a hand on her stomach to keep her from moving, she slammed her head back against the mattress, her back arching as she felt Heather's tongue trace around her clit, going almost painfully slow. It was enough to bring her back to the present, enough to keep her focusing on Heather's face and the adorable wrinkle that she had between her brows as she concentrated hard. She found herself trying desperately not to roll her hips upwards, fighting the urge as best she could, as tears started to bubble up. Fuck, she wasn't going to cry. No way. She was not going to cry because Heather Chandler was eating her out.

“Heather! Look, Ron-Ron's got tears in her eyes!” Heather McNamara called out suddenly and she let out a weak whine, trying to ignore her. Heather Chandler met her eye for a moment then, as if to confirm what Heather had said, and her tongue swirled a certain way and her hips _jerked_ forward, the knot in her stomach so close to snapping.

A tear rolled down her cheek and she whimpered, tugging Heather's face harder against her by her hair, without really thinking about it. Just then, it felt was only the two of them, her hips jerking against Heather and Heather swirling and tracing her tongue like she was an intricate puzzle, as the knot in her stomach tightened. She was so close, she could feel it at her fingertips. It wouldn't take much else to throw her over the edge. Her hips jerked again, trying desperately to get that last little piece that she needed, and she let out a choked keen that had been bubbling up in her throat. “H-Heather! I'm… G-gonna!”

Heather smirked against her, she could feel her mouth moving differently and _knew_ she was, before her tongue hit her a certain way, and stars exploded behind her eyes. It was a white flash that made her ears ring, her back arching off the bed, her toes curl. She felt her hips jerk t Heather, felt her tongue helping her ride it out, felt consciousness slipping away, before it all flashed out in an instant into darkness.


	14. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heather wakes Veronica up, and together, they make enough noise to wake everyone up too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> listen,,,, i didnt INTEND for this to be smut,,, it just kind of happened,,,, but it is smut. and man im not even gonna say itll be the last chapter of it for now, cause im sure the next chapter will have some too.

The first time Veronica woke, it was dark. There was a warm body crawling beside her, though she couldn’t quite see their face as her eyes adjusted to the darkness. They smelt like candy, all sweet and sticky, and though she wasn’t even sure who it was, it made her want to wrap them up in her arms and pull them close. She struggled to sit up, only to feel their hand pressing back against her chest, pushing her down. She obeyed with only a mildly confused noise, and felt soft lips press to her own, for just a moment.

“Shhh, it’s okay Ron-Ron… Just go back to sleep. I’m right here,” they mumbled and she nodded, pulling them close to her chest. There was only a squeak of protest, before they melted against her, their head resting against her chest, and their arms looping around her neck loosely. She gave a soft hum, nuzzling into the bushy hair she found atop their head, before she found herself drifting back off to sleep, breathing in the scent of bubblegum that clung to their hair.

 

* * *

  
The second time, the sun was starting to rise, just barely over the horizon, with light fluttering in through the window, though that wasn’t what had awaken her. Slowly, she cracked open her eyes, finding herself face to face with Heather McNamara. Oh… Right, she had stayed at her house the night before. Heather’s arms were wrapped around her neck, her face buried against her chest, and her face one of pure bliss. She seemed content, letting out the cutest little snores that made her heart flutter, and Veronica couldn’t help pressing a kiss to her forehead. Before she could really revel in the sight, she heard a loud snore from behind her, and felt arms wrapped around her waist tighten.

She did her best to look behind her, blinking upon seeing a bed-headed Heather Chandler snuggling against her back. Her mouth hung open, loud snores that reminded her of a chainsaw roaring tumbling free, and a bit of drool dribbling down her chin. She still felt the urge to kiss her forehead, and would have, had it not been for the fact she was behind her. She noted the pale arms wrapped around her waist and figured it had to be Heather Duke cuddling her, if what she remembered from the night before was any indicator. Slowly, she relaxed between the two Heathers, letting her head fall back against the pillow with a soft sigh.

Though she couldn’t remember falling asleep last night, she wasn’t really worried about what the Heathers might have done. They had plenty of opportunities to mess with her, but she had a feeling they wouldn’t. At least, not with their attempt at a relationship starting today. The thought made her heart beat funny, as if it was going to pound right out of her chest, and she tried to ignore that thought. She wanted to get up and get ready for the day, but couldn’t bring herself to move. Not with two of the three Heathers clinging to her so tight. If she moved, then she could potentially disturb them, and the thought made her stomach twist. They deserved to sleep in while they had the chance, it was a Saturday after all. Hell, she could sleep in too, if she wanted to. It wasn’t like she could go anywhere anyways. She closed her eyes and focused on the combined snores of the Heathers, a content smile spreading across her cheeks, before she found herself drifting off into unconsciousness once again.

 

* * *

 

The third time she woke up, Veronica felt hands sliding over her skin, pausing to rest on her chest. They gave a gentle squeeze, thumbs circling her nipples, before she let out a half murmured moan in response. Soft lips pressed to her own, for just a moment, and she cracked one eye open to look at the offender. Once again, she came face to face with Heather McNamara, her grin sloppy and her eyes half closed. She closed her eye for a moment, taking a moment to breathe in before letting it out slow, and opened both eyes. Heather seemed to practically be wiggling in place, energetic and bubbly as always, but her movements were a little sluggish, still half asleep as she was.

“You’re awake,” she mumbled, keeping her voice soft so she wouldn’t wake the other two. Veronica gave a small nod and squeezed Heather against her, enjoying the feeling of their naked bodies pressed together. Really, they both needed a shower, and she needed to find where they’d thrown her clothes to the night before, but she was more interested in holding Heather McNamara against her for now.

“I am,” she mumbled in response, and Heather's giggle made her heart beat faster, if only because she loved the way her face scrunched up, the way her nose wrinkled, the way her cheeks coloured ever so slightly. She leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her forehead, feeling Heather's hands loop around her waist and tug her closer, pulling her away from Heather Chandler's grip.

“Good, cause I was starting to worry about you… Honestly, seeing you cum so hard you passed out, that was really hot, but I was worried maybe we had pushed you too far… But you're awake now, and that's what matters,” Heather McNamara mumbled, burying her face against her shoulder. She held her there, taking in the scent of bubblegum shampoo in Heather's hair, and tried to remember everything that had happened the night before. Had she passed out? She could remember having Heather Chandler's face between her legs, her tongue against her, and that was it. Had she really…

“I really passed out?” she asked softly, and Heather McNamara nodded, her hair tickling her chin. It was a wild mess, after the night before and sleeping on it, but it fit her. Strangely adorable, even when it was sticking out in every direction possible. She figured Heather wouldn't like that though, and shifted to brush some of it away so she could see her face, spotting a few hickeys lining her neck. Oh. She wondered who had left them, and wished she had been awake to have seen it.

“Yeah… You made it long enough to get Heather really worked up, heh… God, I wish you had been awake. Maybe she would have pounced on you instead. My face still feels all sticky… But I don't regret it one bit. I like watching Heather cum and have her pull on my hair,” Heather hummed, her cheeks a little pink as she beamed up at Veronica. It was an adorable sight, and she wanted to kiss her again, but held back, instead squeezing Heather against her and running a hand through her hair slowly.

“So you like having your hair pulled?” she asked calmly, tangling her fingers in her hair. Heather's breath hitched and she let out a slow nod, looking up at Veronica in a way that made her heart flutter. It seemed so innocent and small, and she wanted to both preserve that look and completely destroy it. Without much of a thought towards which she was doing, she pulled Heather's hair, hard enough to tilt her head back and expose more of her neck and the hickeys that dotted it, but not enough to really hurt. Still, it had the same effect she was hoping for, as Heather let out a soft moan, her grip on Veronica tightening.

“V-Veronica,” she mewled, her nails digging into Veronica's back, and making her hiss out softly in surprise. It didn't really hurt or sting, not as Heather Chandler's had the night before, but it made her body heat up all the same. Without much of a thought as to what she was doing, she kissed Heather, holding her against her with one arm, while the one in her hair tugged again, sharp and rough. There was another mewl in response, against her lips this time, and she felt Heather squirming on the spot, could feel her legs pressing together. She pressed her thigh against them then, wanting to help Heather out in any way she could. Heather parted her legs with a weak whimper, and she pressed her knee against her core. She jumped slightly at the contact, and Veronica had to wonder exactly what she had been expecting, before she started grinding on her leg.

It was breathtaking. Feeling every little twitch of Heather's hips as she pressed against her and rocked against her leg, it made heat pool in her own stomach. She broke the kiss and watched Heather let out a weak whine, nails digging in that much deeper into her back. It would suck if she drew blood, but at the same time, Veronica didn't care. The bite of it was enough to get her to pull her hair again, and in response, she earned another mewl. She hadn't really been expecting this to be her morning, but she wasn't going to complain. The feeling of Heather grinding on her was enough to wake her up, enough to keep her going, and she didn't want it to stop any time soon.

“A-again, pl-please Ron-Roni,” Heather sputtered out, her eyes half closed as she looked up at her. There were tears bubbling up already, and she had to wonder exactly how close Heather was, if she was already close to crying. That dam had to break soon. She wanted to see her cry. The thought of seeing how pathetic she had looked last night made it easy to pull her hair again, and the sharp cry that came afterwards was enough to steal her breath away.

“Fuckin' hell, Heather,” came a voice behind her, and she froze, just as Heather Chandler's arms tightened around her waist. She felt her head shift to bury against her shoulder, teeth nipping against her skin, and she wondered how she hadn't noticed that her snoring had stopped before then. It wasn't as if it hadn't been loud before, but Heather's noises had distracted her, had taken her attention away completely, and she hated that they had woken Heather up, when before she had been so intent on letting them all sleep. “Couldn't you have waited until we were all awake… Ugh… God, you're so pathetic…”

“But He-Heather,” Heather McNamara mewled, pressing closer to Veronica's body, and grinding against her thigh. She felt her nails loosening, her hands grabbing at Heather Chandler behind her, and Veronica pulled at her hair, trying to remind her that she was there. She let out a pathetic whine in response, just as the tears that had been bubbling up started streaking her cheeks “She st-started it… A-and I'm already so close… Ca-can I cum?”

Heather Chandler groaned, nuzzling against Veronica, before one of her hands moved. She watched it as it slid down her body and shifted between Heather McNamara's hips and her knee, though the position was a bit awkward. “Fuck, Heather… You're soaked. You can't just let Roni work you up like this if you’re not gonna tell her that you need more to get off.”

“S-sorry,” Heather McNamara gasped, her voice breaking. It was slowly getting higher, and the look on her face made her heart beat faster. Her face was flushed red, her mouth hanging open, and her eyes almost closed as fat tears rolled down her cheeks. She looked absolutely pathetic, like she was about to break, and Veronica wanted nothing more than to protect her, and to let Heather know she was there for her. She settled for squeezing her closer and pressing a kiss to her forehead, before really concentrating on what Heather Chandler had said.

“Wait, what are you talking about Heather?” Veronica said, trying to look at Heather Chandler over her shoulder. Lips pressed to her jawline, working down her neck slowly, and she had to wonder if there was any lipstick left on her lips to be smeared there.

“Heather can't cum more direct attention to her clit, Roni,” Heather Chandler mumbled against her skin, before her teeth dragged down slowly. She resisted the urge to whimper at the feeling, hating that Heather Chandler made her feel so weak already, and she had just woken up. “But keep doing what you're doing. I'm sure if you pull her hair again, she's gonna cum.”

“S-so close,” Heather McNamara whined, her nails scratching down Veronica's back, and she hissed at the sudden sting, before yanking her head back again, pulling her hair hard. Heather squealed and she felt her hips jerk harder against her, for just a brief moment, before she hid her face against her chest and screamed against her skin. She heard another scream fill the air, felt Heather Chandler jerking away, but only paid attention to Heather McNamara, letting her grind on her leg as she rode it out. She was beautiful like this, and Veronica wanted time to take it all in.

Unfortuantely, she didn't have but a few moments more, before muffled curses came from the other side of the bed. She rolled over enough to look behind her, seeing that Heather and Heather were both missing, the sheets dangling off the bed.

“Son of a whore! Way to fucking go, Heather!”

“Ugh, my back… Shut up Heather! It's not my fault Heather screamed! Now get off of me! I can't move with your fat ass on me!”

“Oh, I'm the fat ass? Fuck you! You're the fat bitch that decided to just fucking scream and pull me off the god damn bed! This is all your fucking fault! Forget about getting any pussy tonight, cause if anything, your ass is gonna be on the end of my fucking strap on! So fuck you!”

“Sounds like Heather is awake too,” Heather McNamara mumbled, almost tiredly, and Veronica let go of her, allowing her to sit up. She followed suit and peeked over the side of the bed, finding the two tangled together and attempting to shove each other away. Their voices were gradually getting louder, before Heather Chandler finally tumbled off onto the floor, hitting her head with a dull thunk. “You okay, Heather?”

“Fuck off! I'm gonna take a fucking shower, and none of you are joining me! Try and I'll kick your ass!” she hissed, scrambling upright. Veronica watched as she sauntered off towards Heather McNamara's bathroom, both hands up as she flipped them all off, before the door slammed shut behind her. She instantly missed the view, but shook her head, and looked down at Heather Duke as she stood up, a little shakily, but awake.

“Ugh… Fuck… Good morning, you two. I hope you enjoyed yourselves,” she hissed, and Veronica was quick to glance away, staring down at the sheets. She still wasn't sure what was okay to do with Heather Duke or when it was okay to look, so she kept her gaze averted, even as the bed shifted and Heather McNamara stood next to Heather Duke.

“It was a wonderful start to the day, if I do say so myself. Sorry you fell off the bed though. I hope it didn't hurt too bad,” Heather McNamara hummed, and Veronica sighed as she flopped back, squeezing her eyes shut and ignoring whatever it was the two were talking about. Today was going to be a long day, and it had barely even started.


	15. Heather Chandler's Interlude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Heather Chandler's turn, and we focus on her past with Heather Duke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay, this chapter is... its a hard one guys. theres a lot to list that goes on in this interlude. heather duke is misgendered in text for the first few paragraphs(only bc heather assumes gender based on looks), but it is mentioned that shes misgendered a lot by other people. theres child abuse references, and (kind of?) self harm. if anyone can think of any other warnings i need to give, please tell me, because this chapter is a little rougher than the last interlude.
> 
> also if i got anything wrong?? please tell me????? bc i did a lot of research for this but even then im not perfect. so id love to hear what you guys have to say on this.

When they first meet, they’re barely five years old. She’s come to the bathroom before kindergarten starts, and there she finds a little boy, clutching at his head and sobbing hysterically. His voice is hiccuping and breaking and he’s curled up on the floor by the farthest stall, his face buried in his knees. His hair is cut short, buzzed even, and it looks fresh. None of that is what sticks with her though, more the fact that he’s in the _girl’s_ bathroom. So she storms over, puffs out her cheeks in the most intimidating way she can muster, stomps a foot, and demands to know what a boy is doing in the girl’s bathroom.

“I’m notta boy!” the kid shrieks, jerking to look up at her, and she shrinks back under the cruel glare, reminding her of her parents when she makes a loud noise they don’t like and her nanny isn’t around. “I’m a girl! My name is Heather! No matters what my mommy or tea-… teachers says! I’m notta boy!”

“My name is Heather,” she mumbles quietly in response as she looks the kid in front of her over. They’re wearing shorts, a dark green top, but otherwise don’t really look like a boy… So she holds her hand out to the girl and grins. She knows that the girl in front of her isn’t exactly like the other girls, but she knows she isn’t either. Her daddy reminds her of that almost every night when they play their special game and she isn’t allowed to make a sound when his hands are on her and squeezing parts of her body that make her feel funny. But this little girl in front of her is different in a different way that she is. Still, she doesn’t mind, because they can both be different from the other girls together. “Ya knows what? You’re my new bestest friend, Heather!”

“I am?” she asks, her voice shaking in a way that she knows means she’s about to cry again, and she nods in hopes of quelling the tears before they start. She gives her a bright grin, showing off that one loose tooth in her mouth that feels funny when she touches it, and beams when the girl takes her hand. She pulls her up right, struggling only a little, and grins happily.

“Yeah! We cans be the Heathers!” she giggles, and Heather giggles too, in a weird way that makes her happy to hear. She decides then that she’s going to love that giggle, and instantly wants to hear it again.

 

* * *

 

 

The first time she punches someone, they’re six. Well, she’s six and a half, and Heather is six. Her knuckles sting from the contact and tears are pricking her eyes, but that doesn’t stop her from screaming at the top of her lungs at where Ram is laying on the ground, clutching his cheek in one hand and staring up at her with a fear in his eyes that she so revels in. She didn’t realise how good it felt to have power over someone until then, and realises she isn’t afraid to hit him again. Especially not to protect Heather, from dumb idiots like him, who call her the wrong name and say mean things about her.

“Her name is Heather!” she screams at him, her voice echoing around the playground, and causing the teachers to rush over from where they had been standing, hoping to break up the fight. Behind her, she can hear Heather sobbing from Ram’s mean words, and she doesn’t dare say another word to Ram, since he’s already crying and on the ground like the big dummy he is, turning to face her two best friends. Heather is holding her close, running her fingers through the short fuzz she has of hair, and she’s almost jealous, but she’s happy that their friend is comforting her. She joins the two of them, just as the teachers reach where they’re standing, and stands her ground with puffed out cheeks and clenched fists, because she did the right thing. She knows she did.

Later, the teachers tell the principal, who tells her parents, and she gets a spanking and time out for hitting Ram and calling Heather by her actual name instead of “real” one, but it doesn’t change her mind on Heather. If anything, it forces the point in her mind that she’s going to stand up and protect her, because obviously the dumb adults aren’t going to. What do they know anyways? They still call Heather the wrong name too. Adults are dumb, she decides then, as she’s sent to bed early with no supper, and she’s going to make sure they never get to make Heather feel bad about who she is again.

 

* * *

 

 

The first time Heather and her switch clothes, they’re eight. It’s just a black skirt and her pretty pink bow, but it makes Heather smile, and that’s enough for her. Heather’s hair is a little longer, since her mother hasn’t made her cut it in a while, so she clips it to the side of her head, and gives her the lipgloss she’s been carrying around since she isn’t allowed to wear makeup to school yet. They have to rush to get to class on time before the first bell rings after they get dressed for the second time that day, but the teachers don’t do more than glare disapprovingly once they return, and she’s grateful, since she knows that they could do so much worse. But, Heather is so happy, and that’s enough for her. She would gladly face any punishment they could give her.

It becomes a habit after that, switching clothes around. At first it’s just pants and skirts, but it eventually bubbles into her dresses, her shirts, everything. It gets to the point where Heather starts wearing red and she starts wearing green to school, so they can switch and wear their favourite colours. After school, they always switch back, but during school, it’s enough to make Heather smile, and that’s all she asks for.

Eventually, it turns into sleepovers too, when Heather stays at her house or they both stay at the other Heather’s. She has a spare green nightgown, just for her, and she always has it ready when Heather wants it. When she starts learning how to really do makeup, she does it for Heather as well, so that- even though she doesn’t have long hair- she can still be just as pretty as the other girls.

If her parents notice, they don’t say anything, or just don’t care at this point. They buy her the green dresses, even though she only wears them to school, they buy her extra makeup so she can give it to Heather in secret, and they let Heather wear the nightgown when she’s over. She almost wants to say she’s happy that they’ve accepted Heather, but really, she knows her parents don’t care enough about her to care about her “weird” friend.

 

* * *

 

 

The first time Heather’s voice breaks, they’re twelve. It’s a crackly little whimper, just in the middle of talking at one sleepover, and just like that, she breaks. She’s a sobbing mess, squeezing at her throat with perfectly green nails that they’re going to have to take the colour off of later, but for now, she’s focused on yanking her hands away. She swears at her to stop, holding her green hands in her own, and begs her to stop hurting herself like this, because no matter what others say, she’s still a girl, she’s still Heather to her.

“B-but I hate it! I’m… I don’t sound like a girl! I sound like Ram and Kurt and all the other boys! Maybe I’m just being dumb by saying that I’m a girl,” she mumbles, one hand tugging away to scrub at her eyes, and she can’t help it. She kisses her. It’s brief, for just a split second, but it makes her stomach burn weird all the same. She enjoys the burn it leaves, because it’s a good burn, one she’s never felt before, and it doesn’t even really hit her that she likes kissing girls, likes kissing Heather, until years later.

“Shut up, Heather. You’re a girl. No matter what those idiots say. They’re just… Just complete assholes, who don’t understand. Do you think Kurt and Ram and all the other boys would have your awesome fashion sense? No! Because they’re dumb boys,” she assures her, even sticking her tongue out to prove her point. Heather giggles, and it makes her chest flutter.

“I… I guess you’re right… I’m… Thank you, Heather,” Heather says, and she hugs her tight. It’s almost enough to squeeze her breath away, but she doesn’t mind one bit, hugging Heather back, and giving a small snort.

“Of course, Heather! Now, if you’re really worried about your voice, I’m sure we can find stuff online to help. They probably know how to make it so your voice sounds higher and junk,” she says, and she snatches up her cellphone. Heather nods quietly and together, they spend all night looking up proper ways to change her voice pitch, so that even though it’s breaking, she can still sound how she wants to.

 

* * *

 

The first time she watches Heather get a puberty blocker shot, they’re thirteen. She came with her to hold one hand, and Heather McNamara holds her other. She tries not to look at the needle as the doctor gets it ready, because it makes her skin crawl, even when she’s not the one getting the shot, and instead meets Heather’s eye. There’s fear there, and not a fear she likes to see. It makes her anxious, makes her stomach do flops, and she wants nothing more than to get this over with, for Heather’s sake and her own.

“I can’t believe that this is happening,” Heather mumbles, her voice soft and much more calm that she would have thought she was going to be. She nods along as she tries to gather her wits, knowing that Heather has been wanting these shots since she found out they existed, and has supported her through every argument with her mom about getting them. She’s not allowing estrogen shots, says she never will, but is at least allowing hormone blockers, and that’s enough. She runs her free hand through the few inches of hair Heather has on her head, and finally musters up the will to speak, even though she knows her voice shakes.

“I know… I’m happy for you. I wish you could have gotten these sooner, but hey! You’re getting it now, that’s what’s important. And me and Heather are gonna be here with you for every one of them. Cause you deserve this, even if your mom is all pissy about it. She’s just a bitch.” That makes Heather giggle, and her laugh alone makes her heart soar. She giggles with her, even as the doctor steps closer, the needle ready. She keeps Heather focused on her as much as she can, because she knows it hurts, even if she isn’t aware of exactly how much.

She lets her squeeze her hand, doesn’t even mind the pain all that much, and stays by Heather’s side through it all. She should have got these shots forever ago, but Heather’s mom doesn’t believe Heather when she says she’s a girl. She isn’t even in the room with her then, not as Heather and her held Heather’s hands, so she wouldn’t be alone.

She promises to herself then that she’s never going to let Heather be alone with what she’s going through, and she keeps that promise, even four years later. She’s scrubbing her skin in the hottest temperature that Heather McNamara’s shower allows, washing off the sweat and fluids from the night before, and knows they have to talk to their dear Roni about Heather. While she’s sure she knows, or at least saw the night before that Heather is different, Roni didn’t see her, didn’t see how different she is personally from the other girls, and knows she can use that to her advantage when explaining this to Roni. While she’s got a lot to learn about their relationship, and about them, she’s going to make sure that Heather isn’t alone in explaining it all to Roni. She promises that she won’t be.


	16. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heather McNamara wants to cook pancakes, Heather Duke insists that she's not doing it alone, and Veronica finds a note in her diary.

Veronica barely had time to dress in her normal clothes- as normal as the clothes the Heathers had picked out had become for her anyways- before she was dragged from Heather McNamara’s room, Heather holding one hand and her diary clutched in the other. Heather McNamara was almost bouncing down the stairs, dressed in a pair of sweatpants, a plastic bee necklace, and an overly large T-shirt- what she had called “lazy day wear”- and Veronica wouldn’t dare admit that she missed the sight of her skirt flying up and showing off her underwear with every step of the stairs.

Heather Duke followed behind them, wearing a pair of baggy shorts and a shirt a couple sizes too big. She had never seen the Heathers so casual, and wondered if they had intended to wear those, even if she hadn’t agreed to a trial run. Did they even know she had? She couldn’t remember telling them, but she had passed out in the middle of the night before. Maybe Heather Chandler had? What had happened after she had passed out? She would have to ask them, she decided, and looked to Heather McNamara to do so, only to find Heather already looking at her.

“Veronica, do you like pancakes?” Heather McNamara asked, perched on the bottom step, staring up at her with wide and innocent eyes. She gave a small nod, and watched her curious expression blossom into one of pure joy, before she jumped off the last step, tugging Veronica down a step. “Awesome! I can totally make those!”

“No you can’t. The last time you tried, you burned them black. The time before that, they weren’t done in the middle and Heather gagged when she bit into one. Can’t I cook today?” Heather Duke groaned, and Heather McNamara pouted. She let go of Veronica’s hand to cross her arms over her chest, her bottom lip sticking out pitifully. Jeez, how could she be such a ruthless bitch, and yet still be adorable? Veronica didn’t understand. Maybe it was just part of being a Heather. They were all cold and heartless bitches to everyone else but, out of the prying eyes of the world, they were adorable. It wasn’t fair.

“But Heeeaaather, I want to cook something special for Ron-Ron and you guys! Can’t I like, at least try? Please?” Heather McNamara whined, her voice hitting a high note, and fat tears appearing in the corner of her eyes. Heather Duke groaned and she watched her run a hand through her hair, messing up the little bit of it that had maintained the normal structure. Seeing her bed-headed, her eyes still sleepy, and dried drool on her chin, Veronica found herself wanting to kiss her, but refrained, stepping the rest of the way off the stairs instead.

“Fuck… I know I’m going to regret this, but fine… You can cook. But! I’m helping. You’re definitely not doing this alone again,” Heather Duke grumbled, before Heather McNamara let out a squeal. Her arms were wrapped around her neck in seconds, their lips smashed together at an awkward angle for just a moment, before she pulled back and tugged Heather Duke down the stairs the rest of the way.

“Yes! Thank you, Heather! I promise that you won't have to help at all, I can totally do this this time! I've been practising!” Heather McNamara squealed, bouncing up and down happily. Veronica watched her, quite happy to see Heather McNamara so happy, and barely held back a snicker when her plastic bee smacked her in the mouth. She let out a distressed noise and grabbed the necklace, before it was popped in her mouth, and her bouncing continued, just on the tips of her toes.

“Uh huh. Let's just get this over with before Heather finishes her shower, huh?” Heather Duke sighed, her voice still dripping with a weird affection that Veronica barely picked up on. She watched Heather McNamara nod, and the two started off towards where she assumed the kitchen to be. She started to follow, then paused and bit her bottom lip, unsure. Was she supposed to follow them? Had they forgot she was there? What was she supposed to do?

She awkwardly cleared her throat, and Heather Duke turned to look at her, a brow quirked. “What um… Where do you…?” she started, but stopped herself, not entirely sure on what she was going to say. Heather Duke gave her a small smile regardless, one that she wasn't even entirely sure she actually saw seconds later, before she nodded in the direction of where the two of them had been walking.

“Kitchen's this way. They've got a bar, you can pull up a seat and watch if you want. I wouldn't suggest wandering off too far though, Heather's parents are probably around, and they don't like being reminded of their daughter,” Heather Duke said, and Heather McNamara seemed to deflate at the mention of her parents. The bee slid out of her mouth and she turned away from the two of them, before she started tugging Heather Duke off once again, though her bounce was missing.

“Mom and Dad would hate to find you wandering around the house. They hate _me_ wandering around the house, so I cant imagine how they'd react to seeing you, since they've never even met you before,” Heather McNamara mumbled, soft enough she barely heard her. She followed behind the Heathers, a few steps behind, and gave a small nod, before realising that neither of them could see her, so they hadn't seen her nod. Oops.

“Alright,” was what she said instead, hoping that it conveyed that she understood. It almost bothered her that none of the Heathers' parents had seemed to care about meeting her, when her own had been ecstatic to learn their daughter had made new friends. They had insisted on meeting them, and despite the Heathers acting as horrible as usual, they had let them stay for dinner and done their best to treat the Heathers like they were their own kids, even if they had admitted to her later that they had liked Martha more. Clutching the diary close to her chest, she decided that maybe now was the best time to say anything. “Your parents aren't uh… Aren't really around a lot, huh?”

“Oh, my parents are here almost all the time. They're probably here right now. They just like me to be quiet and stay out of their way,” Heather McNamara said, without turning around. There was something in her voice that Veronica didn't quite understand, and it reminded her of listening to her talk about the weather. Like it was a casual thing, something everyone knew and understood. Like it was a fact, that every parent wanted to forget their kid existed.

“Heather's mom and dad don't like us being here too much either, but as long as we stick to the den, kitchen, and Heather's room, they tend to let it go. No big messes, and we stay out of their way. That's the agreement,” Heather Duke told her, glancing back at her. There was a glint in her eye that Veronica didn't quite understand, but she slowly nodded anyways, knowing that it was better to drop the topic than to ask why her parents didn't want their daughter around.

“Okay. Er. That's fine. Next sleepover, if you guys want, we could stay at my house maybe? I know it's not what you guys are used to, and I'll probably have to see if we have a blow up mattress or something, cause my bed isn't as big as Heather McNamara's or Heather Chandler's, but we'd have free reign of the house,” she offered, and Heather McNamara perked up again, a slight bounce in her step at the thought.

“That sounds cool! I can stay tonight, but Heather and Heather have a date, and our next group date is Sunday! Um… I mean… If you're… If you're okay with us having a date night tonight too. Heather said we needed to talk about this more, so that's okay if you don't want to,” she said, and Veronica felt her cheeks starting to colour. Group date? Was that what last night had been? And every other group sleepover? Had she been intruding on their dates?

“I… Uh...” she started, but was cut off.

“Heather, we should really wait for Heather before we talk about this any more,” Heather Duke interrupted, just as Heather McNamara pushed open the door to the kitchen. Veronica took a moment to marvel at the sight, amazed at the huge kitchen that was twice the size of her own, before Heather McNamara gave a small huff and distracted her, drawing attention to that adorable pout of hers again.

“Fiiiine. But I want to start cooking now. Can we please do that?” she whined, and Heather Duke rolled her eyes, starting towards the fridge and waving a hand towards the cabinet as she went. Veronica watched, slightly intrigued, as she started pulling things out of the fridge, and had to wonder if this was a regular occurrence between the three of them. She hadn't seen any of them cook before. Was this something they did when she wasn't around?

“Get the bowls and shit out, Heather. 'ronica, feel free to take a seat at the bar now, unless you want to fight Miss Priss with me,” Heather Duke said, her head in the fridge as she looked around, and Veronica blinked, looking over to where Heather McNarama was digging through a cabinet for a bowl. Veronica wasn't exactly all that good at cooking herself, so she hung back, knowing that it would only end in disaster if she tried to help.

“Oh uh, I'll just… Stay out of your way,” she mumbled, though she wasn't sure Heather Duke heard her. Either way, she didn't say another word, and Veronica went over to the bar, pulling out one of the stools before sitting down. She sat her diary down on the immaculately clean counter and flipped through to the last entry, the rushed one about what had happened between her and Heather Duke, and bit her lip. She had a lot to cover to make sure the rest of her day as covered. With a sigh, she flipped to the next page and took her pen off of the cover, knowing it would probably take more than what was left on the last page to cover the entirety of what had happened. However, she stopped dead in her tracks upon noticing the note that sat there.

While the rest of her diary had been written in her favourite blue pen, this one was written in black. It was the same scratchy hand writing that had been on the note in her locker the day before, and the note itself took up the entire page. Knowing someone had seen her diary sent the same feeling of panic through her that she had felt when she had discovered that someone had broken into her locker, but this was different. It was much more intense. This was her entire life. They had to have known every thing she had thought, every thing she had written down, every entry since she had switched to the new book. She hadn't even read what the note had said yet, and already her chest felt tight, the balloon inside of it swelling once more. She tried to fight it down, refusing to break down in front of the Heathers again, and refusing to have a panic attack in Heather McNamara's kitchen, and tried to focus on the note.

' _DONT WORRY. I DIDNT READ ANYTHING. I JUST HAD TO MAKE SURE YOU SAW THIS. WHERE BETTER THAN YOUR DIARY? LISTEN. IVE SEEN Y_ _O_ _U AROUND SCHOOL A FEW TIMES, I KNOW YOURE DIFFERENT FROM YOUR FRIENDS. GIVE ME A TEXT SOMETIME._ ' Underneath the note was a phone number, in the same black pen as the rest of the note. She read it over twice more before she slumped in the stool, letting out a sigh she hadn't realised she had been holding in. They hadn't read her diary. They hadn't. The balloon in her chest deflated at once, leaving her exhausted, but not as much as that phone number did.

Could she trust the number? What if it was a scheme to kidnap her? Well. It hadn't said that they had to meet up, just to text some time. Had it been the same boy who had watched Heather Duke drag her into the janitor's closet? He had been pretty cute, even if he was new, and he had been the last one who had been around her diary… What harm could it do? It wasn't like he knew where she lived, and besides, she wasn't even at home right then anyways. So, she pulled her phone out from her bra, and sent the number a quick text.

 

 **Veronica Sawyer:** hello?

 **Veronica Sawyer:** is this the right number? im looking for the guy who was nice enough to put my bag in my locker for me and put his number in my diary?

 

She waited for a few minutes, staring at the screen expectedly, as if he was going to text back right away. When no immediate response came, she sighed and looked up at Heather and Heather, wondering if she should tell them about what had happened. She watched Heather McNamara as she stirred the batter, her plastic bee being chewed on rather vigorously, while Heather Duke leaned back against the counter. They looked so happy together, so content, and she couldn't bring it in herself to ruin that with something dumb like a note someone had left in her diary.

Heather McNamara suddenly paused in her lively stirring and looked up to Heather Duke slowly, the spoon still stuck in the batter. She straightened up, and before Heather Duke could say a word, she had a streak of pancake batter swiped across her nose. There was a pause as she tried to look at the liquid dripping off her nose, before she started laughing. It was a beautiful thing, not mocking or full of hate, but a genuine laugh, that tumbled free easily, and made Veronica's heart swell. She watched Heather McNamara beam, a small giggle falling free, before Heather Duke stuck two fingers in the bowl. She swiped them across Heather McNamara's face, streaking from one cheek to the other, and laughed again.

Leaning back on the stool, Veronica couldn't help but smile as Heather Duke roared with laughter, and Heather McNamara made a few noises around her bee. They seemed so relaxed, so content… She liked this. Seeing this side of them, instead of the bitches they were at school, was amazing. It made her want to stay in that moment forever, to listen to Heather Duke's laugh, to see Heather McNamara eagerly chewing on her bee necklace, to know that she could be a part of this. She could give it a couple weeks, and if this didn't stop, if the moments like these didn't stop being beautiful, then she could see this being her life. She could say yes. Could be part of them, for more than just a trial run.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter was supposed to FINALLY be the chapter youve all been waiting for, but i kinda lost what i was doing bc of some personal shit, so. itll be within the next two i promise.


	17. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heather Chandler comes back from her shower, and finally, they talk about everything that's happened.

Before too long, the scent of the cooking pancakes filled the air. It made her stomach growl, and she was reminded that she had skipped dinner yesterday, having been too strung out from the day to eat anything, and having passed out after getting to Heather McNamara’s. The thought of food had made her stomach turn, but now, she regretted not at least eating something. Hell, all she had ate the day before had been the cafeteria’s substandard lunch, and even then, she had barely choked it down, her stomach in knots.

The memory made her grateful that Heather and Heather were cooking breakfast, instead of just tossing a granola bar at her and running out the door like normal. Then again, today wasn’t a normal day with the Heathers. It wasn’t what she was used to in the slightest. They weren’t dressed up, weren’t bickering over school, and weren’t at her throat. They were… happy. Content. The thought made her heart flutter, and she couldn’t hide a smile, even if she had wanted to. She liked seeing them happy.

She watched as Heather McNamara bounced on the tip of her toes, dangerously close to the open flame of the gas stove, but didn’t seem to mind one bit, humming softly. She couldn’t see her face, not from where she sat, but she was sure she had the plastic bee in her mouth again, and wondered what that was about. Maybe it was something she didn’t understand. It was something else she felt rude asking about, and decided it would be better not to.

“Heather! Flip ‘em! They’re burning!” Heather Duke groaned from where she stood beside the stove, arms crossed over her chest. She had tried to grab a spatula earlier, but Heather McNamara had slapped her hand away, begging her to let her do it, and she had uneasily relented. Now, she seemed to be regretting it, looking ready to snatch the spatula from Heather McNamara’s hand and do it herself. “Come on, don't just stand there!”

“Okay, okay! I’m flipping them! You don’t have to yell!” Heather McNamara whined in return, and she could see her moving the pan and heard the spatula scratch against it. She guessed she was trying to flip them over, and couldn’t help but smile, before cold hands clamped over her eyes. For a moment, she panicked and flailed about, not quite understanding what was going on, before she heard a sharp snort of a chuckle from behind her.

“Guess who,” Heather Chandler cooed, right against her ear, and she couldn’t help but shiver. She slowly let out a sigh, relaxing back against the stool, and leaned into Heather’s arms. She felt her grip slacken slightly, but her arms didn’t move, content over her eyes. She knew she was waiting on a response, but wasn’t too sure what response she wanted to give her, and instead gave a small hum, as if thinking it over. She heard Heather let out an annoyed noise, just barely so really, and smirked despite herself.

“Oh, I don’t know… Is it Heather? I thought you were cooking pancakes,” she said, making sure her voice held the same tone it always did when she was talking about Heather McNamara. Over the last two weeks, she had picked up on their habit of referring to them all by Heather, but she had also picked up on the undertones of their voices. With a certain way they said each other’s names, it was easy to figure out exactly which one they were talking about. She hardly even got confused anymore, and had picked her own way of saying their name for each of them. For Heather McNamara, it was always a certain warmth to her voice, because she knew that was the perfect way to describe her. Even if she was still a bitch, she was the nicest Heather. The warmest of the three.

“No,” Heather Chandler huffed. She obviously hadn’t expected Veronica to take the game this way, and that in itself was enough to make her keep the game going. This was a little way she could annoy her, without having to worry about Heather reprimanding her later. Hopefully not. If she did, well, it wouldn’t be too bad. She hoped. Maybe their new relationship status would help her escape the wrath that might come as a result. Would what they had even be considered a relationship? What would it be called? Maybe-temporary-girlfriends? She decided not to dwell on the thought for too long.

“Heather? Aren’t you supposed to be helping Heather and making sure she doesn’t burn her house down?” The tone this time was different, if a little cold. Heather Duke had been nothing but cold to her when she had joined their clique, and as a result, she had been cold back. The infliction still hung in her tone, because it was easier to keep it the way it was than try to change it. If she did, then they’d have no clue which one of them she meant, and that would be a certain type of hell she wasn’t interested in.

“Try again,” Heather said, her nails thrumming against her skin. It was almost threatening, knowing they could easily cut her, but all the same, she couldn’t help but revel in her annoyance. It was a small thing, but it was something she had caused, and it wasn't boiling anger that threatened to eat her alive, but instead, a soft spot of annoyance, that she was allowing her to press on.

“Oh! Mrs. McNamara?” she asked, and the annoyed chuff that Heather gave in response made her heart swell. She couldn't hold back her enjoyment anymore, and it slipped free in a snort, that turned into a full out laugh, heartfelt and deep. The same one that she was self-conscious of, and yet, it came so easy now, making her head thrum in excitement.

“Fucking, oh my god, Veronica. I hate you,” Heather growled, and her hands moved away from her eyes, allowing her to once again see the kitchen. She swivelled around on the stool to face Heather Chandler, finding her arms crossed over her chest, and couldn't help grinning at her face. She was so cute when she was annoyed. Not pissed, or really even angry, but irritated at her antics all the same. “I really fucking hate you.”

Without thinking about it, she looped her arms around Heather Chandler's waist and pulled her against her, adoring the surprised squeak she got in return. She had never heard Heather Chandler _squeak_ before, and knowing that she had drew it out of her made her feel bold. Bold enough to rest her chin on her chest, looking up into her eyes and enjoying the way her damp hair fell around her head. She was glorious, stunning, and simply glorious, and Veronica was glad to be allowed to hold her against her.

“Aw, you don't really mean that, do you Heather?” she cooed, and watched Heather's cheeks darken, turning a glorious shade of pink that she wanted desperately to kiss. There was the same tone in her voice that she always used when referring to Heather Chandler, one of almost awe, and even if it hadn't been obvious which one she had been talking to before then, it was now. Heather Chandler was stiff in her arms before she said her name, almost glaring, but seemed to melt at hearing the way she said her name, her arms slipping free from her sides with a frustrated groan.

“No. As much as I want to say I do, I don't hate you,” she sighed, relaxing against Veronica. She put one hand on her cheek, running her thumb along it slowly. Veronica couldn't help but nuzzle into her touch. It was warm in a way that Heather Chandler normally wasn't, and she wanted to enjoy it while it was there. However, it didn't last too long, before her nails pricked against her skin, threatening to dig in and draw blood, and holding her face there. She looked up at her innocently, seeing a darkness in Heather's eyes that told her she could break her if she wanted to, by just applying a bit more pressure, and she knew it. When she spoke, Veronica felt shivers run down her spine. “But you know that, you cunt wipe. That's not what today is about though. Not really. No, we need to talk. All of us.”

“I know Heather,” she breathed, and her thumb tapped against her cheek bone. It was a gentle tap in comparison to the nails biting against her skin, but it only lasted for a moment more before Heather let go of her cheek. She pulled away, and Veronica let her, her arms falling back to her sides, limp and missing Heather's warm body against her own.

“Good girl,” she cooed, barely even looking at Veronica out of the corner of her eye as she walked away from the bar. She went over to the stove instead, where Heather and Heather were watching. Her cheeks coloured as she realised they had seen it all, but they didn't seem to care, their attention focused on Heather Chandler. She watched the three of them loop together, hiding their faces from her, and knew exactly what they were up to. She had seen them do this before.

Whenever the Heathers looped together, allowing no one to see their faces or hear their voices, it meant trouble. They were planning something. Plotting something. It was dangerous, and Veronica had learned to be incredibly cautious when they broke apart, because she had no clue what they were up to. Even now, with everything weighing on her mind, she wasn't sure what they were going to do. It was surely related to their relationship, but she wasn't entirely sure how. Just as she started to wonder what hell they could drag her into, they broke apart, and all three moved, synchronised, to the bar. They stood around her, circling her like a hungry pride of lions, and she felt trapped.

“Listen, Roni. There's some shit we need to discuss first, before we start talking about the trial run. For one, if you try to reveal what we have to anyone in the school, then we'll deny it. We'll tell everyone you're a raging dyke who tried to kiss us- all of us, too- and by the time we'll be done with you, not even Martha Dumptruck will touch you with a ten foot pole. You'll be so low on the social pyramid, that you'll be basically underground. This relationship stays between us. No one else is allowed to know about it. Got it?” Heather Chandler asked, and she couldn't help but nod. It felt like they were closing in on her, and she tried not to focus on it, instead trying to listen to what they had to say.

“I got it,” she said, her voice weak, and Heather Chandler seemed content with that, crossing her arms over her chest. She was intimating once again, no longer the Heather Chandler that had her face between her legs the night before, and no longer the Heather Chandler she had held against her moments ago. She was back to being the queen bee, the almighty bitch.

“Good! Secondly, none of us are cis. That's something else that stays between us, or you'll be licking scum off our heels for the rest of the damn year, in hopes we'll give you the fucking time of day, or that other bottom feeder will look at you. A lot of people already know about Heather, because of fucking course they do, her mom wouldn't let her transition as a kid because she's a bitch, but that doesn't mean that we're gonna let people call her fucking names or go around talking about it.”

“W-wait, what's… What's cis mean?” she asked, and there was something that flickered over all of their faces. She recognised that look. It was the same look they had given her when she had asked why she couldn't hang out with Martha anymore. They thought she was being stupid, that it was an obvious fact, and that she was as dumb as they came. She shrunk under their hateful gaze, hating how it made her chest tighten.

“Jesus fucking Christ, Veronica. Do you know jack shit?” Heather Chandler snapped, and she pressed back against the stool, hating how small she felt. Just as Heather Chandler opened her mouth to speak again- more than likely to degrade her to a greater extent- Heather Duke spoke up, and interrupted whatever she was about to say.

“Heather, I honestly don't think she knows. We… We really have to be nicer to her if we want her to join us. Not everyone is educated on stuff like this,” she sighed, and Heather Chandler slumped, her gaze anywhere but Veronica. She felt her chest loosening as she looked to Heather Duke, and Heather Duke met her gaze, seeming to understand that she was distressed. “'ronica, cis means that you identify with the gender you were assigned at birth and match up to it perfectly. I'm trans. You know what that means, right?”

“Right,” she mumbled in agreement, at least understanding that part. Heather Duke was trans, and that meant she didn't identify with the what she had been born as. Veronica knew that. That was simple. She couldn't really remember knowing the Heathers as kids, not enough to remember much anyways, and couldn't remember ever thinking of Heather Duke as anything but the girl she was.

“Good, because I'd hate to have to explain that… So, there's… Different kinds of trans, because there's different types of genders. For instance, someone can be between genders, or have no gender at all. There's a lot of different terms, and it's honestly too much to go over everything right now. You should look more into it later, because it's a lot to understand, and while I'm trying my best to explain it, there's a lot I'm leaving out.”

“Okay… I'll look more on it up later. Um, after I leave, I guess. If I have any questions…?” she started, trailing off weakly, and Heather Duke gave a small shrug, seeming to at least understand where she was going with what she had been trying to say.

“Ask us in the group chat or something. We'll do our best to answer them and help you understand. Right guys?” Heather Duke asked, and the other two Heathers echoed her at once, agreeing that they'd help. She relaxed against the stool at that, not quite realising how tense she had been until they had said they'd help. It made her feel better to know that they didn't hate her for not understanding, and would answer any questions she couldn't figure out on her own. However, something was digging at the back of her mind, not quite making sense to her.

“Can I… Ask a question now?” she asked hesitantly, looking over the three of them, and Heather Chandler snorted, giving her a lopsided smile that put her at ease, knowing that she wasn't actually pissed. The façade was broken, snapped like that, and she wasn't even sure what she had done to break it. Not really.

“You just did,” Heather Chandler said, something warm sparkling in her eyes that might have been affection, before she waves a hand, dismissing what she had previously said. “But go on ahead and ask what you want, as long as it's not something a total dick would say.”

“How are Heather and Heather not cis? I'm not trying to be rude, I promise. I just… Want to understand better,” she said hesitantly, worried that she was going to come across as rude anyways. She didn't mean to, really, but she didn't exactly understand. There was something she seemed to be missing, but she wasn't exactly sure what it was, and wanted to help understand them to the best of her ability.

“I'm intersex, Roni,” Heather Chandler said, then paused. Upon seeing the look of confusion on her face, she sighed. “Means my pussy doesn't exactly look like yours or Heather's. I'm identify as a girl, but I look different than you or Heather, and different from Heather too. You would have known that if you hadn't passed out like a total pillowcase last night, I could have shown you. Instead, you're gonna have to wait and see whenever I decide to let you see what you're missing out on.”

“And I'm a demigirl!” Heather McNamara piped up, and she turned to look at her, confused as to what she meant. Heather McNamara gave her a small smile, seeming to understand that she was confused. “That means I'm mostly a girl, but there's still sometimes I'm not. Like, um. Okay. Let's say you paint your nails blue, and you put like, yellow spots on them. They're still mostly blue, but they do have yellow spots. That's kind of what I am, ya know? Mostly a girl, but sometimes I'm not. Does that make sense?”

“Yeah, I uh… I think so. I'm trying to understand anyways,” she sighed, running a hand through her hair and closing her eyes. That was all a lot to take it, and while they had explained it, she was still a bit confused. She figured she would have to look it up more to understand it, and that would have to wait. Arms wrapped around her shoulders and startled her from her thoughts. She cracked an eye open to peek at the body pressed against her own, and met Heather McNamara's eyes.

“It's okay if you don't. We'll do our best to make sure you understand if you want,” Heather McNamara said, her eyes shining brightly, and Veronica nodded, leaving into her grip. “Do you have any questions we can answer for you?”

“No, I don't think so. I think I'm good for now,” she sighed, still trying to take it all in. It was a lot, knowing that the Heathers weren't who she thought they were. She was still reeling that they were all dating, and that she was going to be a part of this. All this new information was making her head hurt.

“Good. Do you want to talk about us now? The trial run of our relationship anyways?” Heather McNamara asked, and she nodded, looking to the other two. Heather Duke was the first one to step closer, wrapping her arms around Veronica as well, and it didn't take long for Heather Chandler to join as well, pulling them all close. “Okay. How long do you want the trial run to last? Do you want us to be… Girlfriends? Or do you prefer something else?”

“The rest of the month, maybe? Just for the next couple weeks. If things don't work out, then we can still be friends, right?” They all nodded and she leaned into their touch, finding it comforting to have them all holding her close. It at least made things a little easier, made the balloon in her chest slowly deflate. She could at least relax for now. “I think that being girlfriends sounds nice. Even if it may be temporary, I do want to try things out with you guys, and see if we can make it work. But! You guys can't keep be separated from my friends anymore, okay? That's… It's really unhealthy, really abusive. If we're going to make this work, then I want to be able to see my friends. Martha included.”

“Ugh… Alright, fine, you can still be friends with Martha Dumptruck again, but not in public,” Heather Chandler groaned, but before she could say much else, Heather Duke kissed her, effectively silencing her, before she turned back to look at Veronica, a certain kindness in her eyes she had never seen directed at her before then. It made her heart soar, and she wanted desperately to kiss her then, but held back.

“The rest of the month, sure. We can do that. As long as you're happy being our friends if it doesn't work out, then I think we will be too,” Heather Duke hummed, and she nodded slowly. However, her stomach growled loudly a second later, reminding her that she hadn't eaten anything since lunch the day before, and her cheeks coloured. Her blush only got darker when she heard the Heathers snickering, and felt Heather Duke pulling away. “I think that means it's time to eat.”

“Finally. I'm starving,” Heather Chandler groaned, pulling away to sit next to Veronica on the empty stool. She leaned against her as Heather McNamara squealed and followed after Heather Duke, bouncing on the tips of her toes after her.

“Hold on! I want to help! You said I could do it!” Heather McNamara chirped, and Veronica couldn't help but smile. Things felt simple then, at ease between them all, and it made her heart flutter. She could enjoy this, could enjoy the simple moment between the four of them, knowing that this could be the next couple weeks of her life. Maybe even longer. They could be her support system, could be her life, could be everything she wanted. This could work out. It could be beautiful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i really hate how this chapter came out, bc it feels like an exposition dump to me, but i hope you guys like it anyways,,,,,,


	18. Heather Duke's Interlude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heather Duke's and Heather McNamara's relationship is explored a bit more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'another interlude? already? what about the plot?' you cry, and i shrug. i had the inspiration for it, and it felt like a good place to put it.
> 
> its another heavy chapter, with eating disorders, child abuse, and child neglect. this one talks about heather dukes bulmia a bit, though its never given a name or written too expressively. this is another chapter that, if i did wrong, i really want to know about. just be fair warned, this is heavy shit. not happy and light like last chapter. kind of a short interlude but w/e, enjoy, and let me know what you think. please?
> 
> EDIT: AHHHH WHY DOES MY COMPUTER NOT WANT TO FORMAT CORRECTLY ANYMORE, IM SO SORRY FOR BEFORE GUYS!

They were maybe ten, the first time that Heather caught her throwing up. Anymore, she isn't sure, because time is such a weird concept for her, is so skewered, but she knows that they were young. Lunch hadn't even finished yet, not really, and she had broken after from the other two to go to the bathroom- the one in the nurse's office, because it's easier to avoid anyone there, and the school prefers she goes there, and she hadn't even known that Heather had followed her until she had shoved her finger down the back of her throat, had gagged around it, and Heather had gasped.

“Heather!” she had squealed, and was there in seconds, her arms around her waist, and she would have froze up, had she not been a little preoccupied with emptying everything she had just ate into the toilet bowl. It doesn't stop until she's dry heaving, because that's how her body is, because once she starts, it doesn't stop, until everything is out, and her throat aches. She grabs the toilet bowl and her shoulders quake, but not as much as Heather is shaking behind her, her arms around her stomach and her head on her back.

There's some sputtering, when Heather tries to ask about it. It's a shaky sort of sputtering, one that says Heather doesn't understand, and she can't even begin to explain to her why she's doing it. She can't explain that her body doesn't match up to what it should- more than she's always felt, more than she's felt since she was young enough to understand that the word 'boy' was wrong- and she can't explain that it isn't recent, that this is something that's been going on for a few months now, probably. Since before her dad told her he was having a new baby with someone that wasn't her mom, but some time after her mom shaved her head last.

Instead, she quietly tells her that she just felt sick, and knew that getting out of her system would help. So Heather shakes against her back and nods, and it's a scared kind of nod that makes her hate that Heather has caught her. She swears to herself to be more careful from then on, but instead tells Heather that it'll be okay, because it's a one time thing. She hates lying to her, but there's a voice in the back of her head telling her to keep it to herself, because she isn't going to understand.

 

* * *

 

 

They're twelve the first time Heather catches her not eating all day. She knows this one, because it was Heather's twelfth birthday party. Heather has a huge cake, has invited almost everyone in their class, and she had sat next to her the entire party, not touching anything that she was given, besides a cup of water that some adult- not one of Heather's parents, because they're nowhere to be seen- had given her when they saw she hadn't touched the punch. None of the adults seemed to notice Heather's parents being absent like usual or her not eating, and it's not the first time for either, but this time, she's spent all day with Heather, and can't lie and tell her that she's eaten breakfast at home and she's not hungry, because she stayed the night at her house the night before, and she didn't eat breakfast either.

Heather watches her from the corner of her eye, the entire party, even when the other kids are playing some of the dumb party games Heather really likes, and she tries telling her to go play, because she knows Heather wants to, but Heather says she's fine. Heather tries to insist so, and pushes a plate of cake towards her, in a way that made her stomach turn, and she sips at the water again, insisting she wasn't hungry. Heather scowls, a glint in her eyes that threatened something she wasn't quite sure of, before someone yells about the piñata.

Heather drags her off to go take turns hitting it, and she goes first, because she's the birthday girl. The voice in the back of her head holds her back until she's last, because she doesn't deserve the chance to hit at it, and when she finally does, she makes sure to swing where she knows it isn't. Heather still congratulates her attempt all the same, and she gives her a small smile with her thanks. She watches her go again, watches her crack it open, and watches the candy spill. She watches the other kids scramble to gather as much as they can, and she hangs back, not wanting anything.

It isn't until Heather comes up to her afterwards, two handfuls full of the sweets, and shoves some towards her, does she realise she had seen her not get any at all. She quietly takes them, and meets Heather's eyes. There's a challenge there, and she doesn't like what she sees, doesn't like that Heather seems to know more than she's letting on, and she makes sure she keeps eye contact with her as she unwraps a piece and pops it in her mouth. Heather doesn't relax until she sees her swallow, and then they're off again, for more party games, and she tries to ignore how weak she feels, how the voice in the back of her head is growling at her.

 

* * *

 

 

They're maybe fourteen, maybe, when Heather hands her a calendar for the first time. She hasn't told her anything about the way her cheeks feel swollen, about the way everything aches, about how sluggish and weak she feels, but she knows Heather knows, and instead of trying to figure out the calendar on her own, she meets her eyes, her own drooping tiredly, and Heather points to the current date, which is coloured a bright and obnoxious yellow that's obviously from a highlighter.

“I made a schedule for our sleepovers. My parents already approved it, and Heather says she'll talk to hers about it. Tonight, if you want, you're staying at my house, if your mom is okay with it too,” she explains, like it's completely normal, and she looks over it. The next box is a dingy brown, followed by a blank one. Then it's brown, red, brown, white, brown, and yellow again. From then, it repeats again. She can figure out the red is for Heather, the white is nights alone, and guesses the browns are for group sleepovers, and she just nods, hating the way the voice in the back of her head roars at her to rip it up because she can't hide what's going on if she's with them every night.

“I'll talk to my mom,” she says, and she knows her mother won't care. Her mother hasn't cared in a long time, since the first time she knocked her into a table, everything went black, and she woke up a few hours later in her bed. Her mother hasn't cared since before the back of her throat constantly burned, since before she started skipping meals all day, only to eat it all at once and erase the evidence later. Her mother hasn't cared since the voice in her head stopped yelling just about the word 'boy' and started yelling about her weight.

Still, she asks, shows her the paper, and explains it all. Her mother scoffs and tells her they aren't staying at their house, and she just quietly agrees. Heather and Heather never stay at her house, and they're all aware of that. Her house is off limits, always has been, and always will be. Besides. Her house is a special kind of hell. Her house is one of hidden bruises, of razors taken to her head while she cries, of skipped meals. And she doesn't want them here.

They never ask to come over anyways. They always invite her over, and for that, she's grateful. Even when it's just the three of them in Heather's empty house, because her parents are gone again and have left her alone, have left her to fend for herself for the weekend, they still have fun, because it's the three of them together. That night is no different, just the two of them, and it reminds her of the first time she came over to Heather's house to find her alone, and even then, they were barely seven. Heather had said it wasn't a big deal, that they did it all the time, and something in the back of her head told her that was wrong. Still, she didn't say anything about her parents always ignoring her, just like Heather doesn't say anything about her avoiding food or the bruises under her clothes.

 

* * *

 

 

They're fifteen, or freshly sixteen maybe, when Heather confronts her. They've been a thing with each other and Heather, a something, for a few months, and things have been better. She still gets the calendars, on the first day of every month, still has the voice in the back of her head screaming at her constantly, but it's been something better, since the first time Heather kissed her, since she had pinned her down, since she had explained that she had really did like her, that both of her best friends did. But all good things come to an end, and the voice is louder, louder, screaming and ripping at her ears, and she feels like she's falling apart once again, something she's been trying to fix for too many years to count now, fixing it alone, but now, Heather is crying, and she can't help it. She cries too.

Heather begs her to talk to her, to stop skipping meals again- yes, she's noticed by the way! She isn't as sneaky as she thinks- to stop throwing up after lunch when she does eat, to let her in. She breaks down in a sobbing mess, and tries to tell Heather about the voice in the back of her head, about how it's constantly telling her she isn't good enough, but instead, she tells her about her mom, tells her about the bruises that she's got too used to hiding as a kid, and collapses against Heather.

Heather holds her and tells her it's okay, it's okay, it's okay, but they both know it isn't. Both of their homes are horribly broken places, her own of beatings and screaming, while Heather's is one of absences and stretched silence. For them, things won't be okay for a couple more years, when they can finally leave the hell holes that they call home, and she tries, she really tries, to tell Heather how bad things are at her own, but she kisses her, and tells her she knows. Heather knows that things are bad, because she isn't stupid- that's exactly what she says- as she holds her and runs her fingers through her hair, and tells her that she knows things are bad, but together, they can all make it better, and together, they can make a home that's not so broken.

Together.

Together, they sit half tangled in each other's laps and perched between two stools that are pulled close, their pancakes in front of them. Veronica is on her phone, so she doesn't notice, but Heather notices the way she hesitates, notices the look in her eyes, and offers to feed her instead, quiet enough that Veronica can't hear, and she relents, because that's easier than doing it herself, easier than fighting the crashing waves of voices in the back of her head, because saying no to Heather is harder.


	19. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Veronica texts, and her girlfriends get annoyed.

Veronica was perched half in Heather Duke's lap, and half in Heather Chandler's, as the movie played across the screen. Earlier, they had finished their pancakes- which were only _slightly_ burned, much to Heather McNamara's enthusiasm- and had moved to the dark den, where the Heathers had turned off the lights and turned on Mean Girls, and they'd curled up together. Heather McNamara sat next to her in their half curled positions, legs intertwined, and more on Heather Chandler's lap, while she was more on Heather Duke's. It still left enough room for the two they sat on to see the television, and she had been raptly paying attention to the movie so far, but when her phone went off, she couldn’t stop herself from jumping, just a little bit, in surprise at the feeling.

She scrambled to pull it out from where it was tucked into waistband of her skirt and panties, and could feel Heather Duke jerk slightly under her at the movement, combined with the earlier vibration. “Sorry Heather,”she mumbled as she finally fished it out, soft enough that Heather Duke could hear, but not loud enough to talk over the movie and make them miss anything important that might have been going on. Heather squeezed her closer against her and nuzzled into her neck in return, before she checked what had caused her phone to go off.

It was a text, according to the notification on her lockscreen. Probably from her mother. More than likely, it was sent to let her know what time she wanted her to be home by, or at least questioning what time she was planning to be. She carefully unlocked her phone, tilting it so that none of the Heathers could see the pattern, and was surprised to see that it wasn't actually from her mother like she had been expecting. Instead, it was from an unknown number, the same one she had texted earlier.

 

 **?????:** That would be me yes

 

Oh. Oh shit. He had actually responded. She had actually forgotten that she had sent him a message. She should probably send one back. Really, she should thank him. He was nice enough to not steal her bag, to not do anything to it besides write a note in her diary for her to find later, and that deserved some thanks. If nothing else, it deserved for her to thank him for what he had done, knowing he could have done much, and she really did appreciate what he had done. He had made sure her stuff was safe, and that was incredibly nice of him to do. Hoping it wouldn't distract the Heathers from the movie, she did her best to respond to him, her brows furrowed and tongue sticking out between her lips as she typed it out.

 

 **Veronica Sawyer:** oh uh. sweet. and thank you for what all you did. i really appreciate it.

 

An immediate response was not what she had been expecting, especially not considering it had taken him a little over an hour to respond before, but it didn’t take more than a couple minutes for her phone to buzz again. Luckily, it didn't startle her as bad this time, and she had kept her phone in her lap, so she didn't have to worry about fishing it out. She unlocked it again and read the message, but was distracted for a moment by the distressed squeak Heather McNamara let out when the light hit her eyes. “Shit, sorry Heather… I'll turn my brightness down.”

“It's okay, Ron-Ron,” Heather McNamara mumbled, leaning her head on her shoulder, and she gave her a warm smile, before doing as she had said she would, and turning her phone brightness down as low as it would go. There. Hopefully it would be less obnoxious that way. She read over the message she had received, and found herself frowning at the lack of a real response as she leaned into the warmth of Heather McNamara, laying her head on top of her own.

 

 **?????:** Youre welcome

 

That was it? That didn't really give her a lot to respond to. She would have to try again. Maybe she could branch off of him not talking much. That would work, wouldn't it? It was something anyways. It would be better than just not responding. She didn't want to be rude, even though he wasn't giving her too much to work with conversation wise.

Would it be rude to not respond to that? He hadn't even said much, just you're welcome, and that was enough to make her wonder if she could just leave the conversation where it was and that be done. But… Some distant part of her squirmed at the thought, knowing it would be incredibly rude to just not say anything back, and she was not known for being rude. She was kind- at least, as kind as one could be when with the Heathers- and he had even been nice enough to put her bag in her locker for her. She should at least say something else to him. Even if it wasn't much, it would be better than blatantly not responding.

 

 **Veronica Sawyer:** youre not very talkative huh

 

 **?????:** I just hate texting

 

 **Veronica Sawyer:** youre??? the one who told me to text tho???

 

She was a bit confused by that, her brows furrowed in concentration. Why would he tell her to text him if he didn't like it? She didn't understand. Then again, it wasn't as if they had many other ways of talking outside of school. Besides maybe calling, but that might have been a bit awkward, knowing that she could have called the wrong number if he had wrote it down wrong. There was no way that she would have time to call him later anyays, not with plans on trying to get Martha back in her life and figuring things out with her girlfriends.

Girlfriends. The thought made her heart flutter. The Heathers were her girlfriends. Sure, it could end up being only for the next two weeks in the end, but they were still her girlfriends for the time being, and that was enough to make her heart flutter. Hell, even though she was sitting with them, cuddling with all three of them, it still made her cheeks colour, to know that they were hers and she theirs. They were girlfriends, and it made her happier than she could ever think to admit, especially to their faces. When her phone buzzed again, three times in almost rapid succession, she about jumped, but managed to keep herself from doing so, just barely, and read the messages she had been sent, making sure to keep the light away from Heather Duke's and Heather McNamara's eyes.

 

 **?????:** I know

 

 **?????:** I thought maybe texting you would be different

 

 **?????:** Youve clearly got a soul even if you need to work hard on keeping it clean

 

 **?????:** We are all born marked for evil

 

Oh. She felt her cheeks colouring, just slightly, and gave a small smile. Did he just quote Baudelaire? Or was that a coincidence? It had to be a quote, it was it's own separate text and everything. Jeez, he had her blushing already, and she didn't even know his name. Shit, she should probably ask for that. Did he even know hers? God, she was terrible at this. Maybe if she had been talking to him in person, things would have been better. Maybe. Probably not though.

 

 **Veronica Sawyer:** wow did you just fucking quote baudelaire at me. i am shook m'dude

 

 **Veronica Sawyer:** also excuse me for this but i didnt catch your name earlier

 

 **?????:** Because I didn't throw it

 

Holy _shit_. He was _smooth_. Her cheeks darkened, and just as she went to type out a reply, and possibly change his contact name from question marks to something else- Mr. No-Name Kid came to mind- her phone was pulled from her grasp. She let out a startled squawk, and grabbed after it, barely noticing the obnoxiously bright red nails holding onto it and keeping it from her grasp. She turned to look at Heather Chandler then, meeting her eyes, and seeing something lurking there under the surface. Jealousy, maybe? Was Heather Chandler jealous she had been texting someone else? Shit, that hadn't even occurred to her until then.

“Roni, babe, we're trying to watch a movie, remember? Not text whoever the hell you've been texting for the last ten minutes,” she huffed, and Veronica opened her mouth to respond, but no words came out. What could she even say? Heather did have a point, they were supposed to be watching a movie together. She closed her mouth instead, just as Heather McNamara took her phone from Heather Chandler's grasp. She watched her lock it- thankfully so, or else she might have cried at having her privacy open to the Heather's prying eyes and letting them see the messages she had just sent- before her phone was stuffed into Heather McNamara's shirt, right into her bra. Oh. Okay.

“You'll get it back after the movie, Ron-Ron,” Heather McNamara cooed, and she couldn't help but groan, her cheeks burning bright. That wasn't fair. She wasn't quite brave enough to risk getting it herself, not by reaching into Heather's bra, and could only glare at her instead. There was a shrug, and Heather McNamara's attention was draw back to the television set, just as Heather Duke rested her head on her shoulder.

“Jeez, Ronica, could you be any more rude?” Heather Duke grumbled, just against the shell of her ear, and she pursed her lips, trying to hide how much her voice against her ear made her stomach knot. All she had to do was talk in her ear, and she was already fighting the urge to squirm in her lap. They had so much power over her, and it felt strange, knowing that they did. They could ruin her life by telling everyone what they had done, and no one would believe her. They could pin her down and fuck her raw, and she wouldn't be able to hold a fight against all three of them when it came to it- or, well, maybe she could, but she wasn't going to try and figure it out.

She slumped back against the warm bodies that were so close to her own, and tried to imagine the face of the boy she had just been talking to. She had only seen him once, the day before in the hallway, and already she wanted to see him again. She wanted to kiss him, like the Heathers had kissed her. He had already crawled into a dark spot in her mind, making himself home there. She wanted to get to know him better, and had to wonder if maybe, the Heathers would be okay with her dating him too...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> awww, ronnies got a crush...!!! hope that gives you guys a good idea for where this fic is heading lmao


	20. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Veronica texts JD, and laments on her feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ooooh boy guys. ive got some shit to say here, because of some comments on the last chapter. complaining about the direction im taking the story in, thats NOT going to get you anywhere. because guess what!!! the story is fucking plotted out, and has a specific way im taking it!!! and thats not gonna change. gosh diddly darn guys, just enjoy the fic and see where im taking it!!!! you have!!!! literally no clue what its endgame is!!!! just wait and see!!!!!
> 
> ON A HAPPY NOTE!!! this means im offically at 50k now, and with only 20 chapters!!! i think thats pretty cool!! i did have to get my wrist brace to finish this chapter, but!!! its longer than usual!!! or at least, longer than the last two have been i think? whatever. hope you enjoy it!!!

With a groan, Veronica flopped back onto her bed, and covered her face with her pillow. She was glad to be home, glad to be in her own bed again, and while she did care for the Heathers, she was glad to be away from them, even if it was just for a little bit. She was still supposed to be going on a date with Heather McNamara tonight- or something like that, she hadn't exactly understood all of her excited babbling about plans and dates and schedules, but she had said something about a sleepover so maybe that was it- but the moments she had alone just then were exactly what she needed.

She had only been home about five minutes most, having rode her bike back from Heather McNamara's, and was considering taking a nap for a few hours to make up for the emotional distress the Heathers had caused the past couple days, when her phone went off. With a groan, she scrambled to pull it out of her bra, where she had stuffed it once Heather McNamara had relented after the movie and let her have it back. She wasn't entirely sure who could have been texting her, not since the Heathers had all complained about having plans until later, and was surprised to find it wasn't the Heathers, or even Martha that had texted her.

The contact was a bunch of question marks, and she groaned, realising she hadn't responded to him earlier. After Heather Chandler had taken her phone, she had gotten absorbed back into the movie, until Heather Duke had gotten a call and shoved her off her lap and onto Heather McNamara. She had left in a whirlwind of apologies and swears, and that had just left the three of them to finish the movie. They had barely done so when Heather Chandler had gotten a call as well and left in a huff, and after begging Heather McNamara to let her phone back in case her own mother called, she had finally gave it up. By that time, however, she had totally forgotten that she hadn't responded to the last text she had gotten.

A swear tore it's way from her throat as she went to open the text to read it, getting a second one just as her phone pulled it up. Both from the same number. Both from the boy that had been nice enough to put her backpack away and had left her number in her diary. She read over them both, instantly wishing that she had been allowed to respond earlier.

 

 **?????:** Greetings and salutations

 

 **?????:** So did you get caught up with the swatch dogs and diet coke heads or should I be concerned

 

Ah, fuck. She groaned and threw her head back against the pillow, barely noticing that her phone was flashing ten percent battery remaining. She would have to charge it soon. That could wait a few minutes though, she wasn't that interested in getting her charger out and plugging it up. Right now, she just wanted to relax and talk to Mr. No-Name Kid. Maybe even get him to send her a picture, so she could get a good look at his face. That would be cool. She doubted he would let her though, since he wouldn't even let her know his name. Speaking of, she should really change his contact information. Anything would be better than the question marks that resided there now, and with a groan, she settled for Mr. No-Name Kid. At least she would know who was texting her until he told her his name, or she knew him better.

She should also respond to that last message of his. An apology, preferably. Something to let him know she hadn't purposely been ignoring him. It had been an accident, all because Heather Chandler had taken her phone, though she wouldn't complain too much. She had told her she would watch the movie with her, and that did mean not texting some stranger instead of spending time with her girlfriends. Still, she had to explain herself, and apologise. She really did feel terrible for what happened, so it was rather easy to come up with the right thing to say.

 

 **Veronica Sawyer:** omg im so sorry!!! they kinda took my phone away earlier bc i was texting during the movie and i forgot to text back once she let me have it again

 

She waited for a few minutes, and when he didn't respond immediately, she sighed and sat her phone down next to her. She wasn't sure what to do now. She didn't want to sleep, for fear of missing if he texted her, but didn't want to move from her bed to charge her phone. She was sure she would need to too, because there was no way it was going to last very long, but the thought of moving from her spot was unappealing. She knew there were plenty of things she needed to get a jump on before Heather McNamara came around for their date, but didn't want to do any of them.

Or, wait, was she supposed to pick her up? Riding on the back of her bike didn't sound comfortable for the entire trip from Heather's house. She supposed she could ask her mom to pick her up, though she wasn't too sure how well that would go over. While her mother had been accepting enough of the Heathers and had treated them no differently than she had Martha, there was a difference between their lifestyles. Martha's mom could bring her over when they had their sleepovers, and she lived close enough to walk if she really wanted to, so it wasn't a big deal. But Heather McNamara's parents didn't seem to care about her, and she knew they wouldn't bring her over.

She would have to get her driver's license, it seemed. Even if she was stuck using the family car until she got her own car- which would be easier once her mother let her get a job, but that was a different topic entirely- she could at least pick up Heather McNamara for nights like tonight. She wasn't even sure what time she was supposed to be picking her up, or what. She should probably text her and ask… Just as the thought crossed her mind, her phone buzzed again, and she picked it up before it buzzed in her hand. Reading the two messages she had got, her brows furrowed.

 

 **Mr. No-Name Kid:** That does not sound like a good friendship youve got going there

 

 **Mr. No-Name Kid:** Who just takes their friends phone away like that

 

 **Veronica Sawyer:** theyre not that bad… besides it was rude of me to text while we were spending time together like that. they were all watching the movie and i was being a dick.

 

It felt weird, defending the Heathers like that, but she couldn't exactly blurt out that she was dating them, especially not after telling the Heathers that she would keep it a secret. She was right that it was rude to be texting someone else on their date though, she knew that. Even if she wasn't going to call it that to him, not without even knowing his name. She knew she was right, and that was what mattered. She realised that she should probably change the subject, before things got too awkward, and decided that it would be a good idea to tell him her name, just in case he didn't already know it. At least then, she held a chance of getting his name in return.

 

 **Veronica Sawyer:** im veronica by the way… are you ever going to tell me your name?

 

 **Mr. No-Name Kid:** Ill end the suspense

 

 **Mr. No-Name Kid:** Im Jason Dean

 

 **Mr. No-Name Kid:** JD for short

 

 **Veronica Sawyer:** well jd, thank you again for putting my bag in my locker for me.

 

Jason Dean. JD, for short. Admittedly… It was a nice name. It wouldn't go in her phone for his contact informaton, she quite liked Mr. No-Name Kid for now, and besides, no one had their name as her actual name in her phone. Not even Martha, who was down in her phone as Girl With Wings, a bit of a personal joke, since she considered Martha to be practically an angel. JD was going to remain in her phone as Mr. No-Name Kid for now, until she could come up with something better. Besides, if anyone ever saw her phone, they would have no clue who she was texting that way.

Still… The name floated around in her head, bouncing about slowly, and she couldn't help biting her lip. Dean was a nice last name, and he was pretty cute. She wondered if he would be interested in ever making her Mrs. Veronica Dean, and couldn't help hiding her face into her pillow with a small squeal as her cheeks burned. She hated that she was already so infatuated with him, and had barely even talked to him. She wasn't even sure she was accurately imagining his face right. God, all he had to do was quote Baudelaire at her, and already, he made her knees weak. She had some pretty low standards, it seemed. Or at least, when it came to boys. Girls seemed to be another story, if the Heathers were anything to compare it to.

When her phone buzzed beside her, she squealed again and snatched it up, smiling at the sight of another text from him. Her cheeks still burned, but she opened it up regardless, knowing that it wasn't like he could see them anyways. This was her own personal moment, and she could enjoy it how she wanted. The first text was quickly followed by two more, and she couldn't help grinning that much wider as she read them over.

 

 **Mr. No-Name Kid:** I told you before youre welcome

 

 **Mr. No-Name Kid:** Besides I didn't want the football dicks to get it

 

 **Mr. No-Name Kid:** Sorry about writing in your diary by the way but the extreme always makes an impression and I wanted to make sure you saw it

 

Again, she hid her face in her pillow, and squealed. He seemed to be really nice, if what he had done was anything to go by, and he was even sorry for writing her diary. She had to take a moment to come up with the proper response, her cheeks burning brightly. It had been a long time since someone had her this flustered by simply talking to her in a casual conversation, and she wanted desperately to hold onto the moment before she responded. At least if she took the time to wait, there wasn't as much of a risk of sending an awkward message like she had with Heather Chandler. Once she felt calm enough to continue, she moved the pillow and grabbed her phone.

 

 **Veronica Sawyer:** ahaha its fine. besides you said you didnt read it and i appreciate that.

 

 **Mr. No-Name Kid:** It was common courtesy

 

 **Mr. No-Name Kid:** Do you have any plans for tonight

 

Oh. Shit. She wanted to tell him she didn't, wanted to say that she had no plans and she could do whatever he wanted. But that wasn't true. She had a date. With Heather McNamara. The bubbly cheerleader, one of the most popular girls in school, and her girlfriend. One of her girlfriends. Her chest swelled and bubbled just thinking about her, about their upcoming date, in the same way it did for him. The same way it did for Heather Chandler and Heather Duke. It made her even more confused than she was willing to admit. She hadn't even know it was possible to think that way about two people, let alone four.

Oh, she was fucked. She was so fucked. They all made her heart skip a beat, and while she barely knew who JD was, he still seemed so nice, so caring, and she wanted to wrap herself up in all that was him, but didn't know if her girlfriends would even approve. Girlfriends. It still made her cheeks colour and she grabbed her pillow to scream into it, hating how they all had a spot in her heart. She wanted to kiss them all, to spend the rest of her life with them, and the thoughts were confusing. How could she want to spend her life with four different people? Did that make her weird?

The Heathers seemed happy together, the three of them and her, so surely it wasn't that weird, right? She couldn't think of anyone else that she knew that had thoughts like these, that had multiple partners at once- at least not that knew about each other- and it made something in her heart twist. She kicked her feet out as she thought about it, thought about how she wanted her entire life to just be these four people that she could hold forever, and hated it. These feelings sucked, and she hadn't even realised they existed until Heather Chandler had kissed her. Had they always been there, these feelings for the Heathers, and the kiss had just brought them to the surface?

The feelings for JD were new, were still just a crush, were just an infatuation, she knew that. She wasn't stupid enough to think that she was already in love with him. Desperately though, she wanted to know him better, and wanted to kiss him. She wanted to see what all he was made of, wanted to know his feelings about her, wanted to know who he was. It might have to be a little bit longer before that, she realised, because she couldn't spend all night texting him. Even if she really wanted to. She was still really looking forward to her date with Heather McNamara. With a groan, she threw her pillow off of her face, and sent him a quick response.

 

 **Veronica Sawyer:** yeah sorry i got plans w uh. my friend. maybe another time?

 

She expected him to take his time responding, since she had certainly done so, and was surprised instead to find that her phone buzzed again almost instantly. Just as she went to check the message, she noticed that her battery was at two percent, and tossed it back down onto her bed. Shit, shit. She didn't want her phone to die on her while she was texting him. In a mad scramble across the room, she took her charger from her bag and rushed back to the bed, quickly plugging it in before hooking her phone up. With that done, she relaxed once more and slumped back against the bed, reading the couple messages he had sent since she had sat her phone down.

 

 **Mr. No-Name Kid:** How about next Friday

 

 **Mr. No-Name Kid:** We can hang out at the 7/11 on elm for a little bit at maybe 6 if thats good

 

 **Veronica Sawyer:** sounds good to me! six totally works!

 

Heh. 7/11, what a swanky first date. Wait. Was it a date? Would the Heathers care if it was? If she told them, then they'd probably think she was dating him as a cover, but she didn't want to use him like that. She actually liked him. Maybe if she had a picture to show them, then they would see what she saw? If she showed them the texts? But… That would require a picture… Before he had a chance to respond, she sent another text, holding her breath as she waited for his response.

 

 **Veronica Sawyer:** and hey do you think that maybe i could get a picture of you? i didnt see your face that well in the hall today.

 

There was a pause, and it made the balloon in her chest inflate, pushing against her lungs and against her ribs. God, she was so stupid, to ask for a picture of him. It wasn't like she wasn't going to see him again on Monday, he did go to their school after all. He was probably going to say no, call her stupid, and that would be the end of it. He'd call off their kinda-sorta date, he'd block her number, he'd--

Her phone buzzed and cut her thoughts off. She glanced to it, and despite the fear bubbling up, she opened the message he had sent, and was met with a picture. Specifically, one of his face. He looked tired, bags under his eyes and his hair dishevelled as he stood outside what appeared to be a 7/11, but he was almost smiling. His eyes twinkled, and she felt it steal her breath away, just staring at it. She wasn't sure how long she stared at the picture, memorising every little detail of his face, before she realised she should probably respond. She probably say something to him. Fuck. She should at least thank him for the picture.

 

 **Veronica Sawyer:** omg thank! youre really nice looking!

 

Nice looking? God, that was awkward. Could she have not come up with a better adjective? Beautiful, gorgeous, stunning, or even pretty came to mind. Anything would have been better than just nice looking. Mentally berating herself, she tried her best to come up with better adjectives to describe him, even as she saved the picture to her phone to look at her later, just in case she accidentally deleted the message with it in it. It didn't take too long for him to respond though, and she focused on that instead.

 

 **Mr. No-Name Kid:** Thank you

 

 **Mr. No-Name Kid:** Could I get one back

 

 **Mr. No-Name Kid:** And not a presaved one either that picture is hot off the presses and I want to see what you look like without it being staged

 

Oh. He wanted a new picture of her. A recent picture of her. The thought made her heart flutter and she felt herself blushing, even as she turned on her camera. Her hair was a mess, but it was always a mess, and really, there was no fixing that. She could spend hours trying to comb it out, but it wouldn't go anywhere. There was a genuine twinkle in her eyes, even though she wasn't wearing make-up, and she had to fight the urge down to go put some on. Taking a deep breath, she steadied the phone above her, enough to get a decent angle, and grinned up at it.

Three… Two… One… There was the shutter of her phone clicking shut, and she grinned as she looked over the picture. She looked nice. A little tousled, but nothing too bad. That would the perfect picture to send, and it was recent too. Maybe she would even save it for later, because the Heathers would surely get a kick out of it. Actually… She could send it to them in the groupchat too…

She sent the picture to him, and quickly switched to their groupchat app, before she added the picture. She made sure to add a caption to it this time, though it was simply “missing you guys!!” and a kissing emoticon, but it was enough to get the point across anyways. She relaxed back against the bed, and her cheeks burning brightly as she waited for the four of them to respond, before she heard a familiar squeal just outside of her door, and turned to look at it.

In an instant, it was yanked open, Heather McNamara standing there in the doorway, before she stepped inside and shut it behind her. In her hand, she held her phone, and Veronica barely had the time to get to look her over to see she wasn't in her lazy day wear, before she was rushing forward, wrapping her up in her arms and pressing kisses against her cheeks. She felt her phone buzz with a new text, but it slipped free from her grip as she focused on Heather McNamara, focused on her adorable giggling, and focused on the feelings of her lips pressing against her skin, over and over again.

“You're so cute, Ron-Ron! Adorable! Jeez, how did we ever get so lucky as to have you? And you even showed off your hickeys for us!” she squealed, pressing kisses against her face again and again. She could feel her lipstick smearing against her skin, could feel it marking her up, and leaned into the next one, meeting Heather's lips before they could press to her cheek again. Oh, it had only been a few hours, but what she said had been true. She had missed her girls. Had missed her girlfriends. With Heather McNamara there with her, kissing her and giggling against her lips, she allowed herself to relax against her, her phone and the message she had just received forgotten.


	21. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Veronica's mom walks in, when Heather's lips are on her own, and Veronica and Heather can't help but panic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mrs sawyer is best mom 2k17. this is also not what i meant the chapter to be when i started it but it came to me and i couldn't not do it.

Breathless, she flopped back against the bed, Heather McNamara's lips chasing her. The feeling of her lipstick, smearing and pressing and leaving marks against her skin, left her wanting more, and left her stomach burning. She had lost track of exactly how long they spent kissing already, but it didn't too long after she flopped back against the bed before they were interrupted, her door cracking open and her mother letting out a startled squawk. Heather McNamara jerked upright at the sound, stiff as a board, and she sat up on her elbows, watching the panic flood her features. Quietly, she put a hand on her shoulder, and rubbed it in a slow circle, hoping to calm her down, as she looked to her mother, her heart in her throat.

No. No, no, no. This wasn't how supposed tonight was supposed to go. It was supposed to be fun, be content, not… Not this. Her mother wasn't supposed to catch them. Wasn't supposed to see her like this. She wasn't supposed to know. Oh god. Oh god, what was she going to do? How would they even react? Would they kick her out? Would they tell Heather's parents? There was something clawing at her chest, making her want to throw up, making it hard to breathe, squeezing and tearing, and it felt like everything was suddenly collapsing, ripping at her seams. She had to try to fix this, she had to try something. She had to… She had to… Maybe she could talk her way out of it. Something, anything, would be better than sitting there, lipstick smeared on her face, and a hand on Heather McNamara's shoulder.

“Mom! I-I didn't… We… We can explain! I can explain!” she tried, feeling that something bubbling up in her throat. She felt like she was going to cry, everything washing over her as she saw the look on her mother's face, one of pure shock, and there was something else there, something that rung wrong in her head. She could feel Heather shaking under her grip, just slightly, and she wanted to wrap her up in her arms, but knew it wasn't going to help her case. They had to come up with something, they had to… She felt her throat closing slowly, just as Heather curled in on herself, grabbing handfuls of her hair, and _pulling_.

“Veronica,” her mother said, calm and slow. She stepped into the room slowly, and Veronica pulled Heather McNamara against her, just as she shut the door. Was she going to kick her out? Was she going to scream? Everything ached, and she couldn't breathe, couldn't feel anything but the back of her head pounding as she clung to the shaking form of Heather. She closed her eyes and buried her head in her hair, squeezing the shaking form close, and waited for it all to come down.

She waited for yelling. She waited for the inevitable screaming. She waited to hear her mother telling her to get out. She waited to know that she was kicked out, that she was disowned. She didn't have any money, didn't even have a job, or anything but her bike, and it was all coming down on her shoulders at once. It hurt, her stomach turning anxiously. Everything was a blur of stars and speckled black as she hid her face, not daring to look at her mother, as if it was going to make things worse. She waited for it all to collapse, just as her lungs had seemed to have done, but it never came.

Instead, a warm hand caressed her cheek, gentle and slow. She leaned into it despite herself, and only then realised she was crying, and the hand on her cheek was wiping away her tears. Despite the fear clutching at her, despite knowing that it wasn't Heather touching her cheek, she cracked her eyes open slowly, and met her mother's eyes. There was a warmth there, a soft kindness, and it made her heart squeeze that much worse. Her mother leaned forward and pressed a caring kiss to her forehead, running a hand through her hair, and she shook at her touch. While her mother had never hit her, had never even done more than raise her voice, she was terrified of what was coming. She was terrified her parents would be like the parents you always heard of, the ones who kicked their children out for being gay, and it ripped at her heart to think of losing her family.

“Shhh, come on girls… It's okay. Please stop crying. I'm not mad,” her mother whispered, and she leaned into her touch. Arms wrapped around her and Heather, pulling them both against her mother, and she squeezed her eyes shut, trying hard to calm the creature clawing at her insides and ripping them to shreds. “Girls… Look at me. Heather, hun, look. Let go of your hair, I'm not mad… I'm not mad. I promise I'm not mad.”

“I'm so sorry,” Heather sobbed, and Veronica squeezed her closer, desperate to protect her, desperate to show her that she was there for her, even if everything else went to hell, and spared a glance up at her mother. Her expressive was more one of concern, one of worry for her daughter and Heather, and Veronica wished she could go back in time, wished she could have locked the door, wished she could have stopped her mother from having caught them. But it was too late for that. Her mother had caught them.

“Heather, I promise I'm not upset,” her mother sighed, and gently grabbed Heather's hands, tugging them away from her hair. “I know that you're both really scared and upset, but I need you to calm down, and just breathe. It's okay, I'm not upset. Please girls, just breathe. I want to talk to you, but I can't do that if you're hyperventilating.” Slowly, Heather let go of her hair, and Veronica squeezed her against her chest, watching her mother's features. They were soft, kind, and worried, and it was enough to release some of the tension in her shoulders, relaxing into her warm embrace, and feeling everything that had crashed against her slipping away.

“You're… You're really not upset?” she mumbled, and her mother smiled. A soft smile, a warm smile, one that sent everything right in her heart, and one that made her want to cry, for an entirely different reason than she had been crying for moments ago. It was an accepting smile, one that made her heart slow, made her chest ache ease, and made the creature in her chest lull into an almost sleep.

“No, Ronnie, I'm not. You're my daughter, I'm going to love you no matter what, and yes, that includes kissing girls.” Heather's head slowly raised up, tears streaking her cheeks, before she let out a short sob and wrapped her arms around Veronica. She buried her face in her neck and Veronica pulled her close, looking up at her mother and smiling at her in return.

“You really mean that?” she mumbled softly, just against Heather's shoulder, and her mother nodded, pulling the two of them against her chest. She felt safe then, felt every little bit of panic draining out of her, and buried her face into Heather's hair, breathing in the scent of her bubblegum shampoo. It was just as relaxing as her mother's arms around them both, and it allowed her to relax, allowed her to revel in the warmth of both of their embraces.

“I do mean that, Veronica. You're my little Ronnie, my little girl. No matter who you date, even if it is Heather here, then I'm going to love you. I just wish I had known that you two were dating earlier… I wouldn't have let you shut the door,” her mother scolded, and she felt her cheeks burning in embarrassment. Heather let out a snort of a giggle against her skin, and she broke away from her hair to look up at her mother again, sticking her bottom lip out in a pitiful pout.

“Mooom,” she whined, hating the smirk her mother wore. She wanted to get back at her for embarrassing her like that, and as Heather sniffled against her neck, she got the perfect idea. While her mother knew that she was dating Heather now, she didn't know about the other two. She had no clue that she wasn't just dating Heather, she was dating Heather and Heather too. Knowing this, she couldn't help but smirk. “I'm not just dating Heather, Mom… I'm dating Heather and Heather too.”

“Ron-Ron!” Heather squawked, pulling away from her neck with an indignant look on her face, and she couldn't do more than give an apologetic shrug as her mother sputtered. Heather swatted her arm, hard enough to make her draw back, but light enough to not really hurt. She couldn't help smiling at her annoyed expression, even as her cheeks puffed out, and her mother watched them, and only held back kissing her pouty lips because of her mother being right there.

“Is… Everyone aware of this?” her mother asked, drawing her attention back to her. She gave a nod, then hesitated, chewing on her bottom lip in thought. Well, everyone did not include the Heather's parents. Hell, it didn't even include her own parents until just then. So no, not technically everyone, just everyone in their little group. It was a mutual relationship between the four of them, one that no one else had even been aware of, and while she was sure that the Heathers had wanted to keep it that way, her mother knew now, and she at least had to do some damage control, before she went off to post it on social media, or to talk to any of their parents about them dating.

“Heather and Heather know, yeah… They're all dating too. But their parents don't know, and please mom, you can't tell them. They'll… They'll...” When she trailed off, Heather put a warm hand on her shoulder, and she leaned into it, looking to her and meeting her bright eyes. Again, she felt the urge to kiss her, and instead settled for putting a hand on her cheek and running a thumb across her skin, wiping away the tears that still lingered there.

“Please, Mrs. Sawyer, don't tell my parents. My dad would kill me. Heather's mom wouldn't be any better, and I know that Heather's dad kick her out,” Heather mumbled, looking to Veronica's mother from the corner of her eye, and she could see her chewing over this information. It was slow and calm, before she gave a short nod, squeezing the two against her chest once again, then let go of them, and slowly stood, a small smile on her face that let Veronica know everything would be okay.

“I won't say anything, Heather. It'll stay between all of us. All I ask is that the door stays open,” she said, and Veronica gave a small nod, smiling up at her. There was a nod in return and her mother went over to the door, ready to leave, before she paused at the doorway. She turned to look at the two of them, her expression one of kindness and warmth. “And Heather? If your parents ever did kick you out for being gay, or kick any of you out, then our door is always open. You'll always be welcome here. The other two too. I'm not going to let any of you sleep on the streets because your parents are bigots.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Sawyer,” Heather breathed, tears in her eyes again, and Veronica stroked her cheek again, reminding her that it was okay. She leaned into the touch, closing her eyes, and Veronica pulled her against her chest, feeling her melt into her embrace, as she looked up to her mother and mouthed her own 'thank you'. Her mother smiled, putting a hand on the doorway, and for a moment, it was silent as Heather curled against her chest, warm and close.

“You're welcome, Heather. Now, Veronica, your father is downstairs starting dinner, and I'll yell for you two when it's done. Don't you dare shut this door,” her mother cooed, though there was something else in her voice, a sort of sharpness that made her back straighten, and she nodded, sharp and quick, even as Heather giggled at feeling her stiffen. The sharpness all melted away from her mother in an instance, a warm smile replacing it, before she left the two of them alone, curled together on her bed, and in a tangled mess of limbs.

“That uh… That went better than I would have thought it would,” Veronica sighed, and Heather nodded, resting her head on her chest. She looked up at her, her face an adorable sight, and she didn't dare fight the urge to kiss her now that her mother was gone. Instead, she planted a kiss to her forehead, and enjoyed the warm hum of happiness that met her ears afterwards. It was just as adorable as she would have expected, and she wanted to kiss her again, just to hear her warm hum.

“Your mom is really supportive, Ron-Ron… How do you think she would have reacted to know you aren't a virgin anymore?” Heather cooed, and her cheeks once again coloured as she drew back from Heather, hating the devilish smirk she wore. With a groan, she shoved her away, back onto the bed, and hated the adorable giggle that followed. “Ow, Ron-Ron! You wound me! I should go tell your mom that you're abusing me!”

“Shut up,” she groaned, crossing her arms over her chest, and Heather grinned, laying back on the bed with a relaxed sigh, her crossing her own arms and tucking them under her head. She spared a glance at Veronica's television, and let out a soft hum from where she laid. Veronica's eyes followed her own, and she couldn't help raising a brow, before she looked back at Heather. While her TV was smaller than any of the ones Heather owned, it still fit her purposes well enough, and she enjoyed it enough. Was she going to comment on the size of it? Surely not, Heather knew she wasn't as well off as her.

Suddenly, Heather jerked upright, putting her hands in her lap and stars sparkling in her eyes as she stared at Veronica, a wonderful grin spreading her cheeks. It was sudden enough to send her almost falling back off the bed, her eyes wide in shock, before Heather grabbed onto her arms and steadied her, making sure she didn't take the nasty tumble backwards. She let out a soft sigh and relaxed against her grip, raising a brow as she looked at her. “What?”

“We should watch a movie! I know your mom said that dinner would be ready soon, but that still gives us plenty of time to start one! Or at least decide on one! There's all kinds of good stuff too! Lion King, or Lilo and Stitch, and maybe even Frozen are some good movies! Unless, um… Unless you want to watch something else.” When she first started talking, Heather's hands were twitching at her side, but her enthusiasm melted the longer that she talked, and Veronica bit her lip as she watched her hands still and grip at her skirt. While she really wasn't one to care for children's movies, she could at least humour Heather. As long as they could find the movie, anyways.

“Those all sound great, Heather. We can certainly watch some of them tonight. We could probably find them somewhere online, cause I don't think I have any of those on disc, but we can totally watch them on my laptop, if that's cool.” There was an eager nod, before Heather wrapped her arms around her neck and pressed another kiss to her lips. She wrapped her arms around her in return, holding her against her for just a moment, and enjoying the energy that seemed to be pouring off of her in waves. Finally, she pulled away, her eyes shimmering.

“Yes! That's awesome!” Heather chimed, and she couldn't help but smile, leaning into the warmth of her embrace. Heather was practically bouncing against her, her hands squirming against her neck, and she simply closed her eyes, enjoying the sensation of Heather hugging her, of Heather being there with her. Tonight would be a good night. She was sure of it. Not even her mother walking in on them had gone badly. There wasn't anything that could go wrong, not tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so would you guys be interested in seeing the rest of their date/sleepover, or should I just skip to the next morning? lemme know what you think.


	22. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heather goes nonverbal, and Veronica does her best to be supportive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sleepover won, by like, two votes, thanks to tumblr. so heres the sleepover. we get to see a bit more of mac and ronnies relationship and see how her parents are handling things.
> 
> also ronnies mom is a nurse that works at the local hospital and unless someone can show me canon of otherwise thats what im going with here.

“Ronnie! Heather! Dinner!” her mother called, and Veronica's attention was drawn once again from the pair of soft lips that had captured her own. They had been kissing for a few minutes by that point, and had started just after she had cracked open the old laptop she had and had started to sign on. While she normally used her desktop, now wasn't really a good time to use it, and as a result, she had defaulted to the old laptop she had for a few years now. She had gotten it for Christmas when she was twelve, and while it was five years old and well worn, it would be perfect to sit on her lap and watch movies with Heather.

The laptop had been pushed aside when Heather had pressed her lips to her own though, when Heatherhad swung a leg over her lap despite the open door, and had cupped her cheeks as she kissed her. She had kissed back, just as eagerly as Heather had kissed her, her own arms looping around Heather's waist, and that was how she found herself when the kiss broke, staring up into Heather's wonderful eyes. For a moment, they sat there, smiling at each other and almost out of breath, before Heather pressed another kiss, this one quick, to her forehead.

“You're so cute like this. If we didn't have to go downstairs, I'd totally fuck you right now,” Heather cooed, just against the skin of her forehead, and she felt her cheeks burning as Heather pulled away. Oh no, she wasn't going to let her get away after that comment. She wanted her against her again, if only to make up for Heather making her blush. She tugged her harder against her in retaliation, enjoying the soft squeak Heather let out as she did so, and rested her chin on Heather's shoulder.

“Yeah?” she asked, soft against her ear, and felt her heart thudding as Heather's hands settled on her own shoulders. “What if I wanted to fuck you instead? Until you screamed so loud the neighbours heard?” Heather's breathing hitched and she couldn't help but smirk, feeling her melt against her, her fingers digging into her shoulder. She wondered if she was blushing, but didn't want to pull back to look, not when she had the chance to speak right against her ear and fluster her further.

“H-how… How would you…?” Heather squeaked, and swallowed. Oh, yes, this was nice. She hadn't expected to have flustered her so much that Heather couldn't form a sentence, and was pleasantly surprised by the fact that she had. It was nice to know that she had that power over her, considering how much the others had over her. She could make her flustered too. It made her stomach knot in knowing that she could do that to her.

“Oh, push you back on the bed and use what Heather showed me earlier? Or what you showed me yesterday, when you had me pinned against your bed… Would you want me to return that favour?” she cooed, just against the shell of her ear, and Heather mewled, grinding down on her lap. The feeling of it alone was enough to make her breath hitch in her throat, knowing she had already got her worked up enough to grind down on her lap, and she pulled away from her shoulder, just about to kiss her again, when her mother's voice rang clearly through the air.

“Girls! If I have to come up there and pry you two apart, then Heather is going home and won't be allowed to stay the night anymore!” Shit. Heather let out a weak little whine, her hips giving a few more jerky thrusts against Veronica, before she slid off her lap, squirming where she sat. More than anything, she wanted to help ease the ache she knew she had started, but also knew her mother was being serious. It was still better than kicking her out, at least. Anything would be better than that.

“Sorry, Heather,” she mumbled, pressing a kiss to her cheek, before sliding over to the edge of the bed. Her feet dangled over it for just a moment before she stood, and looked to Heather, thoroughly enjoying the bright pink that was dusting her cheeks and the way she glared daggers at the sheets. She was adorable, and yet, pathetic, and Veronica loved every moment of it. “Are you gonna be okay to go downstairs?”

“I… I hate you,” Heather mewled, squeezing her legs together, as she looked up at her. She couldn't help smiling at hearing how absolutely adorable she was. It was rare that she got to spend time with the Heathers one at a time, and seeing Heather McNamara as an adorable, squirming, blushing mess, she wanted instantly to see more of them alone, so she could see exactly how far she could get away with each of them before they got to this state.

“You don't mean that,” she hummed, offering a hand to help Heather up, and stuck out her bottom lip when she got a huff in response. Heather stood without taking her hand, and started towards the bedroom door despite the blush on her cheeks, leaving her to follow behind her. A frown chased her lips as she did, running a hand through her hair. Did she actually upset her? Did Heather really hate her? She had been playing, right?

The answer came in the form of Heather's fingers looping through her own, clutching her hand close, and she let out a breath she hadn't realised she had been holding in. The panic that had been swelling in her chest instantly dissipated and she squeezed Heather's hand tight, leaning into the gentle touch of her grip on her hand. It was reassuring, in a way that she hadn't realised holding hands with someone could be.

Though really, everything about Heather was reassuring. When it was just them she was so sweet and nice and warm that she just wanted to wrap her up in her arms and hold her tight until her mother yelled at them again. However, she knew she couldn't do that, not with the chance that it would get Heather banned from staying at her house, so instead, she walked alongside her, leading her gently through her house and to the dining room, where her mother and father were waiting.

“There you two are!” Her mother squawked, exasperated. Veronica could only give a small smile, running her free hand through her hair. She noticed her father staring at their interlocked hands and gave Heather's a reassuring squeeze, just to make sure that she understood that she was there for her, before nodding slowly.

“Sorry, Mom. We were trying to set up a movie to watch later,” she lied, barely noticing Heather nodding along with her out of the corner of her eye. To see her so quiet was strange. Was there something wrong? She spared her a glance, seeing the worried expression splayed across her features as she stared straight ahead, past Veronica’s parents and instead at the wall. Her own worry began to slip through, she was sure of it. Her mother cleared her throat and drew her attention to herself, probably in some hope of easing some of the tension in the room.

“It's okay, Ronnie, dear… Why don't the two of you take a seat? I wasn't sure what you liked Heather, so I just made you a plate… Do you like meatloaf?” Again, just the nod, her hand clenching tightly onto Veronica’s as she stared straight ahead. She allowed Veronica to lead her to a seat with no difficulty and sat down at once. She didn’t say a word, instead staring at the plate in front of her. Veronica sat down and offered her hand under the table, feeling the other latch on instantly and squeeze again in thanks.

“Heather? Is this… Something like the bee earlier?” she whispered, as if she could hide it from her parents, despite there being no other sound in the dining room. Heather only gave a small nod again, biting on her bottom lip. She watched as, with her free hand, Heather clenched at her skirt, wadding it up and squeezing it. Veronica tried squeezing her hand again to draw attention back to herself. While Heather wasn’t hyperventilating, maybe she was having a panic attack? That was possible, wasn’t it? She had to ask, if nothing else. “Is this a panic attack?”

This time, there was the slightest shake of her head. Just enough for her to notice, but not really much else. That made her lips purse. What exactly was wrong then? She looked to her parents for help, seeing both of them look confused, though her father more so. Neither of them seemed to know what to do either, and she wasn’t quite sure what was wrong to begin with. If it wasn't a panic attack, what was it?

“Heather dear, you don’t have to talk to us,” her mother said gently, not seeming to mind that Heather couldn’t meet her eyes. “You can just sit and eat and that’ll be alright, okay? Do you want to talk?” Heather didn’t respond, not even to shake her head or nod. Veronica watched her mother’s lips purse in the way that meant she was thinking hard about something, before something dawned behind her eyes. “Do you want a pencil and paper? It’s okay if you do. We can get it for you. And if you don’t want to shake your head or nod anymore, that’s okay too. You don’t have to talk to us. It’s okay. You’re okay.”

“Mom, what…” She started, trailing off weakly as her mother held up a hand. When Heather gave a small shake of her head, squeezing Veronica’s hand tight enough she felt like she was going to lose circulation in her fingers, her mother nodded slowly, giving Heather a warm smile that Veronica knew was meant to help calm her down.

“That’s okay. Do you mind if we talk though? Ronnie and her dad are both very confused right now, and Ronnie’s dad doesn’t know what you two told me, so I’d like to explain.” There was another shake of Heather’s head, and her mother relaxed, looking to her daughter and husband with a small smile. It made her feel weird being completely cut out of the conversation like that, but she wasn’t going to argue. She knew it wouldn’t get anywhere, and either Heather or her mother would explain later. “Okay. Ronnie, hun, why don’t you tell your father what you told me?”

“Dad, um… I'm… I’m dating Heather. And Heather. And… Heather. We’re all dating, I mean. The four of us,” she tried, watching his eyebrows rise as she continued. She knew it was confusing, she barely understood it entirely herself. But also knew that it would be best to get it all out at once so it could all be got out of the way and there would be nothing left to hide. Her free hand rubbed along the back of her neck slowly as she looked down at her own plate. Heather once again squeezed her hand. “Mom caught me and Heather kissing earlier, and I told her then. I didn't… I’m sorry, I didn’t…”

“Veronica, it’s okay," her father soothed, his voice calm as she met his eyes, seeing the same genuine warmth and care she had always associated with her father. It made her relax, all the tension draining from her shoulders the longer she looked into his eyes. “I’m still going to love you, regardless of who you date. Even… Even if it is three girls at once. That’s okay too. I’m okay with you, and I’m okay with that… Now… How about we eat before dinner gets cold, hm girls?”

 

* * *

 

After dinner, which was filled with her parents chattering about how happy they were that she had found three people that hopefully made her happy, Veronica and Heather retreated to the bedroom. Heather hadn’t said a word, staring down at her plate, occasionally squeezing Veronica’s hand. She did nod or shake her head if she was asked a question, but she hadn’t made a sound the entire time. Veronica found it worrying, but she didn’t want to force her to talk, especially not with the way her mother had been acting before.

So she led her to her bed instead, gently pulling her down onto it with her, and letting Heather collapse against her. They seemed to fit together almost perfectly, with Heather’s head resting gently on her shoulder and nose nuzzling into her neck as she laid against her. Her arms hung loose, but Veronica wrapped her up in her own and laid back against the headboard, feeling the gentle in and out of Heather’s breathing against her skin. It was a soft feeling, one that almost tickled, and she wondered if it would be okay to kiss her then or if Heather just needed to relax. She didn’t push her luck by asking, just ran a hand through Heather’s hair slowly as the other held her close.

“Are you okay?” A nod against her shoulder, accompanied by the slightest noise, one that was certainly positive, but not quite an actual word. Well, it was better than nothing. She could work with that. As long as Heather was okay, then everything else was too. She could work with just nods and shakes if she had to, but the positive noise made her feel a little better in a way that she couldn’t explain. “Do you still want to watch the movie?”

Again, a nod, and a positive noise, but Heather didn't move, keeping her head against her shoulder. That was okay. She was fine where she was at. They had all night together, they could watch the movie at any point. The hand in her hair shifted to wrap around her stomach, before Veronica squeezed her close. She got an annoyed noise, and while that hadn't been her intention, she still found it adorable, and appreciated it all that much more.

“Do you want to watch it tonight?” A nod, a positive noise, and Heather nuzzled her nose against her neck. She nodded with her, rubbing slow circles against her back. “Okay. Do you want to cuddle more first?” Another nod, and she smiled, glad to know that they could at least work together to get through this. She was willing to take things as slow as needed, not wanting to rush Heather into speaking again, even if she didn't understand why she wasn't. “Okay. Tap my arm three times when you want to watch it, that way you don't have to talk, okay? And… Can I kiss you?”

The first question got a nod, and then there was a pause, one that made Veronica curse her decision to ask about the kiss, before Heather pulled away from her shoulder. Fear rushed through her, and she was almost certain that Heather was going to pull away entirely, before she straightened up. Their eyes met, Heather's shining brightly and full of the energy she so cared for, before Heather pressed her lips against her own, and she melted into the feeling. It made everything feel better, let her know that, even if Heather wasn't talking right then, that everything was going to be okay.


	23. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Veronica wakes up to text messages, and dirty pictures.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> smut warning, not really all that explicit, but talked about a lot.
> 
> also sorry this chapter took so long?? my body kinda crashed out on me for a couple days, so i slept like a normal human instead of writing like i normally do. and so. here this is. enjoy.

When she awoke the next morning, it was to the feeling of Heather McNamara’s nose nuzzling into her neck. Her breathing was still soft, still flittering, and it tickled her skin. She was almost tempted to push her away, but instead settled for giving a soft and tired groan, turning her head away from the nose nuzzling into her skin and squeezing her eyes shut that much tighter. She didn’t want to wake up. Her alarm hadn’t gone off yet, and as far as she could tell, there was no reason to right then. Still, something was nagging in the back of her head,telling her that she needed to wake up.

Reluctantly, she cracked her eyes open, staring at the ceiling above her. Light leaked in from her bedroom window, the curtains drawn back, and allowing her to see the signs that the sun was starting to rise over the horizon. Shit. It was really early. Why was she awake? It couldn't have even been eight in the morning yet, and she didn't understand why she was awake. Not until her phone buzzed and her attention was drawn to where it was left on her nightstand to charge the night before. It was flashing four new texts, along with a few messages from the groupchat.

With a small groan and being careful not to disturb Heather, she grabbed her phone off the nightstand and unplugged it, before relaxing back against Heather. She settled in to read the messages, prepared to see that Heather Chandler and Heather Duke had blown up the group chat, but the texts drew her attention first, mostly because one of them had been sent within the last time minutes.

Maybe that had been what had woke her up then? She opened up the app, only to be confronted with the fact that they weren't from the Heathers like she had been expecting. No, they were from JD. Internally, she cursed upon realising that she had just… Stopped responding the night before. She had sent him a picture of her face, and hadn't even taken the time to read his response. To be fair, Heather had pounced on her the moment she had seen her and covered her face with kisses, so it wasn't entirely her fault. However, that didn't excuse the fact that she had stopped responding, and she felt like a complete ass for doing so. She sighed as she opened up the four messages he had sent, reading them over.

 

 **Mr. No-Name Kid:** You are also really nice looking

 **Mr. No-Name Kid:** Though I am concerned about those marks on your neck and if your friends caused them but you dont have to talk about them if you dont want to

 **Mr. No-Name Kid:** Im assuming you must have fallen asleep or I crossed a line and for that I would like to apologise and wish you a good nights sleep

 

The first three were from the night before. One had been a few minutes after the picture had gone through, the second shortly after, and the last about an hour later. Shit. She felt horrible for just ignoring him like that. It hadn't been her intention, not really, but it still made her stomach knot. That was a horrible way to start up a friendship, especially with someone she was supposed to be having a date with in a week. Was it really a date? She should ask him about that. Maybe she could steer the conversation towards that? Guess that kind of depended on what his last message was though.

 

 **Mr. No-Name Kid:** Greetings and salutations

 

Oh. Wasn't that the same greeting he had used before? That was… Strangely adorable. She felt her cheeks colouring slightly as she finally thought over what all he had said before. He had said she was nice looking, had been concerned with her, and had even wished her a good night's sleep. Not to mention greeting her in the morning, meaning he wanted to talk with her still. He wanted to talk to her. The thought made her heart beat faster, enough to make her respond almost immediately, not caring that his text was probably what had awoken her.

 

 **Veronica Sawyer:** ah!! sorry! my friend got here and i was a bit distracted… thank you tho!! and good morning!!!

There wasn't a point in lying about what happened, so she didn't even try. It was true that Heather had arrived and distracted her, though calling her a friend was a bit of an understatement. Parts of her neck ached from what they had done after they had finished the movie, and she knew that Heather had left more hickeys on her neck. She had been so energetic, so eager to get her hands on her, once she finally relaxed and started talking to her.

Really, she was still confused about what had happened at dinner the night before. Her mother seemed to know something she didn't, and Heather hadn't told her anything about what happened. Maybe after Heather left, she could pester her mother for answers? If nothing else, it would be nice to get an idea on exactly what was going on with one of her girlfriends so she could better understand her. Speaking of understanding things better, she would still have to do a bit of research on everything the girls had talked to her about the day before. It was all still a bit confusing, but before she could focus too much more on the thought, she received two more text messages in a row, and it reminded her that she should probably check the group chat too.

 

 **Mr. No-Name Kid:** Good morning

 **Mr. No-Name Kid:** Its fine though and I hope last night went well

 **Veronica Sawyer:** oh yeah it went great! we watched movies and junk. all kinds of fun. how are you?

 

After sending her response, she opened up the groupchat, only to be met with pictures from Heather Chandler. They were various degrees of lewd, ranging from showing off herself wearing off a bright red strap-on, to one where the toy was buried in Heather Duke- or she assumed, anyways, from the angle of the picture- as Heather Duke laid on her back and squirmed on the bed. The last picture was one of Heather Duke laying back on the bed, completely naked, and her chest smeared with strings of her own cum as she stared up at the camera. Just the first picture was enough to have her desperately trying not to squirm against Heather McNamara as she slept, but by the last, she had to squeeze her legs together as she read over the messages in the groupchat.

 

**#squad**

>4 participants

_Today_

**queen bee:**

her fce whn she came

it ws beaut

nd I luvd cing her scream r name

u 2 shd hv cn it

**The Best Heather:**

I'm pretty sure all they understood from that was she came and scream, because that's sure as hell all I understood, and I was there, Heather.

**queen bee:**

do u wnt me 2 fuck ur ass agn

bc I will

so hard ull cry

**The Best Heather:**

Maybe I do. You're so hot when you get all eager to pound once of us with your toy. Turns me on more than I'm willing to admit most of the time, honestly.

q **ueen bee:**

ur lucky ur mom is here

ls I wld

nd u wldnt walk right 4 a week

can c ur boner btw

**The Best Heather:**

Maybe you could sit on my lap to help me hide it? I promise I'll be good and won't touch you… Unless you want me to.

**queen bee:**

….fine

Oh. Oh god. Images of the two of them actively going at it flooded her mind, and she thought about how hot it would be, to see Heather Chandler gripping Heather Duke's hips and fucking her with the toy she had shown off in the first picture she had sent… She barely bit back a whimper at the thought, shifting awkwardly against the warm body holding her close as her thighs squeezed together. The thought of the two of them alone was enough to make her throb, and had she had something to grind on right then, she would have.

Would Heather use the toy on her if she asked? She could imagine her, lining the toy up to her slit, and taking pictures of her face as she fucked her. Did she always take pictures? Was it a new thing? Would she… Maybe have pictures of all of them like that, at some point? Ones of herself seemed unlikely, but she did have to wonder if there were any of Heather McNamara… She wanted to ask, but she wasn't quite sure how. She would have to think on it, and in the mean time, sent a message to the groupchat, letting the others know she was awake.

 

**im dying squirtle:**

that was probably the best thing to ever wake up to omg. im almost tempted to wake up heather so we can have some more fun ourselves before my parents wake up.

 

She glanced at the sleeping Heather, watching her eyes flick behind her lids as she slept. She was in a deep sleep, Veronica could tell that, and she almost felt bad for wanting to wake her up. Almost. But honestly, she knew the moment her parents woke up, then they'd have no chance. Her mother would come to wake them up, just to make sure that they understood the door was to stay open- which it had, the night before, until her parents had gone to bed, and Heather had climbed back in her lap, kissing her and _whining_ for her to fuck her- and then Heather would have to go home. Now would be the perfect chance… Her attention was drawn from Heather, back to the groupchat, as an influx of new messages came in.

 

**The Best Heather:**

Don't worry, she'll be ready to go when she wakes up. She always is.

**queen bee:**

snd pics

i wanna c her cryin alrdy 2day

\+ itd b hot af 2 c u 2 fckin agn

**The Best Heather:**

Heather, no one understands your text speech. Type like a normal adult.

**queen bee:**

not an adult tho

jst a teen grl

let me liv lfe mom

**The Best Heather:**

You calling me mom is kind of hot, not gonna lie

**queen bee:**

shut up heather

 

Wow. She hadn't been expecting that. Was that actually something people thought about? Was that another thing she was going to have to look into? She had a feeling there was going to be a lot of those though, knowing the Heathers, and knowing they were probably into some weird things that she didn't even know existed yet.

 

**im dying squirtle:**

wow okay. clearly i have a lot of kinks to learn with you three.

**The Best Heather:**

You know it, babe. What's the fun in being vanilla?

Just wait until you see some of Heather's though. You'll lose your shifqwazefghnjk

**im dying squirtle:**

uh what

**queen bee:**

hold on

**mommy kink bitch:**

stle her phne

nd chngd her name

 

Well, okay. That was obviously Heather Chandler texting from both of their phones, if the text speak was anything to go by. She wasn't all that surprised, though she would be surprised if Heather Duke didn't change it back, since she knew how now. Or, she had at least done it once before, right? Surely she could figure it out from there. She had to admit, if Heather forgot how, or didn't change it for a month again, that would be pretty funny… Surely she would remember to change it though, right?

Her thoughts were drawn to Heather McNamara once more, as the sleeping girl let out a short snore. It was a cute snore, a quite one that warmed her heart, and made her want to kiss her. Really though, it drew her attention back to the throbbing between her legs, and how soaked she felt. She once again thought about waking her up, and wondered if maybe she could wake her up the same way Heather McNamara had woke her up the day before… That would be a great way to end the throbbing between her legs, before her parents woke up too. She sent a message to the groupchat, wanting them to at least know why she was disappearing.

 

**im dying squirtle:**

ah. right. okay. im gonna wake up heather now because i honestly think im leaving a puddle on my sheets here.

**queen bee:**

wait gt her phn 2

nd chng her name 2 crybaby slut

pls

plsss

**mommy kink bitch:**

I hate this but agree with Heather. Please, Veronica. Please.

**queen bee:**

itll b funny

pls

**mommy kink bitch:**

Please.

**queen bee:**

pls

**mommy kink bitch:**

Please.

**queen bee:**

pls

**mommy kink bitch:**

Please.

**queen bee:**

pls

A small groan escaped her as she watched them spam please. They could be so annoying sometimes. They were lucky she liked them, honestly. That didn't change what they were asking her to do though. She couldn't bring herself to do it, no way in hell. Heather was a bitch, sure, but Veronica wasn't mean enough to go in and change information in her phone. That was her private property, and she had no right to unlock it and go through it enough to change her contact information on skype.

 

**im dying squirtle:**

no! im not mean like you guys! and thats like, an invasion of privacy!

**queen bee:**

squirter fckn do it

nd ill snd more pics

**mommy kink bitch:**

Squirter…

Squirter, Heather. Squirter.

 

That gave her a great idea for a new nickname… She quickly went in to change it, letting out a hum of satisfation once the change was final. There. It would be the perfect way to immortalise Heather's mistake, and she wouldn't have to worry about Heather Chandler calling her out about it. Maybe? Well, it was worth an attempt anyways. Chances were, Heather wouldn't even notice she had changed it. Once content with her new nickname, she opened the chat back up, reading the new messages they had sent since she had clicked off it.

 

**queen bee:**

stfu

just stfu heather

**mommy kink bitch:**

Make me.

Oh, you know what we should do while Veronica's here? We should totally send a copy of this month's calendar to Veronica.

 **squirter** **apparently:**

what calendar? what?

**mommy kink bitch:**

Heather made us a calendar so we can keep up with our dates for the month. Hold on, I've got my copy saved to my phone, I'll send it…

 

A moment later, a picture of a calendar appeared on the screen. It was colour coded, with the day before being red, followed by grey, and then a white box. Then, there was another grey, a yellow, a grey, another white, a grey, before it repeated itself with red and the pattern continued. The longer she looked over it, the more her head hurt, but she saved it to her phone regardless. She had a feeling that she was going to need it.

 

**squirter apparently:**

oh. okay. thanks.

**mommy kink bitch:**

Yellow is a date with Heather McNamara, red is a date with Heather Chandler, white is a free day, and gray is a group date.

For yours, turn the red to yellow, yellow to red, and the white box tomorrow green, since that's our date night now I guess.

Any questions?

**squirter apparently:**

is this an every month occurrence? a calendar like this one?

**mommy kink bitch:**

Heather makes them, so yes. Please try to stick to them too.

**queen bee:**

shell cry if u dont

nd not a good cry

**squirter apparently:**

okay. um. ill do that then.

gonna wake heather now tho so ttyl

 

Her phone was carefully sat back down on the nightstand, her not even bothering to read the last couple messages the girls were sending, as her attentions shifted to Heather McNamara. Her arms tightened around Veronica when she shifted, her eyes squeezing just a bit tighter, and she pulled her closer against her, enjoying the way their bodies fit together. It was an amazing feeling, really, and while she hated to end it, she desperately wanted to have some time together before her parents woke up.

Without a second thought, she kissed Heather, her hand slipping down to grab onto her rear. There was a muffled squeak against her lips as she squeezed her and pulled her close, Heather tensing up for just a moment, before she melted, and kissed back just as eagerly as Veronica would have expected her to have. She was still a bit sluggish, not fully awake quite yet, but slowly waking up, and Veronica wasted no time in pulling her on top of her.

Another squeak followed as Heather settled on top of her, letting herself be moved around with ease, and Veronica was grateful, even as Heather broke the kiss, her tired eyes sparkling with questions and something else. The same something else that had sparked into her eyes when she had crawled into Veronica's lap the night before, after her parents had gone to bed. Seeing it in her eyes alone was enough to make Veronica want to kiss her again, but she knew she should at least explain a little bit before she did.

“Once my mom and dad wake up, then they're gonna make us keep the door open again, and… I want some more time with you before they do.” Heather blinked tiredly, one eye going a bit faster than the other, as she tried to process what Veronica had said. Once it clicked, it was visible on her face, and she took no time at all to grind down on Veronica's hips, her fingers digging into her shoulders, and her grin wonderful and twinkling.

“I want more time with you too! I…” There was a pause for a yawn, Heather's fingers digging into her skin just a bit tighter, before she relaxed, grinding down on her lazily. “I want you to fuck me, Ron-Ron. Please?” she begged, and Veronica was quick to do her best to obey, kissing her eagerly, even as her phone buzzed once again with a new text. It could wait, she decided, as she rolled her hips up against Heather and revelled in the moan that followed.


	24. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Veronica waits for her mom to get home from dropping Heather off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whoops sorry for taking so long, it was just rly hard to write this chapter. hope yall enjoy anyways.

Slumped back on the couch, Veronica did her best to wait patiently for her mother. She really did. Even though it had been over thirty minutes since they left. Even though their trips normally took about twenty. Even though dinner the night before kept playing over and over again in her head. Even though Heather had given her a begging look when her mother had said she couldn't come with. Even though Heather looked like she was going to cry as she went along with her mother. She was trying her best to wait patiently.

Trying was really the key word. She had turned on the televison, and had flicked through every channel that she normally watched, along with a few that she didn't, in hopes of finding something to distract her. However, nothing interested her. Even new episodes of shows that normally had her raptured didn't keep her attention. New history documentaries, the stuff that normally had her listening intently, were recorded for later, in hopes she could watch them once her mother returned from dropping Heather off. As of now, she found herself repeatedly checking the time on her phone, and responding to texts from Mister Jason Dean and the groupchat on almost autopilot. She couldn't even remember what she had said to most of them, besides sharing a picture of Heather's sobbing face on the groupchat. The conversations were all a blur in her worried state, though she could at least say that the conversation topics were favourite classic books, and their upcoming math test, respectively.

Her mother was a nice woman. She wouldn't do anything mean to Heather, she didn't have a mean bone in her body. But that didn't mean she wasn't worried for Heather. She had seen the way she had froze up the night before, how she had clung to her both when her mother had come into the room and when they had gone down for dinner, and the fear in her eyes when her mother had told her to stay home. It made her chest ache, like something was clawing and kicking at her lungs, and no matter how hard she tried to push down the feelings, they came right back up to the surface. She tried to drown it out by looking through the apps she had on her phone and feeding the cats she had on the silly cat app Martha had introduced her to, but they kept bubbling back up and making her chest ache. Maybe actually focusing on a conversation would help?

She didn't want to talk to JD about what was going on, not without having to try to explain her relationships with the Heathers, and the two of them barely knew each other. Hell, after he had asked her what she had been up to earlier, they had started in on talking about their favourite authors and books. Bringing up the way a creature in her chest was squirming and trying to dig it's way out would ruin the mood, and she would hate to drop the topic they had now. It was actually pretty interesting, and it wasn't very often she got to talk about classical authors without being called a nerd or mocked. Hell, he even seemed to share her enthusiasm and had quoted a few of her favourite books back at her. The conversation was pleasant, and she didn't want to ruin it.

Then again, the idea of talking to the other two Heathers about what had happened was just as unappealing. They were currently discussing the existence of positive integers in one of the problems from their homework, and she had stopped paying attention to it for the most part, mostly because it didn't interest her, and also because she didn't have her homework with her to look over. She had let the two of them discuss it, not bothering to try and look over it for now, and it didn't seem right to interrupt that conversation either. They were both obviously concerned for the homework, and it wouldn't be fair to interrupt them because she was worried about Heather. Besides, Heather would come in later and see the messages, and that was the last thing she wanted. She wanted to keep it a secret from her, not wanting her to know she had been worried about her, for fear of how she'd react.

Maybe she could try texting Martha? Not specifically about the worry that was gnawing at her chest, but more to talk to her period. It had been a couple weeks already, and she missed her. Since the Heathers had agreed to let her talk to Martha without retaliating, as long as it wasn't in public, then she could text her, just to talk. Just to see if maybe they could hang out sometime after school. She would have to work around her dates with the Heathers, but she could still make it work, somehow. Hopefully. If Martha still wanted to be her friend, anyways...

Just as she grabbed her phone back up, intent on answering JD, the groupchat, and texting Martha, the front door opened. All of her thoughts slipped away as she scrambled to sit up on her knees on the couch, dropping her phone back onto it and looking towards her door. Everything she had been thinking flew out the window, once again thinking back to her mother and what had happened with Heather.

“Mom! You're back!” she cried as she threw her arms over the back of the couch, her eyes sparkling. Her mother looked over from where she stood in the doorway, her hand still on the doorknob, and raised a brow. She wanted to feel bad for scaring her, but honestly couldn't find it in herself, not after worrying so much about why she couldn't have gone with the two of them to take Heather home.

“Yes, I am… Don't sit on the couch like that,” she scolded, shutting the door behind her, and Veronica frowned. She turned around the right way and turned off the television, knowing that she wouldn't want to try talking over it right then. When she stood and finally turned back around, her mother's brows were furrowed, her purse half slid off of her shoulder. “What is you want, Ronnie dear?”

“How did things go with Heather? Everything go okay? She didn't… Freeze up again, or anything?” she asked, unable to keep the anxiety out of her voice. She found her hands ringing as she took a step towards her mother, but hesitated before going to meet her all the way. She was scared to know what she was going to say. What if she told her that she did? Since Heather was home now, it wasn't like she could do anything about it, besides call her, and if Heather wasn't talking again, that wouldn't go well. She could text her, maybe, but that would only work if Heather was okay with responding that way.

“It went fine, hun… I dropped her off like normal. Nothing more to report,” her mother assured, as she sat her purse down. She watched her kick off her shoes, chewing nervously on the inside of her cheek and making the whelp there just a little bigger. That wasn't what she was worried about though. If everything with Heather went 'like normal', did that mean there was the same awkward silence that always seemed to cling to the air when they were in the car with her mother? Or did it mean something else? That Heather hadn't responded to a word of what her mother had said? That her mother had told Heather never to come around again? That she didn't want her around her daughter again? A million thoughts rushed through her head, and finally, she had to duck her head, trying to force them all away so she could talk to her mother.

“So why couldn't I go with then? I don't understand. You normally encouragement to go with you when you're taking my friends home, so you don't get stuck alone with them.” She didn't realise how whiny her voice was, until it all came out, and there was a small pause, before her mother spoke again, not stepping any closer.

“Because I needed to talk to her, without you around.”

“Why? Did… I do something? Was it because I didn't tell you we were dating? Was it… Something else? I don't understand.” Again, her voice sounded whiny, and she hated how weak she felt. How small asking her mother these questions made her feel. It reminded her of when she had first joined the Heathers, when they had cornered her in the bathroom after Mrs. Fleming had stormed off, when they had told her how beautiful she was and offered to make her one of them. She had felt small then, like prey about to be tossed to a shark, and the feeling now was almost the same, except instead of like prey, she felt lost. Like she was supposed to be understanding what was going on, but really, she had no clue, and every second that passed made everything get more and more complicated, until it was once again too much, and her chest tightened in the familiar way it always did.

“Ronnie,” her mother sighed after a moment more, coming around the side of the couch and drawing her back to the present. She paused in front of her and tilted her head up, giving her a caring smile that only a mother could. It eased some of the tension in her shoulders and allowed her to relax into the gentle touch of her mother's hand on her chin. “Listen Ronnie, it was nothing against you, dear. I just wanted to talk to Heather, just me and her. I didn't want her to hide anything from me because she was scared of telling you something. If she was scared of telling you something, because she thought you'd think it was weird, then it wasn't going to get me anywhere, okay?”

“Okay,” she mumbled, giving a small and weak nod, and her mother smiled. Her hand dropped from her chin, and Veronica instantly missed the contact. She wondered if it would be childish to ask for a hug, and while she knew that the Heathers would say that it was, she couldn't help it, not with the way everything was slowly crashing against her shoulders, like waves threatening to swallow her whole. She opened her arms, holding them out to her sides, and before she could say a word, her mother wrapped her up in a tight hug, pulling her closer. The contact alone was enough to make her melt against her, burying her face into her shoulder. She relaxed against her, feeling the waves lapping at her shoulders slowly recede. For a few moments, she just sat there and let her mother hold her, before she finally drew back, enough to look her mother in the eye, and bit at her lip again. “What… What did you and Heather talk about, Mom?”

“We talked about last night, Ronnie. I don't think it's fair for me to tell you everything, because she seemed absolutely terrified to talk about it all, but I do want you to know that if Heather gets like that again, then it's okay. She's just gone nonverbal for a bit, and it's probably because of stress. If you're around, off her a piece of paper and a pencil to write on, okay?” The tone of voice she used was the same one she used when she was leaving out something important, because Veronica wasn't supposed to know it. It reminded her of when she was little and went to visit her at the hospital her mother worked at once. They had sat down for lunch with her father, and her mother had told her about a few of the kids who were very very sick, but wouldn't tell her what was wrong with them, no matter how much she prodded. The same feeling resurfaced then, and she had to fight down the bubbling curiosity. Heather would tell her when she was ready.

“Alright. Is there… Anything else I could do for her? To make things easier?” Her mother tilted her head, seeming to think it over for a moment, before she gave her a small smile. It was reassuring, one that said she was glad she wasn't asking anymore questions, and her hands slowly slid from Veronica's sides, to hold onto her elbows.

“I think that's a question you can ask her. It's more of personal preference than anything. If she wants you to do anything else that's different, then she can tell you about it. All I can suggest is being there for her when she needs it. You can do that, can't you?” Veronica nodded, short and slow, as she let go of her mother. Her mother's arms slipped free and she allowed her to step back, the warm smile still on her face. She smiled in return, glancing towards where she had left her phone on the couch when her mother had opened the door.

“Of course. I'll um… I'll talk to her about it. I think we're supposed to be having a sleepover at Heather's tonight, if it's okay to go to,” she said hesitantly, and saw her mother's eyes spark. She raised a brow, and Veronica could only give a sheepish smile, knowing where her mother's mind had probably went. There was no changing the direction though, not since her mother knew that they were all dating now. While she had been nice enough to let Heather stay the night and not kick her out, Veronica wasn't sure how she was going to let her stay at any of the Heathers' again, especially not for sleepovers.

“On a school night? Again? Are all four of you going to be there?” her mother asked, and she nodded, rubbing the back of her neck nervously. There wasn't a point in lying. It was supposed to be a group date, after all, and that meant all four of them. As long as she could make it, anyways. Otherwise, it would just be the three Heathers, and maybe, if she was lucky enough, they'd send her pictures if she couldn't make it. While she wanted to be there in person, pictures would still be nice if she couldn't.

“Yeah… All four of us. They've kind of got like, the whole month planned out, I think? They sent me a calendar earlier, and from what I can tell, they've got a bunch of sleepovers planned, or… At least, dates anyways… They're uh, kinda hard to understand, honestly.” She knew she was rambling again, but couldn't bring herself to stop, knowing that there was the chance her mother was going to say no, that she had to stay home, once she did. “Like, they've got the dates marked for all of us hanging out, or having a sleepover, or something anyways, but I don't know if every date like that is a sleepover, or if we're just going to the mall or something, ya know? I uh… I should probably have asked, but I honestly didn't think about that until now, and...”

“Ronnie, dear… Just go get ready. Let me know where to go and to whose house I'm taking you to later,” her mother sighed, resignation in her voice, and she couldn't help grinning, even though her mother had cut her nervous rambling off. She pressed a quick kiss to her mother's cheek, grinning ear to ear, and rushed off to do as she had been told, not wanting to give her mother a chance to change her mind. She was giddy to see the girls, and excited to tell them that her mother didn't seem to mind them all hanging out. Even as excited as she was, she didn't miss her mother mumbling, “Kids...” as she ran up the stairs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay, so... im taking a short break from here. just a week. and before you complain, please realise in the past like, what, six weeks? ive wrote over 60k. and its starting to take a toll on my wrists to write so much tbh. so its just a week. and then ill be back to posting chapters like normal. but for the next week, im on hiatus, simply bc i need a break. so ill see yall next wednesday, may the 10th.


	25. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Heathers argue, and Veronica watches.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guess whos back! back again! thats right! its me! and im back with a new chapter!! i hope yall enjoy bc i had a lot of fun writing this one, lmao,,,, after this, updates are back to their regular scheduling! which means a new chapter will be up within the next three days!

Trying her best to lay attention to the television, Veronica relaxed against the couch. It was a couple hours before she was supposed to go to Heather’s house- Chandler’s, she had assumed, because that’s where most of their sleepovers took place, unless specified otherwise- and she was trying to relax before she left. Not that she couldn’t relax with the Heathers, but in the last few hours, she had packed a bag for the night, finished her homework, and done her fair share of chores around the house, and she was exhausted. She was trying to enjoy the little bit of time alone she got before she left home, knowing she wouldn’t get anymore until after school the next day, and even then, it would only be for a few hours.

Not that she didn’t care for the Heathers, not that she hated their dates, but it was a little overwhelming at times. The Heathers didn’t seem to mind constantly being together, but she wasn’t used to it. She wasn’t used to spending practically every moment of her life with three other people, and hell, even when she had been friends with Martha, they hadn’t spent every moment outside of school together. They still had time apart and only had sleepovers on the weekends. During the week, they hung out after school, sure, but never stayed the night, not unless it was summer time. She almost wondered how summers with the Heathers went, if they were always together, or if they ever got annoyed with each other. It didn’t really seem to be the case, not as far as she could tell, besides perhaps from the snappy comments they made towards each other while in school, but even then, they didn’t separate, or spend time away from each other. Did they ever? She couldn’t really think of much of an instance where they did. The most that came to mind was when they were doing activities, like Heather’s yearbook or Heather’s cheerleading, or the time between sleepovers, so maybe they didn’t mind spending all of that time together, even if it was a little overwhelming for her.

Would she change it though? While it overwhelmed her at times, she couldn’t find it in herself to say that she would. She enjoyed spending time with the Heathers, enjoyed being around them so much. They were just a little overwhelming at times. Maybe she could talk to them, to see if they wouldn’t mind her skipping a group sleepover now and then. She didn’t think it was too much to ask for a couple days a week to herself, even though they had only been dating for a day and a half. The past couple weeks they had been practically dating though, if they calendar they had given her was any indicator, and while she adored them and wanted to be near them, spending every waking moment with them was starting to wear her out. The Heathers themselves had been dating for a lot longer anyways, so they’d probably appreciate her being out of their hair for a day. That was really the best scenario, as far as she could tell, and the worst… Well, she did her best not to think about the worst, because she wasn’t sure exactly what would be the worst. Tears came to mind, but she wasn’t really sure she could see any of them but Heather McNamara crying because she didn’t want to spend every waking moment with them. Heather Duke seemed the type to take it personally, and Heather Chandler would just probably ignore her for a week. It wasn’t anything against them though, she just… Needed time to recharge her social battery from time to time, with peace and quiet.

The doorbell rang and snapped her from her thoughts, jolting her upright on the couch. Thinking that it was going to be one of her mother’s nurse friends, she muted the television and hopped up off of the couch. “Coming!” she yelled to the front door, mostly so her parents wouldn’t worry about the door and so whoever it wasn’t wouldn’t ring the bell again, and made her way over to answer it. While her mother hadn’t told her she had been expecting guests, it was possible that one of them was dropping by unannounced, and they were some of the few people she didn’t mind seeing her still dressed in her pajamas from the night before. She hadn’t bothered to get dressed yet, not since it would be a few hours before the Heathers would stop by, and knew her mother’s friends had seen her in worse. Hell, she knew a few of them had even been around long enough to have changed her diapers, so she wasn’t too worried about what she was dressed in. However, instead of finding one of her mother’s friends when she opened the door, she came face to face with not one, not two, but all three of the Heathers. In her moment of surprise, she jerked back slightly, and squealed, “Gyaaahhh!”

“Wow, Veronica. That’s no way to greet your girlfriends,” Heather Chandler cooed, and Veronica could only stare ahead at the three, even as she heard the other two snicker. She hadn't been expecting to see them so soon, and certainly hadn't been expecting to see them so… Dressed up. While they were normally rather dressed up when they went to school, this was different. It was a different type of dressed up, more extravagant but somehow simpler, and it stole her breathe away. They were beautiful, absolutely gorgeous, and though she could tell she was staring, she didn't have it in herself to look away. Hell, she wasn't even aware that the Heathers _could_ dress up more than they did when they went to school, but the proof was in front of her. “Stare much, Roni? Are you gonna let us in, or just stand there and gape?”

“S-sorry,” she mumbled, taking a step back from the door, and allowing the Heathers to slip inside of her house. She shut the door behind them and looked them over again, just as it hit her that these must have been their date clothes. Dressed in a seductive and slim red dress, her lips the same beautiful red that Veronica so loved, Heather Chandler turned to glare at her, looking her up and down, and Veronica leaned against the door, wishing desperately that she had changed out of her pajamas earlier. “I wasn't uh… I wasn't expecting you guys for a few more hours...”

“What are you _wearing_?” Heather Chandler asked, her nose wrinkling, and Heather McNamara tilted her head. Wearing an adorable yellow dress that ended in ruffles, her lips an endearing shade of pink, she leaned against Heather Chandler and wrapped her arms around one of hers. Given the height difference between the two, it looked almost ridiculous, with her head barely reaching Heather Chandler's shoulder, but all the same, she felt her heart swelling, and wanted nothing more than to kiss the both of them then, and to wrap them up in her arms.

“I'm pretty sure that's the same pair of pyjamas she was wearing when I left,” she giggled, and Heather Duke sneered, leaning on Heather Chandler's other side, her head just barely over her shoulder. She wasn't wearing a dress like the other two, instead dressed in a dark green skirt and black top, her lips coloured a different shade of pink, but was still just as beautiful as the other two, and stole Veronica's breath away all the same.

“It probably is. Jeez, Ronica, were you planning on wearing that out on our date?” Heather Duke hummed, in a way that dripped with poison and made her want to draw back, but she knew that, despite the way the girls were acting, that wasn't the real them. The real Heathers were the ones who had smeared pancake batter on each other's faces, who snored all night, who sent her naughty pictures and argued over spelling. They just had their façades up, for whatever reason they may have had, and it made her curious as to why, but more than anything, she had to question what the girls meant were dressed up for. Weren't they supposed to be having a sleepover? Why were they all so dressed up? What had Heather Duke meant by date?

“What? I thought we were gonna have a sleepover again. What date are you talking about?” She leaned back against the front door, and watched as the three Heathers exchanged glances. Slowly, their smugness dissolved, into one of confusion, looking amongst themselves, as if one of them was going to spit out the answer, before Heather Chandler looked down at Heather McNamara, her eyes cold and steely.

“Heather, you did tell Veronica that we were going out tonight, right?” Heather Chandler hissed, her attention focused on Heather McNamara, and Heather McNamara drew back under her cruel gaze, hiding her face against her arm, and letting out a small, pitiful whine, one that made Veronica want to do nothing more than wrap her up in her arms and hold her close.

“That was Heather's job! She said she would talk to her about it!”

“I did not!” Heather Duke squawked, indignant, and straightened up. Veronica watched as she stepped in front of the other two Heathers, puffing out her cheeks before she turned her back to Veronica. She stomped a foot and jabbed a finger into Heather Chandler's chest, and she had to wonder what kind of horrible retaliation Heather Chandler would have gave, had then been at school instead of in the safety of her home, with no prying eyes anywhere to be seen. She figured she was lucky that they were just in her home though, instead of anywhere public. Still, seeing Heather Duke puffed up and so absolutely _annoyed_ made Veronica want to do nothing more than wrap her up in her arms and kiss her until her anger dissolved. “You said she was going to talk to her about it! Because you wanted to make sure she understood the proper dinner etiquette, or whatever the fuck you meant when you were rambling on about what dating us meant!”

“Shut up, Heather! I did not!” Heather Chandler growled, a light blush starting to colour her cheeks. She grabbed the hand prodding her chest and held it tight, keeping Heather Duke from poking her again, and Veronica had to wonder if Heather Chandler was actually… _flustered_. It seemed like such a dirty word when it came to Heather Chandler, but the longer she glared at Heather Duke, the darker her cheeks got, until Veronica was almost certain that she was actually embarrassed. What about, she couldn't exactly pinpoint, but the longer she watched her, the more she found herself wanting to kiss her too, to see exactly how red she could really get. “Heather said she'd talk to her at their dumb sleepover, so it's all her fault!”

“Nuh-uh! Don't blame this on me!” Heather McNamara squeaked, stepping away from Heather Chandler's side, and Heather Chandler looked to her, seeming both hurt that she had stepped away, and annoyed at her for what she assumed was her fault. “It's Heather's fault! She said she was going to talk to her about it after she talked about her own date idea!”

“I did not! And it's Heather's fault, not mine! She said that she'd tell her and would make sure Veronica understood how to act in public, so she wouldn't out us!” Heather Duke shrieked, and just like that, they dissolved into a mess of bickering that Veronica only half understood any of. She watched them yell and shriek at each other, trying to talk over each other and each be the dominant part of the conversation, and could only groan. All of the yelling was starting to hurt her head. She had to shut them up. How though? It wasn't every day she saw the three of them arguing like this, and it wasn't every day that they were at each other's throats, because somewhere along the line, someone forgot to tell her about their plans for the night.

What would be the right thing to do? They seemed to have completely forgotten she was there, even though they were standing in her house, arguing about her. She wanted to kiss them all, to tell them to enjoy the night they had planned together instead of worrying about who didn't tell her what, but she wasn't sure that would be a good idea. Getting in the middle of three screaming Heathers to kiss them, well… It would be a death wish, but surely it would shut them up, right? She hoped so, because she didn't have many other ideas otherwise.

The first target was Heather Duke. She grabbed onto her shoulders and spun her around, planting a kiss on her lips before she had time to react. Then, as quick as she could, she grabbed Heather McNamara and bent down enough to kiss her as well, swallowing the noise of surprise she made. Last, was Heather Chandler, and she was quick to grab her shoulders and pull her close enough to kiss her as well, stopping the distressed squawk she made when Veronica pulled her down to her level. She let go of her shoulders then and pulled away, looking between the Heathers, and seeing each of their cheeks colouring darkly as they stared at her, seeming confused by her kisses, but no longer arguing. Well, it was a start anyways.

“I really don't think it matters who was supposed to tell me, and who didn't. What matters now is that I know now. So please, stop arguing like three year olds, and tell me what's up, before I decide to kick you out of my house and spend the night with Martha instead.” As she looked to each of them, they refused to meet her eye, each staring off at separate parts of the floor, and it reminded her of children that had just been scolded. She waited for one of them to speak up, but none of them seemed interested, as if her carpet had just become the most interesting thing in the world. She groaned and put her hands on her hips, doing her best to look intimating, even though she was almost certain it was a total failure. “Someone better start talking, now, or I'm gonna start pushing you out the door.”

“Nooo!” Heather McNamara whined as she looked up at her, the first to buckle, and grabbed onto one of her arms. She clung to her tight, her bottom lip sticking out and a pitiful set of puppy dog eyes staring up at her. Veronica did her best to not let it affect her, her gaze as steely as she could manage, and her hands still on her hips as she looked down at Heather McNamara. “Please, Ron-Ron! Don't kick us out! We'll be good! Won't we girls?”

When the other two echoed Heather McNamara, agreeing to be good, Veronica looked up to them as well, and saw twin pouts on their faces. With all three of them putting on their best puppy dog eyes, she was certain there was no way she was going to be able to win, not with how absolutely adorable, and yet, pathetic, the three of them looked. She felt her annoyance slipping away, and groaned as it was quickly replaced with reluctant acceptance that, no, she wouldn't be pushing the three of them out, because they knew how to work together, and knew how to play to her weaknesses, even if she dared not to admit it. “Fiiiine… I won't kick you out… But someone better explain what we're supposed to be doing tonight, because I am not ready to go out anywhere, and I know the three of you are probably just _dying_ to take me upstairs and get me ready for whatever the hell it is you have planned. So walk and talk girls, so we can get out of here as soon as possible and get going to wherever the fuck you're wanting to take me.”


	26. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heather Duke apologies and Veronica cuddles her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whoops sorry i meant to post this yesterday but instead slept for over twelve hours so!!! have!!! this!!!!

It was after she had led the Heathers to her room, after she had shut the door despite knowing her mother would protest if she found out, and after Heather Chandler and Heather McNamara had started digging through her closet for something for her to wear on their date, that Heather Duke sat beside her on the bed. She had leaned against Veronica, staying silent for a few moments as they watched their girlfriends bicker about what she had in her closet and throw item after item out on the ground, occasionally groaning in disgust or cooing at something they thought was cute, and Veronica had wrapped an arm around her waist loosely. She enjoyed the close contact, the feeling of the warm body pressed to her own, and hadn't realised how starved for physical contact she had been until she had started dating the Heathers.

She wouldn't have said before that she desired physical contact. Not really. Martha was quite physical, hugging her and cuddling with her when their watched movies, and her own parents were quite affectionate when they got to spend time together, but it wasn't like getting a hug or cuddling with someone had been an every day activity. Since she had started dating the Heathers though, she found herself craving their touch, craving the feeling of their bodies against her own.

The craving wasn't necessarily sexual either. She just enjoyed the way their bodies felt beside her. Cuddling with them the past few days had left something inside her craving for more of their contact, and she was content the Heathers seemed to feel about the same, or were at least cuddling with her whenever they were around for their own reasons. She turned to look at Heather, and wondered if it would be okay to ask something like that. Would it be crossing the line, to ask if she too craved affection? Just as the thought crossed her mind, Heather looked up at her, and she gave an awkward smile at being caught looking at her.

It was then, as she smiled clumsily down at Heather, that Heather leaned up and kissed her. She was shocked, for a moment, not entirely expecting to feel her lips on her own when she had looked over at her, but she wasn't going to complain on the matter. She instead leaned into the feeling of her lips on her own, barely resisting the urge to whine she pulled away, and looked over the adorable blush starting to colour her cheeks. She was staring pointedly at the ground then, as if her gaze would burn a hole in the carpet, or erase what she had done from Veronica's memory.

She couldn't help but stare at her afterwards though, having to wonder exactly what had brought that up. She didn't think that Heather Duke, of all the Heathers, would be the type to just kiss someone randomly, but what did she know? She had only been dating them for a couple days now. Maybe Heather Duke was secretly the type to kiss people whenever she felt like it. It didn't exactly seem like her, but she could have been wrong. She hadn't thought the Heathers were gay either, and yet, here she was, dating not one, but all three of them at once. That alone proved that maybe she had a few misconceptions about the Heathers.

“St-stop staring at me like that,” Heather grumbled, snapping her from her thoughts, and her own cheeks started to burn as she bit her lip. She worried at the sore on the inside of her cheek as she glanced away, pulling her arm away from around her. However, she stopped when she felt Heather's hands on her wrist, keeping it from moving too far away, and when she looked back to her, she saw she was still glaring at the ground. “D-don't… Please.”

“Okay,” she mumbled, just a little uneasily, and leaned into her side once more. Heather melted against her, closing her eyes and resting her head on her shoulder, and Veronica squeezed her close. She didn't understand exactly what she had done to upset Heather, or if Heather was really upset. She was still figuring out what part of them was real, and what part of them was what they kept up to the public eye. She figured she should ask though, just to make sure, because it was better than just sitting there until Heather Chandler and Heather McNamara decided on what they wanted her to wear. “Are… Are you okay?”

“I'm fine,” was the almost instant response, Heahter's face scrunching up in annoyance, before she winced, and sighed. She slumped against Veronica, nuzzling into her shoulder, and let out a small nod that made Veronica want to do nothing more than kiss her. “Sorry… I'm just… A little embarrassed. I kinda feel bad about what I did to you. Pinning you against the wall in the janitor's closet was uh… Definitely the wrong thing to do, and lying to you about Heather was… Bad too. I know that when you kissed Heather and Heather, it was under better circumstances than them lying to you like I did, and I… I wanted to have a good kiss with you too.”

She listened intensely as Heather stumbled over her explanation, squeezing her close but not saying a word. What she had said was at least true. Everything with Heather and Heather had been better. While all three of them had dragged her away from the other two, Heather Chandler hadn't had lied about why she wanted to. She had told her afterwards, flat out, that she had done so to kiss her, and after they had kissed, that had been it. And while Heather McNamara did lie about the time the sleepover was supposed to start, Veronica hadn't asked any questions when she had kissed her, so there hadn't been any other lies. Heather Duke had lied about Heather Chandler using her, Veronica didn't realise exactly how bad the circumstances had been until then.

“I'm not going to say it's okay, because it's really not,” she started, and Heather Duke gave a small nod against her shoulder in understanding. “But… I'm grateful you feel bad about it and realise what you did was wrong. It… If you hadn't lied to me, then I'm not sure I would have let you do what you did. It hurt to think that Heather was using me for her own personal gain, and I let you under my skirt because it was easier to focus on rather than thinking that she was playing with my emotions again and had only comforted me because she was trying to get under my skirt.”

“I'm… Fuck, Veronica, I'm sorry. Really sorry. I shouldn't have used you like that,” Heather sighed, rubbing a hand across her face. She looked to her and watched her stare at the ground, not daring to meet Veronica's eye, and she tried not to think about how much it had hurt to think that Heather Chandler had been using her. “I wanted to get back at Heather, ya know? It was some dumb petty thing, because when I saw her kissing you, I knew she was going to want to be your first… Everything. She was my first kiss, and Heather has told me that she was hers too, so I was jealous that she was getting to take your firsts too. I knew that she had some feelings for you, because she wouldn't have done that otherwise, and I used you to get back at her. I'm really fucking sorry for being such a dick.”

“I appreciate you being sorry. I'm not really hurting anymore, but it was still a shitty thing to do,” she said, and knew it was true. She wasn't really hurt that Heather Duke had lied to her, not after the past couple days of mulling over it, but that really didn't make it any better for Heather to have done to her. “Thank you for talking with me about it though. It means a lot to know you know what you did to me was wrong. You're not gonna do it again, are you?”

“Hell no,” Heather said, and looked up at her. Their eyes met, and Veronica could see the worry coursing there. She looked absolutely distraught, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth and brows furrowed, like she was waiting for the ball to drop, for something horrible to happen, and Veronica almost wanted to kiss the wrinkles on her forehead away, to kiss the corner of her lips until she smiled, but was worried it would ruin the mood right then. It was a serious topic, and she didn't quite think it needed to be dropped quite yet. “I promise I won't lie to you like that again. I do want to make it up to you though, in any way I can. Please, can I make it up to you? I'll do anything, whatever you want. Please. Let me make it up to you.”

The worry seemed to grow, until tears were pricking in Heather's eyes, and it made Veronica pause. Did… Heather think she was going to break up with her for it? She wasn't going to, not unless it happened again, but she wasn't quite sure how to try and soothe that fear. Heather almost sounded hysterical, her hands wringing in her lap, and her eyes flitting about. It was like she was searching for something, searching for the end maybe, and Veronica knew the end was no where in sight. With a sigh, she pulled Heather against her, shifting her so she was sitting on her lap, and tried not to enjoy the small squeak she gave as she was moved about. Heather squirmed to get comfortable, looking more awkward than Veronica had ever seen her as wrung her hands in front of her, and eventually settled for sitting on her knees, not quite on Veronica's lap, and ready to move if so the need arose.

“Heather, you don't have to make it up to me. You being sorry is enough. It shows you care about my feelings and don't just think of me as a toy that you can use and throw away. Calm down, okay?” she soothed, just as the tears in Heather's eyes started to streak her cheeks. Carefully, she wiped her thumbs along her cheekbones and wiped them away, before she cupped her cheeks and leaned forward to kiss her. For a moment, Heather was stiff, almost unsure, before she melted against her lips, finally melting into her touch. When Veronica pulled back, she moved to follow her, leaning against her chest, her eyes shining with unshed tears as she looked up at her.

“Thank you, 'ronica. I'm… I'll do my best to calm down and act better with you,” she sighed, and Veronica simply nodded, giving her a small smile to show she appreciated it. Slowly, Heather shifted to rest her head on Veronica's shoulder, breathing shallowly against her collarbone, and she wrapped both arms around her waist, pulling her close. She felt Heather loop one arm around her neck and was content to cradle her close, knowing that Heather needed the comfort right then just as much as she did. The cuddling alone was like a warm feeling that made her chest swell, much better than the squeezing that she was used to, and she was content to nuzzle her nose into the top of Heather's head, revelling in the scent of mint that met her nose.

“You're adorable, Heather. You know that?” she mumbled, and Heather let out an adorably squeaky gasp, one that was half startled, half flustered, before she felt her hiding her face against her neck. She couldn't help but smirk, rubbing circles along her back slowly, before she remembered what she had spent a few hours doing earlier that day. “Oh, um. Remember what I told you yesterday? That I'd look into everything and do my best to research it all?

“Yeah? Do you have any questions? I promise I'll do my best to answer them,” Heather mumbled, and she shook her head, closing her eyes and focusing on the feeling of Heather's body so close to her own. She was warm, their bodies fitting together almost perfectly, and she wanted nothing more than to just hold her there and revel in the closeness of her warm body against her own.

“No. I think I understand. Heather is a girl who's cootchie looks different from other cootchies and you have a dick. But that uh… That doesn't make you guys any less of a girl than me. And Heather is only a girl sometimes, so I'm happy to call her whatever she wants me to call her when she isn't feeling like a girl,” she said, finding her cheeks only starting to colour for a moment once she mentioned what lied between their legs. Heather didn't seem to mind though, simply nuzzling into her neck with a small nod for now, and she found herself biting her lip. Shit. She did have a question. “No, okay, I do have a question. How am I supposed to know what to call Heather…?”

“She'll let you know. Don't worry. If you would download Snapchat, you'd get updates daily on what she's preferring and what she's wearing, and we could add you to our groupchat there too,” Heather grumbled, just a hint of bitterness in her tone, and Veronica fought against blushing at the feeling of her breath tickling her skin. Instead, she groaned. Why did they want her to get Snapchat? She didn't understand what the big fuss about such a dumb app was.

“How many groupchats do you guys even have? And why should I get Snapchat? It's not like I'll have any one on there but you guys, and maybe Martha, and I don't see the point in the picture messages,” she grumbles, and Heather snorted. She tried not to feel hurt by it, hoping it wasn't because of her mentioning Martha. A moment later, she felt teeth nipping against her skin, drawing out a small yelp as she stiffened under the feeling.

“That's the point, Veronica. You liked the pictures we sent earlier, didn't you? Imagine if we had a way to send just pictures to you,”Heather hummed, and her cheeks burned. She opened her mouth to say something, but instantly closed it again when nothing came to mind. This happened a few times, before she finally swallowed the drool she could feel starting to build up, and Heather giggled against her throat. “I knew you'd like the idea… Now will you download it? Please? Just for us?”

“F-fine,” she sputtered, closing her eyes and wishing herself to calm down enough to get through their date for the night. She could feel liquid heat starting to pool in her stomach, making her skin thrum and fire starting to bubble up in her veins, but she tried to ignore it and ignore the urge to press closer to Heather's mouth and beg for more. “I'll um… I'll download it as soon as I can. A-are there any more pictures I can see? That um, you have maybe?”

“Mmm… I think I could find _one_.” Heather pulled away from her neck, and she instantly missed the contact, but tried not to think about it, instead focusing on what Heather was doing. She watched her pull out of her phone and hide it away so she could unlock it, though Veronica didn't care to watch and see, before she pulled open her gallery. Just as Veronica leaned in to look again, a squeal came from Heather McNamara. She looked up, just in time to see her pulling out a dark blue button up. It was rather simple, really, but was rather lowcut, and that had been the main reason it had been hidden so far back in her closet.

“Oh, oh! Heather! This is like, totally perfect! Ron-Ron will look absolutely fab in this, and she can wear a black skirt so she'll match Heather! It'll be very!” Heather McNamara gushed, and Veronica felt her cheeks starting to colour at the thought alone. When Heather slid off of her lap to join Heather and Heather though, she frowned and slumped back against her bed, watching her walk over to the other two. Probably to discuss her outfit. She did her best not to think about that then, instead pulling her own phone free from her pocket. She had Snapchat to install, after all.


	27. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heather Duke and Veronica spend more time together, in the back seat of Heather Chandler's Porsche.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so im sorry this took so long but ive been moving and personal junk has been slowly killing me, sorry yall. but!!! good news!!! theres more dukesaw ahead!!!!

After the Heathers had addressed her clothes, and she had managed to change in the bathroom despite their whines of protest, the three of them swarmed her. While she had changed, they had found her makeup, and the moment she returned, they were on her. It wasn't the first time she found herself at their mercy, but it was the first time she found them cooing over her as they worked on her makeup and hair. She found herself getting peppered with compliments each time one of them decided to notice something new about her, her cheeks colouring, until finally, they deemed her ready, and ushered her out the door, barely giving her time to say goodbye to her mother and father from where they sat on the couch, complaining about the time and how long they had to go. However, their rushing came to a halt as Heather Chandler motioned Heather Duke and Veronica towards the backseat of her Porsche.

“Why do I have to sit in the back?” Heather Duke groaned, and Veronica watched as Heather Chandler paused in the middle of pulling herself into the diver's seat of her Porsche. She turned to look at Heather Duke, and Veronica bit her lip, slipping into the back seat without a complaint. Arguing with Heather Chandler was always a bad idea, everyone knew that, but hell if Heather Duke wasn’t going to try today, it seemed. Carefully buckling herself in against the door opposite Heather Chandler's, she spared a glance at where Heather McNamara had perched herself in the passenger's seat, glancing towards where Heather Chandler and Heather Duke were standing outside the car.

“Because Heather, Heather gets sick when she sits in the back seat, and you'll just fall asleep anyways. Besides, I could still make you walk. So shut the fuck up and get in the back with Veronica before we motor and leave your ass,” Heather Chandler hissed, and Heahter Duke groaned again. She reluctantly climbed in next to Veronica and crossed her arms over her chest, glaring at the floorboards. It was kind of adorable, how pouty she was being right then, all because she had to sit in the backseat. Given, there wasn't really all that much room in the back, but they didn't have much of a choice in the matter, not if all of them wanted to all fit in Heather Chandler's car.

“Aw, come on Heather, it won't be that bad,” Heather McNamara cooed, just as Heather Chandler climbed into the driver's seat and Heather Duke turned to glare at her. It wasn't often that they ended up riding in Heather Chandler's Porsche, not all four of them at once, and Veronica had personally never complained about being told to sit in the back. She had to wonder though, was this normal? Did Heather Duke always throw a fit about having to sit in the back seat? Whenever they were riding in the Jeep, she was always the one to drive, so it wasn't like she was forced to sit in the back then. This was different though, since she wasn't driving, so Veronica couldn't quite be sure.

“Shut up Heather,” Heather Duke snapped, before she stuck out her tongue. That was… strangely adorable, even if a little cruel. That didn't really seem like the type of thing she would have seen from the Heathers in public, and she decided then to enjoy every moment of these little exchanges between them all, because honestly, every second of it was wonderful, from their small little mannerisms of slumped shoulders and yawns that went unhidden, to the bigger things, like how they interacted with each other. Heather McNamara let out an offended noise and turned back towards the front, just in time for Heather Chandler to turn around and glare at Heather Duke.

“Shut up yourself, Heather! And put your seatbelt on! I'm not starting the car until you do!” Heather Chandler growled, and didn't turn around until Heather Duke put her seatbelt on. She continued to pout though, and Veronica leaned closer, pressing a kiss to her cheek. Hopefully she could distract her from the fact they were sitting in the backseat, just for a little bit anyways. It would be better than her sitting there pouting for the entire car ride. Heather turned to look at her then, her bottom lip sticking out, and Veronica barely held back from kissing her again.

“Oh, come on, don't pout, Heather….. You're back here with me at least. That's something, right?” she asked, and Heather furrowed her brows, seeming to think over things. Would there be anything she could do to help her believe it? Maybe she could just cuddle with her? That could work, right? “You don't have to sit there and pout, Heather. We could cuddle and talk while Heather drives, okay?” For a moment, Heather hesitated, glaring at the floor, before she leaned against Veronica and the divider between their seats, though her expression didn't change.

“Fine. We can cuddle. Not like we have much a choice in the matter anyways,” she grumbled, and Veronica couldn't help but grin, resting her head on top of Heather's. She scooted a little closer and wrapped her arm around her, the best she could do with them each sitting against the windows and the divider between them. It was a bit awkward, but she was enjoying the contact regardless, though remembering that they were in Heather Chandler's Porsche did make her pause slightly. Would Heather Chandler care that the were cuddling again on their group date? She glanced up at the front seat, as if looking for Heather Chandler's approval, and was surprised to see Heather McNamara leaned across the front seat divider, her head resting on Heather's shoulder, and could hear the two of them talking softly, though what about she had no clue.

No, she didn't think Heather Chandler would mind. For the moment, she seemed relaxed and happy with Heather McNamara's head on her shoulder. They both did, honestly, and she was content to once again relax against Heather Duke, sparing a look down at her. Heather Duke was still glaring down at the floorboards though, and Veronica furrowed her brows in thought. What was that about? Why exactly was Heather so upset about sitting in the backseat?

“What are you upset about exactly, anyways?” she mumbled, and Heather turned to glare at her, her eyes cold. Once she seemed to realise what she was doing though, her expression melted, and she glanced back to the floorboard, shuffling her feet bout a bit awkwardly. She felt the urge to kiss her again, but again fought it down, hoping to get a solid answer out of Heather. She could sit with her as quietly as possible until they arrived at wherever the Heathers were dragging her off to after spending over twenty minutes on her makeup and hair, if it came to it. She doubted it would, not with how Heather was already starting to squirm from the silence, and when Heather looked up to her, something shining in her eyes she knew she had already won.

“I'm upset because they always do this. They stick me in the back and cuddle and giggle and I hate it,” Heather Duke grumbled, turning to glare at the front seat, just as Heather McNamara pressed a kiss to Heather Chandler's cheek. Veronica frowned slightly and squeezed Heather closer, taking a moment to completely understand what Heather was saying. Did… Did she mean she was _jealous_ that their girlfriends weren't paying attention to her?

“You're jealous,” she said without really thinking about it, and the glare Heather gave her was enough to instantly make her backtrack, shaking her head and holding up both hands between them, as if that would keep Heather from reaching across the divider and wringing her neck. She tried not to think about the way Heather seemed to draw in on herself now that her arm was missing from around her, and instead shook her head. “I don't mean it like that. I meant, just… I understand. You're jealous that they stick you back here and don't pay any attention to you. And that's okay. But um, you're not back here by yourself right now. I'm here with you. So you don't have to be jealous of them right now, because you have me. I know I'm not much, but—”

Lips pressed to her own, her words dying on her lips, and she found herself leaning into the touch, just before Heather pulled away, a dangerous smirk playing on her lips.

“Shut up, Veronica. You're amazing, and I _guess_ you're right. I should focus on sitting back here with you, and not about the two of them being dicks and affectionate without me,” Heather Duke hummed, resting her head on Veronica's shoulder again, and she couldn't help but beam. The simple compliment had her cheeks burning, and she wanted nothing more than to smother her face into Heather's hair and breathe in the delicious scent of mint that clung to every fibre of her being. It was almost funny, how much Heather smelt like mint, since green was her colour, but she didn't dare say a word about it, because she honestly loved it. She wouldn't give up the way it clung to Heather, the same way the lingering scent of bubblegum shampoo seemed to cling to Heather McNamara. Really, there was nothing about her girlfriends she would have ever given up.

Looking over her though, she felt her lips tingle, just slightly, and wondered if it would be too much to ask if they kissed again. She wanted to feel Heather's lips on her own again, because they were intoxicating. Just the feeling alone, for the briefest moment that they had kissed, made her want to kiss her again and again, until neither of them could breathe, until they were left gasping and needing to pull away out of desperation, not because they wanted to. At the same time though, she didn't want to do anything that the Heathers didn't want fully and entirely. The more she thought about it, the more she felt her cheeks starting to colour, and the more she bit on her lip, until she felt the slight bitterness of blood. At that point, she finally let go of her lip, then looked to Heather, catching her glancing up at her at that moment.

“Do you… Think that maybe we could kiss a little bit more? We don't have to go any further than that, because we still have whatever the hell it is you guys have planned for the date, but… I really want to kiss you again,” she said, and bit down on her lip again. Not quite hard enough to draw blood again, but enough to distract her from the desperate need to kiss Heather again until she pushed her away so they could both breathe. She wanted to know it was okay before she did.

“Veronica… You don't have to ask to kiss me.” Heather shifted up, pulling away from her shoulder to look her in the eye, and Veronica hesitated, not quite able to find her words. She wasn't sure how to explain that she didn't want to be like one of those boys who forced things on the Heathers, who would force things on them because they could and expected something from their dates, because she didn't expect anything. Sure, she wanted to kiss them, wanted to steal their breath away, but she wanted to make sure that they all wanted it too. She didn't want to do anything that the Heathers didn't want. “Why are you even asking? Just kiss me again already.”

“Heather, I don't… I don't want to be like those boys that go out on dates with you guys, and expects you to do something at the end of the date because they took you out. I don't… I want everything to be what you want too,” she mumbled, finding it harder to meet Heather's eyes the more she spoke, before she finally glanced down at the floorboards. How ironic. She finally got Heather to meet her eye and explain what was wrong, and now she was the one looking away.

“Veronica… Dammit, you aren't like those boys. If we told you to stop, you'd stop, wouldn't you?” Heather Duke asked, and she nodded hesitantly, before she felt Heather's hands on her chin. She lifted her head up slowly, so that their eyes met again, and Veronica tried to resist the urge to chew on her lip again. She didn't think the Heathers would want to kiss her if her lip was a bloody mess from her chewing on it, and already she had chewed a new hole in her lip, one that she was sure they'd find disgusting if they ever knew.

“Yeah, of course, but--” she tried, but Heather cut her off.

“No buts. That's what makes you different from the boys who take us out. All they ever want is a fuck, and don't take no for an answer. They go to whatever lengths they feel like they need to for them to get what they want, and you just told me that if we told you to stop, you would. That makes you different from them. Jeez, where is this coming from anyways? You've been nothing but eager since we started dating. Is it something I said? Is… Is it my fault?” Heather asked, all of her bravado seeming to melt away. Once again, there was that weakness there, showing through to just her, so that only she could see this side of her.

“No! No, it's… It's not you. I was just… I was over-thinking things. I'm sorry. It's not you Heather, and it's not Heather or Heather either. It's my dumb brain being dumb,” she grumbled, and Heather relaxed, leaning forward to press a kiss to her nose. She closed her eyes and leaned into her hands, enjoying the simple touch for what it was. It was enough to make her brain calm, for the moment being, because it was a wonderful feeling. She enjoyed knowing that Heather was there with her, that Heather was willing to comfort her too, and wasn't just using her the way she had said Heather Chandler had been at the beginning of everything.

“Your brain isn't dumb, 'ronica. You're very smart. Thoughts like that just happen sometimes and it has nothing to do with your brain being dumb,” Heather sighed, and she felt her lips against her own for a brief moment, and then they were gone. “Just know that you aren't like those boys that like to push me and Heather and Heather around for sex, okay? You're so much better than them, because you care about us and will stop if we ask you to, right?”

“Right,” she mumbled, and again, Heather kissed her. This time though, she didn't pull away, and allowed Veronica to lean against the divider and lean closer to the feeling of her lips. She took the time to breathe in the intoxicating smell of mint, of the way Heather's lip felt against her own, of the way Heather held her chin and allowed her to relax. It was perfect, a wonderful moment, and nothing could ruin it.


	28. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heather, Heather, Heather, and Veronica have a serious talk before their date, and everything seems to go better from there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ?????i didnt actually write much on the date itself???? but i hope you enjoy it anyways??? bc its still super fluffy????

It wasn't until her head jerked forward and nearly slammed into the seat in front of her, that she realised she had fallen asleep. The only things stopping her from hitting her head were the seatbelt, and Heather Duke's arm thrown across her chest, keeping her from going too far forward. The shock of it all took a moment to fade completely, and even once it did, she found the fog of sleep still hanging over her mind, just slightly, and took the moment to glance at Heather Duke, brows furrowed as she tried to figure out what the hell just happened.

From what she could remember, she had been cuddling with Heather Duke in the back of Heather Chandler's Porsche, on the way to their date. Maybe she had zoned out? It would have been after she had talked to Heather about her jealousy and they had kissed until they were gasping for breath and Heather McNamara had cooed that Heather would be pissed if they left a mess in her back seat. That was what she assumed, anyways, since leaning against her afterwards, as the road passed outside, was the last thing she remembered. She had felt Heather's arm around her side, cuddling her close across the divider between their seats, and had stared out the window, enjoying the warmth and closeness of Heather so close to her own.

“Heather! Jesus fucking Christ, you could have snapped her neck! What the hell is wrong with you? What were you even thinking?” Heather Duke cried, while Heather Chandler cackled from the front seat. Heather McNamara turned to look at them both, worry shining in her eyes, and that was when it clicked. She had fallen asleep in the car again, and Heather had slammed on the breaks. Fuck. Heather could be such an asshole sometimes. After the thought crossed her mind, she realised that it could have applied to all of them, really, without any of the context. In the current context, she knew she was talking about Heather Chandler though, though she wasn't sure the others would understand if she actually said it out loud.

“Oh, chill out, Heather! She had her seatbelt on! It wasn't like she was going to hit her head on the seat or anything,” Heather Chandler hummed, turning off the car. She turned towards the backseat and grinned, though it wasn't a good grin. It reminded her of the predatory grin that Heather often wore, when she had said something hateful and full of spite and expected others to laugh and bend to her will. It made her stomach knot, but she tried to not let her grin get to her. “Besides, Veronica thinks it's funny too. Right, Roni?”

“Not really, Heather,” she mumbled, shifting to rub the back of her neck. She didn't dare meet Heather's eye, staring at the floorboard instead, and could practically feel Heather scowling as she glared from the front seat. She knew she was pissed, and didn't want to see it plainly written on her face.

The thought made her chest squeeze, tightening and constricting as if a rope had been wrapped around her ribs and was being pulled tighter and tighter. She was worried that maybe she had said the wrong thing, that maybe the Heathers were going to break up with her because of it, that maybe Heather now hated her because she didn't agree with her. It felt like she was slowly starting to collapse in on herself, like the world was crashing n on her shoulders, and it was getting harder and harder to breathe. She drew in a shaky breath, trying to force herself to breathe, just for a moment, and felt a comforting hand start to rub circles along her back. She looked up to meet Heather Duke’s eyes, and saw something glimmering there, something that made the tightness in her chest loosen just a little. Was it… Worry?

Was Heather Duke worried about her? Could she tell that her chest was squeezing tighter the more she thought about what she had just said? Could she tell that the more she worried about it, about what _Heather_ had done wrong and not herself, she was worried that they'd break up with her? Sure, she knew somewhere, deep down, that it wasn't likely the three of them were going to break up with her just because she didn't agree that the terrible joke Heather Chandler had just played on her had been funny, and hell, Heather Duke seemed pissed about it too, but that didn't stop her chest from squeezing.

The balloon was inflating, pressing against her lungs, and she found it harder to drag in the next gulp of air with every pressing second. Even with the comfort of Heather's hand on her back, her head was starting to ache, and she wondered if, once again, she was going to have a panic attack in Heather's Porsche. She surely didn't want to, no, but it seemed that the car was a constant source of panic for her.

“Well, Heather, you thought it was funny, right?” Heather Chandler asked, almost sounding frantic, and Veronica did her best to not look at her, even though her squeaky tone had distracted her from her roaring thoughts for the moment being. She could tell she was upset, could tell Heather had realised that she had done something wrong, and didn't want to give her what she needed by looking up at her right then. She knew it would only make things worse. She tried to focus on Heather Duke, on the comforting feeling of her hand, on how she seemed to know what was going on right then, on how just the gentle touch on her back was solid and keeping her grounded. She leaned against her over the divider and tried not to mind how it was digging into her side, because it was easier than her squeezing chest.

“No, I uh… I agree with Heather... Veronica could have really got hurt if her seatbelt wasn't on right... You really have to be nicer to her if you want her to stay with us, Heather... She isn't just a toy to play with. I'm sorry, please don't hate me, but that really wasn’t okay of you to do,” Heather McNamara mumbled, and she was grateful for her then, because she wasn't quite sure she could have tried to explain to Heather Chandler why what she had done bugged her so much. She wasn't just a pawn to use and abuse how Heather wanted, especially not if they were supposed to be girlfriends now. She had to see her on equal grounds, had to treat her like an actual human being. It was weird to think that, a week ago, the other two Heathers might have laughed along, that Heather Duke wouldn't have stopped her from slamming her head on the seat in front of her, that they would have all revelled in her pain if she had actually hit her head.

Things were different now though. They actually cared about her. Heather Duke was rubbing her back and Heather McNamara was trying her best to tell Heather Chandler why what she had done was wrong. Sure, Heather Chandler seemed to be having trouble switching from queen bitch mode to girlfriend mode around her, but they cared about her. Maybe that was just because Heather Chandler wasn't quite used to Veronica being her girlfriend yet though? It was likely, right? That Heather was so used to not opening up to new people? She tried to accept this as what was going on, even as Heather Chandler scoffed and unbuckled her seatbelt, before she climbed out of the car.

“Whatever. I'm sorry. Now can we just go on in already? I want to show Veronica exactly what we have planned, some time before tonight ends,” Heather Chandler hissed, and Heather Duke gave her an apologetic smile, even as she started climbing out of the car. Instantly, she missed the contact and the relief it had given her, but decided not to focus on that, unbuckling her own seat and following her girlfriends out of the car. They had plans for the night, even if the Heathers didn't want to quite tell her what they were yet, so she couldn't spend all night cuddling with Heather Duke in the back of Heather Chandler's car. Even if she wanted to. Just a little.

By the time she had completely climbed out and stood up beside Heather Duke, Heather McNamara had come around the side of the car, and stood beside the other two Heathers. Perks of being in passengers seat, she supposed. Veronica watched as Heather Duke and Heather McNamara exchanged a glance once she was fully standing on her own two feet again and trying desperately to not look like she was struggling to breathe, before one of each of their arms wrapped around her waist, and she was squeezed between them. The contact was instantly grounding and she relaxed into it, her chest loosening enough that she could draw in a deep breath that made everything seem a little clear. Heather Chandler, however, simply scowled at the contact, her arms crossed over her chest as she glared at them all. “What the fuck are you three doing?”

“Veronica looks like she's about to have a panic attack, Heather, and we're just trying to make sure she doesn't. Maybe you could actually show you care about her right now instead of being a huge bitch for once? No one is watching right now, I fucking promise,” Heather Duke hissed, and she could see Heather Chandler working through what she had said. It took a moment more before her shoulders slumped and she let out a sigh that instantly seemed to shrink her down, made her smaller than she actually was, made her seem almost down to everyone else's level. Moments before, she had been a goddess among men, a queen ready to squash someone under her heel, but just then, she was just a popular teenage girl out on a date. She was small and curled inwards, hugging herself tight, and staring at the pavement, like it would actually have the answers to what she needed.

“Fucking… I'm… I'm sorry. I'm trying, I swear. I'm not… I'm not used to opening up to new people like this, okay? Look, I'll try to do better during dinner, and if by the end of the night I'm still being a dick, then… Then...”

Heather Chandler had trailed off lamely, staring at the ground, and Veronica couldn't believe her eyes. She couldn't believe that she was seeing the queen of highschool _floundering_ at something, and that she seemed so small. She didn't even know Heather Chandler, the almighty, could _be_ small, of all things.

She was solid Teflon. She was the queen of highschool. She was a mythic bitch. And she was floundering about what she had done wrong. She was struggling about talking to her girlfriends, because they had essentially told her that she had done something wrong, and she wasn't quite sure how to deal with it. She was… _human._

It hit her then that, for all she still thought the Heathers were, they were still humans, still just seventeen, still just teenagers, just like herself. They were young, and were going to make mistakes. And now was a perfect moment to show that, yes, even the goddess in red, could still make mistakes, and was still just as human as she was. She would own up to her mistakes, even if it was out of the public eye, and just to her girlfriends.

“We'll talk about it more after dinner if you are, Heather,” Heather McNamara soothed, as if that would make things a little better between them all, and Heather Chandler nodded, slow and careful. Knowing that her chest was no longer tight, or at least not tight enough that she was worried she was hanging over the edge of a cliff she wasn't sure she could climb back up, she felt comfortable enough to step away from Heather Duke and Heather McNamara and over to Heather Chandler. As she wrapped her arms around Heather Chandler, she heard Heather McNamara whimper, before she felt her arms around her waist. It took only a moment more before Heather Duke joined in as well, and together, they stood, holding each other tight.

After a few moments more, they finally retreated inside the building, ready to enjoy dinner for their night together. Though Veronica did stumble a bit through proper etiquette, not having quite been ready to eat at the fanciest restaurant in town, the Heathers didn't seem to mind too much. They cut up with her, just a little, despite themselves and their reputation, and made cutesy remarks that made her heart soar all through dinner, with almost every little thing they did making her want to do nothing more than lean across the table and kiss them until their cheeks were those adorable shade of pink she loved to see on them. They even made a few sexual cracks through dinner as well, though it was only when no one else had been around to hear it.

Once, after the waiter had left and they were about halfway through the main course, Heather Chandler had whispered in her ear that she thought Veronica tasted better than the dish she had ordered, and she was tempted to go under the table and eat her instead. That alone had left her flustered enough that she couldn't do more than blush and stare at her own food, while the Heathers had giggled and cooed over her. Through the entire thing, there were no more rude comments from Heather Chandler that made Veronica feel small and unwanted, and she could tell, truly and honestly, that she was trying her best.

By the end of dinner, for which Heather McNamara insisted on paying, the four of them once again piled into Heather Chandler's Porsche. No complaints could be heard from Heather Duke as she crawled into the back, a little tipsy from the wine Heather Chandler had bribed a waiter into giving them, and instead of sitting in her own seat, had plopped into Veronica's lap and slurred that she was adorable against her neck. Not that she had minded, buckling the two of them together, and holding Heather close. It wasn't like anyone would see them through Heather's darkened windows anyways. Heather McNamara had giggled at how adorable they were, her own words just a little slurred, and Heather Chandler didn't say a word, just smirked into the rear-view mirror as she started the car up and pulled out of the parking lot.

Veronica couldn't even say that she could blame Heather's change of heart on the alcohol, since she had fought Heather over drinking and driving while she was in the car and had drained her glass every time she tried to drink any, and knew then that she had made her way into her heart. Even with her own head tilting, a little fuzzy around the edges and everything swimming just a little, she knew that things had changed, if just a little. If only for in private. Things had changed, and that was what mattered.


	29. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Veronica goes to school early after embarrassing herself with the Heathers the night before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ???? i know this is late???? and that it sucks???? but i really just Did Not want to write??? plus we had a tornado come through and my computer decided to update on my randomly... uh. sorry. done with the excuses, enjoy the chapter.

It was the next morning that Veronica found herself only _slightly_ stumbling into school. Really, stumbling wasn't the right word, and it wasn't quite limping either. It was somewhere in the middle of the two, a mixture of not quite limping, but not quite stumbling, leaving her gate almost awkward, a bit clumsy. Well, a bit more clumsy than she normally was, anyways. As she walked with her new awkward gate, she tried not to focus on the slight bit of burn that had settled between her legs. Not really a burn, not as if she had actually burned herself of course, but more of a dull stinging ache that left her regretting the night before.

Well, no, that was a lie. She didn't regret the night before, not for a moment. It had all been enjoyable, and she had loved every moment of what the Heathers had called “girls' night” when they had plastered their pictures all over social media. Alone, they had called it a date, but she chose not to think about that right then, knowing it had nothing to do with her, and everything to do with their reputation. She had loved their date and wouldn't have taken it back for anything in the world. What she really regretted from the night before had been her decision to actually drink when she had gone out when them on their date, even if it had only been so Heather Chandler wouldn't risk driving while intoxicated, and what she had ended up doing because she had decided drinking was a good idea.

Despite how little she had drank, she had been drunk enough to make bad decisions, a lightweight as she was. She had never drank before, and it didn't take anything to get her tipsy, almost drunk. In the end, she had been drunk enough to want to have sex, to decide that she wanted to have sex with Heather Duke of the three, and to not bother listening to the Heathers when they insisted she take it slow. She had been drunk enough to ignore their pleading that it would be better for her in the end, to beg Heater Duke to have sex with her until she had finally relented if somewhat uneasily, and had been drunk enough to climb in her lap without a second thought. She had sunk down on her without any thought as to what she was doing, and almost instantly, a sharp pain ripped through her body as something inside her tore, before she scrambled off, barely letting out a whimper from the pain, but it was too late. The damage had been done. And sure, the Heathers had cooed over her through her pain, had assured her that it could all wait until she wasn't hurting any more to try again, and had helped her clean up, but it didn't erase what she had done from their memories.

The Heathers seemed to know she regretted what she had done, and Heather Chandler had been nice enough to take her home when she had asked. It wasn't the ideal end to their date, with her awkwardly thanking the Heather for the night out while Heather McNamara and Heather Duke had wished her a goodnight from the backseat and Heather Chandler had snuck a quick peck on her cheek as she climbed out of the Porsche. She had tore something inside herself that made walking ache and had bled more than she had thought she would have, and it didn't stop her from hating her own stupidity. She knew the Heathers were liable to never let her live it down, and couldn't even face them the next morning, no matter how much she tried to psyche herself up for it.

So instead of trying to face the,, she had told them through the groupchat that she'd be catching a ride to school with her mom, despite their whining and begging for her to reconsider and ride with them, and had left early with her mother. If her mother had noticed her awkward walking, she didn't say anything, and Veronica was grateful. She wasn't actually sure how she would have explained the situation to her mother had she asked, and had settled for telling her she had pulled something, just as she realised her mother wasn't liable to ask for fear of her answer, and just as her mother pulled into the school parking lot. She had kissed her goodbye after that, a silent 'thank you' being passed unsaid, before she had made her way inside, despite the bit of pain she felt.

Knowing that the Heathers wouldn't be to school for at least twenty minutes, if they showed up at all, she went straight to her locker. It wasn't often that she got the chance to actually get her books from her locker before the bell for class rang, and she revelled in knowing she would have the chance to do so today, and possibly even eat breakfast, if she had time. Hell, maybe Martha was in the cafeteria and they could sit together like old times…

Just as the thought crossed her mind, she looked across the hall, and her heart stopped. Before her, just beside her own locker, stood none other than her best friend, Martha Dunnstock. That wasn't quite what made her heart stop though. No, that honour was given to the boy she was talking to. He was tall, wore a black trenchcoat that didn't seem appropriate for the weather, was almost the exact opposite of her best friend, and the same boy she had been talking to all weekend. The same boy she had a crush on. The same boy she had a picture of saved on her phone.

Jason Dean.

Jason Dean was standing next to her locker, and talking to her best friend since diapers.

Before really thinking about what she was doing, and managing to ignore the burning embarrassment of her mistake, she rushed over to the two. Right then, she wasn't thinking about the Heathers, or their reputation, or the mistake she had made the night before. She wasn't thinking about how the Heathers would react to know she was talking to Martha in public, or if they'd care that she had a crush on Jason Dean. She was thinking about the girl in the bright pink and fuzzy sweater, talking to what seemed like her polar opposite, a tall boy in a black trenchcoat that swallowed him whole.

And only when she got closer did she realise they weren't just talking. No, they were honest-to-god _giggling_. That alone made her stop, dead in her tracks, because she didn't understand it. While Jason Dean did seem like a nice guy, she honestly didn't think that he would get along with _Martha_ , of all people. She figured that Martha would be too sweet for him, but hell, she wasn't going to scorn Martha making new friends. She was glad for her. A little jealous, sure, but she was glad. Martha deserved friends, deserved to be loved, deserved to be treasured, and as she looked her over and saw that, yes, Martha was happy without her, she was tempted then to turn and walk away.

Martha would make new friends. Martha could take care of herself. Martha didn't need her. If she came back now, she'd just be dragging her down. Martha would be fine without her. The thoughts slowly but surely got louder, reminding her that even her best friend didn't need her, until she felt tears pricking her eyes and blood dragging across her tongue. Until then, she hadn't even realised that she had been biting her lip, but there was no shock to be found. Not with the realisation that Martha didn't need her pressing in the back of her mind. She slowly took a step back, going unnoticed by the two, and felt a wave of panic rushing over her.

She could feel a thousand thoughts pressing against the back of her mind at once, all because she had abandoned her best friend. She had left Martha for the Heathers. Of course Martha wouldn't want her back. Of course Martha would make new friends. Of course. She was an outgoing girl, sweet and adorable, so of course people would be drawn to her. Maybe it was her fault Martha didn't have any friends, besides her and their old friend Betty Finn. Everyone obviously avoided Martha because she was around. She was a dark cloud, and Martha was bright sunshine. She would be better off without her around.

Martha didn't need her. Martha would make new friends. Martha would be fine without her. Martha didn't need her. Martha would make new friends. Martha would be fine without her. The same three thoughts repeated themselves, a broken mantra, and everything suddenly felt tight. Her chest was squeezing, tight and tugging, and she was sure that she was on the verge of a panic attack again, for the countless time after joining the Heathers, and she would have it in the school hallway, because she was too froze, she couldn't move, couldn't even run to the bathroom--

“Veronica!” Martha's voice broke her from the wave of terrifying thoughts rushing over her, and in an instant, she felt warm arms wrapping around her waist and pulling her close. It drew a gasp out of her, and just like that, she could breathe again. Without even thinking about what she was doing, her arms wrapped around Martha and she hugged her close, focusing on the familiar feeling of Martha's arms around her waist, of Martha being there with her. Of Martha. “I'm so glad to see you! You've got to meet my friend! His name is um… Jason! Jason Dean, yeah! He's the guy I told you I met online when we were younger? Uh, you know… Motherless sack of… Of...”

“It's okay, Martha. You don't have to say it. We've met, anyways. She dropped her backpack and I returned it to her, though I didn't know this was the same Veronica Sawyer you've told me all about. I guess I should have figured. How many Veronica Sawyers can there be in the world?” J.D. cooed, and Veronica didn't dare look at him, so focused on Martha. She buried her face into the top of her head, taking in the familiar smell of Martha's favourite shampoo, and used it to ground herself. She was not going to have a panic attack right now. She was going to join Martha's hug, and be a normal person for once. She was not going to have a panic attack in the school hallway because Martha made a new friend, not after she had made three new ones and then started dating them. No way. She was going to focus on Martha, because Martha would have done the same for her. She had done the same thing for her, even.

“Oh! Veronica is the only Veronica Sawyer in Sherwood, so it's definitely her! She's normally not this cuddly though. She hates my hugs and always grumbles about me taking too long...”

“I love your hugs,” she interrupted, and instantly hated herself for it. Still, she hugged Martha closer, squeezed her that much tighter until she squeaked, and was relieved when she hugged back just as hard. She leaned into her touch, missing everything about Martha from their time apart, and was pleasantly surprised when Martha giggled. It was a good giggle, one that meant Martha didn't blame her, and it made everything on her shoulders loosen, just a little. “And yeah, I've met J.D. before… We texted a lot over the weekend after I thanked him for putting my backpack up. He's a pretty nice guy, Martha.”

“I'm glad you think so, Veronica. And I love your hugs too. Not just that though, I really care for you in general! I really missed you, ya know? I'm glad I'm getting to see you again. But I understand! You're with the Heathers now! You've got a busy schedule, and that's okay. Take your time adjusting, I'll still be here for you no matter what!” Hearing Martha say that was enough to almost bring tears to her eyes, because really, she didn't deserve Martha. She was too nice to her. She should have kicked her to the curb, should have ditched her. If anything, she should have be grovelling at her feet, begging her to accept her apology, before Martha turned her away and told her to get lost. Instead, she was lucky enough to be wrapped up in her arms, holding her close, and uncaring who saw her hugging Martha Dunnstock right then.

“Oh, Martha… You have no idea how right you are. I promise I'm going to make time in my schedule for you from now on though, okay? You should have been my priority from the beginning, and I'm sorry you weren't,” she sighed as she pulled away from her hair, just enough to look Martha in the eyes. For a moment, she saw a sadness there, lurking and tugging at her heart strings, before it was replaced with happiness. Whether it was fake or not, she wasn't sure, and right then, she wasn't quite sure she could have pried the answer out of her if she wanted to. It wasn't really the time or place to do so, and it would have to be something done later. After school, if the Heathers didn't have any plans she wasn't aware of, before her date with Heather Duke that night.

“It's okay, Veronica. I'm just glad you're back now,” Martha sighed, and Veronica could only smile at her, enjoying the twinkle in her eyes and the simpleness that was Martha and her happiness. It was familiar, a constant in her life, and more than anything, she was glad she wasn't going to be losing her. She wasn't quite sure she could handle that, if she was honest with herself, but tried not to think about it too much right then. Before her thoughts could go on much more, before she could dare suggest they hang out after school, a sharp voice interrupted her thoughts, and had her back straightened in seconds.

“Veronica! What in the hell are you doing! Get over here and stop hugging the local dumptruck!” Twin giggles followed, in perfect sync, and Veronica turned to face her girlfriends. They stood by their lockers, arms crossed and ever looking the intimidating queens of highschool they were known as. She had to fight down the urge to snap at Heather Chandler for yelling at her, and instead let go of Martha, giving her an apologetic look that Martha reciprocated with an understanding one, before she scurried over to Heather Chandler, and winced under her sharp gaze.

“Sorry Heather,” she mumbled as she shrunk down under her gaze and made herself as small as possible, and Heather Chandler's nose wrinkled up as she gave her a weird look. It took her a second to realise exactly what it was that she had said that had caused it, before it hit her. She was acting like she had the night before, when she had been on the verge of a panic attack and Heather was yelling at her. She knew Heather was trying not to show it bothered her then, and desperately wanted to tell her that she was okay, that she understood it was all an act right then, that she wasn't going to have a panic attack, but the look was gone as quick as it had appeared.

“Whatever. Let's just fucking get out of here and go to the bathroom to freshen up. I don't want to have any flies buzzing around us because you decided to hug actual garbage,” Heather Chandler hissed, all spitting acid and barbs, and just like that, any hint of her girlfriend was gone. Instead was the demon queen of highschool, the mythic bitch, the leader of their pack. She let her lead her through the halls, alongside Heather McNamara and Heather Duke.


	30. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heather, Heather, Heather, and Veronica talk in the bathroom.

The bathroom door slammed shut behind them, and, before Heather McNamara was fully done commanding a group of freshmen girls out of the bathroom, her back hit the wall, hard enough to knock the breath out of her. She found herself gasping, just a little, at the pain of it all and as a poor attempt to draw in air as the slightest bit of blood dribbled down her lip. She had almost forgotten she had bit her lip until it bled again, but the feeling of it leaking across her skin was enough to remind her. Dimly, she realised she would have to do something about that later, but right then, she couldn’t do anything if she wanted to. She couldn’t even bring herself to look anywhere but the murky pits of grey staring her down, fire dancing behind Heather Chandler’s eyes.

“What the fuck is wrong with you, Veronica!” Heather Chandler snapped, baring her teeth, and Veronica drew herself back against the wall, trying to make herself as small as possible. Seeing Heather Chandler seethe, along with Heather McNamara barking at them to leave, had the younger girls running from the bathroom. As an afterthought, she realised she had seen them at the last cheer practice she had gone to with the Heathers, though at the time she had mainly been focused with watching Heather McNamara bounce around in her short skirt. The realisation alone would have been enough to make her blush, had the bathroom door not slammed shut at that moment and had Heather Chandler not slammed her hands on either side of her head. “We told you not to hang out with Dumptruck in public! And what do you do? You ditch us this morning, after ruining my sheets last night might I add, and fucking hug her! For everyone to see! What the fuck is wrong with you? Are you fucking retarded? Are you _trying_ to ruin our reputation?”

She sunk lower under Heather Chandler’s gaze, her throat suddenly dry, and shook her head. That hadn’t been what she had been trying to do, and she hadn’t ditched them because she didn’t want to see them. The slight burn still between her legs reminded her of the exact reason, being more embarrassment than anything, but with the way that Heather was glaring at her, she couldn’t bring herself to admit that. Hell, she could barely keep herself from crying at that moment, once again feeling like a nobody who was in the wrong place at the wrong time. However, as she finally tore her eyes away from Heather Chandler and glanced at the other two Heathers, she saw the barely concealed worry in Heather McNamara’s eyes, and it hit her that she wasn’t a nobody anymore. She was a Heather, if she could really call herself that without sharing their name, and they were her girlfriends. And they had to talk this out.

“Don’t… don’t push me like that, Heather. Please. It hurt my back and… And it’s not healthy for a relationship to be physical like that,” she managed, slowly straightening up, and Heather Chandler drew back as if she had been bit. There was a flicker of vulnerability in her eyes, for just a moment before it was gone, and they were once again steely and cold. “I’m sorry though. I didn’t mean to ditch you guys this morning, but I was really embarrassed about last night. I was scared you guys would mock me for making such a stupid mistake. And the only reason I was even hugging Martha was… Was because I felt like she didn’t need me anymore, and that I had lost my best friend and… It was getting really hard to breathe. Her hugging me helped. I'm sorry.”

For a moment, Heather Chandler almost looked scared, with a flash of realisation bring it forth. Veronica had to wonder if anyone had ever stood up to her like that before. She had never seen the other Heathers say anything to her when she had pushed them around, or when she had said something mean that made them both cringe and turn away, so it didn't seem that likely, but there was still the chance it was something she hadn't been around to see. Right? It wasn't like the other two would let her just abuse them without saying anything, would they?

“I'm… I… Fuck… I'm sorry, okay? I didn't mean to be such a shit head, and I promise I won't… I don't want to be… God, why is this so hard? Wait… Are you fucking bleeding? What the hell, Veronica!” Before she had time to completely register what was going on, Heather Chandler had grabbed her chin, tilting it upwards. She let out a strangled noise of surprise, and Heather was quick to push her thumb into her mouth then, tracing over the open wound on her bottom lip. The slight sting of salt against the wound was painful, just a little, but the look on Heather Chandler's face was much more so. There was almost sadness in her eyes, almost, and her brows were furrowed in that way that meant she was deep in thought. Slowly, she pulled her thumb away, and regarded the blood on it carefully, before their eyes met, and Veronica wanted once again to shrink back away from her. “You are. What the fuck, Veronica? I sure as hell know Martha didn't do this to you. Was it that new emo kid? The one who wears a trenchcoat even though it's only fucking September?”

“I… I did it myself,” she mumbled, closing her eyes so she didn't have to see the look on their faces. She hated to admit it, but she couldn't let them blame anyone else. Heather Chandler's hand retreated, and she tried to ignore the little noises of hurt and surprise the Heathers were making, because she wasn't quite sure she could face it right then. She swallowed around the lump in her throat, forcing down a good portion of her swirling emotions, and knew she had to at least give them some kind of explanation. “It wasn't on purpose. I was… I was freaking out about Martha leaving me, and I guess I bit my lip. I didn't even realise it until I started bleeding, and it was already too late by then.”

“Veronica, do you… Do you do this to yourself often?” Heather McNamara asked, her voice soft and almost sounding pained, and she could only shrug. She didn't dare open her eyes, scared that she'd look at them and that she'd see worry and tears in their eyes, and she didn't want to see that. She couldn't stand the thought of seeing the Heathers worried about her because she bit her lip hard enough to bleed. It was something as common to her as panic attacks, if she was honest with herself, and she had grown quite used to the little white whelps left on the inside of her cheek from where she had gnawed at the skin. The slight taste of blood was something she was used to, and it pained her to think she needed to admit it.

“I don't know. Sometimes. Mostly when I feel like I'm gonna have a panic attack, or when I'm over thinking things but I can't stop. I kinda, like.. I kinda gnaw at it, ya know? Do you go all quiet like you did the other night often? And do you guys really let Heather push you around and yell at you without thinking about how abusive that is?” Once the words left her mouth, she instantly regretted them, but slowly cracked her eyes open to look at the three instead. Heather Chandler's mask was gone, instead replaced with obvious worry and caution as she glanced between the other two, while Heather Duke almost looked ready to go sprinting out of the bathroom, and Heather McNamara hesitated, something there in her eyes that Veronica couldn't quite read.

“I don't… The quiet thing… I couldn't help it, okay? I'm sorry. I was scared. I was scared they were going to kick me out and tell my parents, or that they'd yell at us, or that… That you'd hate me for outing you, even though it wasn't on purpose. And all the new stuff… The smell of the food and your mom's perfume and the lights were too bright and… And I just… I couldn't talk. I wanted to! I wanted to tell you that I was okay, and that it'd go away in a little bit, but I just… It was like my voice got all lost and murky and all I could think to do was squeeze your hand or nod and… And...” Heather McNamara trailed off, her hands tugging at her hair. She spared a quick glance at Heather Chandler, something akin to fear in her eyes, before she squeezed her eyes shut. She looked almost to be in pain, as if just talking about what had happened hurt her, and Veronica regretted bringing it up.

“Heather… You're okay. It's okay. We still love you. We aren't going to abandon you. We're here for you.” Heather Chandler wrapped Heather McNamara up in her arms, letting her head rest against her chest, and slowly ran her fingers through her hair. She started to draw back, pressing farther against the wall and hating herself for even mentioning what happened, when Heather Duke stepped forward and put a hand on her shoulder. She slowly wiped the blood off her bottom lip, and pressed a small kiss there, as if that would ease the blood flow, before she sighed.

“Sometimes, when things are too much, Heather goes quiet. It's not that she doesn't want to talk, but more that she can't. We try not to force her, because it's not going to be any better if we do. It's just best to be by her side and support her. I know it's hard to know that you can't do anything more for her, and it's hard to just have to sit by while she can't even talk, but it's just how things can be sometimes,” Heather Duke assured, and she nodded slowly, leaning into her touch. The simple feeling of her hand on her shoulder was enough to be grounding, reassuring, and hearing her speak so calmly made things a little easier to process. However, there was still the burning question in the back of her mind, knowing that they hadn't answered her about Heather Chandler. Did the other Heathers really let her abuse them?

“I'll do my best to support Heather when she goes quiet,” she said, glancing over to Heather Chandler and Heather McNamara. Heather Chandler appeared to be trying to talk her down from what Veronica assumed was a panic attack, holding her wrists away from her hair and cooing to her softly. It didn't distract from the pressing matter in the back of her head, and she glanced to Heather Duke, her brows furrowed. “But… Can you answer me? Please? Because Heather didn't, and Heather seemed offended that I even said anything the first time. Do you guys really let Heather abuse you like that? Push you around and hurt you, physically and mentally? I don't think that… I don't think that I can stay as a part of this relationship if that's how things are going to be. I don't… I like you guys a lot, but I don't want to be in an abusive relationship.”

Heather Duke sighed, and for a moment, Veronica was worried she was going to ignore her too. She looked uncomfortable at the question, as if she had been asked why she had failed a test in a subject she was proficient in, and she had to wonder if this was crossing a line. Last night had been going so good after she had talked to Heather Chandler about her yelling at her, and she hadn't even mocked her about what she had done, even though she had ample opportunity to the entire ride home, and had even made sure she had been okay afterwards, but it almost felt as if all of her progress had been washed away since last night, as if hugging Martha had walled back up the crack she had made in Heather Chandler's façade. Finally though, Heather Duke looked up to her, something in her eyes that almost seemed like reluctance.

“If Heather pushes us around or yells at us in public, then we have to take it. We can tell her later that it hurt us, or that we don't want her to do that any more, but we have to play the part, Veronica. Heather doesn't do any of that when it's just us… Normally. Lately, she's been having trouble switching from public mode to girlfriend mode, but I promise she's really trying… And if… If her yelling at us and pushing us in public makes you uncomfortable, or makes you think things aren't okay, then we can work on that. We'll do whatever we can to change it.” She slowly nodded along as she listened to Heather Duke, then sighed and slumped against her. They hadn't even gotten to their first class yet, and already today had drained her of what little energy she had started off with.

“I don't know if I believe that, but okay. If things aren't better by the end of the trial, and if Heather is still abusing you guys, even to keep looks up, then I don't want to be a part of that. I care about you guys and don't want you hurt,” she mumbled, and wrapped her arms around Heather Duke's waist. She buried her face into her neck, not wanting to see the look on her face when what she had said clicked, and tried to focus on swallowing the blood that was starting to pool in her mouth. As what she had said finally clicked, Heather Duke stiffened slightly, her arms hesitating, before wrapping around her loosely in return.

“Okay, okay. I'll tell her. We can tell her. I promise we can fix this, and we can make things better before the next two weeks are up. Is there anything else we need to talk about?” Heather Duke asked, and Veronica had to pause. There was something else they needed to talk about. Or rather, someone. They needed to talk about Jason Dean, about her crush on him, about her upcoming date with him, but all the same, the thought of trying to tell Heather that she had a crush on a boy, while they had only started dating a few days prior, made her a little uneasy.

What if they rejected her because of it? What if they thought she didn't like them any more because of it? She did like them, a lot if she was honest with herself, and didn't want to lose them, not just yet. Not if she could help it, and especially not over a boy she had just met. Even if he was pretty charismatic, even if he was cute, she wasn't entirely sure that he was worth losing her girlfriends over. Hell, she honestly barely knew him still. He could secretly be an axe murderer who had moved to Sherwood to escape the cops, for all she knew. He wasn't worth telling Heather about, she decided. Not because she was trying to hide him, but there wasn't quite anything to hide quite yet, and she wasn't even sure that there would be anything. And if there was, she wanted her girlfriends to know she cared about them too, and that she wouldn't leave them for a boy. So it would wait until after their date, and if there was anything there, then she would talk to the Heathers about him.

“No… I don't think so. Thank you for talking with me about this, and promising to make things better, but I stick by what I said. If things don't get better, then I refuse to stay with you guys. Okay?” Heather Duke nodded against the top of her head, and slowly, she relaxed against her, enjoying the feeling of Heather Duke holding her. It wasn't quite the same comfort as Martha, sure, but it was a different type of comfort, one that allowed her to close her eyes and enjoy the closeness of her girlfriend, without really having to worry about what was to come. Right then, she wasn't actually too sure she could have focused too much on what was going on anyways, not even if she had really wanted to.

And when two pairs of arms wrapped around Heather Duke and herself, she felt at peace between all three of her girlfriends, knowing that they were going to at least try to make things better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> couple things!!! one, yall should totally go check out this awesome cover for trial run made by abimakesart on tumblr!!! its found here: http://abimakesart.tumblr.com/post/161344590580/a-tribute-to-one-of-my-fav-heathers-fanfics-trial and its??? soooo good????? i absolutely ADORE it!!!! two, for the next couple weeks, im not gonna keep to my updating schedule. not really taking a break, but updates are probably going to be a bit more spaced out, until i get used to a new job position im starting saturday!!! just a fair warning guys!!!!


	31. Chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Veronica and the Heathers talk in the groupchat during class.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uhh. kinda boring chapter tbh?? sorry??? but like, not everything has to be 100% plot related all the time, right? so i thought maybe yalld enjoy this meme off??? also this is a friendly reminder that this takes place in september 2016, and so, old memes. also duke and mac changed their names in the chat when veronica wasnt paying attention so:  
> dick muncher supreme - duke  
> baby bee - mac

Brushing Heather Chandler's hair off of her notebook, Veronica did her best to focus on writing down what she needed from the notes displayed on the whiteboard. After the Heathers had agreed to work on no longer being quite as physical with each other, and after the first bell had rung, the four of them had been sent off scurrying to class, and through the next few hours, everything had gone swimmingly. They had all acted like normal, sure, but there was none of the physical abuse that there had been before. Sure, they were still mean, still terrible to each other and those around them, but Heather Chandler no longer pushed them around in the halls, no longer slammed them into walls. It was going great, and Veronica couldn't have been happier.

Sitting in biology, she could tell the Heathers were growing restless. It was the class right before lunch, and they always fidgeted and squirmed through the entire class, barely paying attention. They would always ask for her notes afterwards, and she knew today would be no different, so she did her best to copy everything down that she would need, or that the Heathers might have trouble with later. It didn't really help her efforts that Heather Chandler had splayed out in the desk in front of her, her hair spread out across Veronica's open biology book and notebook. She was trying not to be annoyed with it, really, because it was how Heather Chandler was.

Besides, it wasn't like she was trying to draw her attention away from the notes right then. It seemed more like she was trying not to fall asleep, leaning back in her chair and picking at her nails, her own notebook abandoned with sall doodles lining the margins. She was at least doing better than Heather McNamara, who was slumped over, her chin in her hands, and staring blankly at the board. Every few seconds, her head would dip, before it would jerk upright, she would shake herself awake, before she was quickly back to nodding off.

Really, seeing the two of them doing their best not to fall asleep in class was almost adorable. She wasn't quite sure when they had actually gone to bed the night before, not since she had gone home after she had embarrassed herself, but with the way they were acting, she was almost certain it was late. Not that it came as a surprise to her. They never seemed to sleep, not really. They were always awake, at all hours of the night, spamming their groupchats with messages she never bothered to read all of unless it pertained to her. Which they rarely did.

Sometimes, it would seem as if they had forgotten she was there with them in the chats, talking idly amongst themselves, and she knew that probably had something to do with the three of them being so used to it just them. They had been best friends for so long, and dating for who knew how long now, so she wasn't all that surprised to know that they were used to no one else seeing what they said. It was kind of adorable, if she was honest, to see how human they could be with each other, without any one else around. Not even her. She had to wonder how the three of them acted when it was just them together, alone in their houses, without even her around.

Just as the thought crossed her mind, she felt her phone buzz in her bra, and doing her best to make sure that Ms. Peixes wasn't paying attention, she dug her phone out of her bra, sitting it in her lap so the teacher couldn't see. She didn't want to get caught with her phone out, not with the chance of getting in school suspension looming over her head. There was no telling what the message was though, so it was a good idea to read it. She carefully unlocked it, keeping an eye on the teacher, and noticed that it was a message from the groupchat. Specifically, from Heather Duke.

 

**#squad**

>4 participants

_Today_

**dick muncher supreme:**

So since this is the only class that I can do this without fear of instant retaliation, since Heather sits in front of Veronica now…

Dicks out for Harambe!

 

It took her a moment to completely register what the messages said, and it was only when Heather Chandler groaned in front of her. She hadn't even realised she had moved until then, but that wasn't what was on her mind. No, it was more that Heather Duke had just said that. She couldn't believe it. Of all the things she had expected the group chat to say, she hadn't quite expected it to be something regarding the dead gorilla meme. Before she could complain about it though, Heather Chandler sent a message.

  
**queen bee:**

s2g im gonna fckn punch u

 

Reading the message, she couldn't help but scowl. Heather Chandler had agreed not to do anything like that any more. She had promised her that she wouldn't. So what if she was joking. It was crossing a line, and that made her heart ache. She was enjoying things so far, and she didn't want to break up with them, not really. Hell, she wanted to ride out the trial run, and she wanted to stick around longer too. She wanted to be there with the three of them for as long as she could. But there was no way she was going to stick around with them being abusive. It wasn't healthy, and if she could get out of it before things got any worse, before she didn't have the will because she saw it as normal, then she was going to. She refused to let herself fall trap to an abusive relationship like that.

  
**squirter apparently:**

you do, and I’m breaking up with all three of you.

**baby bee:**

WHAT?!? WHAT DID I DO?!? D: D: D:

**squirter apparently:**

guilt by association.

**baby bee:**

:'(((((

 

The face Heather sent, accompanied by a weak whimper to her left, made her heart break. She refused to look at Heather McNamra, scared for what she would see, and instead focused on scribbling down the newest set of notes before the slide was changed. She didn't want to see tears in her eyes, because she couldn't face that right then. She didn't have the emotional strength to deal with it. Not really. Heather McNamara made her weak, made her heart ache to know she had hurt her with what she had said, but she couldn't bring it in herself to face her. She wasn't even sure what she would say to her, if she did try to apologise for hurting her right then. She did, however, once again focus on the groupchat as her phone alerted her to new messages.

 

**queen bee:**

heather shes kidn

I promis

right roni?

**squirter apparently:**

yeah, heather is right. I was just kidding, heather.

**baby bee:**

promise??? :((((

**squirter apparently:**

promise.

 

A small sigh of relief left her, and she could barely hear Heather McNamara sighing in relief in unison with her. That was a disaster averted, if the glare Heather Chandler shot her over her shoulder was any way to take it. She would have to thank her for that later. She knew how to take care of Heather McNamara, how to make things better, and it almost made her jealous, to know that Heather Chandler knew how to take care of their girlfirend better. Deep down, she know that she would get better at it too, eventually, but right then, it almost stung. She tried not to focus on it too much, glancing up at their teacher and making sure she wasn't paying attention, before once again focusing on the group chat.

  
**dick muncher supreme:**

Veronica, I didn’t know you hate memes.

**squirter apparently:**

that’s a lie, I love memes.

but only the dankest of memes.

and Harambe is not a dank meme in the slightest

 

Behind her, she heard Heather Duke gasp, and couldn't help but grin. That was a wonderful response. Better than she could have expected, honestly. It was audible enough that those around the would hear her, but have no clue what was going on, and that was honestly adorable, in it's own special way. Heather Duke was obviously attached to the meme, and hearing her gasp out loud was definitely something she hadn't been expecting, but she wouldn't have traded it for the world. It was saved in the back of her mind, along with other little moments like that one that made her heart swell because of how adorable the Heathers could be.

  
**dick muncher supreme:**

GAAAAAAAAAASP.

**squirter apparently:**

Heather you don’t have to do that, we all heard you gasp.

**dick muncher supreme:**

YOU TAKE THAT BACK! HARAMBE IS AN AMAZING MEME!

 

As much as she wanted to argue right then, she had to tuck her phone away, scribbling down the next few notes instead of responding. She knew Ms. Peixes was glaring at her, as if she knew it was her fault the Heathers were awake and on their phones, and only gave an apologetic smile in her direction, before she returned to her notes. The groupchat would have to wait for a few minutes, because unlike the Heathers, she did actually care about getting caught with her phone out.

She wondered, for a moment, how her parents would react if she did get caught. They'd be disappointed, that she was sure of. They'd probably even ask who she was messaging, and she couldn't lie and say it was Martha either. Martha was too sweet for that. Hell, her parents probably wouldn't have even asked. They would know it would be the Heathers fault. They would tell her that the Heathers were a bad influence on her. She scowled at the thought, because as much as she hated to admit it, it was a little true. Before being drawn into their group, she would have never gotten out her phone during class. They had changed her, sure, but she would argue against it being for the worse.

Without the three of them, she wouldn't have quite realised how much she actually liked girls in a different way that she previously thought. She wouldn't have known the terms for what they were. She wouldn't have known how much she relied on Martha, how much she enjoyed the Heathers touch, and how much she found the term bisexual starting to ring true. She would have never considered herself anything but straight without the Heathers, and wouldn't have cared enough to think otherwise. So she certainly wouldn't have thought the Heathers changed her for the worse. If anything, they had changed her for the better.

With a small smile on her face at the thought, she focused on the present again, and found that the biology teacher was no longer glaring at her and the Heathers. Instead, she was focused on answering a few questions from a student who didn't understand the genetics chart they were going over, and it was the perfect moment to check the groupchat. She carefully unlocked her phone, and was surprised to find that they hadn't spammed it like they usually did.

  
**queen bee:**

i cnt blv this

**baby bee:**

what the heck are they talking about?

**queen bee:**

memes

fckn memes

**baby bee:**

i like the spongebob ones! theyre cute!!

**queen bee:**

i h8 memes

all of thm

**squirter apparently:**

caveman spongebob is my favourite, I have to admit.

it is much danker than Harambe.

 

Behind her, Heather Duke let out a small noise of indignation, and Veronica couldn't hide the grin that came forth if she wanted to. She could almost understand why Heather Chandler seemed to like annoying her so much. Her frustration was endearing, especially with how vocal she could be about it in public, and Veronica had to wonder how many times Heather Chandler had annoyed Heather Duke through their groupchats before she had become part of their group, and she had missed it because she had been so focused on class. Really, she should have been focused on class then, and while she knew that in the back of her head, she was more worried about the group chat right then.

  
**dick muncher supreme:**

THAT’S A HORRID LIE!

**squirter apparently:**

no it’s the truth.

**queen bee:**

heather r gfs r dorks

**baby bee:**

agreed!!

**squirter apparently:**

I’m not a dork.

**queen bee:**

lies

**baby bee:**

i dunno ron-ron……..

**dick muncher supreme:**

Veronica, hun, we all know that a lie.

 

She frowned as she read over their messages, barely registering that she could hear them snickering. Sparing a quick glance around the classroom, just to make sure that Ms. Peixes's attention wasn't on her again, she focused back on the groupchat. Part of her wanted to reprimand them, but she couldn't find it in herself to be mad at them. She knew they were kidding, and she knew that they were telling the truth anyways. She was a dork. And she could play along with them.

  
**squirter apparently:**

okay first of all fuck you guys

**baby bee:**

during lunch, sure!!!

 

She tried to ignore how Heather McNamara's enthusiasm made her cheeks colour, knowing that she was probably serious about that. She always seemed up for sex whenever a move was made towards it, and she had even made a few moves about it herself. It was a little flustering, if she was honest, but she tried not to think about that too much right then, because she wanted to get her point across before she was caught with her phone out by their teacher, or before she lost her train of thought.

  
**squirter apparently:**

secondly maybe I am a dork

but at least I’m a dork with A GOOD TASTE IN MEMES

**dick muncher supreme:**

HARAMBE IS AN EXCELLENT MEME! YOU JUST HAVE TERRIBLE TASTE!

I’VE GOT PROOF!

 

Just like that, Heather Duke began spamming the groupchat with pictures. Veronica had to pause for a moment, as her screen filled up with pictures of the dead gorilla, or what was presumably him anyways. How many pictures did Heather Duke have saved of this meme? If what she was sending was any attempt to measure it, quite a few. She couldn't really speak, because she had quite a few herself, especially of her favourite memes, like the recent caveman Spongebob one, but she was surprised that Heather Duke had so many saved. She wouldn't have taken her for the type who enjoyed memes, really, but what did she know? However, she did know a good way to retaliate for the spam.

  
**squirter apparently:**

oh yeah? it’s on, bitch!

caveman spongebob for the win!!

**queen bee:**

omfg guys

 

After Heather Chandler's last message, she began to spam the groupchat with pictures of her own favourite memes, snickering despite herself. She made sure to find the best ones she had, and with the massive amounts she had saved to her phone, it wasn't that hard. She barely noticed that Heather Duke was still sending her own pictures, not with how fast the chat was moving as it tried to frantically load the new pictures she kept adding. In no time at all, the chat was just a constant loading screen for the pictures they had added, and she couldn't help but giggle at the sight, even as she added another picture.

Beside her, she heard Heather McNamara giggling, trying hard to hold it back, and it only fueled her to keep it up. She wasn't even sure which one she was giggling at, but right then, she couldn't care less. She was going to beat Heather Duke, damn it. She was going to prove her memes were danker, even if it made Heather Chandler groan with each new picture that was sent through. She had the dankest memes, and Heather Duke would just have to accept that from her.

“Heather! Heather! Veronica!” There was a pause as she jerked her head up to meet her teacher's eye, Ms. Peixes's hands on her hips, and Veronica could almost see the gears turning in her head as she counted out the names she had yelled. “And Heather! If the four of you are done staring at your laps and giggling… Heather, come up to the front and work out this problem, using the Punnett square on page one thirty-four of your textbook.”

An awkward silence fell over the class then, just as Heather Chandler glanced back towards the other three, and Veronica could only give a weak shrug. None of them were sure exactly which Heather she meant, and it didn't seem that she realised what she had done quite yet. In what Veronica could only describe as perfect synchronisation, Heather Chandler, Heather McNamara, and she presumed Heather Duke was well, all stood up and started towards the front. As Heather Duke walked by, she barely caught the raised middle finger directed at her, and hoped that the startled squawk their teacher gave covered up her snicker.


	32. Heather Chandler's Interlude 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The relationship between Heather Chandler and Heather McNamara is explored once again, though this time, through different eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ?????????uh??????? i meant to get this chapter out a few days ago but life is rough, blah blah... and i should be back to my 'every three days' thing after the 27th, bc im going away starting tomorrow and wont have internet until then, so. yay. and i know this chapter is an interlude and you guys probably wanted plot but i really thought this worked well here and uh. yeah. so. this chapter references past rape, past abortion, mild ptsd/rape recovery, and self harm, but none of it is described in detail, beside the rape recovery. thats?? really all i have to say i think, so enjoy chandler being a cute baby gay!!!

The first time it's said, Heather McNamara is almost seven, and she's seven and a half. The two of them are on a playdate at the local park, though she knows it's mostly just an excuse to dump the two of them off on her poor nanny and get them away from their parents. The moment they had gotten out of the car, Heather had dragged her off to the swings, giggling that giggle of hers that made her heart swell, and begged her to push her, while her nanny set up the picnic that they were supposed to have for lunch. She had agreed, if only because Heather had given her those puppy eyes and stuck out her bottom lip in a way that made her insides twist funny. So it's in the middle of her pushing Heather, listening to her giggle and watching her legs kick out she swings forward, that Heather says it.

“I love you, Heather!” Heather says, and then giggles, turning to look at her. She can't help but smile up at her, trying desperately not to think about how its the first time she's heard someone tell her that they love her in a long time. Instead of that, she focuses on the adorable smile Heather gives her back as she pushes her forward, and how her insides squirm and twist, because all of that is so much easier than how it makes her stomach feel funny, wondering if anyone else is ever going to love her as well.

“I love you too,” she hums, as she catches Heather as she swings back towards her, and Heather presses a kiss to her forehead, before she pushes her again. That again makes something in her feel weird, and she isn't quite sure what it is, but right then, she doesn't really care either, because it's a good weird. A happy weird. Not a weird like the nerds on the playground, but instead a weird that makes her heart happy and everything a good type of fuzzy around the edges.

 

* * *

 

 

The next time that's burned into her memory, they're eleven. Heather has spent all week alone, her parents gone on some business trip or another, and she's visiting, because her nanny needs a vacation, and her parents don't want her around. So, she sits with Heather, together, on the edge of her balcony, pointing out constellations from the book Heather borrowed from the library, when Heather sighs and leans her head against her shoulder. Her heart jumps in her throat and she tries to swallow it down, just like she does when Heather giggles the best giggle she's ever heard, or smiles at her weird in a way that makes her heart squeeze.

“Thanks for coming by, Heather… I was getting kinda lonely,” Heather mumbles, and she nods, sort of stiff, her arms at her sides. Not that Heather notices, clutching the book on stars close to her chest and picking at the edges of the cover. Heather's sad, she knows that, but she's done everything she can think of to make things better. At least, better than staying home alone with the staff, because Heather's parents are gone, like always, and the school doesn't care, because she's well fed and clothed. Not that they would care otherwise, but she tries not to think of that, and succeeds rather well when Heather nuzzles under her chin, and sighs against her neck. “I love you. Thanks again.”

It shouldn't be weird. It shouldn't. They've said 'I love you' a million times before, and maybe its because her chest has been squeezing weird all month, or maybe it's because they're alone and without Heather Duke, or maybe it's the way her hair is tickling her chin and her heart is beating so fast she's scared it's going to beat right out of her chest. Whatever it is, it makes it weird, makes it funny, and makes her mouth dry. Still, regardless of that, she manages to wrap an arm around Heather, and nuzzle the top of her head back. “I love you too.”

 

* * *

 

 

And it's weird again, when they're fourteen. She's been crying on Heather's shoulder for an hour, it feels like, and Heather has been petting her hair and trying to calm her down, but everything she says makes everything feel worse, because she doesn't deserve her. She doesn't deserve anything. After what the seniors did to her, she's disgusting, she's used, she deserves to be thrown in the trash where she belongs, because she _is_ trash. It's a broken mantra that repeats in the back of her head, telling her how disgusting she is, telling her she needs to end it all, and she's crying so hard because of it, she doesn't even notice when Heather lifts her head up and kisses her.

That. That shuts her up. The tears that have been streaking her cheeks slow, just a little, as she cracks her eyes open to look at Heather, before she's pulled back against her chest and hugged tight enough that her lungs burn for air, but she doesn't fight to breathe. She leans into it, hides her face against Heather, because her lungs aren't the only part of her burning right then, and she'd rather focus on that then how her thighs are sticky and gross and she just wants to never leave Heather's hug.

“I love you,” Heather breathes into her hair, and it makes the tears start again, heavy and thick, because she doesn't deserve her. She doesn't deserve love, but here Heather is. Heather is loving her anyways, even though she knows what's happened, and she's sobbing so hard against her that she can't even bring herself to say it back. Instead of trying, really, she buries her face against her, clings to her tighter, and tries to not think about how the hands of those boys felt on her skin, in favour of thinking about how Heather's hands feel on her instead.

 

* * *

 

 

It's when she's nearly fifteen, that it's not weird again for the first time since that night. It's been weird for months, since she took the trip to the doctor that she didn't want, to get rid of something else she didn't want either, and there's something that's been gnawing at the back of her head about those three words the entire time. Every time Heather said it, she had ignored her, brushed her off, because every time she said it, she can hear the seniors whispering it as well, and, every time she thinks about the seniors, and how their hands felt, it makes her want to claw her own skin off, and she had settled instead for scratching her arms. When the blood from the scratches start coating her nails, she starts painting them to match, so it hides it, like she hides the marks under long sleeves. And for a while, that works. No one says anything, no one even notices.

At least, not until it's after gym one day, and she's stripping to shower, because they couldn't get out of it and she's not going to class without doing so, that someone does. Of course, it's Heather too, and she's in the middle of tugging off her shorts, before she pauses and stumbles over, grabbing her arms. She starts to yell at her, starts to scream at her to let her go, when she notices what she's looking at, and her heart sinks. She wants to do a million things then, wants to jerk her arm away, wants to yell at Heather to knock it off, wants to push her away, wants to run and hide, but she's frozen by the grip Heather has on her arm, and when their eyes meet, she's frozen by the sadness there.

“Heather… Please stop doing this to yourself. I know that… That things have been tough lately… But I love you, more than anything else. Please promise me you'll stop doing this to yourself?” Heather asks, something akin to worry dripping in her tone, and she barely manages to turn away from the look she gives. She can only feel Heather's and Heather Duke's eyes on her, no one else daring to glance their way, and it takes some of the weight off of her chest as she agrees to try to stop. And she does, weeding the long sleeves back to a minimum, and allowing her nails to be other shades of red, besides the deep one that's almost a bitter black.

 

* * *

 

 

But, once they're sixteen, it's weird again. Not because something is chanting at her in the back of her head, but because Heather and Heather Duke and her are dating, in some weird hidden way. They're still trying to work things out, keeping themselves hidden from the world, and stumbling through the first real relationship any of them have ever had. Sure, they had dated boys before, but they had been awkward them, fumbling through things that they didn't quite understand and didn't necessarily want. And while this is an awkward too, it's a good awkward, a fumbling with happy giggles and shared kisses when they're alone. And together, the three of them inter-tangled in a mess on her bed, Heather Duke asleep in their cuddle puddle that's a mess of limbs, it happens.

“Thank you for… For not turning me out a couple years back,” she mumbles, just against Heathers lips, and Heather smiles, her eyes closed. Heather's almost asleep, no doubt in that or she would have told her some crap about how it wasn't a problem, and she knows she should let Heather sleep, but she can feel something bubbling up inside her, and wants to get it out before she loses the courage and can't bring herself to. So she presses her lips against Heather's, for just a brief second, enough to feel her smile into the kiss and lean against her, before she pulls back and presses their foreheads together, her chest squeezing. “I… I love you.”

Heather's eyes shoot open, fully awake at once, before she's squeezed close, her face buried against Heather's neck, and Heather's letting out these little noises that aren't quite words, even though she's trying. And sure, she knows she's said it first to Heather before, but they've been dating for a few months now, and that marks the first time any of them had said it since they started dating. So it's a special one, even if Heather Duke isn't awake to hear it, because she said it first, and it's no longer an 'I love you' as a friends but instead, the first 'I love you' as girlfriends. The first of many.


	33. Chapter 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Veronica realises that maybe the Heathers aren't telling her everything that they should be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ??? sorry this took me so long??? i just. did not have the inspiration to write much. and before i knew it, two weeks had passed, and... yeah. sorry. hope yall enjoy it anyways.

Flopping back against her pillows, Veronica sighed, trying not to think about the car ride home. The rest of the school day hadn’t gone too terribly, not really, but it had still been bad enough. The Heathers had gotten detention for disrupting class- thanks to their decision to further antagonise their biology teacher by not responding to her until she called them by their full names and not just Heather- and had left her without a ride home. Thankfully, her mother had been kind enough to pick her up afterwards, though the ride home would have been awkward enough _without_ her mother pressing for details as to why she didn’t have a ride home, when she had clearly gone with the Heathers to school that morning. She had just told her that they were in trouble, and her mother had taken it for that, though she had seemed disapproving all the same.

It hung unsaid between the two of them that she didn’t approve of their actions, and Veronica was content to not further press her luck by trying to defend her girlfriends right then. Once she had gotten home, she had retreated to her room, trying to avoid the probing questions she knew were coming about why the Heathers had gotten in trouble or if it was going to be a regular occurrence that they left her somewhere without a ride home.

She wasn’t really ready to answer _any_ questions about what had happened during the day, not with the open wound on her bottom lip that still stung just a little, and she knew that the ones her mother was going to ask were no where near what she was okay answering. She wasn’t actually too sure she would have an answer to any questions that she’d be asked anyways. If her mother asked about their plans for the night, she wasn’t even sure that she could give her an answer, not since she wasn’t actually sure that Heather Duke would be able to come after getting detention. They had kind of planned on going to a new movie that had came out, though they had only talked about it very briefly at lunch, and hadn’t even cemented the details before lunch was over.

Damn it. She had to make sure she talked to the Heathers more about their plans from now on. This was almost ridiculous. Two date nights in a row, and for both of them, she had no clue what was going on. It made her feel a little useless in their plans, and it was probably a little aggravating for the Heathers too, knowing that she had no clue what was going on with what they had planned. Maybe they preferred it that way though? Maybe they liked her not knowing what they had planned, so they could surprise her with it all later. It didn't seem all that likely, not entirely, but it also made some sense in the end. They didn’t want her to know what they had planned, because she was still getting used to the relationship and they were still trying to impress her. The idea in itself was kind of adorable. To know that they were trying to impress her.

The more she thought about it, the more she felt her cheeks colouring, until she couldn’t help it anymore. She rolled over and buried her face into her pillow, letting out a small squeal. They were trying to impress her, weren’t they? The Heathers weren’t telling her their plans on purpose, so that they could spring them on her and surprise her. That had to be it. They knew her address, could drive on their own for the most part. The only one that even shared their plans with her so far had been Heather McNamara, and that had mostly been out of necessity. She couldn’t drive like the other two could, so she had to share her plans if she wanted her to partake in it.

Still though, she had hid everything about their groupdate the entire night they had spent together, and had helped the other two dress her up and drag her off without even telling her what they were doing until they had arrived at the restaurant. Sure, they had bickered about who had  forgotten to tell her, but she suspected that had more to do her being ready to leave, instead of their actual plans. Right? It would probably be a good idea to ask them about it, actually. What was the worst that could happen if she did? They’d deny it?

Rolling over, she pulled her phone from her bra, but hesitated. Were they still in detention? It had been an hour since school had gotten out, according to the time on her phone, but that didn’t mean much. She had gotten detention with the Heathers once before, right after she had joined their group, and it had been an interesting experience to say the least. They had been held over by about twenty minutes because Heather Chandler had argued with the teacher watching over them, so it wasn’t even certain that the girls would be out of detention then if she texted them. It couldn’t hurt to try though, could it? She unlocked her phone and sent a quick message to the groupchat, before she could lose her nerve.

 

**squirter apparently:**

hey guys i uh. i have a question.

i dunno if youre still in detention or not tho so if you are then dont worry about responding right now???

 

She was surprised that, before she could even finish saying what she intended on, the groupchat buzzed to let her know a new message had came in. Well, at least that answered if they were out of detention. Kind of. It was also likely that at least one of the girls had their phones under the desk, as they were prone to do in class, but she tried not to dwell on that thought for too long. Certainly not because she had been doing the same thing earlier when she was contributing to the groupchat and spamming with memes. No, of course not. She read the message instead, trying to relax just a little.

 

**baby bee:**

go ahead ron-ron!!! were on our way home rn and heather is on her way to come pick you up so she might not respond!!!

also i am totally gonna be talking for heather bc she wants to talk to you too but im not letting her text and drive <3 <3 <3

**squirter apparently:**

well. uh. alright.

i was just wondering if you guys were like. avoiding telling me plans and stuff because youre trying to impress me???

like you guys have been kinda like, avoiding telling me what youve had planned?? besides sleepovers?? and i uh. just wanna know if its on purpose.

**baby bee:**

ummmm… D:

 

The response set her on edge. What did that mean? She never thought she could read so much into a frowny face before, but right then, it made her skin crawl, not knowing if she had done something wrong. She could feel her chest tighten, for just a moment, and took a deep breath, trying to keep herself calm. It was just a frown. Nothing more. Heather wasn’t upset with her. She tried to keep that thought in her head as she replied to the groupchat. Heather wasn’t upset with her.

 

**squirter apparently:**

ummm?

**baby bee:**

m a y b e??? just a lil?? x///x

heather says that she wants you to know that its not bc were ashamed of you but because we er…

we really want you to enjoy your trial run and not like. um. get bored with us?? D: D:

 

Bored? Why would she get bored with them? _How_ would she get bored with them? It wasn’t like they were toys for her to use and discard. They were her girlfriends, and sure, the first few days had been a bit awkward, but they were still working things out, were still trying to improve their relationship together. There wasn’t anything there to be bored of. Besides that, their dates had actually been rather fun, even if they had been mostly sleepovers. She had enjoyed cuddling with them, had enjoyed getting to know them for who they were instead of who they pretended to be.

 

**squirter apparently:**

oh… why do you think id get bored with you guys? i like being around you and spending time with you guys. i wouldnt get bored just because you guys told me what you had planned for our dates.

besides, im enjoying getting to know you for who you guys are and spending time with you is really nice in general, regardless of what you have planned and whether or not you tell me about it.

 **baby bee:**  

do… do you really mean that??? :S :S

 

Once again, the little faces Heather added onto the end had her on edge, but for a different reason. It was obvious before that Heather was worried about her reaction, and was worried about how she was going to take it, but right then, it was almost like she didn’t believe her. Like Heather was scared she was lying, that Veronica secretly hated them for hiding date plans from her. It wasn’t true, of course, but she wasn’t quite sure how to help her girlfriend understand that she wasn’t upset with her.

 

**squirter apparently:**

yes, i do. i promise that you telling me about dates isnt gonna be a bad thing.

**baby bee:**

are you upset with us?

 

And there it was. She did think she was upset. It was her fault, really. She should have worded it better, should have waited until she saw the three of them again, should have… A million possibilities ran through her head, but she once again shut them down, knowing that she didn’t have time to dwell on her thoughts. She had to focus. She couldn’t get lost in her thoughts and let the anxiety bubbling in her stomach overtake her right then. She had to be there for one of her girlfriends and explain that everything was okay.

 

**squirter apparently:**

of course not! why would i be?

**baby bee:**

i dunno,,,, i just thought you would hate us for hiding it from you,,,, im sorry,,,,

**squirter apparently:**

no its okay! dont be sorry! its all okay!

 

Shit. She felt like she was failing her, right then. She didn’t know what to say to make things better, or how to help Heather to understand that she wasn’t upset. There wasn’t even a need to see her face, knowing just by how she was typing that she was upset, and she could see it in the back of her head, how Heather had burrowed into her chest when her mother had walked in on them. How she had clung to her, like she was a lifeline. How she probably did the same to Heather Chandler the week before when she had a panic attack in her car.

It hit her then, that maybe Heather had panicked when her mother had come in the room. The symptoms were all there. She had probably had a panic attack, and Veronica had been too caught up in her own chest tightening and crashing thoughts to notice that her girlfriend had needed her. Holding her close to her chest had been all she had done, trying so desperately to calm herself down, and it had only been because of her mother talking the two of them down that everything had turned out fine.

Her mother probably knew about her anxiety because of that. She had seen her have a panic attack, had helped her through it even, so surely it was obvious what had happened. Why hadn’t she said anything about it though? Had she talked to Heather McNamara about it on the ride home? Was that why she hadn’t been allowed to go with them? Before her thoughts could go too farther, her phone buzzed, and she glanced down at the new messages.

 

**dick muncher supreme:**

Heather, it’s okay. She’s not upset, I’m sure. I think Veronica would tell us if she was upset. Right, Veronica?

God damn it, I forgot this was my name again.

 

Upon seeing Heather Duke’s familiar icon pop up, she let out a sigh of relief, not quite realising how much pressure it put on her to talk Heather down when she was alone. She knew that Heather had issues with relying heavily on others, had seen it in the way she clung to Heather Chandler and buried her face into her when things got rough, but right then, she didn’t know what to do. If Heather Duke hadn’t shown up, then she wasn’t quite sure how it would have gone, but she was grateful for her intervening all the same.

 

**squirter apparently:**

right! if i was upset, id let you know. its okay, heather, i promise.

**baby bee:**

okay,,,, if you say so,,,,,

**Drone Bee:**

It’s okay, Heather. You’re okay.

Also, Veronica, I’m in your driveway. Come on out when you’re ready, sweet kisses.

**squirter apparently:**

why did you have to be a bee too. now i feel like i gotta change my name to match, ugh.

also ill be right out! im sorry i freaked you out heather...

 **baby bee:**  

its okay,,, enjoy your date!!! me and heather are gonna snuggle for a bit before we go out.

 

She practically scrambled off the bed, eager to go on her date with Heather Duke, especially knowing that she was waiting for her outside. She still wasn’t quite sure what their date was supposed to be, not unless they were actually going to the movies like Heather had suggested at lunch. Even then, if they were going to the movies, she wasn’t quite sure what they were going to see, or what movie theater they were even going to go to. There weren’t many options, but she knew it would still be important to the Heathers to be seen at certain ones compared to others. Still, she tried not to think too much about it as she scrambled down the stairs, narrowly avoiding colliding with her mother as she did so.

“Oh! Hello, Ronnie, sweetie! I was wondering if maybe I could talk with you about the other night. It’s not bad,” her mother assured, a kind smile spread across her features, and Veronica swallowed around the lump in her throat, hesitating. She felt her phone buzzing, but knew it would be rude to do anything about it right then, and chose to ignore it, leaning back against the railing to the stairs.

“Er, can it wait, Mom? I’ve kinda gotta…” She trailed off weakly, and her mother frowned. It wasn’t really all that noticeable, but it was enough to make her chest clench, to make everything ache. She didn’t want to disappoint her, didn’t want to have to live with the knowledge that she had upset her mother, but right then, it seemed incredibly plausible that she was going to.

“I would really prefer we talk about this now. I’ve been putting it off for a couple days because I wanted to see if you were going to open up and share it with me on your own, but I know it can be scary to openly admit that there’s something wrong.” Her chest squeezed tighter and she bit her lip, trying to make sure she didn’t bite another hole there. Having one had worried the Heathers enough, and she wasn’t too keen on making another right then.

What had happened that had brought this up? She had to be talking about the other day when she caught her and Heather McNamara kissing, right? There wasn’t a lot that came to mind otherwise, so she was almost certain that was what her mother was referring to. Had she changed her mind? Were they going to kick her out after all? She was going to end up on the streets alone, because the Heathers wouldn’t dare associate with someone who had been kicked out of their home. They’d break up with her and the only one that would even dare to associate with her would be Martha, if even. It took no time at all for her chest to tighten to the point she felt like she couldn’t breathe, like the world was collapsing in on her, and the only thing that grounded her right then was the railing to the stairs, gripped tight.

“Wh-what?” was all she managed to squeak out right then, almost worried that everything was going to collapse. It felt like the world was falling on her shoulders or that it was gonna fall out from underneath her, like everything would end right then and there. She did her best to try to push it off, unable to even look her mother in the eye. She was scared of what she’d see there if she did.

“Ronnie, calm down. It’s nothing bad, I just wanted to… Oh, please breathe, sweetie, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to make you panic,” her mother said, her tone dripping with worry, and Veronica squeezed her eyes shut, forcing herself to suck in a breath. She could barely listen to what her mother was saying, could barely process it all, and when she felt hands on her shoulders, she could feel herself starting to shake. “Veronica, look at me. I’m not mad at you. It’s nothing bad, I promise. Please, talk with me. I’m here for you. Please, breathe-”

Whatever her mother was saying was cut off by a loud honk from outside, and it reminded her that outside, Heather Duke was waiting for her. That they had a date planned. The hands on her shoulders jerked away and before her mother could grab her again, or before she even opened her eyes to see her face, she pushed past her. She knew she’d face the consequences for it later, that her mother would be upset, and she could even hear her mother trying to talk to her as she ran down the rest of the stairs, as she ran out of the house. She didn’t dare stop, not until she slammed into the side of a car.

“Veronica! What the hell? What’s going on?” Heather Duke asked, and she barely had time to think about it, opening her eyes enough to see the worry there, before she climbed in her jeep and sat down in the passenger’s seat. Her chest was a little looser right then, enough that she could spare a glance towards the door to the house, and could see her mother in the doorway, staring out the car. For a moment, their eyes met, and she forced herself to look away, instead looking at her girlfriend.

“Nothing. Just… Can we go? I’m ready to go wherever you planned on taking me,” she mumbled, buckling herself up. There was a small moment of silence, and she could feel Heather’s eyes on her, looking her over, thinking the situation over, before she sighed. She was thankful that Heather didn’t ask any questions as she backed the car out of the driveway, and again, she felt her phone buzz. She didn’t even have to look at it to know that it was her mother. She didn’t bother even checking to see if she was calling her or texting her, simply silencing her phone. She looked to Heather instead, giving her a small smile that was returned, the smallest hint of worry in Heather’s eyes.


	34. Chapter 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Veronica texts JD while on her date with Heather Duke.

For the most part, the ride was quiet. Heather didn't say a word from the moment she got in the car, eyeing her but allowing her time to speak on her own terms as they drove, and Veronica was grateful. She didn't want to talk about what had happened with her mother, not really, and she was glad that Heather was giving her that. Even with knowing that Heather was watching her from the corner of her eye, she did her best to ignore her gaze, to ignore the feeling that said she needed to clarify what was wrong, and instead fiddled with her phone for the time being.

She only really bothered to check a few apps, mostly just to feed the cats on Neko Atsume and checking to see that the Heathers hadn’t posted anything embarrassing or awkward of her to Snapchat. Upon seeing no such thing, she instead found herself looking through her messages and chewing on her bottom lip nervously. There weren’t any new messages besides the ones from her mother, not since the Heathers had been in detention and had been talking to her in the group chat, but it did make her a little anxious to see that JD hadn’t sent her any new messages, and normally he would have sent her a couple. Maybe he was waiting for her to text first.

Thinking of JD made her pause. They still had that… date at the end week, and while she had been texting with him quite frequently, she was still anxious about it. Was it even a date? Or was that just her wishing so? She found herself picking at her phone case as she thought it over. Would it be a bad idea to ask him? She opened up their text thread and saw that the last time they had texted had been right before she had gone to sleep and wished him a good night. She would have expected another message from him, as he normally sent two or three in the morning, and another in the afternoon, but there weren’t any. Trying not to over analyse it, she sent him a couple quick messages in rapid succession.

 

**Veronica Sawyer:** hey is everything okay? normally youd have texted me by now and im kinda worried about it now honestly.

 

**Veronica Sawyer:** and i also maybe have a question about this friday if thats okay to talk about. but im mostly worried about you right now so thats first priority.

 

Internally cursing herself for her awkward and clumsy attempts at kindness and showing that she cared about JD, she locked her phone, setting it in her lap before sparing a glance at the window. If the signs they passed by were any indicator, they were driving towards the business section of Sherwood, and she had to wonder if Heather was taking her to another restaurant. Neither of them were really dressed to go out to a fancy dinner, and she didn’t think any of the Heathers would be caught anything below perfect on their dates. Besides, that would practically be a copy of the night before, and she figured the Heathers wanted each date to be special. So another restaurant was ruled out. Still, they were in Sherwood, so it wasn’t likely they’d be going to the mall either. Not since the only one really worth going to was in the next town over, and they were heading in the opposite direction.

Maybe Heather actually was taking her to the movie they had talked about. Or maybe they were going for ice cream. Or… Something else. There was a million different possibilities that she could think of for their date, and being in the business district didn’t really restrict the choices any. She thought briefly about asking, and then had to wonder if Heather would actually tell her. Heather McNamara had told her earlier that they had been hiding date ideas so she wouldn’t get bored of them, and she wondered if the same would be true for right then. 

“So… Do you want to talk about what happened now?” Heather asked before she could get a word out, and it startled her from her train of thought. She couldn’t help but hesitate as she processed Heather’s question, and then slowly shook her head, despite the worry in Heather’s tone. She didn't want to talk about what had happened with her mother. It was embarrassing, and she hated knowing that she had worried Heather because of what happened. She hated that she made Heather worried. She hated that they worried over her. She hated that her mother had been worried over her too, and she had just ran away from her, like that was going to solve anything.  
It hadn't. If anything, it had made everything worse. She would have to go home later and face her mother. Face the consequences. She had to explain to Heather why she had ran out of the house and got into her car. She had made everything worse because the thought of talking to her mother had terrified her, had left her scared out of her mind, and she hadn't even been sure what she wanted to talk about. Just being pinned on the stairs had left her terrified, had left her wanting to run away, and for once, she had indulged herself in those frightened thoughts, had let herself run, but it hadn't solved anything. It had made everything worse.

And now she had to explain herself to Heather.

She glanced to Heather as that thought crossed her mind, biting on her bottom lip. She should at least try. It would be the best course of action. But… She wasn't sure how. How was she supposed to tell her that her mother had asked to talk about something, she had a panic attack, and ran out the door, without making Heather worry about her more? There was no right way to talk about the fact she had a panic attack without worrying Heather. She had to try, she knew that, but she really wasn’t quite sure what to say.

“I just,” she started, then paused, finding that wouldn't be the best way to tell Heather what had happened. She didn’t have the proper words, and they weren’t exactly coming easily either. She swallowed around the lump instead, looking to her hands and finding herself picking at the edges of her phone case. She had to say something. “My mom wanted to talk while I was trying to get out the door. That's all.”

“Veronica, no offence,” Heather said, stopping at the next red light, “but that's a load of crap and we both know it.”  There was a slight pause as Heather turned to look at her, and she could hear her shifting in her seat, shifting closer to her she was sure, before Heather's hand appeared on her thigh. Her eyes slowly followed up the arm attached to her hand, before she met her eyes, and she found herself wanting to flinch away at the softness there. “Please tell me what's wrong? I promise I'm not gonna be upset. I want to be here for you. Please?”

The lump in her throat seemed to grow as she listened to Heather. It took everything in her to turn away, to break the eye contact, and she forced herself to look out the window instead. Heather's eyes were too kind, too caring, and it made her heart ache to know she had hurt her by not sharing what had happened. She should share, but the thought made her stomach ache. How could she? She had already given it her best shot, but Heather hadn't believed her.

“It's… It's nothing more than that, okay? I got in a bit of a fight with her. She wanted to talk with me about something, I don’t even know what, and I ran. There… Isn’t anything else to say,” she sighed, and Heather's hand withdrew. Instantly she missed the contact, but tried not to dwell on it, instead focusing on unlocking her phone and the new message she had, while she felt the car start down the street again.

“Okay, Veronica. I’m here for you though, alright? You don’t have to hide anything. My opinion of you isn’t going to change just because you got in a fight with your mom.” She nodded, sparing a small smile at Heather, and was glad to get one in return. It was nice to see that Heather wasn’t upset at her, and hadn’t pushed too hard for exact details.

“Thank you.” Heather made an affirmative noise in response, one that made things a little easier to swallow, before she focused on her phone again. She unlocked it and upon realising there were a couple messages from JD, she eagerly opened the text thread back up. She took her time to read over the new messages, and made sure to turn her phone from silent back to vibrate, knowing that it would be better if she was actually notified that he had sent a message.

 

**Mr. No-Name Kid:** Sorry everything is fine Ive just. Been busy today and havent had the time to text until now but there’s nothing to worry about I promise

 

**Mr. No-Name Kid:** What question do you have about friday though and are you wanting to cancel because its fine if you do

 

She felt her anxiety bubble up again as she read over his response, chewing on her bottom lip. Did he really think she wanted to cancel the date? All she had done was brought it up, and only because she was unsure if it actually was a date, and that had been where his mind had gone first thing. She was quick to assure him that she didn’t want to cancel their plans, and was even looking forward to it, though she wouldn’t have let the Heathers know about their plans. She was still scared of retaliation for their plans, and how the Heathers would take knowing that she was interested in someone else too.

 

**Veronica Sawyer:** no no, dont worry! im not cancelling or anything! i just. uh.

 

She hesitated as she sent the first message, feeling her stomach turn. She wasn’t quite on the brink of a panic attack again, but she could feel the anxiety bubbling up and gnawing at her stomach, and could only hope that another panic attack wasn’t in her future. She couldn’t handle having a panic attack in Heather’s jeep, not after all of the panicking she had done in Heather Chandler's porsche the past couple days.She didn’t want a repeat of any of that.

Still, she was anxious about the question looming in the back of her head. What if it wasn’t a date? What if he wasn’t interested in her? What if he just thought her to be one of the popular girls that he could use for a fuck, or was trying to be her friend because of Martha? She supposed, dimly, that the first option was what she was now. She was one of the popular girls. She was one of the girls that everyone wanted as a friend or a fuck. She was one of them to be used and abused by the system as people pleased. 

But… He didn’t seem to think of her that way. He had spent all week talking to her, without her even prompting him, and had learned some of her interests. He knew she liked history, had even named a cat after one of the U.S. presidents when she had been in middle school. He knew her favourite books, knew which ones to quote at her to make her swoon. Hell, he was even friends with Martha. The girl without a single mean bone in her body. She had even heard Martha talk about him before, about how he had some issues he was trying to work out, but was otherwise a pretty nice guy. He had probably even heard things about her before she knew who he was. He wasn’t going to just be using her, she had to be sure of that. There was no way Martha would be friends with someone who would do that.

The anxiety still bubbled though, making it hard to think of anything else. It took all of her energy to type out the next message and sent it, knowing it could potentially ruin one of the few friendships she had if she messed everything up with him.

 

**Veronica Sawyer:** i was wondering if this friday is a date or not. its not a big deal if its not i just didnt want to misinterpret your friendliness or anything? so sorry if its not and im just being dumb here haha

 

She barely waited to see that the message had been sent before she locked her phone and sat it back down, gnawing on her bottom lip once more. She tried not to think too much about how badly it could all go, and it was only when she felt Heather’s thumb tapping against her chin did she realise the car had stopped. It took her a moment to look around before she realised that her earlier guess had been right. They were sitting in the parking lot to the movie theatre. She hadn’t even realised they had stopped, and spared a glance at Heather, opening her mouth to say something, to apologise for zoning out. Instead, she felt Heather’s thumb trace over her bottom, particularly where she had been gnawing on it, and froze.

“Please don’t bite on your lip, Ronica. You’re going to make yourself bleed again, and I don’t want to have to explain to Heather and Heather that you hurt yourself again,” Heather sighed, before she straightened up. She watched as she unbuckled, and swallowed around the lump in her throat.

“It wasn’t on purpose,” she weakly defended, and Heather gave a weak shrug, a sort of kindness sparkling in her eyes that made her knees weak and her stomach knot. She didn’t think she’d ever really get used to seeing kindness in any of their eyes. Especially not directed at her.

“I know, but try not to do it, okay? I know it’s hard not to do something that you’re doing subconsciously, but I’m here for you, and if you’re over thinking and need a distraction… Then I can be that distraction.” Heather’s eyes sparkled for just a moment as she climbed out of the jeep, and she unbuckled herself carefully, just as her phone vibrated. She didn’t think twice about what she was doing as she opened up the new message, scanning it over and smiling despite the anxiety bubbling up in her stomach.

 

**Mr. No-Name Kid:** Well I was assuming it was a date but if youd prefer it not be…

 

A nervous giggle escaped her and she squeezed her phone close to her chest, unable to help it. It was a date. She had a date at the end of the week with JD, and the rest of the week was going to be spent with her girlfriends. She was giddy, excitement bubbling up and making it hard to stop smiling, and it was only when Heather cleared her throat did she snap back to the present. She spared a glance at Heather again, and saw her standing outside the car, one hand on the door as she leaned inside.

“Are you going to be getting out of my car any time soon, Ronica? Or do I need to drag your ass inside?” Heather huffed, clear annoyance in her tone and her walls obviously back up, and Veronica didn’t have to be asked twice. She was quick to clamber out of the car, not wanting to keep Heather waiting more than was necessary. She felt like she had already done that enough with just checking the text. By the time she had shut the car door though, Heather had come around the side of the car, and was staring at her hand. She looked like she wanted to grab it, but was holding back. Veronica was almost tempted to make the move herself, before Heather’s eyes shifted to meet hers again. There was a weakness there, a worry. She was scared of how people would react. “Come on… Let’s get inside already.”

Inside. In the dark. Where no one could see them holding hands, could see them leaning against each other in the dark theatre, could see them kissing if it came to it. Inside, in the dark, was safety, and right then, with the sun still shining over the parking lot, they were exposed, out in the open.

“I’m right behind you,” she assured, hoping that Heather got that she understood why she was excited to be inside, away from the openness, the danger that the parking lot represented, and just barely caught her smile, before they started towards the theatre together, side by side. She made sure to type a quick reply to JD, knowing that she wouldn’t have time once the movie started, and wanted him to know that she was, absolutely and entirely, just as interested in him as she was the Heathers, even if he didn’t know that she was dating them too.

 

**Veronica Sawyer:** oh yes!!! I absolutely want it to be a date!! I was. maybe worried that you didnt. which is the whole reason i was asking, honestly. Im so glad to hear it is a date though! I cant wait for friday!

 

She barely had time to look back at Heather, feeling her step closer and brush against her side, before her phone went off again. Veronica leaned against Heather slightly in return as they stopped to stand in line and wait for their chance to buy tickets, before she opened up the last message from JD. Just knowing he cared enough about her to text her back that fast made her excited, and that was before she even read the message he had sent.

 

**Mr. No-Name Kid:** Same here I can’t wait for our date and I’m sure it’ll be awesome because you’ll be there

 

Seeing it alone made her heart swell, and she was too excited to do much more than lock her phone and hide her face against Heather, flustered beyond belief, and wanting to enjoy the bit of contact she could get with her girlfriend without it being too suspicious. No one would think too much of it if they saw the two together, but she knew Heather would understand that was craving her affection, and couldn’t wait to get inside, so in the dark of the theatre, they could enjoy each other’s presence, without worrying what anyone else thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uhhh?? sorry that took a month and change to write??? im not gonna swear the next chapter isnt going to take that long to write too, because ive kinda. lost all motivation to do anything lately. even answering asks on tumblr has been hard. so. sorry. think of this as kind of a hiatus i guess??? im gonna try working on other things in the mean time, so trial run is... gonna be on a back burner for now. sorry.


	35. Chapter 31

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heather and Veronica stop at the local 7/11 for Corn Nuts and Red Vines.

The rest of the date with Heather Duke was rather uneventful. Not to say it wasn’t wonderful, of course, because it was. It was as wonderful as she could have hoped it would be. Just uneventful. Afterwards, she did end up staying over at Heather’s for the night, but there wasn’t even really anything that she could find to write in her diary, besides that the day had gone much better than expected, and her first date alone with Heather Duke had gone wonderfully. Really, they hadn’t done much more than hold hands while the lights were down in the theatres, and cuddle while reading their favourite books together once they were home alone. As it turned out, Heather was also a fan of classic books, and thoroughly enjoyed  _ Catcher In The Rye _ , and while it wasn’t quite her favourite, she did enjoy seeing her so happy.

School the next morning turned out to be uneventful as well, though the Heathers were perhaps a bit more protective than she would have expected after everything from the past couple days, and Heather McNamara had been rather happy to tell her they were having a sleepover that night over their lunch. It was nice to know their plans ahead of time, and she had been excited to spend the night with her girlfriends. Especially with knowing that the slight limp she had for the past couple days had felt better, and she no longer worried about doing anything with the three that could make the pain worse.

After school, Heather Chandler had taken her home to get clothes for that night, grumbling about needing to motor soon when she got out of the car, and inside, she found her mother sitting on the couch, seeming grateful to see she was okay. The short conversation, thankfully, avoided her running out of the house the night before, and it had gone well enough as far as she was concerned. Her mother had even allowed her to leave the house with a set of clothes for the night and for school the next day, though Veronica had to promise they’d talk that weekend, and with that, she was running back out to Heather Chandler’s car.

“Took you long enough,” Heather groaned when Veronica opened the door again, and she could only roll her eyes as she plopped down in the seat. She sat her bag by her feet and shut the door, barely catching the sight of her mother watching from the living room window as Heather started to pull out of the driveway. There was a pit that started at the bottom of her stomach at the sight, anxiety starting to gnaw at her, but she turned her head away, looking to Heather instead.

“Oh, shut it. My mom wanted to talk while I was home. She gets worried about me spending so much time out,” Veronica said, and Heather snorted, rolling her eyes but not taking her eyes off the road. The pit in her stomach felt like it was growing, her stomach clenching and squeezing in a way that made her feel like she was going to be sick. Still, she tried to push the thought from her mind, knowing that Heather wasn’t actually upset with her, and she still cared about what she was trying to say. She just had trouble expressing things properly. She wasn’t actually upset with Veronica.

“I don’t understand why. It’s not like we’re taking you out of town or whatever,” Heather grumbled, and Veronica leaned over the divider, bumping their shoulders against each other lightly. Heather relaxed after a moment, lightly leaning back, before she let out a soft sigh that made the way her stomach squeezed loosen just a little. “Fuck, sorry if I’m being a dick again. Your relationship with your parents is… Probably a bit better than mine. I might be… A little jealous.”

“A lil.” Veronica nuzzled into her neck, just a little so she wouldn’t distract Heather from the road, and let out a small sigh of relief when Heather nuzzled back. It was nice to know she was admitting what she was feeling for once, and she decided to revel in the moment while she had it. “My parents care about me though… That doesn’t mean you’re a bad person for assuming it’s as bad as your own is, or… Whatever.”

“‘Or whatever’,” Heather mocked lightly, and Veronica glanced up at her to see the adorable way her nose wrinkled. It seemed to be the wrinkle that meant she was thinking something over rather hard, and it made Veronica wondered if she knew she was wrinkling her nose, or if she was unaware that she was actually showing emotion. “That totally makes me feel better about like, ya know, being a shitty person. Thanks. Thanks so much. Best girlfriend ever.”

“I know it, and you’re welcome.” Veronica straightened up as Heather huffed, barely holding back a snicker, and glanced out the window. Up ahead, she could see the local 7/11, and turned to Heather. She knew Heather’s favourite snack was hard to find, and the only place that sold it nearby was the store they were approaching. It would be the perfect way to bring out the smile she so loved and distract Heather thinking she was a bad person and the tinge of jealousy she was sure she was feeling from thinking about their relationships with their parents. Of course, there was always the added benefit of getting her own favourite snack on the way. She just had to convince Heather to stop... “Hey, can we stop at the 7/11? I wanna get some Red Vines and a Big Gulp.”

“What? No way! I wanna get home, Roni,” Heather said, her nose wrinkling again, and Veronica had to wonder what she could possibly be thinking about that made her wrinkle her nose. She didn’t quite understand what the big rush was to get home, not really, but she just assumed Heather was excited to get her alone, since that always seemed to be what was on her girlfriends’ minds. Well, that really wasn’t true, they had been kind enough the past couple days not to push the issue, but it was still burned into the back of her mind that the three of them had been more interested in having sex with her at first, like some demented competition, as compared to actually talking things out with her. That hurt to think about, actually. Just a little.

It was a bit unhealthy, maybe, that they had been so interested in having sex with her first, in being the one to take her virginity, in winning over the others, but she knew now, at least, that she wasn’t some game to them. Even if she had started as a game, they were trying to be better for her. They were acting better. They were treating her better. She could tell that they cared about her. The thought soothed the pain over, making it easier to think over, and she wondered if bringing it up later would be a good idea.

Right then though, she knew that if she wanted to stop for their favourite snacks, then she’d have to pull out all of the stops. Without a second thought on it, she leaned against the seat divider, propping her elbows on the console, and used her best puppy dog eyes, hoping that Heather would fall for them. Heather barely glanced at her from the corner of her eye, and Veronica stuck out her bottom lip for the added effect.

“Pleeeeease, Heather? It’ll be really quick, I promise… You can even come in to make sure of it.” There was a pause, and Veronica worried that maybe it wasn’t going to work, that she had failed, but after a moment, Heather groaned and her shoulders slumped, glaring at her from the corner of her eye.

“Fuck you. Fine. We’ll get your damn Red Vines, but I’m getting Corn Nuts… And you’re paying.” Veronica threw her arms up in the air and let out a small whoop, one that made Heather chuckle in amusement, and Veronica sat back against her seat, knowing that right then, Heather was at least not thinking about how she had been treating Veronica, or her relationship with her parents. That was a win, as far as she was concerned, and when Heather pulled into the parking lot, she barely noticed a motorcycle parked nearby. It looked familiar, but she couldn’t think of anyone she knew that drove a motorcycle, so she shrugged it off, deciding not to think too much about it.

Once the car was parked, Heather was quick to get out of the car, and Veronica followed after as quick as she could, shutting the door behind her and moving to the other side of the car, sticking close to Heather’s side. There was a slight smile there, small enough she almost missed it, but she beamed at Heather in return. She did wonder why Heather was in such a rush to get home, even walking faster than normal in an effort to get to the store and out in no time, and she could only huff, barely able to keep up with Heather’s longer strides. Damn her longer legs. She realised then, as she looked Heather over, exactly how much taller than her she was. The heels certainly didn’t help, and with them, Heather towered over her.

“God Veronica, drool much?” Heather grumbled, though her cheeks were coloured lightly, and Veronica felt her own cheeks colour at being caught looking over Heather. She turned away, ears burning, and tried not to let her embarrassment seep into her voice when she spoke, doing her best to fluster Heather in response.

“Sorry, Heather, I can’t help it. Who could? It’s such a great view, I couldn’t help staring,” she cooed, though she could hear the flustered way her voice fluctuated. Heather didn’t say anything for a moment, and she spared a glance to her out of the corner of her eye, expecting to see her staring straight ahead and her normal expression plain as day. The one that said she was ready to murder anyone who got in her way. Instead of the murderous expression, the one Veronica was so used to, Heather’s cheeks were a light pink, beautiful in their own right, and her nose was wrinkled again. After a moment, Heather seemed to notice she was looking, and their eyes met, before Heather stuck her tongue out slightly.

“Shut up Veronica… Let’s just get your stupid vines and my Corn Nuts already.” All she could think to do was nod right then, surprised to see Heather Chandler, of all people, so flustered by a simple compliment, and stepped in through the sliding door when it opened for them. Heather stepped in next to her, refusing to look anywhere near Veronica, and if they hadn’t been in public just then, Veronica would have grabbed her hand and lead her to the snacks. She couldn’t though. Not right then. Instead, she settled for gently bumping her hip against Heather’s, just enough to get her attention, and started off towards the snack aisle.

It didn’t take much to find their snacks, Heather snatching hers up the moment she saw them and holding them rather protectively, and when she found her own and grabbed the pack off the shelf, Heather let out a noise she could only think of as positive, and grabbed her arm, starting to drag her towards the register.

“Heather! Wait! I wanna get a Big Gulp,” Veronica insisted, pulling her arm out of Heather’s grip, and was surprised at the annoyed little noise Heather made. It was something close to a whine, though not quite, as if Heather Chandler would really whine in public, and Veronica turned to raise a brow at her girlfrien, thoroughly confused. “What? It’s just a soda! Besides, I’m supposed to be paying anyways. It’ll just take a minute.”

“Veroooonicaaaa… I wanna go  _ hooome _ . Come oooon.” She rolled her eyes and started off towards the soda fountain regardless, and it was only a moment later that she heard the familiar click of Heather’s high heels against the tiled floor, telling her that she was following close behind despite her protests. She took her time at the soda fountain, carefully picking the large cup. Just in case her girlfriends decided to drink some as well. There was some doubt in the back of her mind that they would try, since they all seem so insistent on eating healthy foods so often, but it was still a thought in the back of her mind, and as she looked over the drink choices, she wondered which one they would all enjoy.

As she tried to make up her mind, she caught the tail end of the song on the radio ending. A saccharine sweet voice flitted in a moment later, introducing the next song, though she paid in little mind. She was focused on her soda choice, and perhaps taking a bit longer than usual just to annoy Heather and see if she would admit why she was in such a big rush to get home. Maybe if she took long enough, Heather would tell her without her having to press the issue too much. She knew that if she asked straight out, then Heather was less likely to tell her, and would probably hide it from her like it was supposed to be a surprise. Maybe it was a surprise? That seemed to be something the Heathers enjoyed, surprising her with dates and plans…

Without too much of a thought as to what she was doing, Veronica started filling her cup up with her favourite soda, finding herself humming along to the radio under her breath. Dimly, she realised it was Royals, a song that was popular a few years back, and had been her favourite for a few months after she had first heard it. She turned back to Heather, about to tell her so, but the words died in her throat when she saw how absolutely and purely  _ panicked _ Heather looked. Her eyes were unfocused, tears brimming in the corners and her mouth hanging slightly agape. Before Veronica could get a word out to even begin to ask what was wrong, to even try to help and see what was wrong, Heather turned and ran out the door, dropping the Corn Nuts and leaving Veronica alone and wondering what in the world happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> still on hiatus, bUT i had the inspiration for this chapter and absolutely HAD to get it out before i lost it, so. i hope you guys enjoyed the chapter, and sorry for taking so long to update!!! also?? sorry if things are a little stiff?? i havent really been writing too much lately, sorry,,,, but,,, i think,,, updates are gonna be a little more frequent now...? but im not gonna swear to that lmao!!

**Author's Note:**

> you can find me on tumblr at https://abotrash.tumblr.com/ if youre interested in talking more to me or seeing what im working on, sending asks, and getting updates for when i post!


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